Well then mates, so I’m rollin’ into Second Road Big-C yesterday, my new Honda Wave lookin' all shiny and polished, ready to grab a few bits and bobs, maybe a cold one after. Sun’s out, car park buzzing, people flappin’ about like they’re auditionin’ for Fast and Furious: Thailand edition. Nothing unusual.

 

I’m manoeuvrin’ into a spot, mindin’ me own, checkin' my messages for a sec, when out of the corner of me eye, I see a Thai bird, late twenties I reckon, in full-on pink and purple fitness gear, brail-level tight on the minge, all Lycra and attitude, loading up her sports model BMW. She’s got the trolley stacked like she’s done shopping for a year, bags teetering, bottles of wine wobblin’ like they’re tryin’ to escape. Next thing I know, she's nearly got the boot fully loaded, lets go the trolley, and bang! Right into me bike's back tire, sending a bag of mangoes tumblin’ across the tarmac.

 

I freeze, look to see if there is much bike damage, look at her, and she’s practically sprintin’ over, breathin’ like she’s just done a marathon, doin’ a half-lunge as she apologises. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” I just wave it off, “No worries, love, it’s fine.” Calm as a cucumber, like this sort of thing happens all the time in Thailand, which, frankly, it does.

 

Then she squints at the rear of me bike, spots a scratch, and goes, “Maybe you could pop by my condo later, we could… talk about getting it fixed?” I glance down at her hand, big shiny ring, clear as a diamond. Not my first rodeo, mates. Got caught playin' the double bass a few weeks back with some other bloke's missus. Last thing I need is endin’ up in another geezer’s bed again with his wife and me bits out tryin’ to settle a fender bender.

 

So I flash me cheeky grin, give her a polite nod, and wheel me bike off, leavin’ her standin’ there wonderin'. Thailand, innit. Where your bike can take a hit, your nerves stay calm, and you still dodge a full-on domestic drama, all in a minute.

4 minutes ago, LL 2.0 said:

Maybe you could pop by my condo later,

Crikey, This happens to you to? 

 

I have most of my groceries delivered at Home by the store. (and if the store says "no can do"....I do a "no can have money-money" and try another store....they all end up in delivering if you insist. 

 

No Big C dramas...

5 minutes ago, LL 2.0 said:

Well then mates, so I’m rollin’ into Second Road Big-C yesterday, my new Honda Wave lookin' all shiny and polished, ready to grab a few bits and bobs, maybe a cold one after. Sun’s out, car park buzzing, people flappin’ about like they’re auditionin’ for Fast and Furious: Thailand edition. Nothing unusual.

 

I’m manoeuvrin’ into a spot, mindin’ me own, checkin' my messages for a sec, when out of the corner of me eye, I see a Thai bird, late twenties I reckon, in full-on pink and purple fitness gear, brail-level tight on the minge, all Lycra and attitude, loading up her sports model BMW. She’s got the trolley stacked like she’s done shopping for a year, bags teetering, bottles of wine wobblin’ like they’re tryin’ to escape. Next thing I know, she's nearly got the boot fully loaded, lets go the trolley, and bang! Right into me bike's back tire, sending a bag of mangoes tumblin’ across the tarmac.

 

I freeze, look to see if there is much bike damage, look at her, and she’s practically sprintin’ over, breathin’ like she’s just done a marathon, doin’ a half-lunge as she apologises. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” I just wave it off, “No worries, love, it’s fine.” Calm as a cucumber, like this sort of thing happens all the time in Thailand, which, frankly, it does.

 

Then she squints at the rear of me bike, spots a scratch, and goes, “Maybe you could pop by my condo later, we could… talk about getting it fixed?” I glance down at her hand, big shiny ring, clear as a diamond. Not my first rodeo, mates. Got caught playin' the double bass a few weeks back with some other bloke's missus. Last thing I need is endin’ up in another geezer’s bed again with his wife and me bits out tryin’ to settle a fender bender.

 

So I flash me cheeky grin, give her a polite nod, and wheel me bike off, leavin’ her standin’ there wonderin'. Thailand, innit. Where your bike can take a hit, your nerves stay calm, and you still dodge a full-on domestic drama, all in a minute.

 

I think I saw that Bird... what time was is when this happened ?

41 minutes ago, LL 2.0 said:

Honda Wave

LOL...

Disappointed ☹️ 

There was I reaching for the Kleenex when it went all Mills and Boon !

Waste not want not …… where did i put that Victoria Secrets catalogue ??

1 hour ago, LL 2.0 said:

Well then mates, so I’m rollin’ into Second Road Big-C yesterday, my new Honda Wave lookin' all shiny and polished, ready to grab a few bits and bobs, maybe a cold one after. Sun’s out, car park buzzing, people flappin’ about like they’re auditionin’ for Fast and Furious: Thailand edition. Nothing unusual.

