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Isaan Woman


Stevey

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On 11/5/2023 at 8:23 AM, TroubleandGrumpy said:

 

Ditto - same story for myself.  But I was not 'lucky' really.  After a few years of fun, I had decided to find a 'keeper' and I took my time looking (and I did not look in bars)


So tell us how one finds a good girls and not in the bars. I can understand Thai and can speak with people who have no English, it’s actually easier. Where are these women of Thailand who have no connection to the Scene da la Bar but speak English to a standard that the average Falang could be in a relationship with ? 
 

I have met women who can speak English quite well in my time and I am 99% sure they were genuine. The last time was in a coffee shop where I got in conversation with an attractive mother and daughter, say 50&30, both teachers but out of town. I think you’d be very lucky to find a women with good English who had no latent connection to the scene. 
 

Let’s take Colin. I may of said this before. When I asked him how he met his Mademoiselle he told me he had met her on the internet ( good answer). So he was working in the offshore game prior to coming to Asia and meets her on one of those sites, but yonks ago. He then starts a web relationship and meets her in Bangkok. She tells him a half truth that she was importing T-shirts or something. Something had done on the side. They then start a relationship and she gets pregnant and it all begins. Now…. What he didn’t know is his wife was a ‘ one night in Bangkok ‘ era Soi Cowboy worker. I was told by someone who had a bar in Bkk at the same time but was sworn to secrecy, so don’t tell anyone. Surely he must have wondered why when she suggested getting a bar she managed to fill it with all her friends whom she appeared to have known years and all spoke English really well, but weren’t teachers ? Mental 🤔

 

Anyway like they they believe half of what you see and non of what your told. 

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13 hours ago, Stevey said:

So tell us how one finds a good girls and not in the bars. I can understand Thai and can speak with people who have no English, it’s actually easier. Where are these women of Thailand who have no connection to the Scene da la Bar but speak English to a standard that the average Falang could be in a relationship with ? 
 

I have met women who can speak English quite well in my time and I am 99% sure they were genuine. The last time was in a coffee shop where I got in conversation with an attractive mother and daughter, say 50&30, both teachers but out of town. I think you’d be very lucky to find a women with good English who had no latent connection to the scene. 
 

Let’s take Colin. I may of said this before. When I asked him how he met his Mademoiselle he told me he had met her on the internet ( good answer). So he was working in the offshore game prior to coming to Asia and meets her on one of those sites, but yonks ago. He then starts a web relationship and meets her in Bangkok. She tells him a half truth that she was importing T-shirts or something. Something had done on the side. They then start a relationship and she gets pregnant and it all begins. Now…. What he didn’t know is his wife was a ‘ one night in Bangkok ‘ era Soi Cowboy worker. I was told by someone who had a bar in Bkk at the same time but was sworn to secrecy, so don’t tell anyone. Surely he must have wondered why when she suggested getting a bar she managed to fill it with all her friends whom she appeared to have known years and all spoke English really well, but weren’t teachers ? Mental 🤔

 

Anyway like they they believe half of what you see and non of what your told. 

 

I have told a couple of very close friends what I did in detail, and they both did well enough - one is in Thailand and one now back in Australia - both are still going strong. The reason I will not say too much in public is the same reason why I did not tell this bloke in Aust some years ago.  The wife and I were in the car park at a golf course - getting gear and ourselves ready to play. This bloke walks up and says "Hey Mate, where do you find a good one like her. I brought back 2 of them and they were no good".  I turned and looked at this fat tatooed untidy slob and thought 'not in the bars where you look mate' but all I said was "Lucky I guess". 

 

The truth is that I do not want some slob like him to know where and how to look for a good Thai girl, because a good Thai girl does not deserve to be 'caught' by such a slob - that sort of bloke is what a bar girl is for. If he can change and treat her well, and she also behaves and is good to him, then that is great - and that does happen.  All one can do is minimise the chances of her being a 'bad one' or turning into a bad one - but there are no guarantees.  There is a website I saw many years ago in Thailand that was teaching Thai girls how to 'catch' an Expat - it was for the 'bad ones' and it was teaching them how to act and behave, to make it look like they are a 'good one' - so beware. 

