Popular Post The Cobra Posted May 3 Popular Post Share Posted May 3 So, picture this: I strolled into one of those massage joints in Pattaya,, thinking I was in for a treat. Boy, was I in for a surprise! The massage itself felt like a wrestling match with the Hulk—sublime yet borderline bone-crushing. I swear, that masseuse could probably unscrew a rusty nut with her bare hands! But here's where it gets weird: her voice! Deeper the Lurch off the Adams family, I kid you not. And instead of the soothing spa chatter, she's yammering on about football. I'm lying there, covered in oil, wondering if I've stumbled into some parallel universe where sports commentary is part of the spa experience. Now, what's a bloke to do in such a situation? Do I demand a refund, making it clear that I didn't sign up for a deep tissue massage joint realignment and a sports podcast? Or do I get cheeky and ask if she can work her magic on my car's noisy tappets after work? Decisions, decisions... 1 1 1 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post jts-khorat Posted May 3 Popular Post Share Posted May 3 You are in Thailand, so go with the flow. You know you want to, else you would not post this as a question. 🤪 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post impulse Posted May 3 Popular Post Share Posted May 3 Just curious. Who's the bloke in this story? 'Cause, I count 2. 1 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mfd101 Posted May 3 Popular Post Share Posted May 3 In my (extremely limited) experience of 'Thai massage' in Thailand (twice) it's not my idea of a pleasant experience. Painful. Never again. 1 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post AnotherOneHere Posted May 3 Popular Post Share Posted May 3 5 minutes ago, mfd101 said: In my (extremely limited) experience of 'Thai massage' in Thailand (twice) it's not my idea of a pleasant experience. Painful. Never again. My wife went to school, has and certificate and everything about Thai massage. I won't let he touch me. I much better prefer a sore shoulder over broken arm all day long. ☠️ 1 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernRyland Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 I got a massage from a man this year. I didn't want to refuse his service which they seemed to run as a family with his wife and daughter. Such is life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Presnock Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 9 minutes ago, mfd101 said: In my (extremely limited) experience of 'Thai massage' in Thailand (twice) it's not my idea of a pleasant experience. Painful. Never again. Yes, if one says a Thai massage, they can be very painful if one hsn't had one before. One must tell the "person" doing the massge to be gentle. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post jvs Posted May 3 Popular Post Share Posted May 3 Thai massage hurts! Oil massage can be very nice,depending on the massage person. Some massages are really good and some not so. It is what it is. If i am experiencing a massage i do not like i say so,pay,say thank you and on my way. 1 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tropicalevo Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 Aloe Vera massage every time for me. Always a girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maybole Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 My sister in law is a trained masseuse. She is brutal, but if you can endure an hour with her you will feel better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimTripper Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 Do what James Bond would do. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenslegs Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 25 minutes ago, JimTripper said: Do what James Bond would do. Never Say Never Again. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andycoops Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 16 hours ago, The Cobra said: So, picture this: I strolled into one of those massage joints in Pattaya,, thinking I was in for a treat. Boy, was I in for a surprise! The massage itself felt like a wrestling match with the Hulk—sublime yet borderline bone-crushing. I swear, that masseuse could probably unscrew a rusty nut with her bare hands! But here's where it gets weird: her voice! Deeper the Lurch off the Adams family, I kid you not. And instead of the soothing spa chatter, she's yammering on about football. I'm lying there, covered in oil, wondering if I've stumbled into some parallel universe where sports commentary is part of the spa experience. Now, what's a bloke to do in such a situation? Do I demand a refund, making it clear that I didn't sign up for a deep tissue massage joint realignment and a sports podcast? Or do I get cheeky and ask if she can work her magic on my car's noisy tappets after work? Decisions, decisions... Suggest you set out your massage parameters before disrobing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Srikcir Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 16 hours ago, The Cobra said: Now, what's a bloke to do in such a situation? Learn from your experience. As Lucy in the movie said, "Learning is a painful process." And you just got a lot of process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gottfrid Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 You could always ask her/him to put some oil on the stick and put you into gear. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermike007 Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 Massage expectations should be discussed up front. Always. If it is a real massage, discuss your limits, in terms of pain. I prefer a massage that does not cause me great pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prubangboy Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 A cheap massage means a very variable experience. If I pay 2,000 baht at a spa, it's always good. There are massage parlor chains in malls for a good middle option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoshowJones Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 18 hours ago, NorthernRyland said: I got a massage from a man this year. I didn't want to refuse his service which they seemed to run as a family with his wife and daughter. Such is life. A massage from a man???? I cannot think of anything worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernRyland Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 4 minutes ago, NoshowJones said: A massage from a man???? I cannot think of anything worse. Yeah I came with my wife and they gave her his wife and I got him. 