My unusual relationship and girlfriend

[sniper]

3 years ago I started talking to a girl online, I live in Ireland, I don’t know what I was expecting but I am very straight when chatting online, I don’t pretend and I don’t talk disrespectfully, I only chat in a very casual manner, I never lead girls on with false nonsense. Anyway we chatted on and off for 2 years initially, she had a very different manner and attitude to other girls, not the usual boring chatting template that most girls have and which quickly becomes hard to sustain interest. I was not free to travel at the time due to my sick father then covid shut down travel for almost 2 years, we had long periods of several months where we didn’t talk but she always got back in contact with me and I came to believe that this girl is really committed because she never forgot about me after over 2 years of on and off contact, exactly 1 year ago we started talking again and I felt that there is something special between us so I basically opened my heart and we agreed to be in a relationship even though we had never met and couldn’t due to the travel restrictions. I would never have considered an internet romance before but this girl won Me over because I felt that after 2.5 years of communication that there was a bond of sorts between us. I could never sustain any chat with any other girl for more than about 3 days before. This girl is 37 and I’m 12 years older, she doesn’t speak English but I have fairly good Thai and I can read fluently so communication between us is easy. She is a manager in a convenience store in the suburbs of Bangkok. We finally met in November last year and in person she is actually very lovely, lots of good personality qualities, not pretentious and not interested in luxury things, she has a very good attitude to most issues, she is very small in height but has a fierce no nonsense straight talking character, her bosses are even half afraid of her. she is from issan so a poor background. I only visited her for 10 days first time and then another 8 days last month, i am back home again now, I feel that I have really fallen for her even though it’s a difficult situation being a long distance relationship, something that I never thought was a good idea. 
what is unusual about her is that I never talked sweet or showed interest in romance over the first 2.5 years of our on off chats but she never forgot about me and always made the effort to contact me, she would get annoyed with me always because of my lack of interest, it was a funny relationship we had because something kept us both coming back together, hard to explain the feeling but I felt a bond with her all the time and she was very cute in my eyes so I was always keen to meet her eventually. She is a bit of a loner in some ways and has a very strong and independent personality, she doesn’t go out but does like to drink alone in her room sometimes. She never lies to me, I have never doubted her sincerity about us which is unusual, because she is always very transparent about what she is doing and where she is, and is always contactable 24 hr/day, she is devoted and committed to us, almost in an obsessive way, this girl is not standard beautiful but is quite pretty and has no problem getting male attention but she was not desperate to meet anyone and was willing to wait for a good connection with someone. She had 1 son 12 years ago and split with the father when the child was born, he was a lovely guy but she didn’t love him, they lived in a nice house in Bangkok and he was from a well off Thai Chinese family but she didn’t want to settle for a comfortable loveless marriage, in the 10 years after that she only dated one guy but had a bad experience which scared her off meeting anyone until I came along. I find her totally believable and honest and I am the most sceptical person alive.

She acts up and has her tantrums fairly regularly about my personal situation because I am going through a divorce here and she picks fights with me over this issue regularly, I think that it’s her insecurity that causes her to act up this way, she will stop talking to me for a day or two and threaten to end our relationship but always calms down. So we have this rollercoaster relationship where we are lovely for a week or two then we have these same fights again and again over the same issue. 

I never imagined that I would find this type of bond with someone, I feel that we really are good together in a way that I never experienced in any other relationship before, the feeling is that this is the person I should have met 20 years ago. I am hoping that when my divorce is finalised that she will have no reason to feel insecure anymore and then no more tantrums, I don’t know where the relationship will go in the future but it’s been a whirlwind in my life since I met her because she is the most important girl that I ever connected with. She is incredibly affectionate and lovely as well as having a very strong no nonsense personality. She does cause me some stress with the tantrums but she is incredibly devoted to me and very honest, I have never felt so loved by any girl before and her devotion is what won me over, but that’s a double edged sword because it’s been a serious distraction in my usual life and  I am now vulnerable to hurt if one of these tantrums are the end of us, I really don’t think that I could find another relationship like this because a lot of Thai faring relationships are a bit more of an arrangement where the girl just wants a good stable man to take care of her and she takes care of him but she will not really love him like a crazy teenager, a bit soulless really.

it all started from a casual hello on a dating site 3.5 years ago and I was expecting nothing more than the usual standard conversation that gets boring quickly, but this has been some adventure for me so far, that’s what makes life interesting I suppose, this is the first time in my life that I feel a genuine warm affectionate bond with someone, I hope that our story continues long in the future. 
 

