Sinsod

[FriendlyFarang]

No, not the typical topic sinsod you might expect, I just wanted to share what made me laugh yesterday.

My girlfriends's family talked about sinsod with my girlfriend, and the question raised was: "How many million baht sinsod will he give?"

 

Not how much... but how many million... 555

They just failed to add "... and how many kilograms of gold?".

I guess I just pick some money from the money trees that we have in farang land.

[proton]

so how much will you give then?

[CharlieH]

Another "farang" viewed as a lottery win !

 

As I once said many years ago, it might be your custom, but it aint mine ! They got ZERO.????

[bkk6060]

I would give nothing to no one.  

[Gsxrnz]

I gave the Missus' family zilch sinsot.  But recently built my Gik a 3M Baht house.

 

It's important to get your priorities in order.  

[brianthainess]

9 minutes ago, FriendlyFarang said:

No, not the typical topic sinsod you might expect,

Sounds pretty typical to me. so what's your point ?

[2baht]

It's a good thing ALL farang are rich! ????

[FriendlyFarang]

17 minutes ago, proton said:

so how much will you give then?

At first I was thinking about offering 100k just to keep the family peace, but considering that they probably now have something like 5 million baht in their head, I guess they would never be happy with 100k, so I guess it will be 0 baht.

[sqwakvfr]

Wow.  It almost sounds like this could be an incompatible relationship with her family?  If they expect million(s) now then what about the future.  Did you consider asking this question: What would a Thai groom be expect to pay?  Would this question be considered as insulting? 

[prakhonchai nick]

4 minutes ago, sqwakvfr said:

Wow.  It almost sounds like this could be an incompatible relationship with her family?  If they expect million(s) now then what about the future.  Did you consider asking this question: What would a Thai groom be expect to pay?  Would this question be considered as insulting? 

Whatever a Thai groom might be expected to pay, out here in Isaan, in all likliehood, he would borrow it from a loan shark at 5%-10% a month, and the happy couple would then be indebted for years to come just so Mum and Dad can keep face..  Seen it happen many times out in the villages. Time to put an end to this ridiculous custom once and for all.

[OneMoreFarang]

That reminds me of a rich farang in Bangkok, he owned a couple of pubs.

He had a new girlfriend and he decided to marry her. And because he had lots of money, he offered 1 million THB sindod to the poor family.

They thought he has obviously too much money. And why should he pay only 1 million when he could easily afford 2 million. So they told him they want two million.

He could have easily afforded that money, but he walked away from that greedy family.

[ChrisP24]

Maybe offer something modest like 30k baht, that they can keep, or alternatively something much larger with the agreement that all of it will be "for show only" as proof that you can take care of your bride, and you take it home from the wedding ceremony.  And that support for the family will come after based on whatever criteria you want to set. A good family of course is worth supporting - - the elderly, the young with school expenses, etc.   And they will support you in return in other ways, to the degree that they can.  But for the freeloaders, nothing.

[OneMoreFarang]

Obviously it funny to joke about this, especially from our perspective.

But I wonder about the situation of those parents. Imagine they have a pretty daughter, and she marries a farang and then that farang doesn't pay big money.

Will that family be respected in the village without new pickup and all that?

Will the neighbors agree that true love counts, and money doesn't really matter? Or will everybody ask: How much did he give you?

I guess it's not so easy for some parents of those girls.

[FriendlyFarang]

10 minutes ago, sqwakvfr said:

Wow.  It almost sounds like this could be an incompatible relationship with her family?  If they expect million(s) now then what about the future.  Did you consider asking this question: What would a Thai groom be expect to pay?  Would this question be considered as insulting? 

Actually there was a bit sinsod talk in the past when I was present as well. Back then their words were more like "Give what you are comfortable with".

Yesterday was just between her family and my girlfriend, without me present. If I would ask them this question I wouldn't get a straight answer, but I guess it's simply: As much as they can get.

 

They probably assume that all farangs make a few million baht per month, and I should be comfortable to give them one month of my salary, or something like this...

[BananaStrong]

It’s partly a business, if partly means 99 percent 

400k to save money in Thailand on marriage visa.   
if in farangland, you might be a little happier but spend millions more.
sinsot is ok at the right number.  
since no guarantees and you can lose it all in a second….

go the 800k retirement route instead.

[Skallywag]

You have to pay enough sinsod to cover the money she would be making at a high class bar or gogo for the next 5 years...Unless you let her keep working and sending money home to family 5555

[carlyai]

2 Points on this topic.

1. I recently went to  Thai wedding where both are working, one as a large truck driver and one as a secretary.

Mum was given Baht and gold, about 1 Million Baht altogether.

2. My 80 year old Thai BIL just hooked up with a 75 year old girl. 

Paid her B100000.

So it's not just the Farangs that have to pay.

[FritsSikkink]

1 hour ago, CharlieH said:

Another "farang" viewed as a lottery win !

 

As I once said many years ago, it might be your custom, but it aint mine ! They got ZERO.????

Same here.

[FritsSikkink]

40 minutes ago, sqwakvfr said:

Wow.  It almost sounds like this could be an incompatible relationship with her family?  If they expect million(s) now then what about the future.  Did you consider asking this question: What would a Thai groom be expect to pay?  Would this question be considered as insulting? 

They just need a reality check, mine got nothing. I have a good relationship with most of them. I had some arguments over the years with a couple but don't take any sht and they respect me for that.

[scorecard]

40 minutes ago, sqwakvfr said:

Wow.  It almost sounds like this could be an incompatible relationship with her family?  If they expect million(s) now then what about the future.  Did you consider asking this question: What would a Thai groom be expect to pay?  Would this question be considered as insulting? 

