Are You A Sexpat Or Do You Ride The Backwards Morality Train?

[EVENKEEL]

8 minutes ago, NowNow said:

 

So if a Thai goes to England, meets an Englishwoman and marries her, he becomes a sexpat?

Are you an idiot?

How old is he?

[metisdead]

Inflammatory posts and replies contravening our Community Standards have been removed:

• Please be polite and respectful to others
• Do not flame, troll or stalk other members

A post using ALL CAPS contravening our Standards of Conduct has been removed:

 

5. Do not post text with all capital letters or with over-sized fonts, all bold font, non-standard fonts, colored fonts or unusually large emojis.

 

[KhunLA]

1 minute ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Indeed...  I read his post and then figured, he must be sick of getting accused of being a monger !!!

 

 

I get his point though - a lot of guys on here make the assumption that everyone else is a sexpat monger when is clearly obvious from many posts (i.e. many of yours)... who are just normal folks with healthy attitudes towards life in Thailand....

 

There are also people who speak terribly of Thai women and have very little idea and make huge assumptions that all women are 'buyable' which is wholly offensive to many of us who are married to 'regular' (non industry females etc).

 

So... we're not trying to be cleaner than the 'mongers'....  we just don't want to be associated with the folk making lecherous assumptions such as 90% of Thai girls are on Thai Friendly etc or, it goes with the territory etc.

I'm a sexpat when single, but not P4P, and just a common Horn toad 😎

[Thingamabob]

First arrived in Thailand in 1962 aged 21, and with little experience of intimacy with women. Left after a month, a changed young man. Was I a 'sexpat' ?  I was an expatriate who had sex in Thailand so I suppose I was depending, that is, on how 'sexpat' is defined. It appears to be a term of abuse invented by the gutter press in the UK. It bothers me, given that I live in Thailand and I have been happily married to a Thai lady for 40 years, but not that much.

[richard_smith237]

40 minutes ago, Andrew65 said:

What about falang men who marry ordinary Thai women who have ordinary jobs? (Aren't & never were bargirls).

 

Plenty about - Almost everyone I know in Thailand, or to rephrase, almost everyone I know in Thailand who's partner I have also met is with (dating long term or married) to women who for the purposes of this converstation are normal (i.e. not ex ho's, not ex BG's, not ex Freelancers, not occupational farang hunters etc)...  of course, we can't know someones past for sure, but after being here a long time, its easy enough to pick up on the vibe - and spotting 'ex-brass' is exceptionally easy for anyone who's spent any reasonable length of time here. 

 

 

Thats not to judge - but to point out that others who fail to identify or accept that others are in relationships with normal women (definition above) are quite wrong and only using their limited range of exposure which is usually from an area where exposure to Thai women may be limited to less virtuous skirt !!!... 

 

 

[Liverpool Lou]

37 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

So a tourist visiting Pattaya, would be a sex tourist, and not a sexpat.

"So a tourist visiting Pattaya, would be a sex tourist..."

Only if they are banging the locals, not all visitors to Pattaya are.

 

If I shagged a Spanish girl in Ibiza would that make ne a sex tourist or just a holidaymaker?

[NowNow]

7 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

How many judgmental posts have I read here on AN where one poster accuses another of being a sexpat, a monger, trying to get a leg over, etc. 

 

Really? All these people judging others from their glass houses. So petty. Who cares what other people do and what they come to Thailand for? You do you and forget the rest. 

 

When I first came here everyone was either a drunk, a shagger, a spook, a teacher, a backpacker, a property agent, a fugitive, an arms dealer, a movie producer or all of the above wrapped into one. Nobody cared what anyone else did. If you called someone in Bangkok a sexpat back in the eighties then they probably would have been flattered. It wasn't even a word!

 

Then the place started to gentrify around Y2K, the morality police showed up in the form of Westerners that saw it fitting to start calling other foreigners names and attaching labels. Back then nobody even pretended to be in Thailand for the temples, the markets, the elephants, the culture, etc. Couldn't be arsed, nor did anyone have anything to hide. 

