My wife left me indefinitely to become a prostitute, what legal action can I take?

[keysersoze276]

How embarrassing to write this, but here it goes.  My wife (Thai) and I went out to a nice dinner with plans to get a massage afterward.  There was no argument or anything.  Then in the middle of dinner she says her two female friends want to meet her/us there and get massages.  I don't know them and didn't care.  It was probably 11pm when they arrived, so I told her she can go with them to get massages, as it may be hard to find a professional massage place with four masseuses (Huay Kwang, Bangkok).  She asked for 10,000 baht, which I don't understand.  She said for the massage and a grab car home.  She promised to come home that night and didn't.  Sent me a message asking if she could stay with her friends and come home in the morning.  I said ok.  Then the next morning she said she was staying in a hotel and partying with her friends in BKK (She almost never drinks).  Then returned home (here), four days later.  Everything was fine, but I was pretty <deleted> at her for blowing money on a hotel and whatever else she was doing with her "friends".  A week later, she got wasted at home, started a big fight (she is crazy when she does drink), so bad to the point I left. Then she stole 20,000 baht from my office, went to stay with her female friends, rent free.

 

Her side of the story is I drink too much and am too controlling.  Both are true, but I quit drinking completely a week ago and you guys know how at least some Thai girls are.  They need to be controlled because they act like irresponsible children.

 

Then she told me she won't come home and will live with her friends and got a job working with them at a sex shop!  The ultimate betrayal, but I do love her and told her I would forgive her if she comes home (go ahead, call me a sucker in the comments if you wish, but this is way out of her character and she is drinking heavily with friends every night).  

 

She said she would come home last Tuesday and then cancelled.  Then came home this Tuesday and I apologized for my drinking (I admit I can be a mean drunk sometimes), and anything else I did that would cause her to betray me like this.  She says it is easy money (I'm not rich, but I provide her with everything she needs and occasional getaways or whatever).  She had only been here three days and went back with her whore friends to be a whore yesterday.  And she wants her freedom and to build her own future and we can be together one day.

 

HELL NO!  I told her if she went back to her friends and sex shop and hanging out in clubs getting drunk and picking up customers that I want a divorce.  I printed out a Simple Divorce agreement since don't have any real assets, no children, nothing like that.  She burst into tears but finally started writing on the document, said she made a mistake, crossed it out and refused to sign the other one (I printed two in Thai and two in English).  I have done a little research and adultery in Thailand is grounds for divorce AND illegal.  I haven't found what the penalty could be yet.  A wife working as a prostitute (also illegal) in a sex parlor...<deleted>?  Does anyone have ideas about what I can do? 

 

PS>. Thanks for reading this far and note that I don't know where she lives or works.  Would it be permissible to post her photo on here or somewhere like fb to see if anyone has seen her?  Do I need to prove where she works even though I have LINE messages of her admitting it several times?  Can I take legal action?  I'm spinning and don't know what to do.  We've been together seven years and this is beyond anything I imagined happening.  

[Swiss1960]

1. Talk to a lawyer. 

2. You posting her pic here ir anywhere else without her consent is illegal under the new Thai data privacy act and will land YOU in trouble.

[thaibeachlovers]

28 minutes ago, keysersoze276 said:

you guys know how at least some Thai girls are.  They need to be controlled because they act like irresponsible children.

I'm not surprised she left if that's how you think.

 

I doubt there is any legal action you can take other than divorce.

[orchis]

best of luck to both ????

[keysersoze276]

41 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I'm not surprised she left if that's how you think.

 

1.  I said at least some.  I did not bash all Thai women.  My wife is completely irresponsible with work, money, , spending and obviously marriage.  I have been on this forum long enough to know that many feel the same.
2.  At least I gave her side of the story and admitted the problem of drinking too much.

3.  I am devastated enough that you can rub all the salt on the wound as you like.

[Jerno]

Your a self proclaimed mean drunkard.  Wives really go that kind of man.  Sheesh!  No matter what she does on her own now, shes better off  than suffering under your thumb.  She is the wise one, and you need professional psychological help.  

[DrJack54]

11 minutes ago, Jerno said:

Your a self proclaimed mean drunkard.  Wives really go that kind of man.  Sheesh!  No matter what she does on her own now, shes better off  than suffering under your thumb.  She is the wise one, and you need professional psychological help.  

You are 100% on the money.

The best thing the woman in question can do is ...."run Forest run"

The OP reads as a wind up.

How did she last this long.

Clearly an over controlling over drinking and self proclaimed "mean when drunk" 

[rankric]

Keeper

[bkk6060]

 

7 minutes ago, rankric said:

Keeper

Him or her?

