Should tell him? Or not?

[Goat]

17 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

From what I have worked out about you, your posts and replies

Thanks for reading my posts.

 

17 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

except go looking for posters posts

Sorry for reading your posts.

 

17 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

But the easiest way to deal with you is to block you.

 

So long chump.

Thankyou for contributing to my thread.

Interesting to observe the ego/personality/ sensitivities of someone who leads a life similar to what this thread is all about.

 

I have decided I will be telling him. Just working on how to approach it so he doesnt over react.

[Goat]

3 hours ago, Hummin said:

So of you play with prostitutes you need to understand their game for not being taken for a ride. 

They make little secret of it.

 

They allow anyone to ride them for cash but some clingy customers dont want to let go, end up employing them full time, buy them houses, look after their SOCKS and then seem shocked that they dont really love or like them despite all the generosity, and they actually totally loathe them.

 

When it finally dawns on the customer of the reality, he then feels he has been taken for a ride. They are either delusional or in denial. My 'friend' now claims to have met her in a 7/11. 

 

It seems like a very farang trait. I havent seen Chinese, Russians, Indians etc falling for and treating the prostitutes as girlfreinds or wives.

 

I will tell him next week.

[Hummin]

Just now, Goat said:

They make little secret of it.

 

They allow anyone to ride them for cash but some clingy customers dont want to let go, end up employing them full time, buy them houses, look after their SOCKS and then seem shocked that they dont really love or like them despite all the generosity, and they actually totally loathe them.

 

When it finally dawns on the customer of the reality, he then feels he has been taken for a ride. They are either delusional or in denial. My 'friend' now claims to have met her in a 7/11. 

 

It seems like a very farang trait. I havent seen Chinese, Russians, Indians etc falling for and treating the prostitutes as girlfreinds or wives.

 

I will tell him next week.

If he says he met her in a 7/11, why is it your responsibility? 

 

Just say no to the invitation, and live on with your own life! He is a grown man, christ sake

[Goat]

6 minutes ago, Hummin said:

If he says he met her in a 7/11, why is it your responsibility? 

 

Just say no to the invitation, and live on with your own life! He is a grown man, christ sake

Planning to bring children into this world with a drunk prostitute for Christ's sake.

 

Children who in about ten years along with all of their friends will realise their mother is a drunken hooker and father who is no longer around was a sex tourist.

 

[Hummin]

9 minutes ago, Goat said:

Planning to bring children into this world with a drunk prostitute for Christ's sake.

 

Children who in about ten years along with all of their friends will realise their mother is a drunken hooker and father who is no longer around was a sex tourist.

 

Yes agreed, we should implement morally condemn all our friends and encourage them to sterilize to make sure no offsprings come out of a morally ill relationship. 

 

How do you know she is an alcoholic?

[In Full Agreement]

31 minutes ago, Goat said:

They make little secret of it.

 

They allow anyone to ride them for cash but some clingy customers dont want to let go, end up employing them full time, buy them houses, look after their SOCKS and then seem shocked that they dont really love or like them despite all the generosity, and they actually totally loathe them.

 

When it finally dawns on the customer of the reality, he then feels he has been taken for a ride. They are either delusional or in denial. My 'friend' now claims to have met her in a 7/11. 

 

It seems like a very farang trait. I havent seen Chinese, Russians, Indians etc falling for and treating the prostitutes as girlfreinds or wives.

 

I will tell him next week.

 

You should butt out entirely as it's none of your business.

 

You sound more noisy rather than a concerned friend.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Goat said:

I will tell him next week.

Out of curiosity, what will you tell him?

And what kind of reaction do you expect?

 

And just in case you plan to tell him he should look for a proper wife who loves him and is not interested in his money, do you think he would be able to find such wife?

 

[GinBoy2]

19 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Out of curiosity, what will you tell him?

And what kind of reaction do you expect?

 

And just in case you plan to tell him he should look for a proper wife who loves him and is not interested in his money, do you think he would be able to find such wife?

 

Well any relationship is pretty much a cr*&*p shoot

 

But when you add in the whole Thai bar girl generational gap thing it gets dicey for sure, and probably destined for disaster

 

The stories of guys getting burnt abound, but there is the sub plot of those of us who have quite boring normal lives with Thai women.

 

Despite the stereotype some of us are quite close in age, similar education and somehow figure it all out.

 

Me and Mrs G are now going on 20+ years. The girl still drives me bat <deleted> crazy, but somehow we are still together.

 

Our son, now in his 20's often remarks on 'how the Hell did you two make it this long'

 

Welcome to being an adult!

[Goat]

21 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Out of curiosity, what will you tell him?

