You are the prize! She is not. It's about you, not her. Change your attitude!

[DudleySquat]

6 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I see from your post count that you not speaking from your extensive knowledge of Thailand gleaned from decades of hard won experience, but must be making some sort of joke.

 

555

 

Inversely, I can look at your POST count and wonder what type of life you have.  You're so wrong on all things, but you must think that a bad experience many times somehow equals a good experience. 

 

I know quite a few pilots have amassed thousands of hours, and yet they are not good pilots.  We call them pilots with 100 hours of experience at a time. They never learn anything beyond the 100 hours, and they do it repeatedly.  Your post above shows you feel some superiority for wasting so much of your life posting here. 

 

I wouldn't brag about it. 

 

Start a GoFundMe, and I'll be the first to contribute. You need serious help. 

 

 

Edited January 11 by DudleySquat

[BritManToo]

7 hours ago, sidjameson said:

What year was that? I'm literally sat with my girl now in the ministry of education canteen where she works and all her colleagues are exceptionally friendly to us. 

Don't think dating a dinner lady is that big a boast!

[DudleySquat]

On 1/8/2024 at 7:11 PM, BritManToo said:

I'm not sure any man can have a relationship with any female without paying for it. The only difference is her payment plan.

 

This sentence makes no sense. 

[DudleySquat]

12 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Just curious. Why would any Thai woman want to get involved with any farang man of any age unless they perceive some benefit from doing so?

 

Your ability to state the obvious and yet not see it is amazing. 

 

"Why would any woman want to get involved with any man if there was no perceived benefit?"

Edited January 11 by DudleySquat

[MangoKorat]

9 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

If children involved the wife normally gets the kids and the house till they grow up, after which the house has to be sold and proceeds split.

I'm a great believer in renting for that reason.

The above is broadly true in the UK.  Where there are no kids involved, there is also a widely held belief that the wife gets 50% which is not true.  There are various factors that are taken into account when considering the amount a spouse is due.

 

Perhaps the most interesting one will be of interest to some members here - obviously this can work both ways but it is often the case that men in the UK marry a much younger woman from Thailand who then moves to the UK to be with her husband.  When calculating any share out, the financial impact and the time available to recover from that impact is taken into consideration.

 

In layman's terms, if a man is say 55 years old he has 12 years left to retirement age (67 now I believe). If his wife is 35, she has 32 years left until retirement and therefore has much longer in which to earn a salary and therefore much longer to recover from any financial impact caused by the divorce. The duration of the marriage will also weigh heavily on the financial settlement granted by a UK divorce court. Those married for a short time are very unlikely to get much at all in any settlement, especially if they hadn't put much in at the start.

 

9 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

If children involved the wife normally gets the kids and the house till they grow up, after which the house has to be sold and proceeds split.

I'm a great believer in renting for that reason.

Personally I would have no problem with that if I had kids and got divorced.  My main consideration would be my kids and it must be remembered that in a lot of cases, the wife does the vast majority of child rearing.

Edited January 11 by MangoKorat

[MangoKorat]

5 hours ago, noobexpat said:

Doesn't exist in UK

Not in legal terms but a 'common law wife' may not be totally excluded from a financial claim in any break up.  If for example, she can show that she has contributed to paying the mortgage, she may well have a claim over the house - and rightly so I'd say (in most cases).

 

Where 'common law wives' really lose out is when their partner dies without a will and has not diovorced a previous lawful wife.  That happened with a friend of mine to, his (total bitch) 'wife' who he had broken up with 2 or 3 years previously, stepped in when he died intestate, kicked his girlfriend out of the house, took possession and eventually sold it. His girlfriend got nothing.

[MangoKorat]

15 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I disagree about the language thing. IMO it's more that they know how other Thais will regard them if they do take up with a farang man.

I've had personal experience of that with a Thai woman that was willing to go out with me, just as long as we didn't actually walk together in public.