 

[FritsSikkink]

If you don't speak for months, you don't have a romantic relationship.

[Pique Dard]

"...but I have fairly good Thai and I can read fluently so..."

i conclude you know thailand and thai girl mentality - or whatever- .by reading your message, it's obvious you are in love, that is why telling you to be careful would be a waste of time. so good luck!

[ThaiPauly]

Why are you telling us all this?

 

What do you expect us to say?

 

You are in a relationship with a Thai girl.....as are 90% of readers of this forum, and we all have different types of relationships...but we dont come on TV to tell all and sundry about it

[HighPriority]

1/ Paragraphs are your friend.

2/ I like ice cream.

[tonray]

55 minutes ago, sniper said:

in the 10 years after that she only dated one guy but had a bad experience which scared her off meeting anyone until I came along. I find her totally believable and honest and I am the most sceptical person alive.

She acts up and has her tantrums fairly regularly

You have got to be kidding me....

[HighPriority]

4 minutes ago, tonray said:

You have got to be kidding me....

No, it’s true, she’s different…

 

????????

[Guest Isaanlife]

I married a girl from Isaan and we have never had so much as 1 argument in 14 years.

 

You have already talked yourself into this relationship void of any and all red flags.

 

To think you can have a relationship with someone you have seen face to face for 18 days is foolish thinking.

 

Poor Isaan woman. 1 kid. aged out. Definitely not what people are looking for except desperate farang's.

 

She knows she has no other chance to get married or she already would be if she was such a good catch and has you hook, line, and sinker.

 

Are you currently married to a Thai in Ireland that you are getting divorced from?

 

If you are not, how do explain speaking and reading Thai?

 

The fact you don't even live together and are squabbling, any sane man would be running for the hills.

 

But not you. Oh no. You are different! Yes Sir you are special! You are in love. There is no one else for you except the one gal NO ONE else would ever think about getting married to.

 

Sell up and move to be with your Love.

 

Before you even begin to think you are getting started, we will find you probably broke and kicked to the curb.

 

You found the one gal that no one else wants to due to her age, having a kid, being poor, etc. 

 

Forest Gump use to say "Stupid is as Stupid Does"

 

If you actually lived in Thailand and were not broke, being able to speak Thai and read Thai as you claim, you would have your choice of a bunch of lovely ladies with NO BAGGAGE!

 

You my friend are NOT her first love, and the fact you are arguing before even living together would cause most men with a brain to run away fast.

 

Heartbreak Hotel Dead Ahead!

[Paulaew]

I liked the detail about the poor Issan girl who married the well off Chinese-Thai guy and they lived in a nice house in Bangkok. Except that they split when the child was born.

 

They couldn't meet because of Covid travel restrictions and his sick father. But they met twice. But just for 10 days (because the Phuket sandbox required 7 days in Phuket).

 

It's not even a good story, let alone a credible one.

 

Paul Laew

 

 

[WEBBYB808]

Dude!  Do you hear yourself?  You are getting a divorce  and think you are ready to get into a relationship  already!  No!  You are vulnerable  and should at least play the field a year or so and explore once divorced.  You've spent a little more than three weeks with this lady, so you reeally don't know her, or what its like living with her.  Video chats are fine if thats what you really want to do the rest of your life.  You speak Thai and read  so you must know that the culture  is really its own brand of life, unique and not the same anywhere  else  on the planet

  All women and humans can be manipulative, are you sure you want to be divorced  and jumping  into a relationship with a lady who already gets angry at you over lifes little issues?  There are millions  of ladies in Thailand and more women then men coupled with many men choosing to be lady boys or gay, so the women are looking for security  you certainly  can find many ladies that will treat you the same as this one.  Another reader responded  that you seem knowledgeable  enough  of Thai life that giving advice is fruitless, but I say to you 2 things:  1.  You obviously  have your doubts already or you wouldn't be sending out feelers for opinions, so you should severe move on and spend time with many ladies in Thailand if thats your desire, then choose.  2.  You are just getting out of a divorce.   Only a madman, one who's insecure. or feeling desperate, would be getting a divorce  and jumping right back into a committed relationship.   

 

There are plenty ladies who don't drink alone in thier room, and I never seen one Thai drink alone.  You really should take time after a divorce. 

[Ralf001]

16 minutes ago, Isaanlife said:

Are you currently married to a Thai in Ireland that you are getting divorced from?