[RichardColeman]

2 hours ago, keysersoze276 said:

Her side of the story is I drink too much and am too controlling.  Both are true, but I quit drinking completely a week ago and you guys know how at least some Thai girls are.  They need to be controlled because they act like irresponsible children.

Speak for yourself mate, my wife does not need controlling.

 

As for her leaving you, I think you drove her to it by your own admission. Stating you gave up drinking only a week ago after 'probable' countless years of it and that your 'control her' would make little difference to the damage already done by yourself. Seems to me she wants out because of you, nobody else. Maybe you drove her to this 'new career' by your selfishness, and now she wants a new life - not one you approve of. 

 

Get the divorce and learn from your mistakes - not hers

[KIngsofisaan]

1 hour ago, keysersoze276 said:

1.  I said at least some.  I did not bash all Thai women.  My wife is completely irresponsible with work, money, , spending and obviously marriage.  I have been on this forum long enough to know that many feel the same.
2.  At least I gave her side of the story and admitted the problem of drinking too much.

3.  I am devastated enough that you can rub all the salt on the wound as you like.

You already admitted you are a drunk.

 

What you didn't admit is you probably have been a drunk forever, a mean, nasty drunk and what you do offer your wife is not enough to offset your mean and nasty demeanor.

 

What exactly do you expect anyone to say?

 

If being a prostitute is better than being with you, you need to take a hard look in the mirror at yourself?

 

Thai women deserve, yes I said deserve, to have some expectations from a marriage.

 

What from I bet, you have been mean and nasty to her for years and she has put up with for little to nothing.

 

She deserves better and she has probably hit the breaking point where she finally has a way out and understands you will never change and have had enough for her.

 

Thai women aren't slaves. They are not there be to be verbally abused. They are human beings that deserve love and kindness.

 

It sounds to me like you cannot handle your own personal misery, get drunk and take it out on her.

 

Now you want to get a lawyer?

 

You don't deserve any woman behaving like that.

 

Do her a favor and let her go.

 

Drown your sorrow in the booze and ruin yourself, no one else.

 

Any man that cannot be a man, I have no self-pity for.

[keysersoze276]

28 minutes ago, Jerno said:

Your a self proclaimed mean drunkard.  Wives really go that kind of man.  Sheesh!  No matter what she does on her own now, shes better off  than suffering under your thumb.  She is the wise one, and you need professional psychological help.  

You know nothing about me.  What I meant is I can lose my temper easier if 

i am drunk, which is fairly common for a lot of people.  I didn't mean I was a wife beater.  And I didn't mean I am mean and nasty anytime I had a drink.

 

i am finished with alcohol now, so your point is moot.  The only regret I have is admitting my own faults on this post because these kind of comments are not helpful..  But as I said to the other fella, you can bash me and rub salt on the wound.  I am beyond devastated already.  And why would I need professional psychological help?  Anyway, thanks for your advice

[steven100]

she want's out .....    I say '  RUN FORREST RUN   !!   you'll be better off by the sounds of it.

 

Thousands more out there better than her .....    why not get a supermarket cashier.

[keysersoze276]

6 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

Speak for yourself mate, my wife does not need controlling.

 

As for her leaving you, I think you drove her to it by your own admission. Stating you gave up drinking only a week ago after 'probable' countless years of it and that your 'control her' would make little difference to the damage already done by yourself. Seems to me she wants out because of you, nobody else. Maybe you drove her to this 'new career' by your selfishness, and now she wants a new life - not one you approve of. 

 

Get the divorce and learn from your mistakes - not hers

Ok, I definitely wrote this wrong or you guys just like to kick people while they are down.  I said that was her side of the story and it is partly true when she is constantly late for work, can't keep a job, Runs out of money all the time buying things she never needs or uses, then I complain and encourage her to do better.  
P.S.  I am speaking for myself, mate.  Glad you found a nice, responsible wife.  Kudos.

[keysersoze276]

2 minutes ago, steven100 said:

she want's out .....    I say '  RUN FORREST RUN   !!   you'll be better off by the sounds of it.

 

Thousands more out there better than her .....    why not get a supermarket cashier.

Yeah, I hear you.  But they all wear masks!  555.  Also, she doesn't want out.  She said she will come back in a month or two.  She wants to make quick cash and spend it all at clubs getting hammered every night.  I am the one that wants out.  She won't sign the divorce papers.  Thanks for a decent reply!

[keysersoze276]

16 minutes ago, KIngsofisaan said:

You already admitted you are a drunk.

