Age gap relationships might seem wrong, but they work. Trust me

[KhunLA]

1 hour ago, bignok said:

Read the links. Women say 30s is sexual prime.

Not sure about that, as many may hit their sexual prime, after menopause, as no fear of pregnancy.   Not all can or want to use birth control.

 

Which could present a problem with a large age gap, for men with BHP & ED, and or on med that may keep them alive, but interfere with 'performance' ????

 

Men with finances get their 'trophy wife'

Women with finances get their 'boy toy'

[bignok]

1 minute ago, KhunLA said:

Not sure about that, as many may hit their sexual prime, after menopause, as no fear of pregnancy.   Not all can or want to use birth control.

 

Which could present a problem with a large age gap, for men with BHP & ED, and or on med that may keep them alive, but interfere with 'performance' ????

 

Men with finances get their 'trophy wife'

Women with finances get their 'boy toy'

Most women told me sex interest falls after menopause.

[bignok]

The loss of estrogen and testosterone following menopause can lead to changes in a woman's body and sexual drive. Menopausal and postmenopausal women may notice that they're not as easily aroused, and they may be less sensitive to touching and stroking. That can lead to less interest in sex.

 

https://www.webmd.com/menopause/guide/sex-menopause

[OneMoreFarang]

11 minutes ago, bignok said:

Wanting kids and wanting lots of sex are 2 different things.

Biologically: No

The desire to have sex exist to produce babies.

[OneMoreFarang]

12 minutes ago, bignok said:

Survival is mostly about food and shelter. Not sure what kids has to do with it.

Survival and existence for generations. Lots of kids, lots of possibility of spreading the genes. Repeat.

That's biology 101. It's not that complicated.

[bignok]

1 minute ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Biologically: No

The desire to have sex exist to produce babies.

People with no kids have more sex. A couple with 5 kids will be having far less sex than a couple with no kids. 

 

Also a 20yo women is likely to get pregnant more quickly than a 35yo woman so less sex is required.

 

 

[bignok]

Just now, OneMoreFarang said:

Survival and existence for generations. Lots of kids, lots of possibility of spreading the genes. Repeat.

That's biology 101. It's not that complicated.

That's old school thinking. Has little to do with reality. A single guy with no kids can sleep with 800 women. He can use condoms. A guy with 5 kids is likely to be working more to pay for the kids and is more tired and less ability to have sex.

 

 

[KhunLA]

13 minutes ago, bignok said:

Most women told me sex interest falls after menopause.

I heard the opposite from them, in USA ... go figure.

Edited June 2, 2023 by KhunLA

[bignok]

1 minute ago, KhunLA said:

I heard the opposite from them, in USA ... go figure.

Read the studies. Hormones go down after menopausem

[KhunLA]

Just now, bignok said:

Read the studies. Hormones go down after menopausem

I don't go by studies or polls, as I didn't asked the questions.   I go by what women told me.  Most enjoying the relaxed, now worry free feeling, and getting their freak on, is way may enjoyable.   

[Walker88]

1 hour ago, GinBoy2 said:

Take the money out of it, and whats left?

 

Few women are attracted to men old enough to be the father or grandfather, hard truth, but I'd suggest it is the real truth.

 

Ever come across a poverty level 60 year man old with a 20 something woman?

 

Of course you haven't, it just doesn't exist

Many young women are attracted to considerably older men, and it's not just because of the Electra Complex. Instinct is sometimes at play.

 

A very fit and healthy older man is suggestive of a strong genetic makeup, and women seek a partner with strong genes to mate, as that gives her offspring the best chance at survival. Money might be important, but for this instinctual drive, only in the sense that a man generally needs to be skilled/bright/ambitious/etc. to be wealthy, and intelligence is something indicative of a good genetic makeup.

 

For men who enjoy the company of young women, there is no better incentive to be in shape and stay in shape as one ages. If you're in your 30s or 40s, get that gym membership now and use it. Work hard and make a lot of money, too. That might allow you to be a stud muffin into your 50s and even 60s.