 

So now you got lots of desperados on AN that are tarring others with a dirty brush when they in fact might be doing even worse things themselves. Or maybe they are hoping to, but can't because they made the mistake of getting married too quickly. A sack of armchair critics who get a kick out of trolling others to see if they can trigger someone by calling them a sex tourist whenever anyone admits to enjoying the night life in Thailand. 

 

Give it all up already FFS. Don't be one of those minging geezers who can's stop himself from judging others for what they choose to do with their own bodies in the hub of nightlife.

 

 

 

Filthy sex tourists flocking together and imagining they are the majority and the norm.

No one I knew back then came for the prostitutes. The people who did were a different breed with their own forums dedicated to discussing prostitution. They were in their own world and obviously believed that is how it was for everyone. The most frequently read chorus other than sex talk was with regard to "fat white women" and "dirty backpackers".  They seemed to have a pathological hatred of their own kind if they weren't sex tourists.

Many of those backpackers stayed and built businesses with local women and I don't mean prostitutes but normal people from the community. 

Filthy sex tourists have always been held in the lowest regard and they mix with the lowest of the low. That's the truth of the matter.

[OneMoreFarang]

I don't really care.

I remember this guy who told me he would never pay for cash. But his girlfriend, which he met the day before in a bar, got already an iPad from him. She is such a nice girl... And I am sure there were some more shopping trips. But sure, he would never every pay.

[richard_smith237]

11 minutes ago, KhunLA said:

I'm a sexpat when single, but not P4P, and just a common Horn toad 😎

 

Indeed... I came out here for my first job, straight out of Uni...  Uni was great fun, loads of skirt etc... coming here was also loads of fun....   but when the only bars you end up at are the 'pink pussy cat' (or some such name) its going to be difficult to meet regular women. 

 

Thus...  making good male Thai friends opened up doors difficult to imagine from a 'meeting a woman' perspective... and certainly not living in central Pattaya or Patong also helped to avoid 'ending up' with an occupational-farang-hunter type....

 

 

 

 

Edited October 12 by richard_smith237

[NowNow]

8 minutes ago, EVENKEEL said:

How old is he?

 

All the people to whom I am referring partnered with women/men of similar ages. None of the ridiculous hooking up with young girls because they weighed under 40kgs, but people who could work and run a business together. This includes foreign women.

[richard_smith237]

14 minutes ago, Andrew65 said:

Is this about the difference between a tourist, expat or an immigrant? Is he a sexpat or a sexigrant!?😁

 

Wouldn't that depend upon his name being 'Grant' or not ???  

 

 

[Andrew65]

5 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Wouldn't that depend upon his name being 'Grant' or not ???  

 

 

So by the same token a sexpat would only be known as such if his name is 'Pat'?😁

Edited October 12 by Andrew65

[georgegeorgia]

12 minutes ago, NowNow said:

 

All the people to whom I am referring partnered with women/men of similar ages. None of the ridiculous hooking up with young girls because they weighed under 40kgs, but people who could work and run a business together. This includes foreign women.

Oh please stop being judgemental 

There may be men who are not into "weight challenged" girls like yourself and prefer the slimmer type ,we must not judge 

[georgegeorgia]

21 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

ts not to judge - but to point out that others who fail to identify or accept that others are in

It sounds like you are judging but it's always the same first sentence ...I'm not judging but......I'm not racist but.....

[richard_smith237]

3 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

It sounds like you are judging but it's always the same first sentence ...I'm not judging but......I'm not racist but.....

 

haha... I don't want to be an a$$hole, but....     

 

And.. you are quite right... I am judging... I'm judging those who incorrectly pass judgement when making assumptions of everyone else based on their own limited experiences.

 

 

[richard_smith237]

14 minutes ago, Andrew65 said:

19 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Wouldn't that depend upon his name being 'Grant' or not ???  

 

 

So by the same token a sexpat would only be known as such if his name is 'Pat'?😁

 

If, just like sexigrant, you'll be referring to him as sexipat... then yes !!!... 

[Nick Carter icp]

8 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

When I first came here everyone was either a drunk, a shagger, a spook, a teacher, a backpacker, a property agent, a fugitive, an arms dealer, a movie producer or all of the above wrapped into one.