The blunt truth.

The woman is a prostitute and if it wasnt a problem for him why does he need to lie to his friends and relatives that she is a prostitute. If he didnt have a problem there would be no need to lie about it.

 

Living as a prostitute's husband in a smallish village in Thailnd will likely mean having zero real friends and be socially shunned in the vilaage as the idiot who married the prostitute. A laughing stock. He cant speak Thai. Will effectively be the Village Idiot. Will not have a clue what is going on around him.

 

Social isolation in a place where he is effectively deaf and dumb is not much of a life. He will be dependant on her for nearly everything which will likely bore her quickly. She might be proud to have a nicer house, but she wont be proud of him.

 

He will also be a laughing stock in social circles in the UK.

 

She is damamged goods. After being sexually used and abused by thousands of desperate perverts throughout her entire adult life she most likely has PTSD like symptoms.

 

The kids will know, their friends will know, the marriage will probably not last and the kids will end up being dead s41ts. Possibly will use the love for his kids against him.

 

Only losers marry hookers. No kid wants to hear his mother is a whore. It is one of the worst insults you can say in many cultures. Probably universally. Worse if it is actually true.

 

 

 

 

21 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And what kind of reaction do you expect?

I think deep down he knows it is a terrible idea.

 

 

21 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

And just in case you plan to tell him he should look for a proper wife who loves him and is not interested in his money, do you think he would be able to find such wife?

 

This is Thailand. He could have a very large choice of employed decent single women.

The Elephant Man could pull something decent in Thailand. Anyone who has been here any amount of time and doesnt spend all his time in bars being brainwashed by hookers knows that.

 

I am actually surprised at the amount of support for marrying a hooker on this forum. I thought for most people it would be a no brainer.

 

Happy to hear any other points you may have to include that will help.

 

I will let you know how it goes.

 

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, Goat said:

They allow anyone to ride them for cash but some clingy customers dont want to let go, end up employing them full time, buy them houses, look after their SOCKS and then seem shocked that they dont really love or like them despite all the generosity, and they actually totally loathe them.

It would be interesting to take a survey on how many women love their husbands after 10 years together.

I would predict the answer to be nearly none.

 

Then you could do a reverse survey to see how many husbands loved their wives after 10 years.

I would predict 60%+.

 

Men love women, women only love their children.

[OneMoreFarang]

5 minutes ago, Goat said:

The blunt truth.

The woman is a prostitute and if it wasnt a problem for him why does he need to lie to his friends and relatives that she is a prostitute. If he didnt have a problem there would be no need to lie about it.

 

Living as a prostitute's husband in a smallish village in Thailnd will likely mean having zero real friends and be socially shunned in the vilaage as the idiot who married the prostitute. A laughing stock. He cant speak Thai. Will effectively be the Village Idiot. Will not have a clue what is going on around him.

 

Social isolation in a place where he is effectively deaf and dumb is not much of a life. He will be dependant on her for nearly everything which will likely bore her quickly. She might be proud to have a nicer house, but she wont be proud of him.

 

He will also be a laughing stock in social circles in the UK.

 

She is damamged goods. After being sexually used and abused by thousands of desperate perverts throughout her entire adult life she most likely has PTSD like symptoms.

 

The kids will know, their friends will know, the marriage will probably not last and the kids will end up being dead s41ts. Possibly will use the love for his kids against him.

 

Only losers marry hookers. No kid wants to hear his mother is a whore. It is one of the worst insults you can say in many cultures. Probably universally. Worse if it is actually true.

 

 

 

 

I think deep down he knows it is a terrible idea.

 

 

This is Thailand. He could have a very large choice of employed decent single women.

The Elephant Man could pull something decent in Thailand. Anyone who has been here any amount of time and doesnt spend all his time in bars being brainwashed by hookers knows that.

 

I am actually surprised at the amount of support for marrying a hooker on this forum. I thought for most people it would be a no brainer.

 

Happy to hear any other points you may have to include that will help.

 

I will let you know how it goes.

 

Thanks for your detailed reply and I am sure many of us are looking forward what will happen.

 

Let me write some comments about what you wrote:

 

About her history and where he met her: If someone asks where I met my gf, I normally say: at the beach. Which is not totally incorrect because her bar was near the beach.

And why do I answer like that? Because that ends all possible discussions about why she worked in a bar and if she liked it and how many customers she had and whatever. Most guys in Thailand don't ask, they look at her and have a pretty good idea if the girl looks like she ever worked in a bar.

 

I agree it will be hard for him in a village if he doesn't speak Thai. So maybe he should learn it or better live somewhere else.