[Walker88]

16 hours ago, giddyup said:

So, according to you, "she" has a choice, but would prefer to sell her body because it pays more. That's her choice and I don't knock it, but nobody has a gun held to their head. Good looking, uneducated women everywhere are faced with the same choices when they hit the big city, and a lot of them end up selling their bodies, not just in Thailand.

She has a Hobson's choice of letting her family down, or doing whatever she can to provide for her child.

 

I am not qualified to look down on what she does, because I never faced anything close to that. I could also be open to falling in love with her if she had qualities I admire. What she did to make ends meet is not for me to judge. What I can judge is how she relates to me, the character and traits she has that appeal to me, and how we get along. I wouldn't close the door on a woman simply because of her background. As I wrote earlier, I am not a virgin, and sometimes I have engaged in non-paid sex simply because I was in the mood for sex. I do not consider that sort of sex in any way morally superior to a woman who seeks money to take care of her child.

[OneMoreFarang]

40 minutes ago, bignok said:

That's old school thinking. Has little to do with reality. A single guy with no kids can sleep with 800 women. He can use condoms. A guy with 5 kids is likely to be working more to pay for the kids and is more tired and less ability to have sex.

Thinking?

What does the desire for sex have to do with thinking?

If you think guys think if they want to have sex, then think again. 

[JimTripper]

23 hours ago, Walker88 said:

Not in Pattaya, but in Bangkok I've seen very fit and well-kept older foreign gentlemen walking or dining with lovely, early-20s Thai women. Age gap could be 40 years. Sometimes it looks rather elegant. The two seem....what's the word....happy.

 

Life could be worse...for both of them.

Raising children is difficult.

Edited June 2, 2023 by JimTripper

[spidermike007]

Granted, even though my wife is very smart, I do not get much intellectual stimulation from the relationship. But, I get so much else. And in all of the relationships I was ever in with really smart women, who I got intellectual stimulation from, there was also so much grief to contend with. Such combative women. So much competition. Always a debate. Yikes. Thrilled to have left all of that behind.

When I was only in this relationship with my wife, for a year, I had dinner with a very sharp American friend. I asked him about that. Told him I was concerned. I needed more intellectual conversation. He laughed. He said, when you feel the need for intellectual stimulation, call me. We can hook up for the meal, and break down the origins of the cosmos., our species, fusion energy, or philosophy. Do not fret. That same brain that gives you that stimulation, also tends to give you so much grief, it is not worth it, on any level. Get over it. Enjoy all of the other qualities, that make your day so delightful and fulfilling. Great advice, that I have followed to this day. And so many years later, she is still utterly delightful, on a daily basis. Never had that in the West, nor with a woman my age. 

 

When I first got with my Thai woman, it took alot of adjustment for her to start behaving like a mature woman. She was also very clingy, possessive and jealous. It just did not work for me. Never been my style. I explained to her, that I would not tolerate that kind of childish nonsense, and that if she wanted the relationship to work, she would need to figure out a way to modify her behavior. She did. She was amazing. Granted this will likely only work with a younger woman, as the older ones are far more set in their ways, less open minded, and less capable of change and improvement. The younger ones are more open minded, and less rigid. 

We now enjoy a very independent relationship, even though we live together. She hangs out with her friends most of the day. I hang out with mine whenever I want. I am able to enjoy alot of solo time, and need that. She takes trips and so do I, and we are sometimes apart for days at a time. We both love our independence, and have been together for many years now. It is a wonderful lifestyle, something NONE of my friends enjoy. Rather ideal, on alot of levels.

It started by being assertive, laying down some ground rules, and sticking with what works for me. For the more docile guys, this kind of thing would never work, as they would allow the juvenile jealousy and possessive lifestyle of the woman to dominate their lives. No thanks. Would rather be single, than tolerate this kind of thing. 

Early on in our relationship my wife and I discussed the wonders and value of independence. She did not understand at first, as it is inherent within the nature of most Thais to be overly possessive, jealous and clingy. I told her I would much rather be dead, than live that life. She got it. And now we both adore the independence we have to this day.

Some accept the nonsense. Some fight it and carve out their dream reality. It is possible.

 

 

 

[bignok]

34 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Thinking?

What does the desire for sex have to do with thinking?