That's a very old view and would also very much depend on where you live/hang out.  I haven't come across anything like that for many years.  In rural Thailand however, there can be a suspicion that the girl must have 'worked bar' in order to meet a foreigner.  A few older people in the village where my current girlfriend lives are totally baffled, she works for the local Amphur and has barely set foot outside the village for years - how can she have met a foreigner?

 

In general though, I haven't come across that kind of attitude for many years.

 

I can't speak for others but I can tell you 100% that in my case, things changed massively once I made the effort to learn some Thai.

[drgoon]

On 1/7/2024 at 10:04 PM, DudleySquat said:

 

You don't understand my original post.  One member got it. One.  Only one! 

 

Let me put it a different way - Men, real men who come here, need to stop being such pussies or pushovers. I am amazed that people who lived in the West made money, maybe raised a child or two, allowed toothless papas to dictate what they did, and made them conform to third-world customs. 

 

What about our customs? If women want a foreigner, which is the first gate, they need to learn our customs. 

 

It's the same when I see a Brit riding with his child in front of him on a motorbike. The child has no helmet. Where did this Brit learn to do like this? In Britain? I doubt it.  The last Brit I ran into had his little airbag before him. 

 

When did he learn to be stupid? Would he drive around with his baby in Britain?  No. 

 

When my boy was a baby, his mother wanted to take him on the motorbike, saying she wasn't going far. 

 

NO. 

 

She is now married to another American as of last month, and he got the 3.0 version. She is quite a prize, but she didn't start that way. Again, 3.0 version. She is fluent in English, has learned many of our ways, and agrees our way is better.  I wish them the best of luck. 

 

I have three women.  Yes, 3. I spend time with each of them, and they all know each other. 

 

45, 40, and 38. My 45-year-old looks 35. All speak English now, and they are all learning a different way of living. 

 

I tell everyone that Thailand is outside my front doors. Inside the condos, we are Americans. We make decisions as Americans, not Thai. 

 

I could go on. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sour grapes? No. 

Yep...  Sour as Tamarind. 😊 Just joking 

Edited January 12 by drgoon

[it is what it is]

 

it amazes me how many foreign men and the occasional foreign woman, who usually hold all the financial and educational cards, cede power and control within a relationship to their other half. low self esteem, low feeling of self worth, the desperation to be liked and ego flattery are, i suggest, to blame. but, as long as the guys are happy then horses for courses. not for me though.

 

[it is what it is]

 

quick true story. an ex gf, a university graduate with middle management job, told me she could expect a sinsot of around 200k, however would be happy to marry without sinsot to the right guy.

 

she married a european guy and talked him into paying 2.4 million sinsot. the result of this is that she, and her family, have zero respect for him. she openly calls him a fool. at family gatherings her relatives mock him for being a fool. he no doubt believes they adore and respect him because he is soooo generous. 

[noobexpat]

2 hours ago, it is what it is said:

 

she married a european guy and talked him into paying 2.4 million sinsot. the result of this is that she, and her family, have zero respect for him. she openly calls him a fool. at family gatherings her relatives mock him for being a fool. he no doubt believes they adore and respect him because he is soooo generous. 

 

It amazes me how many blokes believe the stories from a thai girl 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

20 hours ago, noobexpat said:

 

Strange assumption from a post count. 

14 years visiting and still under age 50.

 

Any thai girlfriend who thinks they could disrespect me, like you were, would never be allowed in my vicinity again.

 

My standards are high and rightly so. I have it all.

Soooo, almost a newcomer to LOS then?

 

You should have been in LOS last century when it really was a great country to visit/ live in. IMO it's gone down hill a lot since 2000, but I'd still rather live there than here.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, noobexpat said:

 

It amazes me how many blokes believe the stories from a thai girl 

 

It's called "wishful thinking", and caused by them probably being the first female that was actually nice to them. That's how it was for me when I first arrived in paradise.

[thaibeachlovers]

3 hours ago, it is what it is said:

 

quick true story. an ex gf, a university graduate with middle management job, told me she could expect a sinsot of around 200k, however would be happy to marry without sinsot to the right guy.