I don't think for many villagers her past is very important. It is a lot more important how much money she has. If she is married to a rich farang who is willing to spend a lot of money, then I am pretty sure that will enhance her status.

 

About the UK: Probably he prefers to have a wife and doesn't care too much about the people in the UK.

 

And about other women in Thailand. How many "normal" women want a farang husband? And what are their expectations? It seems almost all Thai women expect that a farang has money. Why else would they marry one?

 

And about finding the perfect girlfriend or wife: Some of us want a woman about their own age. Some want children and a happy family and all that. Other just want to be happy with a woman.

Personally I prefer a cute 20 year old girl who just started in that business compared to an old woman over 30 with a proper job, etc. It depends a lot on what we want.

 

 

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

12 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

It would be interesting to take a survey on how many women love their husbands after 10 years together.

I don't know who said it first but there is this wonderful quote:

Women select a man and hope he will change but he won't change.

Men select a women and hope she will never change. But she changes.

 

Now multiply that by 10 years or more...

 

[Hummin]

2 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I don't know who said it first but there is this wonderful quote:

Women select a man and hope he will change but he won't change.

Men select a women and hope she will never change. But she changes.

 

Now multiply that by 10 years or more...

 

Hehe a  truth with modifications ????

[GinBoy2]

3 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I don't know who said it first but there is this wonderful quote:

Women select a man and hope he will change but he won't change.

Men select a women and hope she will never change. But she changes.

 

Now multiply that by 10 years or more...

 

There is some truth in that.

 

I think many a woman has taken on a man as 'a project' certain she can fix him.

 

I doubt many succeed.

 

In truth humans, male or female rarely change their spots 

[OneMoreFarang]

3 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

In truth humans, male or female rarely change their spots 

Women change.

Man want that they are the cute girl which they met forever.

But they are getting older and fatter and demanding and all that. And then they have children, and it gets worse.

 

[save the frogs]

5 hours ago, Goat said:

She is damamged goods. After being sexually used and abused by thousands of desperate perverts throughout her entire adult life she most likely has PTSD like symptoms.

maybe you can marry an inflatable doll.

they don't have PTSD.

emotional complexity of the woman can actually make the relationship more interesting.

i'll take on the PTSD.

i can work with that.

 

[save the frogs]

5 hours ago, Goat said:

Only losers marry hookers. No kid wants to hear his mother is a whore. It is one of the worst insults you can say in many cultures. Probably universally. Worse if it is actually true.

because people are holier than thou and like to pass judgement. 

these women grew up financially disadvantaged. 

they're just women. you don't need to put a label on them. 

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

18 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

Just ask a woman !

Which one represents all of womankind to ask? Every woman is different, though they all have the same genetic imperatives..

[thaibeachlovers]

9 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

There is some truth in that.

 

I think many a woman has taken on a man as 'a project' certain she can fix him.

 

I doubt many succeed.

 

In truth humans, male or female rarely change their spots 

Women, IMO, once they snare a man, start changing him, but once they have succeeded they no longer want him, because he isn't the man they "fell in love" with.

 

I agree 100% with the poster that said that men want a woman not to change, but that is a forlorn hope- ain't going to happen.

IMO just never get committed to any one woman, and when they inevitably become something the guy doesn't like, move on. Rinse and repeat till too old or too poor to attract a good one and then go celibate.

[thaibeachlovers]

14 hours ago, Goat said:

Only losers marry hookers. No kid wants to hear his mother is a whore. It is one of the worst insults you can say in many cultures. Probably universally. Worse if it is actually true.

and if one doesn't want children? Does that make a difference?

 

14 hours ago, Goat said:

This is Thailand. He could have a very large choice of employed decent single women.

The Elephant Man could pull something decent in Thailand. Anyone who has been here any amount of time and doesnt spend all his time in bars being brainwashed by hookers knows that.

 

 

BS. IMO most "decent" Thai women want nothing to do with farangs, because if they get involved with one romantically other Thais will assume they are hookers.

 

14 hours ago, Goat said:

She is damamged goods. After being sexually used and abused by thousands of desperate perverts throughout her entire adult life she most likely has PTSD like symptoms.

Now I know you actually know sod all about Thai BGs- thousands of desperate perverts is soooo

 

That sounds like you have been reading British newspaper articles about Pattaya which are IMO all BS.

[thaibeachlovers]

18 hours ago, Hummin said:

So you need no attraction, no flirting, no excitement and last the most important question, can I live with this woman without going mental?

When all you want is sex why bother with all that romantic stuff? That's for wooing a woman to be a wife.

That's why BGs are great, they don't need any of that to be up for it.

