Wife wants divorce, have child together. Looking for advice.

[AustinRacing]

It’s good that you’re exploring options. My advice to you is give it a few days as it seems you’re now emotional and rightly so. Long term plans are best made with a clear mind. I don’t know you’re personal circumstances but it is fair to say a lot of guys hear that from their wives from time to time. Was it said in anger? If so she’s blowing some steam and trying to hit you where it hurts. Women are good at emotional blackmail. Good luck with it and stay positive. Most guys here have been through divorce and have managed to come on top.  

Edited January 25, 2022 by AustinRacing

[node]

OP, I can understand your confusion and pain during this difficult time. The advise given by many here is first, stay very calm, so you can think through how to deal with what you may have to face up ahead.

Most provinces granting extension base on a National comes after the divorce is final and joint custody is awarded. Many provinces will / does not even grant this extension even thought it is in the Immigration Order. Many have been successful with agents obtaining this for them. 

If your name is on the Birth Certificate of your child, obtaining and keeping the Original is vital to you, the mother being Thai can always get another much easier that you can. The other is the Passport, she cannot get another Thai passport unless you the father if on the Birth Certificate, and joint custody was granted, you as the father must also sign to get it.

Ask yourself if you want your marriage to work or, you prefer walking away from it. 

If you want it to work, see if she is willing to go to counsel, and you all work out the issues.

If she is adamant that she wants a divorce, see if she is willing to sit down and work out an agreement between you all concerning the child, and your immigration status here. Then go to the Ampur office, of course, at least one of the  person's for you must speak / read Thai, so you know what you are signing.

If that does not work out, then the Thai court would me next. Thais would always think they will fear better in a Thai Court, reason is self explanatory.

There are only (10) things a Thai court can divorce a person for under Thai law, 90% of Thais would claim "Abuse", if you can prove there was no abuse in your marriage, that leave them asking for consensual divorce. Remember this can only be granted if you consent, if you refused the Thai court cannot continue with this divorce. It is also very involved Pm, if you need more detail on this. 

Do not fear about losing custody of your child; 99% of the time Thai court would grant joint custody, that said, the Mother can still make life very difficult for you here. I apologized for the lengthy post but I hope in some way it helps.

[Doctor Tom]

OP, get yourself a reputable lawyer.  A public open forum is no place to ask for advice from anonymous posters in these circumstances, I would have thought that was obvious?  

[DrJack54]

12 minutes ago, Doctor Tom said:

OP, get yourself a reputable lawyer.  A public open forum is no place to ask for advice from anonymous posters in these circumstances, I would have thought that was obvious?  

Oh someone with first hand experience with Thai lawyers.

Great. So name one. 

I'm sure the OP can obtain an appointment quickly..

[TimBKK]

25 minutes ago, Doctor Tom said:

OP, get yourself a reputable lawyer.  A public open forum is no place to ask for advice from anonymous posters in these circumstances, I would have thought that was obvious?  

What is *quite* obvious is that the OP has received some thoughtful and detailed advice from people who have (unfortunately) lived through the same situation.  A “public open forum” is a perfectly reasonable place to start.  Obviously.

[Doctor Tom]

38 minutes ago, DrJack54 said:

Oh someone with first hand experience with Thai lawyers.

Great. So name one. 

I'm sure the OP can obtain an appointment quickly..

Sarcasm doesn't help, which is why he should ignore the comments of people on here who he doesn't know. The big cities have many well reputed and available law firms that can protect his interests and those of the child,  To suggest otherwise  is ignorant and biased. To not engage a lawyer is risky and ultimately can be more expensive in the long run, both financially and emotionally. It does not have to be confrontational. Now that is good advice. 

[DrJack54]

6 minutes ago, Doctor Tom said:

To not engage a lawyer is risky and ultimately can be more expensive in the long run, both financially and emotionally

Most of them are num skulls.

The OP at this point has given very few details. 

First hand experience here in Thailand in my thinking is very useful.

Have you been in OP situation in Thailand.

Do you personally have recommendation for a lawyer. 

Put up. 

Lot depends on OP situation.

Lawyer could be like throwing KERO on a fire..

Edited January 25, 2022 by DrJack54

[Doctor Tom]

27 minutes ago, TimBKK said:

What is *quite* obvious is that the OP has received some thoughtful and detailed advice from people who have (unfortunately) lived through the same situation.  A “public open forum” is a perfectly reasonable place to start.  Obviously.

