Challenges facing Thai Women looking for a Western partner.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Goat said:

They talk to each other, see their friends with me etc.

 

You have told us before that the girl you are in a long term relationship was 16 when you met her in a bar. 

 

So to answer Dan's question, why did you choose her over the 600,000 other available women in Bangkok who are gainfully employed?

 

When you have a girlfriend with a job they keep working. If you are in a relationship with a prostitute you either end up paying for her to do nothing or do you let her keep working? i think that is the most obvious disadvantage of committing to a prostitute right?

It seems that will follow me for until I die. But ok, here is my opinion:

 

I like "traditional" relationships. The guy works and makes money. The gf/wife takes care of the house including cooking and cleaning and she has time for me. I earn enough that we don't need a second income. I don't like homework.

My gf stopped working since we are together, now for many years. She is a great cook, and she takes care of our apartment. We often go out together in the morning, lunch, evening, whenever. That is obviously only possible because I work mostly from home (since forever), and she has no obligations herself to be here or there. 

Sometimes I meet friends alone, sometimes she does that, or she drives to the village for a few days, but mostly we are together. Fine with me, fine with her.

 

With my job I go to many offices, and I "meet" many girls and women (and also some guys). I never had the feeling that I would be so much happier with one of those office girls. Many are ok, but kind of boring. I am sure I would miss the fun factor. 

 

But that is obviously only my personal opinion. If people want a hard-working woman, please, go ahead.

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, Goat said:

Which is the sad harsh reality for these women Walker.

Avrage salary Joe from the west can use this advantage to effectively "buy" a south east asian hooker into a life of sexual servitude.

If these girls had a choice they would not be marrying a creepy foreign sex tourist.

The girls have the choice!

Noi from the village can marry Somchai from the village.

Or Noi decides she wants a different life. It's her choice. And most choices and not all good or all bad. There are compromises. 

[BangkokReady]

7 hours ago, Neeranam said:

Have you  ever fallen  in love?

Unlikely.

 

7 hours ago, Neeranam said:

Have you ever felt low self-esteem and increased it with self-righteous judgement?

Almost certainly, and it's not just self-righteous judgement.  It probably relates to the answer to question 1.

[Smokey and the Bandit]

7 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Obviously you've never encountered a western divorce court.

Especially in California!????

[BangkokReady]

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that there is likely a mismatch between the "decent Thai women" who are looking for (presumably successful) foreign men in their age group to marry and the men who marry much younger bargirls, and neither is interested in the other.

 

The women probably want younger and more attractive, and the men want the same. ????‍♂️

 

It's kind of daft to ponder the question "If there are so many Thai women who are not bargirls looking for foreign men, why are there so many foreign men married to bargirls?" without thinking a little about what each group are and want.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, proton said:

Better to marry a Russian than a Thai prostitute, likely to be far better educated and intelligent with interests beyond som tam, family parasites, the lottery and lakorn! It baffles me what westerners hitching up with Thais actually have in common with them. At least Russians are more westernised, you could even talk about Russian literature with one, how many Thai bar girls could even name 3 Thai authors, painters or composers? 

How many of us talk with anybody about literature?

There was a time when I read one book after another, fiction and non-fiction. Sometimes, but seldom, I talk to friends who also like books. I guess that is far below 1% of my conversations. Do I miss it that I don't talk with my gf about a biography of Einstein or the newest Stephen Leather novel? No.

[ICU Kid]

15 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

With my job I go to many offices, and I "meet" many girls and women (and also some guys). I never had the feeling that I would be so much happier with one of those office girls. Many are ok, but kind of boring. I am sure I would miss the fun factor. 

 

I see this too and find many, if not most, 'good girls' here extremely boring..  It's either boink, bowling or cinema - very little in common.   I guess 'bad girls' are more westernised and therefore more relateable.  

[Celsius]

1 minute ago, ICU Kid said:

I see this too and find many, if not most, 'good girls' here extremely boring..  It's either boink, bowling or cinema - very little in common.   I guess 'bad girls' are more westernised and therefore more relateable.  

 

I see this nonsense time and time again from mongers and it is usually something one figures out by their 16th birday.

 

If the girl is boring she is not into you.

 

Bargirls are into you for obvious reasons.

 

Good luck with your dating life.

 

 

[ICU Kid]

1 minute ago, Celsius said:

 

I see this nonsense time and time again from mongers and it is usually something one figures out by their 16th birday.

 

If the girl is boring she is not into you.

 

Bargirls are into you for obvious reasons.

 

Good luck with your dating life.

 

 

Good luck with yer boring wife - Very few 'normal' women in your home country would marry a foreigner - same applies here.  

[Celsius]

Just now, ICU Kid said:

Good luck with yer boring wife - Very few 'normal' women in your home country would marry a foreigner - same applies here.  

 

Quite a few women in Canada marry foreigners....probably even more than boring locals.