 

If you are not, how do explain speaking and reading Thai?

The Thai wife stole his son, I assume now divorced.

 

https://aseannow.com/topic/1015443-child-abduction/

 

[bbko]

1 minute ago, Ralf001 said:

The Thai wife stole his son, I assume now divorced.

 

https://aseannow.com/topic/1015443-child-abduction/

 

No shortage of eye raising stories from the OP.

[4MyEgo]

This could be a Mills & Boon best seller as it had me in suspense NOT.

 

4 hours ago, sniper said:

I never lead girls on with false nonsense.

Good for you.

 

4 hours ago, sniper said:

Anyway we chatted on and off for 2 years initially, she had a very different manner and attitude to other girls, not the usual boring chatting template that most girls have and which quickly becomes hard to sustain interest.

Uh ha see my comments further below.

 

4 hours ago, sniper said:

we had long periods of several months where we didn’t talk but she always got back in contact with me and I came to believe that this girl is really committed because she never forgot about me after over 2 years of on and off contact,

Uh ha.

 

4 hours ago, sniper said:

I basically opened my heart and we agreed to be in a relationship even though we had never met and couldn’t due to the travel restrictions. I would never have considered an internet romance before but this girl won Me over because I felt that after 2.5 years of communication that there was a bond of sorts between us. I

Uh ha.

 

4 hours ago, sniper said:

We finally met in November last year and in person she is actually very lovely, lots of good personality qualities, not pretentious and not interested in luxury things, she has a very good attitude to most issues, she is very small in height but has a fierce no nonsense straight talking character,

Uh ha.

 

4 hours ago, sniper said:

She had 1 son 12 years ago and split with the father when the child was born, he was a lovely guy but she didn’t love him, they lived in a nice house in Bangkok and he was from a well off Thai Chinese family but she didn’t want to settle for a comfortable loveless marriage,

If you know anything about Thai culture, Bangkokians loath the poor Issan people, sounds more like one of the many Thai soapy that would be a dream come true for her.

 

4 hours ago, sniper said:

in the 10 years after that she only dated one guy but had a bad experience which scared her off meeting anyone until I came along. I find her totally believable and honest and I am the most sceptical person alive.

You mean your gullible.

 

4 hours ago, sniper said:

She is a bit of a loner in some ways and has a very strong and independent personality, she doesn’t go out but does like to drink alone in her room sometimes. She never lies to me, I have never doubted her sincerity about us which is unusual, because she is always very transparent about what she is doing and where she is, and is always contactable 24 hr/day,

Uh ha.

 

4 hours ago, sniper said:

she is devoted and committed to us, almost in an obsessive way, this girl is not standard beautiful but is quite pretty and has no problem getting male attention but she was not desperate to meet anyone and was willing to wait for a good connection with someone.

Sure, sure, sure.

 

4 hours ago, sniper said:

She acts up and has her tantrums fairly regularly about my personal situation because I am going through a divorce here and she picks fights with me over this issue regularly, I think that it’s her insecurity that causes her to act up this way, she will stop talking to me for a day or two and threaten to end our relationship but always calms down

And your ok with this, Jesus, if I ever saw a red flag, this is it. Probably why she is still single as well.

 

4 hours ago, sniper said:

So we have this rollercoaster relationship where we are lovely for a week or two then we have these same fights again and again over the same issue. 

The start to a healthy relationship for you then, r u fkn serious ?

 

4 hours ago, sniper said:

I never imagined that I would find this type of bond with someone, I feel that we really are good together in a way that I never experienced in any other relationship before, the feeling is that this is the person I should have met 20 years ago.

You obviously have no idea what you are getting into, wait till you want to go out, or even look at another woman, game over.

 

4 hours ago, sniper said:

I am hoping that when my divorce is finalised that she will have no reason to feel insecure anymore and then no more tantrums, I don’t know where the relationship will go in the future but it’s been a whirlwind in my life since I met her because she is the most important girl that I ever connected with.

Sounds like you have a very low self esteem.

 

4 hours ago, sniper said:

She is incredibly affectionate and lovely as well as having a very strong no nonsense personality. She does cause me some stress with the tantrums but she is incredibly devoted to me and very honest, I have never felt so loved by any girl before and her devotion is what won me over, but that’s a double edged sword because it’s been a serious distraction in my usual life and  I am now vulnerable to hurt if one of these tantrums are the end of us,

I can't wait to hear about the other side of her, but not before I vomit. Ah the the darker side which you have already failed to see, you really have no idea what you are getting into, this black widow has really wrapped you up in her web, just wait for the sting when she has got what she wants from you mate.