[thaibeachlovers]

19 hours ago, Hummin said:

Why men choose wrong women in Thailand is a quite clear cocktail of emotions, everything from loneliness and want to protect someone. 

 

 

IMO western men have such rotten experience of females in home country that when they visit Thailand and experience friendly women they forget that it doesn't mean that they are actually good women. Personally, at first I couldn't believe that any woman could be as friendly as those I met in LOS, because of all the western women I'd known.

[GinBoy2]

18 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Women, IMO, once they snare a man, start changing him, but once they have succeeded they no longer want him, because he isn't the man they "fell in love" with.

 

I agree 100% with the poster that said that men want a woman not to change, but that is a forlorn hope- ain't going to happen.

IMO just never get committed to any one woman, and when they inevitably become something the guy doesn't like, move on. Rinse and repeat till too old or too poor to attract a good one and then go celibate.

Well, I agree with some of that.

 

50% of all marriages in the West fail, conversely 50% actually go the distance.

 

I'm one of them, 20 years with my first marriage, 20+ with my Thai one.

 

We all change, a little, but by the time you are 30, nothing about you is ever going to change.

 

Now if anyone in their corn fed mind thinks in their latter years they hook up with a woman young enough to be their daughter and it's real love, well time for medication!

[SuperSilverHaze]

Well, he knows precisely what he's marrying the question is does he truly know what he's getting himself into?

 

What is he getting himself into? She will bleed as much money out of him as possible then change the locks, threaten him with death upon return.

 

He is lonely and this is a woman that's given him attention and comfort.

 

 

 

A story: When my cousin was hot: a rotund, wealthy guy married her on the condition that she truly care for him later in life - that's the deal right? She hoovered up everything nice house, furnishings, jewelry, trips without Mr fatso, money.

 

All his kids didn't want him to marry they saw her to be exactly what she was a complete and total gold digger.

 

They weren't together perhaps maybe 10 years of her blood sucking and then she divorced him, or rather asked for divorce

 

That evening he got blind drunk was driving down the road ran off the road and almost killed himself. Imagine the shame and embarrassment that he needs to go back to his children and deal with. All that money gone and they all forewarned.

[thaibeachlovers]

23 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

50% of all marriages in the West fail, conversely 50% actually go the distance.

I don't know anyone still married after 20 years that are "in love". IMO they are still together for companionship or it's better than being alone, or they'd lose too much financially ( 50/50 split ). Nothing wrong with that, as long as they don't hate each other, but it's a bit sad that it's just two individuals living in same house. IMO if they were in LOS the guy would move out to live with a young woman instead.

[GinBoy2]

6 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I don't know anyone still married after 20 years that are "in love". IMO they are still together for companionship or it's better than being alone, or they'd lose too much financially ( 50/50 split ). Nothing wrong with that, as long as they don't hate each other, but it's a bit sad that it's just two individuals living in same house. IMO if they were in LOS the guy would move out to live with a young woman instead.

Well, you are right in a way.

 

Lustful love does develop into a form of just being comfortable around each other.

 

That being said it doesn't diminish sex, it's just easier and less stressful.

 

After 20 years you're not in any way under the gun to 'perform', it's just all for fun 

[thaibeachlovers]

4 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

Well, you are right in a way.

 

Lustful love does develop into a form of just being comfortable around each other.

 

That being said it doesn't diminish sex, it's just easier and less stressful.

 

After 20 years you're not in any way under the gun to 'perform', it's just all for fun 

Had my first partner not stopped having sex with me, likely we'd still be together as I'd never have know that it's better in LOS than what she was giving me when she was doing it to trap me .

[thaibeachlovers]

19 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Obviously they would need to weigh less than 50Kg and be under 35 years old.

For me they needed to be light enough to walk on my spine with both feet, and not be taller than my shoulder ( that way high heels didn't make them taller than me ). No fatties or stretch marks, obviously. Age wasn't important as long as not going to look like granny before I died.

[BritManToo]

55 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

Well, I agree with some of that.

50% of all marriages in the West fail, conversely 50% actually go the distance.

50% end in divorce, the next 40% live in mutual hate, and the last 10% tolerate each other.

[GinBoy2]

5 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

50% end in divorce, the next 40% live in mutual hate, and the last 10% tolerate each other.

I must be in a really tiny minority then.

 

Been together a long time.

 

For sure young lust has long since gone, but we still go at it like like rabbits, maybe not at the same frequency, she's all menopausal and i'm just tired.

 

But all in all we like being around each other.

 

Not sure how you define love, but when she went back to Thailand for a month last year, I think we both felt something was missing, maybe that is love