You can take the girl out of the bar, but can you take the bar out of the girl?

[transam]

1 minute ago, proton said:

You don;t have to be an expert to know the difference between right and wrong and what a child is

thaiguider.com:

it is generally considered that any person who is over the age of 15 (but not yet reached the age of 18) is referred to as a minor in Thailand (3). For the legal definition of a ‘child’ in Thailand, according to Child Protection Act 2003, Section 4, ‘child’ refers to a person who is below the age of 18 years old.

King Charles III met his to be wife when she was 16, are you going to report him....

[Seeall]

4 hours ago, Goat said:

Well I do mate, I just want to hear other people's thoughts. 

 

From what I have seen the smartest bargirls dont need to leave Thailand at all.

They either rack up a posse of foreign sponsors sending money over monthly or even convince the punter to move up to issan with them and build them a house, "take care" of extended family etc

 

Others are probably happy to leave Thailand as they think they can "re invent" themselves.

 

 

You left out : the ones that quickly copy farang girl ways of total theft of all your stuff and beyond.... 

[soi3eddie]

3 hours ago, Jack1988 said:

I just don't understand how many foreigners can marry these types of girls. It's crazy

In my opinion, and from my experience, marrying any girl is crazy. I did it once and it will not be repeated. For last 3 years have had a long term partner, although she would like a ring on the finger, I am am not prepared to have a ring through my nose! I will remain happily unmarried (with or without her).

 

[scubascuba3]

3 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Christ was not involved. I was a little older than her but still young and handsome. And there was and is no money involved apart from expenses for life. 

i thought you said previously you paid her monthly, how does she save money for the future or support her family?

[scubascuba3]

13 minutes ago, soi3eddie said:

In my opinion, and from my experience, marrying any girl is crazy. I did it once and it will not be repeated. For last 3 years have had a long term partner, although she would like a ring on the finger, I am am not prepared to have a ring through my nose! I will remain happily unmarried (with or without her).

 

Yeah I don't know why guys want to lose power by getting married, worse still assets in their name

[473geo]

5 minutes ago, soi3eddie said:

In my opinion, and from my experience, marrying any girl is crazy. I did it once and it will not be repeated. For last 3 years have had a long term partner, although she would like a ring on the finger, I am am not prepared to have a ring through my nose! I will remain happily unmarried (with or without her).

 

Understand your actions, I went through life with long term live in girlfriends but eventually my socialising meant moving on as they became disillusioned ????

Now I am happily married main reason being my wife gets my private pension, for putting up with me she deserves it, and more! Also means she can be there if necessary for our son as he makes his way through life if I am not 

So different circumstances require different solutions is all, it's working for me ???? perhaps also because my party days are a fond memory of my youth which I am sure my wife appreciates ????

[spidermike007]

It depends on the gal, and it really depends in how long she was in the business. Many of us think there is a sort of sliding scale of psychologocal damage.

 

Up to 150 men, no big deal. I think an awful lot of women in the West have that number beat, despite the low numbers they often quote. 

 

150-500 men she is experienced, but will likely be fine.

 

500-1000 men (very common here, though also common for a civilian in the US too!) is approaching the point where there might be some permament damage. Depends on the depth of heart. 

 

1000-2000 men, and there is likely to be long term bitterness towards men.

 

2000 men and over is (ATW) what we refer to as "around the world". Little chance of being able to engage emotionally in a healthy manner, ever again. There are likely exceptions. But not many.

[recom273]

When I was a BKK bar lurker, I remember not all bar girls were young - hardcore - tattooed - aggressive types that I see on Pattaya YouTube vlogs.

 

I remember, there were a lot of girls that never used to get picked to go home, they would all scuttle down Cowboy and at other times I would see them heading back to their apartments on Suk 71 where I was living at 2.00 am. When visiting BKK, I never had trouble convincing most of them to take the night off to go somewhere else, or to make a phone call and pick them up after work. I rarely paid a bar fine, I was always given the opportunity "up to you" (I mean, obviously the same ole same ole, I was young, hansum with ..) - There were a few that were big trouble and were only interested in doing the business and moving on to the next customer, but most were nice girls.

 

I still have a few bar girls in my fb, they are in their mid 40s now, seem to have done really well for themselves and look happy enough, not all of them with Western guys, some hooked up with Asian guys in SG or HK, some are married to handsome Thai guys with kids. So i'm not too sure that the old phrase of "you can take a bar girl out of a bar .. " is always true.

