Urban myth or unfortunate fact ?

[The Cobra]

During my time in this country, I've heard some concerning stories about interactions with some locals, even in seemingly harmless situations. There's this prevailing sentiment that you should keep quiet and avoid confrontation, even if you've been wronged, as it's believed that engaging wwith some Thais could lead to trouble. It's often advised to swallow your pride and walk away.

 

It's disconcerting, to say the least. Recently, while out with some Thai friends, there was a bit of drama involving "girl snatching" between our group and another. I wasn't entirely sure what sparked it, but tensions quickly escalated, and one of my friends discreetly suggested we leave the establishment, hinting that the situation could turn violent, with the possibility of weapons being involved.

 

This begs the question: is this reality? Are people genuinely prepared to resort to extreme measures over trivial disputes? Why can't conflicts be resolved amicably, without the threat of violence hanging over us?

I'm beginning to question the stereotype that all Thais are fearless and unafraid of confrontation. In my experience, many would rather avoid conflict altogether. Moreover, it's worth noting that even associating with affluent and influential Thai individuals doesn't necessarily guarantee safety, as I've witnessed instances where such individuals have faced violence from unruly groups.

 

Are these perceptions of Thais being "mafia-like" and fearless accurate? Have you ever felt intimidated by a Thai individual? I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

 

Should we always opt to avoid confrontation, or is it worth standing up for ourselves, despite the potential risks involved? Especially nowadays when farangs seem to  have a deportation target on them if involved in any trouble.

[BritManToo]

6 minutes ago, The Cobra said:

This begs the question: is this reality? Are people genuinely prepared to resort to extreme measures over trivial disputes? Why can't conflicts be resolved amicably, without the threat of violence hanging over us?

 

6 months back a Thai university lecturer tried to kill me because I bumped his car with a plastic bag hanging off my m/c.

 

My first live in Thai girlfriend admitted she had paid a tuk tuk driver to kill her Swedish husband in a hit and run.

 

I can assure you the threat of random and excessive violence is always here.

[Nick Carter icp]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

6 months back a Thai university lecturer tried to kill me because I bumped his car with a plastic bag hanging off my m/c.

 

I can assure you the threat of random and excessive violence is always there.

 

   I would like to hear his side of the story , I expect it would be rather different to yours 

[FritsSikkink]

I stand up for myself as I always did in my own country too. I am still here after a very long time.

[Bill97]

Just walk away 

[Bill97]

1 minute ago, Nick Carter icp said:

I bumped his car with a plastic bag hanging off my m/c.

Why did you do that?

[BritManToo]

4 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   I would like to hear his side of the story , I expect it would be rather different to yours 

Court case next month, I'll tell you the result. I'm expecting him to be let off as killing foreigners (for any reason) is ok in Thailand.

 

God help you if you bump into a Thai, sitting on your beach house steps though.

[FritsSikkink]

17 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Court case next month, I'll tell you the result. I'm expecting him to be let off as killing foreigners (for any reason) is ok in Thailand.

 

God help you if you bump into a Thai, sitting on your beach house steps though.

What a load of nonsense. You weren't killed and you avoid the details on what you did after bumping into his car until you got hit.

The guy didn't bump into the girl but kicked and harassed her, his Thai wife threatened to shoot her, and the beach house steps weren't his as they were on public land.

Twisting stories, telling half-truths, anything to blame Thai people.

[simon43]

I do recall many years ago at my wedding in Issan that me and the bride had to quickly evacuate the party when the shooting started (not at me I hasten to add!)....

[connda]

1 hour ago, The Cobra said:

This begs the question: is this reality? Are people genuinely prepared to resort to extreme measures over trivial disputes?

Yes - they are.  Welcome to Thailand.

[Callmeishmael]

My wife is from Nakhon Sri Thammarat, which is considered by many to be the Wild West of Thailand.  One of her uncles (a fishing boat captain) was shot and killed by an acquaintance many years ago.  Also, as a young girl she saw a man shot and killed at a temple fair.  The police later hunted down and killed the shooter. 

 

Another story involved a cousin of her grandmother, a very attractive young woman who fell in love with an outlaw who lived in the forest.  He was eventually hunted down and killed by the police, leaving her alone with a young daughter.

 

During her grandfather's funeral after dinner at her aunt's house, she told me that we had to leave, as her uncles were arguing and she was worried that someone would start shooting.

 

I will say that this sort of thing seems to be much rarer in Bangkok though.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, The Cobra said:

This begs the question: is this reality?

 

1 hour ago, The Cobra said:

Should we always opt to avoid confrontation

Yes

Yes

 

Obviously, you can tell them that you are right and explain to them what they did wrong. But maybe they don't want to listen to you.