 

Another fail.

[ICU Kid]

1 minute ago, Celsius said:

 

Quite a few women in Canada marry foreigners....probably even more than boring locals.

 

Another fail.

TBF Canada is an immigrant country like the US - sorry didn't know u were from there but don't blame u for leaving

[OneMoreFarang]

I wonder if we would ask those hard-working Thai women what they want, what would be the answer?

I guess a variation of: A nice guy with a good job, a family man. We want kids together who go to a good school. And obviously we should live in a nice house or condominium in a nice area. Go to restaurants, holiday, enjoy life.

 

Now a prostitute might say: I want a rich guy.

 

Now compare A to B. Same same, not much different. The 2nd answer just sums it up. 

Edited May 31, 2023 by OneMoreFarang

[Celsius]

Just now, ICU Kid said:

TBF Canada is an immigrant country like the US - sorry didn't know u were from there but don't blame u for leaving

 

You wanna know what annoyed me with your post? Here you go:

 

A lot of you folk who marry bargirls for whatever reason always keep harping about the same thing. "It's none of your business". "Don't be judgemental". "Don't stereotype".

 

But you seem to be too quick to proclaim that "normal" girls are boring. That you probably married someine old and ugly....and my favorite "yours is different". In fact it is the mongers who are always the most hypocfitical and most judgemental.

[ICU Kid]

36 minutes ago, Celsius said:

you seem to be too quick to proclaim that "normal" girls are boring. That you probably married someine old and ugly....and my favorite "yours is different". In fact it is the mongers who are always the most hypocfitical and most judgemental.

It's a generalisation.  Not saying ALL 'good girls' are boring - some are interesting but from what I've seen they don't want much to do with foreigners as there is Thailand is a very conservative country and there is STILL a stigma around dating foreigners in Thailand - same as there is with a white woman dating outside her race in many white countries.

To be clear, I don't make the rules and often don't agree with them but it is what it is.

Exceptions prove the rule

 

PS. Note also that we males also have to deal with a similar stigma since western women & society discourages  tax paying males from holidaying alone or moving to places like Thailand hence the nudge nudge wink wink BS (intended to keep us in place there).

 

PPS. If you're happy that's all that matters.  

 

 

Edited May 31, 2023 by ICU Kid
Addition

[Woof999]

19 minutes ago, Celsius said:

 

You wanna know what annoyed me with your post? Here you go:

 

A lot of you folk who marry bargirls for whatever reason always keep harping about the same thing. "It's none of your business". "Don't be judgemental". "Don't stereotype".

 

But you seem to be too quick to proclaim that "normal" girls are boring. That you probably married someine old and ugly....and my favorite "yours is different". In fact it is the mongers who are always the most hypocfitical and most judgemental.

When all is said and done, it really isn't anyone else's business.

 

How many guys who think they married a "normal" girl know everything about their past? I don't know my wife's complete history 100% and I don't really care. Met her almost 9 years ago and been together pretty much ever since. She's charming and probably the most popular among her wide ranging friends, based on the number of invitations she (and we) get to do things.

 

I know of many girls here who some might call normal who are out on 2 or 3 "dates" each week with different guys, often putting out. When I was in my 20s I'd probably have thought "slag", but since then I've grown up and view all by their individual qualities, not by my own moral standards which, when I'm totally honest, don't really exist.

[bignok]

I don't judge others. Not my business. Life is too short. People get dealt cards and try their best.

[bkk6060]

Marry the cashier, not the bar girl.

[stoner]

not my girl.

[ubonr1971]

9 hours ago, BritManToo said:

A woman's background is no indication of her suitability as a partner.

This is something I have learned but you and Dan haven't.

(Probably because you haven't managed any LTRs)

 

As for marrying bar girls ........ at least you know they will have frequent sex with you.

Something that respectable, educated women from any country generally won't do (often).

 

 

Yes, in the UK I married a young, Christian, virgin schoolteacher .... 30 years of almost no sex.

Yes, in Thailand I married a bar girl, 10 years of sex whenever I wanted it.

 

PS. How do you know your respectable women never worked as prostitutes (unless you met them in high school when they were 12 years old)?

how do you know that your bargirl isn't doing stuff on the side...

[ICU Kid]

2 minutes ago, ubonr1971 said:

how do you know that your bargirl isn't doing stuff on the side...

how do you know that your good girl isn't doing stuff on the side...

[radiochaser]

7 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

How many western guys want a hard-working woman, possibly same age?

And how many just want a hot girl to have fun?

Yes!

[radiochaser]

10 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Obviously you've never encountered a western divorce court.

I did. I was able to have the marriage annulled.  
Without the aid of an attorney!   

[radiochaser]

3 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

How many of us talk with anybody about literature?

