Sinsod

[Salerno]

1 hour ago, puchooay said:

Why do people have to generalise so much?

I think it's called "projecting".

[JBChiangRai]

I have never married in Thailand and never will, I love being single.  Consequently, I have never paid Sinsod and never will.  Having been here 17 years (5 of them in Pattaya), there's not much I haven't seen.  Relationships that fail, relationships that work, guys who lose all their money, guys who are happy with fantastic Thai wives and those that think they have them and don't.  Put all those wives together on a girl's night out and they'll soon work out those that love their husbands and those that only love their husband's wallets, and oh boy! do they like to gossip!

 

I look at this from a parent's perspective.  As a single parent, I have adopted 2 Thai girls, one at 5 years old and her cousin at 8 years old, they are now 19 & 20 years old and both go to University, both have cars, a new house I bought for them to live in at University and my friends would say they are spoiled rotten.  I think they would also say, I've done a great job raising them and they are lovely kids, of course it's possible I am slightly biased ????

 

I want the best for them, obviously.  I want Sinsod paying, but it will be given to them, if necessary, I'll front the money for "Thai Face" sake.  I understand the groom's family pay for the wedding (phew, that's a relief) so the wedding can be as large as they want it, or if they are poor and I have to pay, as small as I want it.

 

I remember my Dad giving me the best advice ever, he said "Son, it's as easy to marry a rich girl as a poor girl, so marry the rich girl".  Why didn't I listen? the last 40 years could have been much easier...

 

 

[Elkski]

Sinsod always an interesting topic.  Timely thread as we will do our Thai wedding Jan 2.   Officially married in US for 18 months and she has hopefully seen the light during that time.  Yes we make so much more for our days labor but see has worked hard and seen how an  American man multitask and plans to maximize efficiency.  She has seen  money doesn't grow on trees.   And she sees how much it costs to live in USA. I thought I had squelched the sinsod topic but it has surfaced a bit last couple days here at moms house.  I'm not sure why.  

 

What's love got to do with it.  Who falls in love with Thai culture?  It was the shapely slim figure and skin tone and bright white smile.   

I thought the comment about wiping her self with her hands was timely for my our current situation and it's basically what I told her this morning.  Do you want to live here with those toilet conditions or in our beautiful house in USA? 

I do worry about some guests drinking to much and then thinking they can drive and having an accident on my conscious.   Taking the keys away or trying to stop serving someone probably not to go over so well.   Of course one of her dreams it to build a better modern house for mom but she sees how they take care of what they have.  They are happy and I think she sees that.   It's just this sinsod thing is cultivated as a measure of ones worth.   They read about the 5 million sinsods on FB or the news and it creates false desire just like brand names like Niki and iphone. 

I do have to say life in the village has similarities to a crude elk camp

Edited December 24, 2022 by Elkski

[thaibeachlovers]

20 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

If your future wife is reasonable and she can deal with parents (and other family members) like this, you might be on a winner. The ones that are the problem are the ones that want you to "loan" everyone that asks to save her the perceived embarrassment of refusal or just wants to avoid confrontation and your money is the solution. The villagers will all be baiting her up...you have farang and if you not loan them money you kie neow (tight a$$) or husband kie nok (bird shet), not have money. You need a wife can see through this and strong enough to say no.

 

Word to the wise also. Not sure on your circumstances but would strongly recommend not living in the home village for at least 2 or 3 years until you get the lay of the land. Not sure on your girl background etc but a lot of temptations and history re gambling, old boy friends etc and you wont even know. People walking in and out day and night...particularly meal times. Family members "borrowing" things without asking.  She will probably be keen to build a home there but stand on your digs and put a bit of distance between you and them before you scope things out, at least initially

LOL. Talk about generalisation!!!!!!!

I didn't have any sort of party for the village, or family or family friends. It was up to us, not anyone else to decide. I did go to live in the village shortly after getting married and not a single villager asked me for money, either directly or through the family.

I did leave the village before I intended, but that was because of a problem with the sister in laws 2 sons , and nothing to do with any villagers.