 

4 hours ago, sniper said:

I am now vulnerable to hurt if one of these tantrums are the end of us, I really don’t think that I could find another relationship like this because a lot of Thai faring relationships are a bit more of an arrangement where the girl just wants a good stable man to take care of her and she takes care of him but she will not really love him like a crazy teenager, a bit soulless really.

Wow, all of a sudden you have become an expert on women, especially Thai women. All women want security, it's a trade off, just for the record, my wife of 15 years loves me like a crazy teenager and guess what, doesn't break my balls, yeh, guess your right, she's only in it for the money, but hey, the world is just one big stage isn't it and personally if she is acting, which I doubt, I love it, no brain damage, no insecurities and great sex, what more could a bloke want from a women, ah, cooking skills which she has too ????

 

4 hours ago, sniper said:

it all started from a casual hello on a dating site 3.5 years ago and I was expecting nothing more than the usual standard conversation that gets boring quickly, but this has been some adventure for me so far, that’s what makes life interesting I suppose, this is the first time in my life that I feel a genuine warm affectionate bond with someone, I hope that our story continues long in the future. 

I suppose if I can meet a women in a bar and then be really happily married to her, then there is hope for you, but I doubt it, because I would have ditched yours as soon as I saw all of the red flags.

 

Please do send us out the wedding invites, on second thoughts don't, but will I say I wish you well, of course that would be the least I could say, but I won't, I will give you my non nonsense (your words) approach, move on as quick as you can, it's just another woman with baggage, you have to sift through them all till you find the right one, in other words you have nothing in common with her and as she is the stronger of the two, you are going to end up as burn toast. 

Edited February 11, 2022 by 4MyEgo

[bkk6060]

3 hours ago, Isaanlife said:

married a girl from Isaan and we have never had so much as 1 argument in 14 years.

Arguments and disagreements seem to be a healthy part of any relationship usually shows people are communicating by expressing their opinions, feelings and differences. 

But wow, good for you sounds so perfect.

[DaLa]

She's playing the long game, and those girls are the most expensive eventually. She sound ok though; if it doesn't work out for you send me her phone number.

[Hummin]

6 hours ago, tonray said:

You have got to be kidding me....

How many times have we heard version on the same story? 
 

Some is proud to think her lady is clean, or almost clean, but all Im thinking of, how boring sex life would be. 
 

Should have made book about all the different frazes thai girls say for some reasons to please their new potential bf. 
 

I never do that

Never been with a Thai man

Dont like Thai Men

You not Old 

Have not been with a man and are 40 years old, while her sister had loads

 

It helps with the right tint on your glasses.

 

[Hummin]

5 minutes ago, DaLa said:

She's playing the long game, and those girls are the most expensive eventually. She sound ok though; if it doesn't work out for you send me her phone number.

As long it makes him happy in the moment, why not? 
 

Is like spending your savings in Vegas, you are happy,,,,,,,,,,,,, for short moment, and someone do get the jackpot, right? Could be him this time.

 

 

I feel I got the jackpot, but it have taken me 5 years to realize it, and still do not dear to believe it yet. But so far so good, still on deep water, and time will show. 
 

 

Edited February 11, 2022 by Hummin

[Polar Bear]

A 37 year old woman who throws tantrums. Why would anyone sign up for this nonsense?

[RandiRona]

I cant give you any new advice more than the professors of Thailogy has given you above. Only ask you to not invest much financially in this relationship, atleast not initially and leave an exit door open.

Best of luck to whatever you end up doing!

Remember no one is indispensable!!!

 

 

[Farmerslife]

OP you obviously have your own doubts but if you've came on here expecting some reassurance from this bunch of cynics you're onto a hiding to nothing.???? 

By your own admission she drinks alone in her room, sometimes goes absent and throws tantrums. On that basis it sounds as if she would not be easy to live with. Do you feel up to that challenge?

Only you can decide how you proceed but, for your sake do it  with caution, head over heart.

Good luck, fella.

[BritManToo]

6 hours ago, sniper said:

She is a manager in a convenience store in the suburbs of Bangkok.

Did you visit the store while she was working?

Just wondering ...........

