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Coming Out - Aged 60


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28 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said:


Yet here you are browsing the Gay People in Thailand forum and from the number of your replies you are enjoying the experience !!

 

To the OP , as you have accepted your brother’s choice then there is no reason to act any differently around him.

Like you i have a brother and we rarely converse, if he decides to announce he is gay i will accept his decision and leave him to decide whether or not he wants to divulge more to me, i wouldn’t push the issue by asking questions but would try to make him aware that this revelation hadn’t changed anything between us.

 Bizarre he knows I have him on ignore. yet has the most posts on my topic. 

 

Thanks. 

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7 minutes ago, simon43 said:

Huh? I'm not heterosexual! Whatever my sexual preferences are, there is no reason to shout these details out to everyone.  The only relevant person is my partner (if I have one) or a potential partner.

 

 So zero points for you to assume that I'm announcing all over SM that I'm straight.....

You put being gay into the same category as liking rubber gimp suits. I am only used to such nonsensical arguments from straight people. Sorry about that.

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1 minute ago, onthemoon said:

The brother did not discuss sex, he mentioned a love relationship. Sex is a physical activity that people have with or without love.

 

It is telling that you first think of sex when people talk about relationships. I feel sorry for you.

 

   Are you saying that he just loves another man and they aren't in a sexual relationship ?

They are just best mates ?

I did assume that was what coming out meant . 

It needs some clarification as to whether they are in a sexual relationship or they just hang out together and no sex involved . 

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16 minutes ago, mfd101 said:

Lots of middle-aged and elderly couples might have a different view, I think. Sexual activity tends to diminish in most - but not all - people with age, so sexless marriages are quite common. But they're still more than friends, a couple who sleep together and enjoy a cuddle on a cold winter's night ...

Of course no one knows anything about whether he has sex or not, I actually thought he was asexual. 

 

 

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10 minutes ago, simon43 said:

Huh? I'm not heterosexual! Whatever my sexual preferences are, there is no reason to shout these details out to everyone.  The only relevant person is my partner (if I have one) or a potential partner.

 

 So zero points for you to assume that I'm announcing all over SM that I'm straight.....

People come out in different ways, Simon. I imagine like you I sort of drifted out without much fuss. For others it comes as an immense relief to let people know of it. I've never known anyone overdo it really. 

 

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1 minute ago, onthemoon said:

You put being gay into the same category as liking rubber gimp suits. I am only used to such nonsensical arguments from straight people. Sorry about that.

 

  Simon did mean that he has no need to publicly state his sexual preferences and the gimp suit reference was just a humorous exaggeration and wasn't equating it with homosexuality .

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5 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   Are you saying that he just loves another man and they aren't in a sexual relationship ?

They are just best mates ?

I did assume that was what coming out meant . 

It needs some clarification as to whether they are in a sexual relationship or they just hang out together and no sex involved . 


Your continued reference to the sexual aspect of this op is certainly reinforcing your opinion of

“  I have no interest in other peoples relationships or sex lives.“

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2 hours ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

  I would be annoyed , because I have no interest in any of my families sexuality or what they get up to .

    Just keep it too yourself and no need to tell everyone as I am not interested at all .

Do whatever you want , but just keep it to yourself .

Very interesting as a lot of talk on this forum is about sex.

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hope it was easy...my gay cousin had 2 sons with two wives before age 30....then he married a man almost 60....it was hard on his sons as he just  left both with little warning

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14 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

I wonder who has killed more gay Palestinians, the Palestinians or the Israelis... 🤔

Not many gay Palestinians in Gaza or West Bank. Mostly in Haifa.

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1 hour ago, Nick Carter icp said:

When I press the "Unread content" button, all the latest threads appear

Where is that button please?

 

PS;  This is a serious question not some pun/dodgy comment as I am not aware of the function!

Edited by scottiejohn
PS added.
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37 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

Tell him that you had suspected for a while and you never had a problem with it, it doesn't change who he is or that he is your brother, and you love him exactly as he is.

 

   Saying you suspected something makes it sound like he was doing something wrong  , Just shrug your shoulders and say "who cares" 

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6 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   Saying you suspected something makes it sound like he was doing something wrong  , Just shrug your shoulders and say "who cares" 

 

"I suspected you might be organising a surprise party for my birthday this year."  😃

 

"The boss wants to see me.  I suspect I'm going to get a pay-rise."  😃

 

"1. have an idea or impression of the existence, presence, or truth of (something) without certain proof."

 

I think the negativity you're sensing doesn't come from the actual words.

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I entered to topic the same way ....via the unread topic list. I was unaware there was an lgbt or xyz category but regardless I gave my responses without the prejudice or scathing that has eventuated.

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Most of us come from an age where it was taboo. I'm Hispanic where it was double taboo!

 

About 10 years ago I got a phone call from a shocked female childhood friend, that our mutual childhood friend had finally come out at 50!

 

My reaction was, I always knew he was gay from when we were teenagers in HS, but back then it was always safer just to hide it away, and I'm sure thats a hard thing to shake, even as attitudes changed in society.

Try to remember what being Gay was like in the 70's. Not pretty, a lot of violence and hateful speech.

 

He always seemed to have 'roommates' AKA boyfriends as I understood it, but he could never get his head around those teenage fears and didn't even tell his parents.

 

I was his best friend in HS, of course I knew but we would never have talked about it back then.

 

When he finally did come out in middle age and we talked, my reaction was "About Time"

 

We both laughed and life went on

 

 

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3 hours ago, Neeranam said:

It made me happy, quit emotional. 

 

He's the same brother. Just ignore it and carry on as usual. He hasn't mentioned it before?

If he mentions it well. then address it with understanding. 

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5 hours ago, Neeranam said:

My brother just came out the closet and I'd appreciate some advice about what to say to him. He never actually said "I'm gay" but told us he has a partners and it's a serious relationship. 

Of course, I suspected this for ages, going to the Eurovision song contest and Shirley Bassey concerts but it's quite a big thing, well maybe not. 

I think it's great that he is free but also a bit sad that he's been hiding it all these years, or maybe he hasn't -  is this possible to turn gay late in life?

Should I just say I am happy and not ask questions like when did you know etc?

 

Had my brother turned out to be Gay, I would have cut all ties. Yet he was a bit of a panzy but that was bearable. Real men must be tolerant.

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2 hours ago, Neeranam said:

 Bizarre he knows I have him on ignore. yet has the most posts on my topic. 

 

Thanks. 

 

  If you stop incessantly posting that , then I will stop replying to you .

You just encourage my by posting it 

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