 

    There were either two types of people back then, sex tourists or back packers and both groups disliked each other and didn't integrate at all . 

   Backpackers felt a bit sorry for the older guys who had to pay females to be with them and had to pay for sex 

[Kinok Farang]

I'm the worst case of sex-pat there is.

My little soldier won't stand to attention any more.

Just another sex-pat loser now.

[Kinok Farang]

8 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

How many judgmental posts have I read here on AN where one poster accuses another of being a sexpat, a monger, trying to get a leg over, etc. 

 

Really? All these people judging others from their glass houses. So petty. Who cares what other people do and what they come to Thailand for? You do you and forget the rest. 

 

When I first came here everyone was either a drunk, a shagger, a spook, a teacher, a backpacker, a property agent, a fugitive, an arms dealer, a movie producer or all of the above wrapped into one. Nobody cared what anyone else did. If you called someone in Bangkok a sexpat back in the eighties then they probably would have been flattered. It wasn't even a word!

 

Then the place started to gentrify around Y2K, the morality police showed up in the form of Westerners that saw it fitting to start calling other foreigners names and attaching labels. Back then nobody even pretended to be in Thailand for the temples, the markets, the elephants, the culture, etc. Couldn't be arsed, nor did anyone have anything to hide. 

 

So now you got lots of desperados on AN that are tarring others with a dirty brush when they in fact might be doing even worse things themselves. Or maybe they are hoping to, but can't because they made the mistake of getting married too quickly. A sack of armchair critics who get a kick out of trolling others to see if they can trigger someone by calling them a sex tourist whenever anyone admits to enjoying the night life in Thailand. 

 

Give it all up already FFS. Don't be one of those minging geezers who can's stop himself from judging others for what they choose to do with their own bodies in the hub of nightlife.

 

Honesty is the best policy.Great post.

[Andrew65]

2 minutes ago, Kinok Farang said:

I'm the worst case of sex-pat there is.

My little soldier won't stand to attention any more.

Just another sex-pat loser now.

Soldiers who refuse to stand to attention need a good bollocking!😄

[NowNow]

1 minute ago, Kinok Farang said:

Honesty is the best policy.Great post.

 

Terrible post and almost wholly inaccurate.

[Kinok Farang]

7 hours ago, chiang mai said:

And people who wear socks and sandals, they have to go too. 🙂

And slim good-looking fellas with loads of hair.

[Kinok Farang]

4 minutes ago, NowNow said:

 

Terrible post and almost wholly inaccurate.

I enjoyed it!

[chiang mai]

3 minutes ago, Kinok Farang said:

And slim good-looking fellas with loads of hair.

Yeeeessss!

[retarius]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I don't care.

I remember this guy who told me he would never pay for cash. But his girlfriend, which he met the day before in a bar, got already an iPad from him. She is such a nice girl... And I am sure there were some more shopping trips. But sure, he would never ever pay.

Me neither. Care, I mean. If I am banging bar girls that's my business. If I'm not, that's my business as well. Same for you. Who the hell am I to judge you, or you to judge me?

[retarius]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I don't care.

I remember this guy who told me he would never pay for cash. But his girlfriend, which he met the day before in a bar, got already an iPad from him. She is such a nice girl... And I am sure there were some more shopping trips. But sure, he would never ever pay.

Me neither. Care, I mean. If I am banging bar girls that's my business. If I'm not, that's my business as well. Same for you. Who the hell am I to judge you, or you to judge me?

[bkk6060]

Pattaya and other places are so full of hypocrites when it comes to this.  They came here and played the field and met a girl in a bar or freelancer and had them move in or are now married.  Then the judgment of others " their lifestyle is not mine" is sickening. So, out of touch with the truth about themselves.

[NowNow]

2 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

Pattaya and other places are so full of hypocrites when it comes to this.  They came here and played the field and met a girl in a bar or freelancer and had them move in or are now married.  Then the judgment of others " their lifestyle is not mine" is sickening. So, out of touch with the truth about themselves.

 

You just made that all up to feel better about yourself. 