There was a time when I read one book after another, fiction and non-fiction. Sometimes, but seldom, I talk to friends who also like books. I guess that is far below 1% of my conversations. Do I miss it that I don't talk with my gf about a biography of Einstein or the newest Stephen Leather novel? No.

There was a time I read books one after the other too.   The only person I talked with about books was the librarian as in, has that book come in from the other library yet?

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, ubonr1971 said:

how do you know that your bargirl isn't doing stuff on the side...

how do you know that your whatever girl isn't doing stuff on the side...

[Hummin]

3 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I wonder if we would ask those hard-working Thai women what they want, what would be the answer?

I guess a variation of: A nice guy with a good job, a family man. We want kids together who go to a good school. And obviously we should live in a nice house or condominium in a nice area. Go to restaurants, holiday, enjoy life.

 

Now a prostitute might say: I want a rich guy.

 

Now compare A to B. Same same, not much different. The 2nd answer just sums it up. 

I met an expat telling me how he found a woman with respectable work, and never paid a thing. His wife was listening, and here comes the funny part, western men do not like the idea to pay, and a Thai woman, do not like the idea to be a cheap woman. Think about it, and you know Im right, no Thai woman do not line the idea of not being worth anything. She replied to his statement, you paid for education for two of my boys, and bought a taxi for my oldest son, motorbikes and you also bought me a house, and that was the end of the conversation.

 

We all  create our own little world and our own reality.

 

These threads are just bull pie contests, nothing else, and Dan the man, gets a view or two more. 

 

 

Edited May 31, 2023 by Hummin

[it is what it is]

19 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

how do you know that your whatever girl isn't doing stuff on the side...

how does anyone anywhere know their partner is not doing 'stuff' on the side? happens the world over.

 

my tuppence worth; over 20 years on and off in thailand, never paid for anyone to be my girlfriend/friend, never been expected to pay, usually dated thai chinese, have dated lawyers, doctor, physiotherapist, car designer, hospital director, business owners, am currently dating a business owner, 15 years my junior, educated in australia and france, flies regularly for work to aus/usa/uk in business class.

 

basically i date similar women here that i dated back home.
 

[OneMoreFarang]

29 minutes ago, it is what it is said:

how does anyone anywhere know their partner is not doing 'stuff' on the side? happens the world over.

 

my tuppence worth; over 20 years on and off in thailand, never paid for anyone to be my girlfriend/friend, never been expected to pay, usually dated thai chinese, have dated lawyers, doctor, physiotherapist, car designer, hospital director, business owners, am currently dating a business owner, 15 years my junior, educated in australia and france, flies regularly for work to aus/usa/uk in business class.

 

basically i date similar women here that i dated back home.
 

Can you just f#%@ those women? Or do they expect hours of conversation about art and literature before and after? 

[NORDO]

Lived with Thai gal three years, then married in Vegas for 300USD.    After the official voiced the chain and ball commitment of you are now man and wife, she whispered to me “ now your dolla my dolla”.

 

took it as a joke, however the atmosphere became very cloudy as every other question “ how much u got”.

 

this is a gal from a good South family.  Two university degrees, long time job, never dated much.   She was 39 years then..   Not a pub girl, though she enjoyed porn very much.

 

after four days of financial interrogations, I contacted a local divorce attorney and he had his paralegal draw up dissolution papers and filed them.    Took two months and about 3k quid.  She challenged it in court but did not retain legal services as she was now in BK and thb pipeline dried up.

 

bottom line ,  I spent about 48k quid on her over three years.   Holiday girl at three times a week, plus expenses would have amounted to the same .    As well, new model as you desired. 
 

Marriage is an outdated concept that has nothing to do with commitment and companionship. It’s all about politicians and preachers controlling your life.   
 

working girl, pub girl, 40 year old virgin or even ladyboy (yuk) ,  if there is a true bond based on love and trust between u, marriage is more of a threat to ur relationship.   Some gals view it as an ace in the hole when comes to splitting up.

 

 

 

 

[BarraMarra]

7 hours ago, Goat said:

The good thing about those sites is you can give a clear description of what you want.

I put no tattoos, no smokers, no SOCKS, nothing overweight, nothing over 40, no prostitutes etc

It isnt full proof but it helps. And write it in Thai so they cant say they didnt understand.

I still occassionally get tattooed ladyboy hookers contacting me, but you just learn to sort through the chaff.

The problem Goat is that the sites are in English, not in Thai, same as if I looked on a Chinese site, I wouldn't expect to speak Mandarin.

[ICU Kid]

7 hours ago, it is what it is said:

..over 20 years on and off in thailand, never paid for anyone to be my girlfriend/friend, never been expected to pay, usually dated thai chinese, have dated lawyers, doctor, physiotherapist, car designer, hospital director, business owners, am currently dating a business owner, 15 years my junior, educated in australia and france, flies regularly for work to aus/usa/uk in business class.

What specifically do you think attracts all these high class women to you?