 

People walking in and out day and night...particularly meal times.

Never happened.

The old village bidies liked to gather under the house to gossip, but that was as far as it went.

 

She will probably be keen to build a home there

That at least did happen, but she had more chance of flying to the moon than me building her a house.

 

Re the OP, the guy needs to tell his intended as to how much he is willing to pay for a party ( it's not a wedding in the western sense ) and then stay out of it. Let her do her job. Too many farangs seem to think the woman they are marrying is too simple/ thick/ ignorant/ etc to take care of business. If she can't, then it doesn't bode well for the future.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[BritManToo]

4 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

LOL. Talk about generalisation!!!!!!!

I didn't have any sort of party for the village, or family or family friends. It was up to us, not anyone else to decide. I did go to live in the village shortly after getting married and not a single villager asked me for money, either directly or through the family.

Same,

Amphur office was 40bht, then our wedding dinner was in the local street cafe, 100bht in total (including a 20bht tip) as they put candles on the meals and turned the lights out. Then the bus to the village in the evening to tell 'mum' what we'd done.

 

Way more romantic than my previous Brit wedding that cost thousands of pounds.

Edited December 24, 2022 by BritManToo

[thaibeachlovers]

7 hours ago, Elkski said:

I thought I had squelched the sinsod topic but it has surfaced a bit last couple days here at moms house.  I'm not sure why.  

Probably because they asked her. Agree to whatever they want, so long as it's for show and you get it back. That takes care of the "face" thing.

[BritManToo]

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

Probably because they asked her. Agree to whatever they want, so long as it's for show and you get it back. That takes care of the "face" thing.

I'd say,

Agree to anything and everything they want then don't ever get around to doing it (Thai way), as it's considered rude to say no.

[thaibeachlovers]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Same,

Amphur office was 40bht, then our wedding dinner was in the local street cafe, 100bht in total (including a 20bht tip) as they put candles on the meals and turned the lights out. Then the bus to the village in the evening to tell 'mum' what we'd done.

 

Way more romantic than my previous Brit wedding that cost thousands of pounds.

You had a wedding dinner! Luxury. Given my wife and I had been living together for a year it was just a trip to the amphur office and back to normal.

[GammaGlobulin]

Promise them anything. 

 

Pay them in FTX TOKENS. 

 

 

[2 is 1]

On 12/21/2022 at 7:33 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

I think the idea is that the husband shows that he has money to take care of the bride. And as far as I know the parents are in some way supposed to "give it back". Not literally, but by providing land to build a house or something like that. We have some experts here in the forum who know the details.

 

And this has little to do with being rich or poor. As far as I know rich Thais also pay sinsod, millions to show how rich they are and how much they are in love and all that.

It seems to be accepted cultural standard for rich and poor Thais. And I think if we live in Thailand and want to marry a Thai then we should not ignore their culture and customs. 

 

One big "idea" about sinsod is: woman support if man just decide to leave her! In Thailand you get so easily divorce and you never need pay any alimony even have many kids! That's the real reason about sinsod! Like i pay child support to my ex wife every month + she get money from government every month coz she have minor child! In Thailand dont have that kind systems. Yes maybe leagaly have but not in real world! Woman status in Thailand is still under man's.

[Kenny202]

On 12/24/2022 at 8:22 AM, Elkski said:

I thought I had squelched the sinsod topic but it has surfaced a bit last couple days here at moms house.  I'm not sure why.  

 

I lived with my first one back home for 2 years. Travelled to other countries. She fell back into the same old (bad) habits almost the moment we came here to live. I'm not saying for a moment the way we live in the west in golden handcuffs is better than living modestly in a Thai village, in fact I loved it. Its the gambling, infidelity, drunkenness, lack of care for children I couldn't cop. I realised after 5 years living with me in she had learnt nothing and zero growth. 2 months after separating with me she was penniless and back working in a bar. Which seems to be a cycle many repeat. I of course the one that bore all the financial losses. Most of course would say what would you expect from a whore? And you would be correct

Edited December 26, 2022 by Kenny202

[thaibeachlovers]

On 12/24/2022 at 10:30 PM, 2 is 1 said:

One big "idea" about sinsod is: woman support if man just decide to leave her! In Thailand you get so easily divorce and you never need pay any alimony even have many kids! That's the real reason about sinsod! Like i pay child support to my ex wife every month + she get money from government every month coz she have minor child! In Thailand dont have that kind systems. Yes maybe leagaly have but not in real world! Woman status in Thailand is still under man's.