[xylophone]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

She worked in a bar and she was not in school.

And then she didn't work in the bar anymore and lived together with me.

And just in case you don't know: It's legal in Thailand to have a 16 yo girlfriend.

And no, I don't plan to give you all my personal details. 

I feel sorry about some of the responses you've got from your post, just as you said you would, however, kudos to you for posting and giving some background as to your marriage/partnership, and long may it continue – – best of luck to you both.

[transam]

1 minute ago, xylophone said:

I feel sorry about some of the responses you've got from your post, just as you said you would, however, kudos to you for posting and giving some background as to your marriage/partnership, and long may it continue – – best of luck to you both.

I reckon there are posters here that do exactly what they are having a go at, this is LOS, after all......????

[Hummin]

16 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

It depends on the gal, and it really depends in how long she was in the business. Many of us think there is a sort of sliding scale of psychologocal damage.

 

Up to 150 men, no big deal. I think an awful lot of women in the West have that number beat, despite the low numbers they often quote. 

 

150-500 men she is experienced, but will likely be fine.

 

500-1000 men (very common here, though also common for a civilian in the US too!) is approaching the point where there might be some permament damage. Depends on the depth of heart. 

 

1000-2000 men, and there is likely to be long term bitterness towards men.

 

2000 men and over is (ATW) what we refer to as "around the world". Little chance of being able to engage emotionally in a healthy manner, ever again. There are likely exceptions. But not many.

It might as well come down to the nature of the establishment and experience forced sex, rape and other type of abuse, not really a number thing. Most bars I frequently visited in Thailand, the girls I got to know for a longer time not as customer, maybe had one to three customers a week, and often long term holiday boy friends. Some others was experts in short times, and was typical adhd or had other mental challenges and was not to work long hours in bar waiting with no action, or had much patience with customers. The new innocent younger pretty girls came and went quick as customers took them out of bar rather quick. Some came back, most didn't. 

 

There is not one easy answer based on numbers, but the individual and their back ground as their mental health as well social intelligence.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Goat said:

Tiktok? You play Tiktok?

isnt that for teenagers?

No, I don't play with tiktok or any other social media. But I read the news and it's impossible not to know about the existence of this trend and the fact that many teenagers love it. 

[Lacessit]

3 hours ago, Jack1988 said:

Honestly, this is not my favourite type of thai girl. Too skinny, I prefer with more meat

Looks hot to me. I prefer women I don't have to roll in flour first.

[OneMoreFarang]

58 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

i thought you said previously you paid her monthly, how does she save money for the future or support her family?

No, I don't pay her. I support her father a little, he takes care of a family member who needs support.

She doesn't save any money.

When I die, then she will inherit enough for the rest of her life.

[scubascuba3]

3 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

No, I don't pay her. I support her father a little, he takes care of a family member who needs support.

She doesn't save any money.

When I die, then she will inherit enough for the rest of her life.

i regularly hear stories of Thai wives or girlfriends left with nothing when the farang dies, probably the farang is too disorganised or maybe on the drink

[BritManToo]

14 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

No, I don't play with tiktok or any other social media. But I read the news and it's impossible not to know about the existence of this trend and the fact that many teenagers love it. 

Facebook 'reels' is full of obviously underage Thai girls prancing around barely dressed.

[OneMoreFarang]

2 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

i regularly hear stories of Thai wives or girlfriends left with nothing when the farang dies, probably the farang is too disorganised or maybe on the drink

It also depends on how much money the farang has. Some have just enough to live here and now. But the girls should be aware of that. It's their choice.

And if the girls are considerably younger than the guys then maybe they have to work when he dies - just like most other people.

[Walker88]

Not sure about taking the bar out of either the woman or punter.

 

A sociobiologist like E.O. Wilson, or a scientist like Robert Sapolsky might argue that instinct, genetics and upbringing guide us and remove any semblance of free will. We behave as we are, and most always will continue to do so.

 

There is something I used to find unfair in polite society, and maybe I still do. A mother taking care of her child---the proverbial Madonna---is viewed with praise and admiration, while a man who is a serial dallier is viewed as a cad or somehow immoral. The fact is, the exact same instinct drives both behaviors.