 

Here is a few additional tips. They will all act and speak and behave good - dont believe anything any of them say.  If you think that it is a matter of being lucky and because you are a good guy you will find 'the right one' - you are a fool and will soon get 'caught'. There are lots of good ones, and lots of bad ones - be selective - and judge them harshly.  It is far far better to miss out on a good one, than to make a bad one happy -so do not be scared about dumping one that might be good.  There is no one single way to do it - there are more 'donts' than 'dos'. 

 

Make a list of what you want and dont want. Number 1 for me was 'no kids'. That limits the choice - because there are many good Thai girls who got pregnant and were dumped, but they did not resort to being a bar girl. I decided that I did not want all the issues and costs of another man's child in my life. As a bloke said years ago - besides all the obvious problems of having a child, if/when you get divorced later, you lose both the mother and the child.  I know a bloke that had that happen toi him after 10 years - he did not recover for many years.  If you agree with that, then get a vasectomy and do it before you start. 

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16 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

 

Wow, so "bargirls" deserve those stereo types you are referring to because "bargirls" are bad. Sounds like you got throw off a horse. From my experience with women, I have found ALL Thai women to be good, haven't come a cross a bad "bargirl" yet, do you know why, because I don't judge people, especially because of their profession, by choice or other, they provide a service and I enjoy it, no need to put them all in the one basket (bad) because they spread eagle, after all, most men use their services and then trash them, did I say men, I meant boys. 

 

The above said I have been with scores of women, mostly westerners in my life, but the yellow fever hit me badly when I arrived on these shores back in 2006 and have to say that I haven't come across a bad one yet, luck, no, just a guy who knows women, and how to treat them, frankly their pretty playful and if they know you treat them with respect as opposed to judge them for their profession, as mentioned, by choice or other, they will show you a good time and not look at taking you out, so to speak, on the other hand, if you don't know how women work and hang your heart on your sleeve and allow others (women) to handle your finances, or are one who easily listens to them with regards to investing your money into building a house without fully understanding the complexities of Thai law and are prepared to lose it, then you can't cry over spoilt milk, which most do because they invested everything, all because of that emotion (love) which allowed them to be blinded.

 

I build a house here, purchased a new car, everything is in the "bargirl" wife's name, however I only invested as much as I am prepared to lose, and even though I know my "bargirl" wife like the back of my hand, I say that because she hasn't changed one iota in 17 years, if we ever did split, then she deserves to keep the 10% that I invested in her life, suffice to say, she couldn't have earned this much working in the short time most work in their profession, in the hope of meeting a nice farang to take care of them and visa a versa. I know scores of guys married to "bargirls" and they are all happy, sure some have fallen by the roadside, but the same applies to marrying western women, fact of the matter is, most western marriages cost farangs more than what marrying a Thai would cost when the marriage goes south.
 

 

 

 

 

 

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6 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

 

Wow, so "bargirls" deserve those stereo types you are referring to because "bargirls" are bad. Sounds like you got throw off a horse. From my experience with women, I have found ALL Thai women to be good, haven't come a cross a bad "bargirl" yet, do you know why, because I don't judge people, especially because of their profession, by choice or other, they provide a service and I enjoy it, no need to put them all in the one basket (bad) because they spread eagle, after all, most men use their services and then trash them, did I say men, I meant boys. 

 

The above said I have been with scores of women, mostly westerners in my life, but the yellow fever hit me badly when I arrived on these shores back in 2006 and have to say that I haven't come across a bad one yet, luck, no, just a guy who knows women, and how to treat them, frankly their pretty playful and if they know you treat them with respect as opposed to judge them for their profession, as mentioned, by choice or other, they will show you a good time and not look at taking you out, so to speak, on the other hand, if you don't know how women work and hang your heart on your sleeve and allow others (women) to handle your finances, or are one who easily listens to them with regards to investing your money into building a house without fully understanding the complexities of Thai law and are prepared to lose it, then you can't cry over spoilt milk, which most do because they invested everything, all because of that emotion (love) which allowed them to be blinded.