[FriscoKid]

Sexpat: The term sexpat is a portmanteau of “sex” and “expat” (short for expatriate) and refers to a person, typically a man, who relocates or frequently travels to foreign countries with the primary or significant purpose of engaging in sexual activities, often with local women. The term is often used pejoratively to describe individuals who exploit socio-economic disparities, especially in developing countries, to engage in sex tourism or exploitative relationships.

 

Sexpats may move to or visit regions where they believe sexual relationships are easier to obtain, cheaper, or involve fewer legal or social consequences. The term is commonly associated with certain parts of Southeast Asia, Latin America, and Eastern Europe, though it can apply to any region.

 

The concept is criticized for perpetuating inequality, exploiting vulnerable populations, and sometimes contributing to human trafficking or the sex trade.

 

While sexpat and sex tourist are related terms, they describe different types of behavior, and the distinction between the two generally revolves around duration, intent, and the nature of the relationship to the host country.

 

1. Sex Tourist

 

• Definition: A sex tourist is typically someone who travels to a foreign country for a short period specifically to engage in sexual activities, often with locals who work in the sex trade.

• Characteristics:

• Short-term travel: A sex tourist might visit a country for a week or two, with a primary or secondary goal of participating in the local sex industry.

• No long-term commitment to the location: They don’t typically establish a permanent residence in the country they visit.

• Purely transactional: Interactions are typically brief and often focused on paid sexual encounters, with little to no intent of forming relationships.

• Focus on Exploitation: The term is often used negatively, associated with people who exploit economic disparities in developing nations to engage in cheap or easily accessible sex.

 

2. Sexpat

 

• Definition: A sexpat is an expatriate—someone who has moved or lives abroad—who has a lifestyle that revolves around engaging in sexual relationships with locals. This may involve both paid sexual encounters and longer-term relationships, often with significant power imbalances.

• Characteristics:

• Long-term residence: Sexpats often settle or live long-term in countries where they can engage in relationships, sometimes semi-permanent, with local partners. Many live there for years or even permanently.

• Relationships beyond one-time encounters: Unlike sex tourists, sexpats might seek out what they consider more “meaningful” relationships, though they may still be largely transactional. These could involve cohabitation, longer-term dating, or “girlfriend experience” arrangements.

• More embedded in the local community: Sexpats may integrate into the expat community in the country, developing social ties and making the country their home, though these ties may still be rooted in sexual relationships.

 

Key Differences:

 

• Duration of Stay:

• Sex Tourist: Short-term visits.

• Sexpat: Long-term or permanent relocation to another country.

• Nature of Interactions:

• Sex Tourist: Mostly focuses on brief, often anonymous encounters that are purely transactional (usually through the sex trade).

• Sexpat: May involve both transactional and semi-permanent relationships, including “girlfriend” or “wife” arrangements that still carry an economic component.

• Commitment to Location:

• Sex Tourist: Has no strong ties to the country beyond the visit.

• Sexpat: Chooses to live in the country and becomes part of the local expat community, though their interactions may remain exploitative.

• Motivation:

• Sex Tourist: Primarily visits a country for sexual activities, often as part of a broader vacation or travel itinerary.

• Sexpat: May have moved to the country specifically to enjoy the benefits of the local dating or sex culture on a long-term basis, often influenced by the power imbalance in their favor.

 

Overlap:

 

• Both sex tourists and sexpats exploit economic or social differences between themselves and local populations.

• Both terms are often used pejoratively to criticize behaviors that contribute to the exploitation of individuals in the sex trade or socially disadvantaged groups.

 

In summary, while a sex tourist tends to engage in short-term, often anonymous or transactional encounters during travel, a sexpat stays in the foreign country long-term, often building their life around more sustained and sometimes superficially more “stable” relationships, though they may still exploit the same economic and social imbalances.

[Gottfrid]

2 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

If you have sex with the locals you are a sexpat.

 

some men bring their western wives here, and can not be called a sexpat. 
Sickos.

1. Depends on if you have one or many.

2. Guess you will have to read up on the meaning of the expression sexpat, as it depends on if they are faithful or have numerous encounters on the side.
 

2 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

I still regard them as sexpats. 
they are having sex with the local women. Mia farangs

 

the vast majority of us are. Whether they are bargirls or not.

That´s because you still do not know the meaning of the expression sexpat.