Haha, from people he doesn't  know, who may or may not be who they say they are, who may or may not have had the same experiences, who may or may not know the first thing about Thailand, who may never have been here and know nothing of the culture and  of the law and to hang his whole future and those of his child on these anonymous people.  Its not just a bad idea, its madness.  Forums are great for advice on issues like pool maintenance, plumbing issues, car opinions, immigration navigation, what bed to buy, not for legal issues with all the turmoil and emotional issues surrounding this area.  Now that is obvious. 

[Doctor Tom]

5 minutes ago, DrJack54 said:

Most of them are num skulls.

With respect, you don't know what you are talking about. Very many are perfectly professional, qualified and competent. 

 

I have wasted  enough of my valuable time this morning responding here, its  up to the OP now. I wish him well. 

Edited January 25, 2022 by Doctor Tom

[DrJack54]

4 minutes ago, Doctor Tom said:

With respect, you don't know what you are talking about. Very many are perfectly professional, qualified and competent. 

 

I have wasted  enough of my valuable time this morning responding here, its  up to the OP now. I wish him well. 

I suggested he look in marriage/divorce forums at the start of this thread to find topics like this.

 

 

Wealth of information, however according to you forums are waste of time. 

Edited January 25, 2022 by DrJack54

[TimBKK]

13 minutes ago, Doctor Tom said:

 Its not just a bad idea, its madness. 

Hysterical much? 

[FritsSikkink]

2 hours ago, node said:

OP, I can understand your confusion and pain during this difficult time. The advise given by many here is first, stay very calm, so you can think through how to deal with what you may have to face up ahead.

Most provinces granting extension base on a National comes after the divorce is final and joint custody is awarded. Many provinces will / does not even grant this extension even thought it is in the Immigration Order. Many have been successful with agents obtaining this for them. 

If your name is on the Birth Certificate of your child, obtaining and keeping the Original is vital to you, the mother being Thai can always get another much easier that you can. The other is the Passport, she cannot get another Thai passport unless you the father if on the Birth Certificate, and joint custody was granted, you as the father must also sign to get it.

Ask yourself if you want your marriage to work or, you prefer walking away from it. 

If you want it to work, see if she is willing to go to counsel, and you all work out the issues.

If she is adamant that she wants a divorce, see if she is willing to sit down and work out an agreement between you all concerning the child, and your immigration status here. Then go to the Ampur office, of course, at least one of the  person's for you must speak / read Thai, so you know what you are signing.

If that does not work out, then the Thai court would me next. Thais would always think they will fear better in a Thai Court, reason is self explanatory.

There are only (10) things a Thai court can divorce a person for under Thai law, 90% of Thais would claim "Abuse", if you can prove there was no abuse in your marriage, that leave them asking for consensual divorce. Remember this can only be granted if you consent, if you refused the Thai court cannot continue with this divorce. It is also very involved Pm, if you need more detail on this. 

Do not fear about losing custody of your child; 99% of the time Thai court would grant joint custody, that said, the Mother can still make life very difficult for you here. I apologized for the lengthy post but I hope in some way it helps.

Good post, only 1 remark: " if you can prove there was no abuse in your marriage,"  One can not prove something that isn't there, she would have to prove it is there.  

[NoshowJones]

On 1/24/2022 at 1:05 PM, FridgeMagnet1 said:

Really, how? 

This is Thailand.

[kingstonkid]

Op get a good lawyer explain what yo need and what you are willing to do.

[DrJack54]

5 hours ago, kingstonkid said:

Op get a good lawyer explain what yo need and what you are willing to do.

I laugh at these posts.

Most will think this next bit is made up. It's not. 

Just now received messenger from Oz friend haven't heard from in years. Cut to chase.

His now x wife just cut him after building house (her land obviously) and having child now 10.

The x just basically stated that she only married for house and to have child....

He recently had parents over from Oz and my friend paid 1000aud just so his parents could see his daughter for her birthday.

etc etc. 

The OP is welcome to pm.

 

These posts of "get a good lawyer" are Dreamworld stuff. 

 

Edited January 25, 2022 by DrJack54

[Our Man in the Tropics]

Irrespective of birth parent's personal relationship with the other birth parent of the child,- it is an extra benefit for either, & indeed both, & also the child, to get "Legitimization of Parenthood" Certificate granted by Amphoe Registry-Office where child is registered as living.