 

I build a house here, purchased a new car, everything is in the "bargirl" wife's name, however I only invested as much as I am prepared to lose, and even though I know my "bargirl" wife like the back of my hand, I say that because she hasn't changed one iota in 17 years, if we ever did split, then she deserves to keep the 10% that I invested in her life, suffice to say, she couldn't have earned this much working in the short time most work in their profession, in the hope of meeting a nice farang to take care of them and visa a versa. I know scores of guys married to "bargirls" and they are all happy, sure some have fallen by the roadside, but the same applies to marrying western women, fact of the matter is, most western marriages cost farangs more than what marrying a Thai would cost when the marriage goes south.
 

So the bar girl should behave and should be good to him, ah yes, I guess that does happen, doesn't it, but what about western women ?

 

I suppose you could say that with all women, couldn't you, I mean what is the divorce rate worldwide at the moment, and how many men have been taken to the cleaners because of certain laws regarding marriage and children ?

 

I know a guy who married a western women, they were married for 3 years, she dropped 2 kids and he ended up paying her $750k AUS, plus $2,000 a month in child support, I could go on with others, but you get my drift.

 

Really, no link to support what your saying. I would agree that it's a dog eat dog industry and the fittest of the fittest will survive, suffice to say, that game is called LOVE, not specific to "bargirls" only and don't forget many Thai "bargirls" get burnt with false promises as well as men of non Thai descent. 

 

Lol, that could be said for any female.

 

Is that a bit like a shopping list, height, weight, teets etc etc ?

 

Each to their own, when I met my Thai "bargirl" wife, now of 17 very very very happy years, she had a couple of youngens who wouldn't remember their father as she left him when they were so young.

 

The youngens are now adults and it gave me a real pleasure to see them grow as if they were my own.

 

We all have choices, you choose to be either selfless of selfish, and yes taking on your partners kids is a responsibility, but can also be a real reward to see what you did was give them a leg up in life, one purpose in life one could say ?

 

You can chose to be selective and not want any kids, like I said, each to their own, but to me, life without kids has no real purpose, just my opinion.

 

I am not one for trying to educate people who have their mindset, however you could try and get in close with "bargirls" rather than fear them and enjoy the ride, I have.

Mate I stopped reading after a short while - you need to take a chill pill buddy - you have got it all wrong - 'arse about' as we say.

You are massively over-reacting and taking massive offence on behalf of your wife - but there is no need. 

 

I refuse to answer all your tirade - just the first part - but I do accept that perhaps I did write that a bit poorly.

However, if you re-read it again after reading my explanation below, you will understand that I diod not mean what you thought.

 

You quoted this - 'that sort of bloke is what a bar girl is for'

Please allow me to re-state the entire quote - '.....because a good Thai girl does not deserve to be 'caught' by such a slob - that sort of bloke is what a bar girl is for.'

 

What I meant by that was that a naive inexperienced good Thai girl, would be massively taken advantage of, by the type of bloke I was describing - a slob yobbo ahole.  He was who I was criticising - not the bargirl/s. Because only an 'experienced' Thai girl (especially a bar girl) would be able to deal with a bloke like that and not be severely upset - and take all his money if she wanted to.  I then said - 'and if he changed and treated her right - AND she is a 'good one' - meaning that there are quite a few good ones that do not rip off their Expat.  But lets get real - most Expats that do get ripped off by the girl - are ripped off by an 'experienced' Thai girl - and often that is by a bar-girl.

 

You also pointed out how bad western women can be - I dont know how you thought I have any other view. That is exactly why I had a vasectomy and was not interested at all in getting re-married to a 'western' woman after being divorced (financially raped) for doing nothing wrong other than being 'boring and absent' (working 60+ hours a week making money). Lets not go back there - but I waited almost 10 years before finding a 'good girl' in Thailand, because it is far easier and 'safer' than trying to do so in Australia, or any 'western' country.  

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On 11/14/2023 at 9:36 PM, TroubleandGrumpy said:

Mate I stopped reading after a short while - you need to take a chill pill buddy - you have got it all wrong - 'arse about' as we say.

You are massively over-reacting and taking massive offence on behalf of your wife - but there is no need. 

 

Firstly, I am not taking offence of any kind on behalf of my wife, just sick and tired of this "bargirls" this, "bargirls" that, it starts to sound like a broken record player is you follow all the comments here on "bargirls", ok, I can see how I read it the wrong way and chill pills don't work on me, I'm like a bull, wave the rad flag and it's straight to it, maybe a Vigra will help.