That would be true except we have to give the money to the parents, not her.

I look at it as having to "buy" her. I guess the idea was that they lost a free caretaker ( the daughter ) so needed compensation.

In some countries a dowry was given to the wife to be, so your idea would be correct in that situation.

Edited December 26, 2022 by thaibeachlovers

[FriendlyFarang]

2 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I look at it as having to "buy" her. I guess the idea was that they lost a free caretaker ( the daughter ) so needed compensation.

From what I have heard after marriage the daughter was responsible to take care of her children and the husbands family, instead of taking care of her parents. So the sinsod was paid as compensation for this.

So if somebody paid sinsod to the parents, the wife should not send money to her parents.

[Hummin]

6 minutes ago, FriendlyFarang said:

From what I have heard after marriage the daughter was responsible to take care of her children and the husbands family, instead of taking care of her parents. So the sinsod was paid as compensation for this.

So if somebody paid sinsod to the parents, the wife should not send money to her parents.

Good luck with that, and if her parents is at same age as the groom, you know the time aspect of support. Even worse if younger ????

[parafareno]

i dated my last girlfriend from BKK and the whole family is filthy rich...talking about porsche cars....owners of clinics....i mean filthy rich....and the mom wanted 1 million bht for her daughter, who is also filthy rich.....i would not pay anything of course.....but we broke up eventually

and her brother asked me when he met me, how will i take care of my girlfriend...and she has a sallary of like 300000k per month.....so think about that greediness....

Edited December 26, 2022 by parafareno

[zzaa09]

Nonetheless, it all works out in the end.

Win-win for everyone. 

 

????

[thaibeachlovers]

I wonder if anyone that actually gave the money to the parents asked for it to be returned when she turned out to be a dud and he wanted to give her back?

[thaibeachlovers]

On 12/24/2022 at 2:22 PM, Elkski said:

I do worry about some guests drinking to much and then thinking they can drive and having an accident on my conscious. 

Why? They are not your responsibility. If they choose to drink too much and die as a result that's on them.

If it's a worry for anyone just don't have a party- problem solved.

Edited December 27, 2022 by thaibeachlovers

[thaibeachlovers]

On 12/27/2022 at 5:45 AM, parafareno said:

i dated my last girlfriend from BKK and the whole family is filthy rich...talking about porsche cars....owners of clinics....i mean filthy rich....and the mom wanted 1 million bht for her daughter, who is also filthy rich.....i would not pay anything of course.....but we broke up eventually

and her brother asked me when he met me, how will i take care of my girlfriend...and she has a sallary of like 300000k per month.....so think about that greediness....

A million for that class is normal. If one can't afford it they shouldn't be even thinking about marrying one of them.

I suspect it's to get rid of the male gold diggers.

Edited December 27, 2022 by thaibeachlovers

[Enoon]

On 12/26/2022 at 1:45 AM, Kenny202 said:

I lived with my first one back home for 2 years. Travelled to other countries. She fell back into the same old (bad) habits almost the moment we came here to live. I'm not saying for a moment the way we live in the west in golden handcuffs is better than living modestly in a Thai village, in fact I loved it. Its the gambling, infidelity, drunkenness, lack of care for children I couldn't cop. I realised after 5 years living with me in she had learnt nothing and zero growth. 2 months after separating with me she was penniless and back working in a bar. Which seems to be a cycle many repeat. I of course the one that bore all the financial losses. Most of course would say what would you expect from a whore? And you would be correct

I would expect any woman who was separated from her husband to go back into the employment that she held before she met him.

 

She would know the business and probably have less trouble getting back up to her previous earning level.