If u cannot get cooperation from other parent to get from respective Amphoe Registry-Office,- u may apply through the local court.

 

I think that Legitimization of Parenthood can only be applied for when child is 7 years or older ;

Perhaps other Asean Now posters will confirm & elaborate or correct on this point.

 

Required :

 

A_

Applying Parent

 

A_1_

Applying Parent to be at Amphoe Registry-Office in-person with the child [ & other parent ]

A_2_

Presentation of original Passport

A_3_

Proof of applying Parent's living place [ I not sure if this needed in this instance ] :

A_3_1_

Rental Agreement & / or House-Book where applying Parent is living

A_3_2_

Bill & / or Envelope from authority [ govt. or private utility company ] addressed to this applicant

Unless if living with the other Parent if that other Parent is Thai ;

In that case,- the House-Book should be sufficient.

 

B_

Other Parent

 

B_1_

Other Parent to be at Amphoe Registry-Office in person with applying parent

B_2_

Presentation of original Passport or official ID Card issued by Thailand Govt.

B_3_

Proof of this Parent's living place [ I not sure if this needed in this instance ] :

B_3_1_

Rental Agreement & / or House-Book where applying Parent is living

B_3_2_

Bill & / or Envelope from authority [ govt. or private utility company ] addressed to this applicant

Unless if living with the other Parent if that other Parent is Thai ;

In that case,- the House-Book should be sufficient.

 

C_

The Child

 

C_1_

Birth Certificate of Child ;

Should have proper name of child ;

Not generic name given while waiting for father to recognise parenthood of child for issue of Birth Certificate having the proper name of child.

C_2_

Presentation of official ID Card of Child issued by Thailand Govt.

C_3_

House-Book of where Child resides

C_4_

Child to be at Amphoe Registry-Office in-person with the applying parent [ & other parent ]

I not sure if this is point is stipulated.

Perhaps other Asean Now posters will confirm & elaborate or correct on this point.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

I suspect that I have omitted some necessary documents to be submitted ;

So,- perhaps other Asean Now posters will clarify on this point.

 

Regards,

 

Our Man in the Tropics

Edited January 25, 2022 by Our Man in the Tropics

[Guest Isaanlife]

7 hours ago, kingstonkid said:

Op get a good lawyer explain what yo need and what you are willing to do.

In his 30's maybe he can't afford one?

 

[ericthai]

On 1/24/2022 at 4:58 AM, spidermike007 said:

There are agents who arrange that. Also many corrupt immigration agents and offices. Very common here. 

Immigration has nothing to do with a work permit. Work permits are issued by the labor department.

 

[talahtnut]

Can you find out what her beef is about, maybe you could sort it out,

Wimmins is funny things mate, time of the month and all that stuff.

I've done 24 yrs, and I know they are all a bit crackers.

[kwonitoy]

12 hours ago, DrJack54 said:

Oh someone with first hand experience with Thai lawyers.

Great. So name one. 

I'm sure the OP can obtain an appointment quickly..

I know of two Thai lawyers, one very good and one excellent.

One handled my custody procedure for my son, successfully. I have full Parental Powers which is the correct term in Thai law.

The second one handled my divorce, also very much in my favor as I didn't pay my ex one satang.

DM if you want his contact details and you can contact him immediately. 

[GinBoy2]

So all in all this is a crappy situation.

 

You are some kind of digital nomad, so you don't have to live in Thailand if things go totally South.

 

Now your child. This is obviously a little trickier. 

 

Now I'm not in anything like your position, but to this day I regret my decision to move to Thailand with our son from Singapore. My Thai wife begged me that we should move directly from Singapore to the US, but stubborn ass that I am, thought retirement in Thailand was best, not thinking about our son. For us it worked out, our son ended up in the US, and we followed him.

 

So, for you think what you want for your child. Mom is gonna be an issue regardless, but experience of Thai mothers tends to make me think they are prepared to dump their children faster than dropping a pair of dirty underwear if it suits them.

 

So, if you want to get your kid out of Thailand and back to the West, now would be the time.

 

Hopefully you are on the child's birth certificate, come up with some financial agreement with the Mother to give you full custody, then get the the Hell Outta Dodge

[ubonjoe]

11 hours ago, Our Man in the Tropics said:

Irrespective of birth parent's personal relationship with the other birth parent of the child,- it is an extra benefit for either, & indeed both, & also the child, to get "Legitimization of Parenthood" Certificate granted by Amphoe Registry-Office where child is registered as living.