 

On 11/14/2023 at 9:36 PM, TroubleandGrumpy said:

I refuse to answer all your tirade - just the first part - but I do accept that perhaps I did write that a bit poorly.

 

That or I read it, as you say, 'arse about' which got my nickers in a knot.

 

On 11/14/2023 at 9:36 PM, TroubleandGrumpy said:

However, if you re-read it again after reading my explanation below, you will understand that I diod not mean what you thought.

 

You quoted this - 'that sort of bloke is what a bar girl is for'

Please allow me to re-state the entire quote - '.....because a good Thai girl does not deserve to be 'caught' by such a slob - that sort of bloke is what a bar girl is for.'

 

On 11/14/2023 at 9:36 PM, TroubleandGrumpy said:

What I meant by that was that a naive inexperienced good Thai girl, would be massively taken advantage of, by the type of bloke I was describing - a slob yobbo ahole.  He was who I was criticising - not the bargirl/s. Because only an 'experienced' Thai girl (especially a bar girl) would be able to deal with a bloke like that and not be severely upset - and take all his money if she wanted to.  I then said - 'and if he changed and treated her right - AND she is a 'good one' - meaning that there are quite a few good ones that do not rip off their Expat.  But lets get real - most Expats that do get ripped off by the girl - are ripped off by an 'experienced' Thai girl - and often that is by a bar-girl.

 

 

That makes better sense now.

 

On 11/14/2023 at 9:36 PM, TroubleandGrumpy said:

You also pointed out how bad western women can be - I dont know how you thought I have any other view. That is exactly why I had a vasectomy and was not interested at all in getting re-married to a 'western' woman after being divorced (financially raped) for doing nothing wrong other than being 'boring and absent' (working 60+ hours a week making money). Lets not go back there - but I waited almost 10 years before finding a 'good girl' in Thailand, because it is far easier and 'safer' than trying to do so in Australia, or any 'western' country.  

 

Ah yes, we've all been there done that and have put it all behind us, because life is just perfect here for me with my "bargirl" wife, AKA village sl-t as I refer to her every now and again (playfully of course).

 

Didn't mean to go at yah so hard, as I mentioned, it just urks me that "bargirls" get a bad rant here, I have met hundreds and put a few in the sack, can't fault any of them, in my opinion, they are just girls, can't say women, because mentally, they really haven't developed, not criticising them, just my observations from conversations with them over the many years.

 

As I also said, not defending my "bargirl" wife in any way, she had a job, she had a need, it paid her bills, she didn't rip anyone off, she met a farang and has had a life now for the past 17 years that she would not otherwise could have ever imagined, I don't put "bargirls" down, because of their profession, be it short time, long time or whatever, those that do, have a gripe with them and they own it until they let it go, takes two to Tango, only one to be stupid enough to part with his life savings to a female, regardless of profession.

 

:violin:

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2 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

 

Firstly, I am not taking offence of any kind on behalf of my wife, just sick and tired of this "bargirls" this, "bargirls" that, it starts to sound like a broken record player is you follow all the comments here on "bargirls", ok, I can see how I read it the wrong way and chill pills don't work on me, I'm like a bull, wave the rad flag and it's straight to it, maybe a Vigra will help.

 

 

That or I read it, as you say, 'arse about' which got my nickers in a knot.

 

 

 

That makes better sense now.

 

 

Ah yes, we've all been there done that and have put it all behind us, because life is just perfect here for me with my "bargirl" wife, AKA village sl-t as I refer to her every now and again (playfully of course).

 

Didn't mean to go at yah so hard, as I mentioned, it just urks me that "bargirls" get a bad rant here, I have met hundreds and put a few in the sack, can't fault any of them, in my opinion, they are just girls, can't say women, because mentally, they really haven't developed, not criticising them, just my observations from conversations with them over the many years.

 

As I also said, not defending my "bargirl" wife in any way, she had a job, she had a need, it paid her bills, she didn't rip anyone off, she met a farang and has had a life now for the past 17 years that she would not otherwise could have ever imagined, I don't put "bargirls" down, because of their profession, be it short time, long time or whatever, those that do, have a gripe with them and they own it until they let it go, takes two to Tango, only one to be stupid enough to part with his life savings to a female, regardless of profession.

 

:violin:

Pistols at dawn for you two.