If you think guys think if they want to have sex, then think again. 

They didnt have viagra, condoms, internet dating or drugs to treat stds 500 years ago. Elite aside people would have been struggling to live. No time or energy for much sex.

[JimTripper]

3 hours ago, phetphet said:

Rich old men will always be attractive to certain types of young women.. Nothing wrong with it apart from for any children, who might lose their father earlier than most

 

Ronnie Wood, Woody Allen, Rupert Murdoch. Donald Trump are a few other examples.

Is it the money? Fame? Power? Or just true love?

 

There was a question once asked in an interview, I think it was of Anna Nicole Smith, but might be wrong, along the lines of, " What was it about the billionaire J Howard Marshall that made you want to marry him?"

 

As long as they're happy, what difference does it make?

The idea is that they are not really happy. They paired up for something external (money) so are just tolerating each others presence to enjoy that external thing. If your just tolerating something it’s like working a dead end job, your not really happy.

 

Any enjoyment will be directed to the thing (money) and not the other person. The person cannot be absolutely equated with the side benefit, it will never be him or her, only something they own.

 

In other words, positive interaction with the partner is faked, in order to enjoy the side benefit.

Edited June 2, 2023 by JimTripper

[Walker88]

50 minutes ago, bignok said:

They didnt have viagra, condoms, internet dating or drugs to treat stds 500 years ago. Elite aside people would have been struggling to live. No time or energy for much sex.

Up until very recently, and in some places still today, none of what you mention is available. Consider rural Niger. Or Mali, Chad, Somalia, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Not much Viagra there, nor condoms, nor drugs to treat STDs. Also, most days are spent finding the day's calories. Everybody is tired, but the men still find a way to boom boom, as these nations have the highest fertility rates in the world.

 

Unlikely there is a whole lot of romance involved. Daddy just sticks it in and finishes while Mom just wants to sleep. The other kids in the room sleep through it.

 

The world actually has less sex now than in the past. (Personally, I try to maintain the higher averages, but I can't do it alone.)

[Neeranam]

2 hours ago, Walker88 said:

Many young women are attracted to considerably older men, and it's not just because of the Electra Complex. Instinct is sometimes at play.

 

A very fit and healthy older man is suggestive of a strong genetic makeup, and women seek a partner with strong genes to mate, as that gives her offspring the best chance at survival. Money might be important, but for this instinctual drive, only in the sense that a man generally needs to be skilled/bright/ambitious/etc. to be wealthy, and intelligence is something indicative of a good genetic makeup.

 

For men who enjoy the company of young women, there is no better incentive to be in shape and stay in shape as one ages. If you're in your 30s or 40s, get that gym membership now and use it. Work hard and make a lot of money, too. That might allow you to be a stud muffin into your 50s and even 60s.

Only an old man would say this ???? 

[Neeranam]

15 minutes ago, Walker88 said:

The world actually has less sex now than in the past. (Personally, I try to maintain the higher averages, but I can't do it alone.)

People are addicted to their telephone, really, it's very sad.

[bignok]

45 minutes ago, Walker88 said:

Everybody is tired, but the men still find a way to boom boom, as these nations have the highest fertility rates in the world.

Far less contraceptions used. 

[richard_smith237]

10 hours ago, ICU Kid said:

I think those who admit to fancying women in their sexual prime more than older ladies are being honest *with themselves*. 

Whereas, imho, those who are saying they prefer eg. 50 year olds to 25 yr olds are probably kidding themselves and then trying to kid/virue signal to other members.

I get that...   from a physical only perspective, I prefer my Wife when we met in our early 30’s, I’m sure she'd prefer me too....   Had we met in our 20’s it's unlikely our relationship would have lasted.

 

So, on the subject of ‘fancying woman’ (physical attraction) alone... I’d agree with you and most posters that women in their 20’s are physically more attractive...  

 

BUT.. the topic is ‘relationships’...   most guys are evaluating this topic form the ‘rabbit’ perspective (eats, roots, shoots and leaves)...  i.e. bang-em and go...  thats not a relationship. 