Then, when you wake up in the hospital the next day, you will hopefully conclude that avoidance is the best option.

 

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, FritsSikkink said:

I stand up for myself as I always did in my own country too. I am still here after a very long time.

How often did you have to fight?

[Denim]

Never had any problems but then both wife and I prefer quiet places where large groups don't tend to go. 

 

Won't even consider going anywhere where ' live music ' is promoted as an attraction.  Can't see the pleasure in having my ears assaulted by dreadful noise.

 

 

 

[Tropicalevo]

Thais can become violent quite quickly in a confrontation.

Most times they will avoid a confrontation with a foreigner (unless drugs or alcohol are thrown into the mix).

Lived in Thailand 24 years. No issues.

Also lived in Oz, HK and Singapore. Again no issues.

The only country that I have been attacked in (random violence whilst walking on the street) was the UK. 3 times.

Wifey - mugged twice in the UK. Nothing, anywhere else.

 

[The Fugitive]

21 minutes ago, Denim said:

Never had any problems but then both wife and I prefer quiet places where large groups don't tend to go. 

 

Won't even consider going anywhere where ' live music ' is promoted as an attraction.  Can't see the pleasure in having my ears assaulted by dreadful noise.

Depends where it is I suppose. We had a local live music venue open recently. A group consisting of bass and rhythm electric guitars, keyboard player, drummer and vocalist play Thai pop between 9pm and midnight each night. Outside, the owner plays his acoustic guitar with an occasional vocalist. I prefer the outside but my Mrs and Thai friends like the group inside!    

[Confuscious]

During my stay in this country, mover than 2 decades, I have been a few times in a situation which turned violent.
I never used violence myself.
Just swallowed my pride and moved on with my life.

On one situation, a driver was stopped by the police because he tried to pass the cars at a police checkpoint in Korat (Safe One market).
It was already late at night.
For some unknown reason, he blamed me for his stupidity and when leaving the police checkpoint he started to play a "mouse and cat" game with me.
Driving in front of me and slamming his brakes and when I tried to pass him he would speed up and block the way.
I was driving my daughter to the airport and my daughter was afraid of the situation.
Near Saraburi, I turned into the Military field and told the story to the guards and asked them for their help.
They called a police car and we were escorted to Suwarnabumi by a police car.
Not a sign of the stupid driver.
I gave a copy of the recorded clip of the car with me dashcam and let them handle everything.
Never saw this driver back.
 

 

 

[simon43]

1 hour ago, Callmeishmael said:

My wife is from Nakhon Sri Thammarat, which is considered by many to be the Wild West of Thailand.  One of her uncles (a fishing boat captain) was shot and killed by an acquaintance many years ago.  Also, as a young girl she saw a man shot and killed at a temple fair.  The police later hunted down and killed the shooter. 

...

 

When I first moved to Phuket about 22 years ago, I built a small airport hotel and employed 'Bert', a young Thai man who was hardworking.  One day he rode his motorcycle along a road in nearby Nai Yang village.  Another young Thai man rode alongside and shot him dead.  It transpired that Bert's girlfriend had been carrying on behind his back with this other man and they both transpired to kill Bert.  The local police investigated but made no charges.  Every time that I saw Bert's girlfriend after that event, I would look her straight in the eye.  She knew that I knew.....

[theblether]

I don't want to be controversial but - have you ever seen how quickly violence flares in the UK and USA? I can understand some Europeans ( Germans in particular ) not being used to violent flare ups but dear me, try making someone "lose face" in the above mentioned countries and a hospital visit is on the cards. Or maybe the morgue. 

 

 

[Mark Nothing]

The unfortunate fact is foreigners live in a social class system here in thailand, whether they know it or not. And it is the basis of thai culture.

 

And by default this class system thinks so highly of us that we have no rung on the pecking order ladder.  Which means by default foreigners are always wrong.  In every situation.   And they will quickly resort to violence to teach you your place in the ranking. 

 

I have had a few road rage type incidents with dirty motorscooter taxi boys screaming and pounding on my car windows, due to my polite horn honking when they made eratic maneuvers. 

 

Another BMW thai driver played cat and mouse blocking my car and getting out with a lead pipe looking to assault me due to polite horn honking to let him know other drivers are on the road too and are concerned about eratic maniac driving displayed.  After a few gyrations I reversed course and the situation calmed with no damage.

 

The reason 10 thais come to bash a foreigner is due to enforcing the social class system.  Immediate results to teach them they are inferiors.  This should be on the glossy brochures for tourists to understand the futility of demanding their rights.  Avoid confrontation.  It will quickly be 10 against 1.