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On 11/15/2023 at 6:44 PM, 4MyEgo said:

 

Firstly, I am not taking offence of any kind on behalf of my wife, just sick and tired of this "bargirls" this, "bargirls" that, it starts to sound like a broken record player is you follow all the comments here on "bargirls", ok, I can see how I read it the wrong way and chill pills don't work on me, I'm like a bull, wave the rad flag and it's straight to it, maybe a Vigra will help.

 

That or I read it, as you say, 'arse about' which got my nickers in a knot.

 

That makes better sense now.

 

Ah yes, we've all been there done that and have put it all behind us, because life is just perfect here for me with my "bargirl" wife, AKA village sl-t as I refer to her every now and again (playfully of course).

 

Didn't mean to go at yah so hard, as I mentioned, it just urks me that "bargirls" get a bad rant here, I have met hundreds and put a few in the sack, can't fault any of them, in my opinion, they are just girls, can't say women, because mentally, they really haven't developed, not criticising them, just my observations from conversations with them over the many years.

 

As I also said, not defending my "bargirl" wife in any way, she had a job, she had a need, it paid her bills, she didn't rip anyone off, she met a farang and has had a life now for the past 17 years that she would not otherwise could have ever imagined, I don't put "bargirls" down, because of their profession, be it short time, long time or whatever, those that do, have a gripe with them and they own it until they let it go, takes two to Tango, only one to be stupid enough to part with his life savings to a female, regardless of profession.

:violin:

All good mate - I understand - and in future I will be more careful about using that term.

 

I also agree with your statement about 'the girls' in Thailand - I was with a few many years ago and they were all very nice.  I have also been with a few of them In Ausralia/USA and they are mainly 'not good'.  Like I said I have a mate in your situation and they are going great - the reality is that most girls in thge business are there because they are desperate and it was the only/best option available -  and much of their money goes back to the family, who are often looking after their kid/s.  

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On 4/9/2023 at 11:31 AM, Stevey said:

I’ve chosen to place this here coz my concern is Isaan women. 

Is it just me or…. Has anybody experienced that when you and your Isaan women got together she was lovely but a few years later she is horrible and shouty. Also jobs and modifications and upgrades to her house I did previously were welcome but now now it’s hers and even suggesting planting a new tree causes an argument let alone that I wanted to pay for a digger to make a small borenam to hold some fish on land I paid for. 
 

If anyone had told me that these Isaan women were like this I’d have avoided them like the plague. 

 

Isaan Women, hahaha How about UK, Canadian USA, Italian  etc women . Any woman Or if I am wrong then you tell me of one that is OK

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13 minutes ago, hotandsticky said:

 

 

Yes, that is all very well, but you obviously haven't been taken to the cleaners/dumped like the other poster.....

You are quite correct. I haven't.

 

I know a few that have. Usually because of foolishness, naivety or the feeling of superiority.

 

Posters on forums tend not to post happy stories. They tend to just live their happy lives. I like to occasionally give a shout out from the other side.

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Well I’ve been in the land of Smilers for a few days after 6 months at the UK coal face. The break was essential. I think that living in close proximity to these people with not enough interaction with Falang is a recipe for trouble. Fortunately the Mother to the family next door has passed away a few months ago. She was the one who had an elderly German partner who came here in the hottest weather ever and died after being here a few days. I posted a thread about it asking how he could possibly die and be in a casket so quickly and then go up in smoke.

It was an interesting time. There’s a very strange German guy I see from time to time around the village and it worked out he was friends with the deceased. Trying to get some answers I chased after him when I saw his truck going down the road around the time just before the burning. I followed him to the out skirts of the village and down a track. Where to my surprise and also his I saw him in a small building that appeared to be a full wood working workshop. He was mega shifty and when I asked him some questions about the old German guy and didn’t he think it was weird he was getting burned so quickly? He did this weird slipping in and out out being able to speak English and then not being able to understand a work I was saying. Obviously he was worried about me seeing his secret furniture workshop where he probably makes bespoke pieces to order for the local German  expats.

 

Anyway the old harridan is gone now and I doubt one person is sorry, including her son. She was an absolute nightmare after the Lao Kao was opened. And she Always insisted on talking to me in German even though I told her I can only count to ten in German. 