[BritManToo]

7 hours ago, sniper said:

She had 1 son 12 years ago and split with the father when the child was born, he was a lovely guy but she didn’t love him, they lived in a nice house in Bangkok and he was from a well off Thai Chinese family but she didn’t want to settle for a comfortable loveless marriage

Hmmmmmmm ............

Well off Thai Chinese don't allow their sons to marry Issan girls.

Her story sounds unlikely.

Edited February 11, 2022 by BritManToo

[BritManToo]

6 hours ago, sniper said:

She acts up and has her tantrums fairly regularly about my personal situation because I am going through a divorce here and she picks fights with me over this issue regularly, I think that it’s her insecurity that causes her to act up this way,

Sounds more like mental illness/Yaba to me.

[Ralf001]

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

How many times have we heard version on the same story? 
 

Some is proud to think her lady is clean, or almost clean, but all Im thinking of, how boring sex life would be. 
 

Should have made book about all the different frazes thai girls say for some reasons to please their new potential bf. 
 

I never do that

Never been with a Thai man

Dont like Thai Men

You not Old 

Have not been with a man and are 40 years old, while her sister had loads

 

It helps with the right tint on your glasses. Another good click bait on AN Former TV

 

The months of no contact.

 

she was off earning coin taking it up the blurter.

[clivebaxter]

5 hours ago, Isaanlife said:

I married a girl from Isaan and we have never had so much as 1 argument in 14 years.

 

You have already talked yourself into this relationship void of any and all red flags.

 

To think you can have a relationship with someone you have seen face to face for 18 days is foolish thinking.

 

Poor Isaan woman. 1 kid. aged out. Definitely not what people are looking for except desperate farang's.

 

She knows she has no other chance to get married or she already would be if she was such a good catch and has you hook, line, and sinker.

 

Are you currently married to a Thai in Ireland that you are getting divorced from?

 

If you are not, how do explain speaking and reading Thai?

 

The fact you don't even live together and are squabbling, any sane man would be running for the hills.

 

But not you. Oh no. You are different! Yes Sir you are special! You are in love. There is no one else for you except the one gal NO ONE else would ever think about getting married to.

 

Sell up and move to be with your Love.

 

Before you even begin to think you are getting started, we will find you probably broke and kicked to the curb.

 

You found the one gal that no one else wants to due to her age, having a kid, being poor, etc. 

 

Forest Gump use to say "Stupid is as Stupid Does"

 

If you actually lived in Thailand and were not broke, being able to speak Thai and read Thai as you claim, you would have your choice of a bunch of lovely ladies with NO BAGGAGE!

 

You my friend are NOT her first love, and the fact you are arguing before even living together would cause most men with a brain to run away fast.

 

Heartbreak Hotel Dead Ahead!

I married one from Issan and we must have had an argument almost every day for 17 years, never a dull moment. I think the last one was about her taking ages to get ready to go out as usual, takes all sorts.

[wprime]

Just a bit of relationship advice, girls love paragraphs - you should try using them.

 

17 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Hmmmmmmm ............

Well off Thai Chinese don't allow their sons to marry Issan girls.

Her story sounds unlikely.

This might be true in Thai soap operas 20 years ago but it has very little truth today.

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

7 hours ago, sniper said:

She acts up and has her tantrums fairly regularly about my personal situation because I am going through a divorce here and she picks fights with me over this issue regularly, I think that it’s her insecurity that causes her to act up this way, she will stop talking to me for a day or two and threaten to end our relationship but always calms down. So we have this rollercoaster relationship where we are lovely for a week or two then we have these same fights again and again over the same issue. 

 

I ain't signing up for THAT!

 

Wonder why anyone would?

[spidermike007]

Did I miss something here? You have been in a "relationship" with someone you have never met? Huh? Sorry. Zero comprehension. 

[1FinickyOne]

7 hours ago, sniper said:

I hope that our story continues long in the future. 

it sure went on pretty long here... 

 

Tantrums are likely some form of mental instability and that can get old fast. [and worse] ... though it seems you might enjoy it and it puts some drama in your life. Do you think you will still enjoy this when the tantrums escalate as you are likely enabling and encouraging them? 

 

best of luck to you - - maybe you have some sort of interlocking neurosis that you both enjoy? 

[1FinickyOne]

48 minutes ago, clivebaxter said:

I married one from Issan and we must have had an argument almost every day for 17 years, never a dull moment. I think the last one was about her taking ages to get ready to go out as usual, takes all sorts.

and two of them