 

 

10 hours ago, ICU Kid said:

To be honest, if I reach really old bones I'm pretty sure I'll still fancy women in their sexual prime - it's hard wired into most males imho. 

Agreed...  but again, that wouldn’t be a relationship.

 

10 hours ago, ICU Kid said:

However, assuming 24 year olds aren't an option I could might rationalise it by saying "it's awful", "I'd never do that",  "how dare you" (in a Greta voice) in an effort to convince myself I'm better off with an old one or single. 

Sour grapes and all that.

Agreed.... whatever makes people happy...  However, some guys only want sex, they don’t see any rewarding companionship in female company. 

 

10 hours ago, ICU Kid said:

To be fair to older women and their fans on here they are in theory at least better company though.  Whatever makes you happy though

Again, agreed, the subject matter has been distorted somewhat,... no one ‘chooses an older lady’...  however, many would be foolish to give up what they have in a mutually caring and respectful genuine relationship for a bit of rumpy-pumpy with someone younger who’s only real interest in you is financial security. 

 

10 hours ago, ICU Kid said:

Bonus, just for fun (edit: wow, whoever invented feminism did such a number on these poor women - just as washing machines, vacuum cleaners and other labour saving devices were invented too : / 

 

[richard_smith237]

1 hour ago, Neeranam said:

3 hours ago, Walker88 said:

Many young women are attracted to considerably older men, and it's not just because of the Electra Complex. Instinct is sometimes at play.

 

A very fit and healthy older man is suggestive of a strong genetic makeup, and women seek a partner with strong genes to mate, as that gives her offspring the best chance at survival. Money might be important, but for this instinctual drive, only in the sense that a man generally needs to be skilled/bright/ambitious/etc. to be wealthy, and intelligence is something indicative of a good genetic makeup.

 

For men who enjoy the company of young women, there is no better incentive to be in shape and stay in shape as one ages. If you're in your 30s or 40s, get that gym membership now and use it. Work hard and make a lot of money, too. That might allow you to be a stud muffin into your 50s and even 60s.

Only an old man would say this ???? 

Absolutely agree....   So many ‘older guys’ in this thread with a complete misread on reality and are pulling the wool over their own eyes. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Chelseafan]

Surely the bigger concern is for the child in that they are likely to grow up without their father. The average age of death for men in the US is 76 to which bother have surpassed this. That's not fair on the child IMHO.

 

[Walker88]

1 hour ago, Neeranam said:

Only an old man would say this ???? 

Actually, it's borne out in research, I think some by E.O. Wilson, the father of Sociobiology

 

I read an article about that a few years ago, and it became additional motivation to stay in shape, so when I reach older age I might still be appealing.

[Felton Jarvis]

9 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

Take the money out of it, and whats left?

 

Few women are attracted to men old enough to be the father or grandfather, hard truth, but I'd suggest it is the real truth.

 

Ever come across a poverty level 60 year man old with a 20 something woman?

 

Of course you haven't, it just doesn't exist

As a 73 year-old man living with a 46 year-old Thai woman. I can ASSURE you, that I would not find the same deal if I did not have a nice retirement income.  The norms in Thailand would be exactly like those in the United States if Thai people made the same income as US citizens.

[BritManToo]

5 hours ago, Walker88 said:

The world actually has less sex now than in the past. (Personally, I try to maintain the higher averages, but I can't do it alone.)

The western world actually has less sex now than in the past. Which is why we all moved to Thailand. 

[richard_smith237]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

The western world actually has less sex now than in the past. Which is why we all moved to Thailand. 

Project much ?

[Fat is a type of crazy]

I think the advantages and disadvantages are pretty obvious. Can you imagine being with a 25 year old who needs to take a photo of everything and is constantly on social media and talks about nothing but trivialities and the constant theme is how beautiful she is and how you love her so much. Some older ones aren't much better these days. 

Mine was fun and pretty down to earth but being Thai and young there is still a certain gap that can't be filled. No need for intellectual chat as I dont go for that much in any case but it's nice to have some similar history and understanding of things and how the world works. But the young ones are certainly fun and appealing in other ways. 

[BritManToo]

3 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Project much ?

You've never had sex in Thailand?