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17 hours ago, Stevey said:


Don’t really get the context of how this clip relates to Isaan harridans but yow cor beat some Monty Python 

Oops, you are right, my bad. 

I copied the wrong link 

Too late now to edit. 

I'll ask the mods to remove. 

Edited by SAFETY FIRST
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Issan women are some of the most lovely women I have ever encountered. It just depends, there are dreadful women all over the world. Perhaps one needs to step up, and improve the vetting process? Alot of guys fall in love with the idea of being in love. And they devote their heart to a woman who is undeserving. So, the best course of action, is to really take you time to get to know her. Time allows clarity. If it is good it will only get better. If there are problems, they will manifest themselves over time. This is why you do not allow yourself to get emotionally invested, until you know who she is. That takes a year, or two, or longer. If she shows you she is not worthy of your affection, and attention, you walk away.

 

Man up. Pay tribute to your gender. Show yourself some self respect. Do not allow yourself to be abused, and treated like a street dog. 

Edited by spidermike007
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5 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Issan women are some of the most lovely women I have ever encountered. It just depends, there are dreadful women all over the world. Perhaps one needs to step up, and improve the vetting process? Alot of guys fall in love with the idea of being in love. And they devote their heart to a woman who is undeserving. So, the best course of action, is to really take you time to get to know her. Time allows clarity. If it is good it will only get better. If there are problems, they will manifest themselves over time. This is why you do not allow yourself to get emotionally invested, until you know who she is. That takes a year, or two, or longer. If she shows you she is not worthy of your affection, and attention, you walk away.

 

Man up. Pay tribute to your gender. Show yourself some self respect. Do not allow yourself to be abused, and treated like a street dog. 

Solid advice.

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Unbelievable some of you are, relationships start and end all the time so why do you think this one will go the distance? And then you enrich them....whats the saying? treat them mean and keep them keen, in Thailand it means dont pay for anything up front, its a slow drip feed, anyway I wouldn't entertain a relationship if she wasn't employed in some way.

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  • 2 weeks later...

The core problem is that Farang men marry for love, and Isaan women marry for money (with few exceptions). So, when one partner in the relationship is not in love and find themselves living every day with some guy they don't love, the result is massive frustration for the Isaan lady. Some handle it better than others (some can simulate being in love for years), but most hit their limit pretty quickly.

 

One way that Isaan ladies survive their relationships is to have a kik to remove their frustrations.

 

Of course, it's not unusual for an Isaan lady to start the relationship in love, but fall out of love in a few years. The result is frustration.

 

What adds to the problem is that its not unusual for the lady to claim she is too old for sex, even if she is relatively young (and has a kik on the side). The Farang often responds by going to local bars (if there any) to find other women. The Isaan lady is usually okay with that, as long as the ATM still works.

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On 11/4/2023 at 4:01 PM, spidermike007 said:

Many women all over the world are on their best behavior initially, once they have their hooks in you they just don't feel the motivation to continue to behave like decent people, and you start to see who the real person is. This is why I always advocate taking your time, a year, 2 years, 3 years, maybe 5 years to really get another the woman and really get to know who you're dealing with. Her upbringing, her issues, her neurosis, her baggage, how she deals with difficulties and challenges, and whether or not you're able to establish open lines of communication.

 

All of that stuff is essential for a good, healthy long-term relationship. I am with a wonderful woman from Issan, and some of her personal development has come through our discourse and discussions about relationships, and some of it just came from being from a great family and being a wonderful human being. 

 

Don't give up. There are some really good Thai women out there. 

Some Thai women I know treat their Thai husbands like dirt, even though they are very much attached to them. One lady, when she is ready to go home from my condo, phones her husband to come pick her up. When he announces he has arrived, she lets him wait downstairs while she is busy, often for a long time.

 

It may be the case that these Thai ladies support their husbands financially, which may cause a lack of respect for the men.

 

So is not just Farang husbands who are treated like dirt by Isaan ladies.

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4 hours ago, Danderman123 said:

So is not just Farang husbands who are treated like dirt by Isaan ladies.

 

An Ozzie pal - unfortunately died unexpectedly some time ago - told me that you can control the Isaan woman with money.

 

She is a strange beast, he wold say. Always a conflict in her head; with desire, money, food and status fighting for prominence.

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