 

she married a european guy and talked him into paying 2.4 million sinsot. the result of this is that she, and her family, have zero respect for him. she openly calls him a fool. at family gatherings her relatives mock him for being a fool. he no doubt believes they adore and respect him because he is soooo generous. 

If that is true, he is a fool and it's fools like him that give Thai women the idea that all farangs are fools.

[thaibeachlovers]

4 hours ago, it is what it is said:

 

it amazes me how many foreign men and the occasional foreign woman, who usually hold all the financial and educational cards, cede power and control within a relationship to their other half. low self esteem, low feeling of self worth, the desperation to be liked and ego flattery are, i suggest, to blame. but, as long as the guys are happy then horses for courses. not for me though.

 

Yup, the guys when they arrive are the usual brainwashed beaten down males that grew up in western countries and are amazed when they arrive in Thailand and find women that don't actually treat them badly, and are even nice to them.

[thaibeachlovers]

15 hours ago, MangoKorat said:

That's a very old view and would also very much depend on where you live/hang out.  I haven't come across anything like that for many years.  In rural Thailand however, there can be a suspicion that the girl must have 'worked bar' in order to meet a foreigner.  A few older people in the village where my current girlfriend lives are totally baffled, she works for the local Amphur and has barely set foot outside the village for years - how can she have met a foreigner?

 

In general though, I haven't come across that kind of attitude for many years.

 

I can't speak for others but I can tell you 100% that in my case, things changed massively once I made the effort to learn some Thai.

I can't speak for others but I can tell you 100% that in my case, things changed massively once I made the effort to learn some Thai.

 

I speak Thai, but the women I liked all spoke English better than I spoke Thai so I rarely got to use it.

It's not like I wanted to discuss philosophy or the origins of the universe with them.

[thaibeachlovers]

18 hours ago, DudleySquat said:

 

This sentence makes no sense. 

You read it but did you understand it? 555555555555555.

[thaibeachlovers]

18 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Don't think dating a dinner lady is that big a boast!

Good one!

[thaibeachlovers]

18 hours ago, DudleySquat said:

 

Inversely, I can look at your POST count and wonder what type of life you have.  You're so wrong on all things, but you must think that a bad experience many times somehow equals a good experience. 

 

I know quite a few pilots have amassed thousands of hours, and yet they are not good pilots.  We call them pilots with 100 hours of experience at a time. They never learn anything beyond the 100 hours, and they do it repeatedly.  Your post above shows you feel some superiority for wasting so much of your life posting here. 

 

I wouldn't brag about it. 

 

Start a GoFundMe, and I'll be the first to contribute. You need serious help. 

 

 

Thank you so much. I'll send you the details post haste

 

I got most of my post count in a job where I had loads of time to post over several years.

 

Most of the rest came when I lived in Chiang Mai and didn't have enough left after the divorce to go out much.

There were many years I never had access to the internet at all.

[richard_smith237]

26 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

19 hours ago, DudleySquat said:

 

Inversely, I can look at your POST count and wonder what type of life you have. 

 

 

I got most of my post count in a job where I had loads of time to post over several years.

 

 

Agreed......

.... Plenty of people have jobs and positions which include plenty of  'flat time' which allows plenty of time online....    use of such to accuse other posters of having no life outside of this forum is flawed and a rather weak attempted at point-scoring.... 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

5 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Agreed......

.... Plenty of people have jobs and positions which include plenty of  'flat time' which allows plenty of time online....    use of such to accuse other posters of having no life outside of this forum is flawed and a rather weak attempted at point-scoring.... 

 

Thanks for pointing that out. While I was doing that job almost all my forum time was at work. I spent time on the internet outside of work too, but some internet use is not acceptable on a work computer.

[richard_smith237]

I partially disagree with the 'you are the prize she is not' comment... 

 

Theoretically, if a couple are both well matched, they are both the prize for each other... 

 

When couples are well matched from a socio-economical-educational perspective whose personalities balance each other then surely both parties are winners.... 

 

Much of the discussion on these forums is based solely on the perspective that the guy is older and dating a destitute younger female who is seeking financial security above all else...  the reality is quite different and as with all relationships there is a huge spectrum across society.