😭 The daughter was busy on another person too. This was my first trip to Hua Hin and was about 20k south from the city. Maybe that's how the they roll there but I'm not down. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fondue zoo Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 19 hours ago, The Cobra said: So, picture this: I strolled into one of those massage joints in Pattaya,, thinking I was in for a treat. Boy, was I in for a surprise! The massage itself felt like a wrestling match with the Hulk—sublime yet borderline bone-crushing. I swear, that masseuse could probably unscrew a rusty nut with her bare hands! But here's where it gets weird: her voice! Deeper the Lurch off the Adams family, I kid you not. And instead of the soothing spa chatter, she's yammering on about football. I'm lying there, covered in oil, wondering if I've stumbled into some parallel universe where sports commentary is part of the spa experience. Now, what's a bloke to do in such a situation? Do I demand a refund, making it clear that I didn't sign up for a deep tissue massage joint realignment and a sports podcast? Or do I get cheeky and ask if she can work her magic on my car's noisy tappets after work? Decisions, decisions... She make good snu snu 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wavodavo Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 1 hour ago, spidermike007 said: Massage expectations should be discussed up front. Always. If it is a real massage, discuss your limits, in terms of pain. I prefer a massage that does not cause me great pain. If a Thai massage so soft that you dont feel any pain then you have wasted your money.When I go for a massage I bypass all the pretty little young petite girls and select a bigger stronger one on purpose .you might have to endure some discomfort but you will feel good the next day. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BTB1977 Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 Let him loosen your rusty nuts. And grease your rear end. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
digger70 Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 20 hours ago, AnotherOneHere said: My wife went to school, has and certificate and everything about Thai massage. I won't let he touch me. I much better prefer a sore shoulder over broken arm all day long. ☠️ I second that. Lady digger she went to school and got the certificate. I let her massage me Ones didn't I take of quick . Like getting run over by an Komatsu D575A-3 SD 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermike007 Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 1 hour ago, wavodavo said: If a Thai massage so soft that you dont feel any pain then you have wasted your money.When I go for a massage I bypass all the pretty little young petite girls and select a bigger stronger one on purpose .you might have to endure some discomfort but you will feel good the next day. I don't mind feeling some pain but I just don't need to be tortured. And if I feel like a fun massage, a young and beautiful gal, who has not had her body disfigured by kids, is what I am looking for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanadaSam Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 I always read google reviews for everything, restaurants, bars, massage places, etc. Only the massage places reviews are completely useless! How often I walk into a 4.7 star massage only to end up with a 1 star massage! And the frustrating thing is that these idiots give really high reviews, without even mentioning the name of the masseuse! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tandor Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 21 hours ago, Presnock said: Yes, if one says a Thai massage, they can be very painful if one hsn't had one before. One must tell the "person" doing the massge to be gentle. bou-bou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalasin Jo Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 22 hours ago, mfd101 said: In my (extremely limited) experience of 'Thai massage' in Thailand (twice) it's not my idea of a pleasant experience. Painful. Never again. Avoid traditional Thai massage. Go for an oil massage which will also be on the menu and is in my experience much kinder. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john donson Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 On 5/3/2024 at 2:38 PM, The Cobra said: So, picture this: I strolled into one of those massage joints in Pattaya,, thinking I was in for a treat. Boy, was I in for a surprise! The massage itself felt like a wrestling match with the Hulk—sublime yet borderline bone-crushing. I swear, that masseuse could probably unscrew a rusty nut with her bare hands! But here's where it gets weird: her voice! Deeper the Lurch off the Adams family, I kid you not. And instead of the soothing spa chatter, she's yammering on about football. I'm lying there, covered in oil, wondering if I've stumbled into some parallel universe where sports commentary is part of the spa experience. Now, what's a bloke to do in such a situation? Do I demand a refund, making it clear that I didn't sign up for a deep tissue massage joint realignment and a sports podcast? Or do I get cheeky and ask if she can work her magic on my car's noisy tappets after work? Decisions, decisions... don't you choose your massage person ? her ? sounds like a HE in a dress Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sticky Rice Balls Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 On 5/3/2024 at 12:27 PM, JimTripper said: Do what James Bond would do. order a vodka martini? shaken not stirred?....or inject your foe with nerve agent? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scorecard Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 On 5/3/2024 at 3:16 PM, Presnock said: Yes, if one says a Thai massage, they can be very painful if one hsn't had one before. One must tell the "person" doing the massge to be gentle. Or call out loudly 'JEP' 'JEP' (hurts). That will usually reduce the power being used. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.3b3332cc2256ad0edbc2fe9404feeef0.png)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now