 

What do you think she should have done......train to be an Architect?

 

If only your pompous, arrogant self-righteousness had made itself felt when you first hooked up with your "whore" you would probably not be here, displaying your classic hypocrisy, now.

 

 

 

 

Edited December 27, 2022 by Enoon

[VinnieK]

Sinsod 

Just say no!

 

 

[Dirty Munger]

We need more context are we talking about :

 

1.) The 20-year old porcelain white Hi-So daughter of a high-ranking politician or billionaire captain of industry.

 

2.) An ageing,pox-ridden,fleabitten bar-ho from the pits of Pattaya that’s been cocked more times than Wyatt Earp’s six shooter at the OK Corral.

 

I’m not a betting man but if I were my money would be lumped on the latter?

[Dirty Munger]

On 12/22/2022 at 3:43 AM, Harveyboy said:

I gave the mother in law 200.000 she paid for the wedding 160 guests marquee in the garden ..monks ect...all inc I think I had a good deal

How many were your family.relatives or friends of the 160? ????

[Dirty Munger]

On 12/23/2022 at 7:57 AM, puchooay said:

Maybe in the past but now, I believe, an outdated assumption.

 

My wife ran a catering business dedicated to supplying expats with western food. 95% of customers were expats.

 

We noticed a big upturn in customers around 2013/14. This coincided with the broadened availability of the internet. We also noticed a change in the occupation of expats wives. Quite a few teachers, nurses, government officials.

 

I believe a large %%% of expats now meet their partners/wives on the internet.

Or in “Robinson’s”? ????

[Dirty Munger]

On 12/24/2022 at 1:20 AM, JBChiangRai said:

I remember my Dad giving me the best advice ever, he said "Son, it's as easy to marry a rich girl as a poor girl, so marry the rich girl".

They say that if you marry for money you will be made to earn it ten times over,marrying a rich girl is definitely not the answer for anyone wanting some semblance of freedom and happiness in their life.

[Dirty Munger]

You say “Sin Sod”

 

I say “Pre Nup”

 

Let’s call the whole thing off…

[puchooay]

8 hours ago, Dirty Munger said:

We need more context are we talking about :

 

1.) The 20-year old porcelain white Hi-So daughter of a high-ranking politician or billionaire captain of industry.

 

2.) An ageing,pox-ridden,fleabitten bar-ho from the pits of Pattaya that’s been cocked more times than Wyatt Earp’s six shooter at the OK Corral.

 

I’m not a betting man but if I were my money would be lumped on the latter?

In my case, neither.

 

I'm talking about my wife of 22 years.

 

If I were to categorise her, it would be an insult. So I won't. Each and every person is an individual, and shout be treated as such.

[VinnieK]

14 hours ago, Dirty Munger said:

They say that if you marry for money you will be made to earn it ten times over,marrying a rich girl is definitely not the answer for anyone wanting some semblance of freedom and happiness in their life.

Marry a poor one then.

Happiness guaranteed ????‍♂️????‍♂️

[spidermike007]

So many here have their heads in the clouds about what their land is worth, what their daughter is worth, etc. 

 

If she is from a middle class family, has a university education, does not have any kids, is absolutely gorgeous, and is under 25, she could warrant sinsod of up to 200,000. Possibly more. 

 

However, if she is over 25, is divorced, if she has kids, or she is from a poor family? The numbers just keep dropping. In terms of reality. 

Edited December 28, 2022 by spidermike007

[spidermike007]

15 hours ago, Dirty Munger said:

We need more context are we talking about :

 

1.) The 20-year old porcelain white Hi-So daughter of a high-ranking politician or billionaire captain of industry.

 

2.) An ageing,pox-ridden,fleabitten bar-ho from the pits of Pattaya that’s been cocked more times than Wyatt Earp’s six shooter at the OK Corral.

 

I’m not a betting man but if I were my money would be lumped on the latter?

Well, in reality neither are the least bit desirable. The last thing in the world I would want is a father in law who was a politician or a corporate porker. And the porcelain skin thing is so over rated. I will take cocoa skin over that, any day of the week.