 

 

One thing I think is important in all (heterosexual) relationships is for the male to maintain his self respect and masculinity and the female to maintain her self respect and femininity... mutual respect is incredibly important in the success of any relationship - we can see this in the bitter and twisted comments of some who's relationships have repeatedly broken down, its clearly to most others except them as to why.

 

I'd struggle to have complete respect for someone less equal than I from a socio-economic-educational perspective, but thats just a personal choice.

 

 

 

 

[BritManToo]

17 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Agreed......

.... Plenty of people have jobs and positions which include plenty of  'flat time' which allows plenty of time online....    use of such to accuse other posters of having no life outside of this forum is flawed and a rather weak attempted at point-scoring.... 

 

I thought we were all retired with plenty of time to post?

[noobexpat]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Soooo, almost a newcomer to LOS then?

 

You should have been in LOS last century when it really was a great country to visit/ live in. IMO it's gone down hill a lot since 2000, but I'd still rather live there than here.

 

I don't live in the past and the technology changes mean i get to live a life others can only dream.

 

So, thanks but no thanks to pre 2000 times.

 

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, noobexpat said:

I don't live in the past and the technology changes mean i get to live a life others can only dream.

So, thanks but no thanks to pre 2000 times.

Agree, now is the best time to be alive, especially for those retired on our 'boomer' pensions, that for many youngsters will never exist.

Even in 2009 I remember, 40" Plasma TV wasn't very good and cost thousands of dollars, no smartphones, internet was over very slow wires, getting lost in the jungle because no smartphones. Now we have all the comms, tv shows, music and movies available at the touch of a button for almost no cost.

Edited January 12 by BritManToo

[thaibeachlovers]

7 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Much of the discussion on these forums is based solely on the perspective that the guy is older and dating a destitute younger female who is seeking financial security above all else...  the reality is quite different and as with all relationships there is a huge spectrum across society.

The only part of that that applied to me was being older. She had land, houses to rent, came from a upstanding family in the village, and was probably better off financially than I.

[thaibeachlovers]

4 minutes ago, noobexpat said:

 

I don't live in the past and the technology changes mean i get to live a life others can only dream.

 

So, thanks but no thanks to pre 2000 times.

 

Up to you, but if I could go back it certainly wouldn't be to after 2000.

 

I used to have a life that others could only dream of, but things change, and no one's future is guaranteed.

[richard_smith237]

14 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

32 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Agreed......

.... Plenty of people have jobs and positions which include plenty of  'flat time' which allows plenty of time online....    use of such to accuse other posters of having no life outside of this forum is flawed and a rather weak attempted at point-scoring.... 

 

I thought we were all retired with plenty of time to post?

 

All retired with much younger women who are only with us for financial security... and after sh@gging them, we are left with loads of time to post on this forum because we have no interpersonal relationship with our sponsored significant other and no other life outside of our online world ????  

 

That does seem to be the implication of some on this forum who lack the capacity to do anything else other than pigeonhole within their own limited experiences.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[richard_smith237]

32 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

42 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Much of the discussion on these forums is based solely on the perspective that the guy is older and dating a destitute younger female who is seeking financial security above all else...  the reality is quite different and as with all relationships there is a huge spectrum across society.

The only part of that that applied to me was being older. She had land, houses to rent, came from a upstanding family in the village, and was probably better off financially than I.

 

Au contraire....  You fit well within the reality that as with all relationships there is a huge spectrum across society... 

[richard_smith237]

32 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Up to you, but if I could go back it certainly wouldn't be to after 2000.

 

I used to have a life that others could only dream of, but things change, and no one's future is guaranteed.

 

My pre-2000 times was Uni... and if I could go back knowing what I know now...  wow... but then life would have taken a very different path perhaps... 

 

I think all of us on this forum live in a percentile where, even with many struggles we have been many of the very fortunate, for there are many many others, vast overwhelming numbers far less fortunate. 

 

If I could go back in time... It would be to last week when I was on a very active holiday with my Wife and Son...