 

 

[FritsSikkink]

7 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

How often did you have to fight?

Was a part time bouncer in Amsterdam red light for 9 months, done 11 years of martial arts and 6 years of front row rugby union.

Had about 100 physical arguments, lost 3, ended up in hospital once with a couple of metal plates in my forehead as somebody hit me with a brick unexpectedly. Was very lucky not to die then.

[still kicking]

7 hours ago, Tropicalevo said:

Thais can become violent quite quickly in a confrontation.

Most times they will avoid a confrontation with a foreigner (unless drugs or alcohol are thrown into the mix).

Lived in Thailand 24 years. No issues.

Also lived in Oz, HK and Singapore. Again no issues.

The only country that I have been attacked in (random violence whilst walking on the street) was the UK. 3 times.

Wifey - mugged twice in the UK. Nothing, anywhere else.

 

Well, you must be lucky I am in OZ for about 40 years never had an issue with anybody, lived in LOS for a number of years got broken into twice had one of my apartments burned down and got threatened by my FIL with a shotgun.

[FritsSikkink]

8 hours ago, connda said:

Yes - they are.  Welcome to Thailand.

People do so in many countries.

[FritsSikkink]

8 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

Yes

Yes

 

Obviously, you can tell them that you are right and explain to them what they did wrong. But maybe they don't want to listen to you.

Then, when you wake up in the hospital the next day, you will hopefully conclude that avoidance is the best option.

 

Grow a pair.

[FritsSikkink]

6 hours ago, Mark Nothing said:

The unfortunate fact is foreigners live in a social class system here in thailand, whether they know it or not. And it is the basis of thai culture.

 

And by default this class system thinks so highly of us that we have no rung on the pecking order ladder.  Which means by default foreigners are always wrong.  In every situation.   And they will quickly resort to violence to teach you your place in the ranking. 

 

BS, that you can't climb the social ladder doesn't mean others don't. There are a lot of foreign people who have a lot of power and are well respected.

[OneMoreFarang]

 

1 hour ago, FritsSikkink said:

Grow a pair.

 

And then?

Above you write: 

Was a part time bouncer in Amsterdam red light for 9 months, done 11 years of martial arts and 6 years of front row rugby union.

Had about 100 physical arguments, lost 3, ended up in hospital once with a couple of metal plates in my forehead as somebody hit me with a brick unexpectedly. Was very lucky not to die then.

 

Maybe that is what you call a fulfilled life. But personally, I am happy when I live a quiet life without any incidents where I fight and end up in a hospital.

 

 

[BritManToo]

11 hours ago, theblether said:

I don't want to be controversial but - have you ever seen how quickly violence flares in the UK and USA? I can understand some Europeans ( Germans in particular ) not being used to violent flare ups but dear me, try making someone "lose face" in the above mentioned countries and a hospital visit is on the cards. Or maybe the morgue. 

 

 

Not once!

[Andycoops]

Thai's are very prone to over reacting with violence especially when alcohol is involved...

[Bangkok Barry]

I am surprised at the OP's post, as it is perfectly obvious to anyone who reads the news, even on just this site, that there are many instances each month of often extreme violence over the most trivial things.

 

The reasons are a possible loss of face, which it could be argued is of even more importance to Thais than money - and that's really saying something! Most of us simply roll with it if we are outsmarted or embarrassed in any way, but for a Thai that is sometimes, all too often, a reason to kill. So much for Buddhist principles.

Add to that we have a large percentage of the population having poor education, and the only way for such people, anywhere, to settle an argument is to use their fists or, as in Thailand, guns which seem to be so readily available. Low intelligence and guns are not a good mix.

 

And then there is the fact that, often, young males are never taught self-discipline. Many are allowed to do as they wish, and many also lack a father figure as he has done a runner, is a good-for-nothing himself or the kid has been brought up by aged grandparents who can barely take care of themself, let alone raise a boisterous kid properly.

All part of the wonderful culture that Thais are so proud of. The bottom line is, at any sign of trouble, wai and walk away. Always. If you don't, you will lose. Even Macho Man. Six on one, a Thai tradition, wins every time.

[WDSmart]

I've lived in Thailand for over 20 years and have NEVER been threatened by a Thai. Of course, I live in a rural area in northeastern Thailand and don't go to bars to drink or stay out late at night. I also have been married to a Thai woman for most of that time, so I also don't go looking for street sex.  These are the scenarios that I assume Farangs are engaged in when they are threatened by Thais.

I have been threatened by Farangs a couple of times, but that was over disputes about golf at my golf club. These threats have never come to blows or have led to any retaliation.