 

What you didn't admit is you probably have been a drunk forever, a mean, nasty drunk and what you do offer your wife is not enough to offset your mean and nasty demeanor.

 

What exactly do you expect anyone to say?

 

If being a prostitute is better than being with you, you need to take a hard look in the mirror at yourself?

 

Thai women deserve, yes I said deserve, to have some expectations from a marriage.

 

What from I bet, you have been mean and nasty to her for years and she has put up with for little to nothing.

 

She deserves better and she has probably hit the breaking point where she finally has a way out and understands you will never change and have had enough for her.

 

Thai women aren't slaves. They are not there be to be verbally abused. They are human beings that deserve love and kindness.

 

It sounds to me like you cannot handle your own personal misery, get drunk and take it out on her.

 

Now you want to get a lawyer?

 

You don't deserve any woman behaving like that.

 

Do her a favor and let her go.

 

Drown your sorrow in the booze and ruin yourself, no one else.

 

Any man that cannot be a man, I have no self-pity for.

Thanks for all of your assumptions.

[BritManToo]

You didn't mention how old you both are?

Anyway, stuff like this happens in Thailand, don't blame yourself.

I know loads off guys that had the same (or worse) happen.

[JeffersLos]

3 hours ago, Swiss1960 said:

2. You posting her pic here ir anywhere else without her consent is illegal under the new Thai data privacy act and will land YOU in trouble.

Sending it to me via PM is absolutely fine though. 

[OneMoreFarang]

3 hours ago, keysersoze276 said:

I'm not rich, but I provide her with everything she needs and occasional getaways or whatever

And she prefers being a prostitute with many guys instead of being a prostitute only for one.

Maybe you should ask yourself: why? And think primary about yourself.

For me it seems you deserve what you got.

I wish her good luck.

[redwood1]

This sounds like a all around healthy relationship....Perfect for Jerry Springer.....

[HighPriority]

3 hours ago, Swiss1960 said:

1. Talk to a lawyer. 

2. You posting her pic here ir anywhere else without her consent is illegal under the new Thai data privacy act and will land YOU in trouble.

But he can send the pics and her number to me by PM ????

[Fat is a type of crazy]

Play this up loud, dust yourself off, keep off the booze and wait and see if you can get her to sign the divorce further down the track. No assets or kids so no worries.

 

Tainted Love / Where Did Our Love Go (Extended Version / Medley) - YouTube

 

[OneMoreFarang]

37 minutes ago, keysersoze276 said:

You know nothing about me.  What I meant is I can lose my temper easier if 

i am drunk, which is fairly common for a lot of people.  I didn't mean I was a wife beater.  And I didn't mean I am mean and nasty anytime I had a drink.

 

i am finished with alcohol now, so your point is moot.  The only regret I have is admitting my own faults on this post because these kind of comments are not helpful..  But as I said to the other fella, you can bash me and rub salt on the wound.  I am beyond devastated already.  And why would I need professional psychological help?  Anyway, thanks for your advice

That is one of those moments when we need this: 

 

You are so deep in your hole, and you don't even realize that you are the problem.

What else must happen before you ask yourself: Is it me? Should I have done things differently?

Should I talk to a professional to sort out my life because I obviously can't do it myself?

[2baht]

31 minutes ago, keysersoze276 said:

She wants to make quick cash and spend it all at clubs getting hammered every night. 

You were a drunk, now she's a drunk, you sound like the perfect couple, hang in there, she'll be rich when she comes back. ????

[OneMoreFarang]

34 minutes ago, steven100 said:

Thousands more out there better than her .....    why not get a supermarket cashier.

Background story: He tried already to get all those supermarket cashiers. Nobody wanted him, not even the old and ugly. ????

 

[daveAustin]

If you want to divorce fast, forget getting her to sign stuff etc but tell her you’ll give her 50k, or whatever, if she comes to the amphur with you for a no-catch divorce. As you say she wants to get back together in the future when she has money (yeah, right), perhaps also mention you can marry again in the future. 

[Ralf001]

She grew some balls and kicked the drunkard husband to the kerb.

 

Kudo's to her.

[steven100]

10 minutes ago, 2baht said:

You were a drunk, now she's a drunk, you sound like the perfect couple, hang in there, she'll be rich when she comes back. ????

he's a drunk,  now she's a drunk,  a match made in heaven ....  what could possibly go wrong  !

[ezzra]

I would, if i were you, keep quiet, enjoy the extra chsh she'll bringing home and find my senf another women on the side, win-win situation...

[HappyExpat57]

"indefinitely?"

 

My friend, she's gone for good.