I wonder what the gf has actually told her parents about the wealth of her farang bf?

 

To gain face has she told them 'he's extremely wealthy', and that's what's driving their request for several million. 

[FriendlyFarang]

15 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Obviously it funny to joke about this, especially from our perspective.

But I wonder about the situation of those parents. Imagine they have a pretty daughter, and she marries a farang and then that farang doesn't pay big money.

Will that family be respected in the village without new pickup and all that?

Will the neighbors agree that true love counts, and money doesn't really matter? Or will everybody ask: How much did he give you?

I guess it's not so easy for some parents of those girls.

Depends on the standing of the family I think, if it's a poor family, then what you say is probably true.

My girlfriend's family is not rich, but they are doing just fine, so in my opinion they could easily get away by saying "We are doing well by ourselves, we don't want their money, they should use it to build their future and they will support us when we don't work anymore" or something like that.

 

[hotandsticky]

4 minutes ago, scorecard said:

I wonder what the gf has actually told her parents about the wealth of her farang bf?

 

To gain face has she told them 'he's extremely wealthy', and that's what's driving their request for several million. 

 

 

"If you don't ask, you don't get"........I suspect that it is no more intelligent than that.

 

 

On the other hand, it is not unusual for a Farang to boast about/inflate their status...... after all, most bar dwellers in Pattaya sois 6/7/8 seem to be surgeons or airline pilots.

[FriendlyFarang]

5 minutes ago, scorecard said:

I wonder what the gf has actually told her parents about the wealth of her farang bf?

 

To gain face has she told them 'he's extremely wealthy', and that's what's driving their request for several million. 

This thought also crossed my mind, so I asked her this already, she says she didn't say something like that.

I've also been to her home a few times, usually wear clothes for a few hundred baht, we drive my girlfriend's car to go there, and they know we live in a rented house.

So it seems to be based on "being a farang" alone.

[In the jungle]

Ask them for the piece work rate.

[proton]

200k seems to be about right, as long as you get at least half back

[prakhonchai nick]

25 minutes ago, hotandsticky said:

 

 

"If you don't ask, you don't get"........I suspect that it is no more intelligent than that.

 

 

On the other hand, it is not unusual for a Farang to boast about/inflate their status...... after all, most bar dwellers in Pattaya sois 6/7/8 seem to be surgeons or airline pilots.

And more than a few gynecologists too ????

[scorecard]

11 minutes ago, FriendlyFarang said:

This thought also crossed my mind, so I asked her this already, she says she didn't say something like that.

I've also been to her home a few times, usually wear clothes for a few hundred baht, we drive my girlfriend's car to go there, and they know we live in a rented house.

So it seems to be based on "being a farang" alone.

Which certainly can be true. My son's wife has a loud mouthed mid aged meddling lady boy brother (no disrespect of gay folks meant). He knows everything, and insists that he knows everything about the law.

 

When my son and his now wife told her family they were going to get married ladyboy LB started trying to get himself involved, instantly telling my son he wanted  starting 'deposit' of 500,000Baht to arrange the wedding, a massive Chinese style banquet and more.

 

My son also discovered LB was making detailed notes of the names and ban account details of all relatives including 2nd cousins etc., etc. Son asked LB 'what are you doing?'

 

Response from LB ''Your father is a farang and all farang are very very rich with no limit on their money because the gov't of his country give every citizen 50,000Baht a month regardless of gender, age, working/not working and regardless of location and it includes all relatives". Son insisted 'not true'.

 

Son told LB 'I will call the xxx embassy on speakerphone and you can listen and I'll check if this is true.'

 

Son did call and of course embassy said 'not true. no such thing'.

 

LBs comment 'xxx embassy tells lies'.

 

Son confiscated the lists and told all concerned this is not true and at the same time said 'If LB tells you anything about my father you check with me'.  Also told them 'like most farang my father is not a rich man, the budget for my wedding will be quite small, 500,000Baht is not possible and my GF and I don't a wedding party like this.

 

 

[seajae]

when I married my wife I paid nothing, she owned 2 houses,  8 units, 2 cars and manages a large business, she wanted nothing from me(its called love), her relo's did but she refused. If you actually pay anything you are marrying for the wrong reasons, if she is really in love with you and not your money etc she will want nothing except you, her parents/famly can go play with themselves. The only ones after sinsod are money hungry a holes, you paying for the wedding etc and taking her off their hands is enough, tell them where they can stick their sinsod and you should tell them/her if there is any sinsod there is no marriage

[Kenny202]

2 hours ago, FriendlyFarang said:

At first I was thinking about offering 100k just to keep the family peace, but considering that they probably now have something like 5 million baht in their head, I guess they would never be happy with 100k, so I guess it will be 0 baht.

I have found with Isaan people no matter what you give it is never enough. Always ends up in disappointment and self loathing. Yours!. If the girl has any kids, previous husband, non educated or older no sinsot payable anyway. She probably cant cook, drive, take care of a home, work or even hold a decent conversation...and probably has no intention of doing these things. Haven't even got started to how you are going to be the financial solution to everyone of your new extended families money issues of which will be relentless. So you in essence are buying yourself a block of cement to tie around your neck. 

 

Sinsot is not only about what you are bringing to the table. You are meant to be getting something for your money. The more education / earning potential she has, the more family land you stand to inherit...the higher the sinsot

[Boomer6969]

We didn't have the stupid village marriage but I paid 800000 Bahts which allowed the ILs to get a decent house. I promised that if I survive that long we'll have some celebration at the "first booboom"  20th anniversary, which will be, roughly, the 15th anniversary of our legal wedding. 

 

But no more Sin sot.