If u cannot get cooperation from other parent to get from respective Amphoe Registry-Office,- u may apply through the local court.

I think that Legitimization of Parenthood can only be applied for when child is 7 years or older ;

Perhaps other Asean Now posters will confirm & elaborate or correct on this point.

The legitimization of parenthood is only need it if not married to the mother of the child. If married after birth of the child that makes them legal parent.

Prior to the age of 7 (less at some Amphoes) the legitimization has to be done by way of a family court.

You should read this pinned topic on the family and children forum. 

 

 

[kingstonkid]

18 hours ago, DrJack54 said:

I laugh at these posts.

Most will think this next bit is made up. It's not. 

Just now received messenger from Oz friend haven't heard from in years. Cut to chase.

His now x wife just cut him after building house (her land obviously) and having child now 10.

The x just basically stated that she only married for house and to have child....

He recently had parents over from Oz and my friend paid 1000aud just so his parents could see his daughter for her birthday.

etc etc. 

The OP is welcome to pm.

 

These posts of "get a good lawyer" are Dreamworld stuff. 

 

555  I get a kick out of people that use others as an example of the worst even though it has nothing to do with the post.

 

The OP is looking to find out how he can say involved in his child's life and stay in the country.

 

He does not state anything about a house and hopefully he did not do that as everyone knows that that is a bad idea.

 

BTW I am helping the GF buy a house but my lawyer has made sure there are protections for me.  I have taken his advice and worst case scenario is that I am out the mortgage payments which are cheaper than rent in Bangkok  (10k a month for a garden home)

 

Any info that op gets here is just us speaking as to legal outlook.

 

[kingstonkid]

15 hours ago, Isaanlife said:

In his 30's maybe he can't afford one?

 

Most lawyers have a free consultation meeting.  They will advise him of what to do and what it would cost as well as if it is winnable in the FREE consultation.

[Our Man in the Tropics]

6 hours ago, ubonjoe said:

The legitimization of parenthood is only needed it if not married to the mother of the child. If married after birth of the child that makes them legal parent.

Prior to the age of 7 (less at some Amphoes) the legitimization has to be done by way of a family court.

You should read this pinned topic on the family and children forum. 

 

 

Hi ubonjoe,

 

That which u say is very helpful info. ;

 

The 1st item I did not know ;

However,- I daresay that there is many the marriage where the only child[ren] is[are] of the Thai wife prior to her marriage to the foreign man.

I reckon if the foreign man is good parent & agreeable with such child[ren],- it may be in the interest of all that he be legitimized as a parent [ but subject to other birth parent ( male ) consenting ].

Herein,- I presuming that such legitimization of parenthood is not automatic, & thus must be applied for.

Perhaps,- the court is the only avenue for that scenario ?

 

Of course,- the original poster's circumstance is that he is the father of the child, & he is married to the mother.

So,- that assist which I recommended is not relevant to his particular situation.

 

I will study that pinned topic that u give.

 

Regards,

 

Our Man in the Tropics

[ubonjoe]

8 minutes ago, Our Man in the Tropics said:

I reckon if the foreign man is good parent & agreeable with such child[ren],- it may be in the interest of all that he be legitimized as a parent [ but subject to other birth parent ( male ) consenting ].

Herein,- I presuming that such legitimization of parenthood is not automatic, & thus must be applied for.

Perhaps,- the court is the only avenue for that scenario ?

In the case of a Thai being the legal father of a child the only option would be to adopt them with the father's consent.

Legitimization is only needed if the parents were not married.

[Our Man in the Tropics]

20 minutes ago, ubonjoe said:

In the case of a Thai being the legal father of a child the only option would be to adopt them with the father's consent.

Legitimization is only needed if the parents were not married.

Thanks again, ubobjoe, for very helpful info.

 

Regards,

 

Our Man in the Tropics

[GrandPapillon]

16 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

Mom is gonna be an issue regardless, but experience of Thai mothers tends to make me think they are prepared to dump their children faster than dropping a pair of dirty underwear if it suits them.

amen to that, never forget this.

[Albert Zweistein]

On 1/24/2022 at 7:29 AM, Chris.B said:

If the Op pays maintenance towards the child, then why should the wife be uncooperative?

 

Because she's female.