 

The purpose of life is more life. We are driven to propagate our gene pool. Women become 'maternal' because of the effort it takes to produce even one offspring. They must take care of it, lest it not survive. Women have an extremely limited number of chances to propagate. Most women thus "love" a small bundle of flesh and bones that eats, sleeps, cries, poops and throws up. Hardly qualities that would make a rational person fall in love. Certainly a grown man behaving so is not going to attract many women.

 

Men can spread their seed far and wide, but there is always the possibility it's someone else' seed that gifted the 23 chromosomes. Thus men will spread their seed as often as the opportunity arises, playing a numbers game that maybe theirs is the lucky spermazoa. Most men control the urge to seed spread, or at least go through the motions of spreading it, but many do not and polite society shuns them if they're mongers.

 

There is no difference. Instinct is instinct. It is the noble man who resists temptation, while a nurturing mother is just following instinct and really deserves no praise for what it makes her do.

[Walker88]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It depends on what you expect.

If I would look for someone to administer a database or manage a company then the legs and smile are not enough.

If I look for a pretty girl who smiles at me when I come back from work, then she looks about right. Let's concentrate on the important things in life. 

I'm sure you know I was being facetious.

 

The face and smile were enough...legs all the way to Buriram is just frosting on the cake.

[save the frogs]

but not all women are good wives or mothers.

some of them are better off staying in the bars. 

[OneMoreFarang]

3 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

but not all women are good wives or mothers.

some of them are better off staying in the bars. 

Yes, not all women are good wives or mothers.

And that includes good girls, women with decent education and jobs, etc.

 

And let's not forget that the definition of a good mother is different in Thailand.

I was told that here many people think a good mother works hard and makes a lot of money and she send that money to her parents who take care of the children.

I other countries mothers are supposed to be best if they spend 100% of their time taking care of their children.

But it seems there are also different opinions about that in the western world. 

[NanLaew]

42 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

i regularly hear stories of Thai wives or girlfriends left with nothing when the farang dies, probably the farang is too disorganised or maybe on the drink

So you're suggesting your disorganization and boozing doesn't bother anyone else.

 

Is this another benefit of singlehood?

[oxo1947]

6 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Just look at the guys who have failed relationships,

Jeff Bezos, Bill gates, Rod Stewart, Paul McCartney, KIng Charles, Prince Andrew, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp .......

You haven't put ..You & Me on that list, & probably 98% of Asean readers.....

[EVENKEEL]

1 hour ago, scubascuba3 said:

i regularly hear stories of Thai wives or girlfriends left with nothing when the farang dies, probably the farang is too disorganised or maybe on the drink

Define nothing..... Are we talking she has a house that's paid for and a car or 2 but no income or are we talking they were renting and he had a small pension.

[soi3eddie]

1 hour ago, scubascuba3 said:

 

When I die, then she will inherit enough for the rest of her life.

Same here but I have not told her. Lest my natural life could end sooner than expected ????

 

[swissie]

Can't supply any statistics. But it worked ONCE.

[scubascuba3]

8 hours ago, NanLaew said:

So you're suggesting your disorganization and boozing doesn't bother anyone else.

 

Is this another benefit of singlehood?

Being single is great, i recommend it, rather than have a fake girlfriend or wife but i appreciate many men get lonely and need to drag a girl around everywhere, as for drink, not too much for me, sorry to disappoint you

[scubascuba3]

7 hours ago, EVENKEEL said:

Define nothing..... Are we talking she has a house that's paid for and a car or 2 but no income or are we talking they were renting and he had a small pension.

it varies, can be no will, so no transfer of assets, no income from pension, i put it down to drinkers not being able to organise things properly plus having little money left

[scubascuba3]

7 hours ago, soi3eddie said:

Same here but I have not told her. Lest my natural life could end sooner than expected ????

 

What you quoted wasn't me but if you've organised it in advance, good

[Lucky Bones]

12 hours ago, bkk6060 said:

I know several the issue lies in where you live.  If you take them from a Pattaya bar and after, live in Pattaya I believe it is doomed.  They have too many contacts male and female.  Their friends beg them to go out and party.  Once that starts, tough to recover.

If you can live in a nuetral place possibly even away from her family, I think there is a chance.

But most want to be near family so that creates a whole different dynamic.

 

The attention, drinking/partying with friends, lots of sex and making great money are difficult to get away from.

Very very risky for marriage.

 

"A whole different dynamic".

I think you nailed it there.

Yes, many scenarios arise.

If you value your partner it can work out good.????????