 

I’m manoeuvrin’ into a spot, mindin’ me own, checkin' my messages for a sec, when out of the corner of me eye, I see a Thai bird, late twenties I reckon, in full-on pink and purple fitness gear, brail-level tight on the minge, all Lycra and attitude, loading up her sports model BMW. She’s got the trolley stacked like she’s done shopping for a year, bags teetering, bottles of wine wobblin’ like they’re tryin’ to escape. Next thing I know, she's nearly got the boot fully loaded, lets go the trolley, and bang! Right into me bike's back tire, sending a bag of mangoes tumblin’ across the tarmac.

 

I freeze, look to see if there is much bike damage, look at her, and she’s practically sprintin’ over, breathin’ like she’s just done a marathon, doin’ a half-lunge as she apologises. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” I just wave it off, “No worries, love, it’s fine.” Calm as a cucumber, like this sort of thing happens all the time in Thailand, which, frankly, it does.

 

Then she squints at the rear of me bike, spots a scratch, and goes, “Maybe you could pop by my condo later, we could… talk about getting it fixed?” I glance down at her hand, big shiny ring, clear as a diamond. Not my first rodeo, mates. Got caught playin' the double bass a few weeks back with some other bloke's missus. Last thing I need is endin’ up in another geezer’s bed again with his wife and me bits out tryin’ to settle a fender bender.

 

So I flash me cheeky grin, give her a polite nod, and wheel me bike off, leavin’ her standin’ there wonderin'. Thailand, innit. Where your bike can take a hit, your nerves stay calm, and you still dodge a full-on domestic drama, all in a minute.

Writing this crap is the result of partaking in way too many prescriptions drugs.

So take note boys, girls and others these things DO cause damage

Sounds like the beginning of a Penthouse Forum letter 🤣

Pulp Fiction .....

 

regards Worgeordie

If anyone beleives any of the op crap they need help.

Another boring yarn from Bob. How's that second childhood treating you?

1 hour ago, theshu25 said:

If anyone beleives any of the op crap they need help.

 

If it starts with mates, lads, guys or chaps I don't bother with them

4 hours ago, Grumpy one said:

Writing this crap is the result of partaking in way too many prescriptions drugs.

So take note boys, girls and others these things DO cause damage

Oh jealous are we Grandpa ?

Just because he had luck and you don't 

Sitting in your small room listening to Lemon tree song 

Dont be .....jealous !

I was just at that Big C. The REAL tragedy - what happened to that donut shop and the Dairy Queen that had been there for years? Their fragrant fair was a delightful welcome.

7 hours ago, SingAPorn said:

(and if the store says "no can do"....I do a "no can have money-money" and try another store....they all end up in delivering if you insist

 

If they all end up delivering when you insist, as you claim, how did you ever need to "try another store"?

Too much of a simp to ask for monetary compensation for the scratch?

What happened to LL version 1.0 ???

2 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

Oh jealous are we Grandpa ?

Just because he had luck and you don't 

Sitting in your small room listening to Lemon tree song 

Dont be .....jealous !

One question, What the F##k is Lemon tree song

I know I'm an old fart but really, I did have a life back then, even if I was covered in oil and grease keeping my old V8 side valves going

7 hours ago, Grumpy one said:

Writing this crap is the result of partaking in way too many prescriptions drugs.

So take note boys, girls and others these things DO cause damage

 

Wrong... 'writing this crap' is the result of AI !!!....    But, we don't have to open the threads if we don't want to.... We all know what LL's tales and writing is like now...      Its in the 'pub' section - just entertainment...

17 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Wrong... 'writing this crap' is the result of AI !!!....    But, we don't have to open the threads if we don't want to.... We all know what LL's tales and writing is like now...      Its in the 'pub' section - just entertainment...

I don't see any entertainment value in these ramblings.

It was better when Rooster actually had a weekly ' column'.

Quality in Big C seems to dwindle...in Hua Hin anyhow the last time. They replaced that overpriced Gourmet Market in Bluport - fine. But the new Big C seemed unable to maintain the standard with the most basic requirement - half the shelves were rempty. Hope it has changed since...

 

The Big C's in Bangkok, even in the most remote Soi's seemed better equiped and their prices were far cheaper compared to the overcharging all over Hua Hin. 

Did you grab her mangos?

3 hours ago, Grumpy one said:

One question, What the F##k is Lemon tree song

I know I'm an old fart but really, I did have a life back then, even if I was covered in oil and grease keeping my old V8 side valves going

Can someone post the Lemon tree song 1995 please 

This was the song the poor old man was playing laying on his bed in the rundown sad Flybird condominium 

 

 

What a waste of time.

3 hours ago, emptypockets said:

I don't see any entertainment value in these ramblings.

It was better when Rooster actually had a weekly ' column'.

 

You do realise no one’s forcing you to read these ramblings, right?

 

It’s not as though he’s trolling or trying to stir up arguments like some do, nor is it the mind-numbing drivel churned out by those dimmer posters who somehow imagine themselves clever.

Your AI prompts are getting really good, to be honest 😉

15 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Crikey, This happens to you to? 

 

No. He remembers reading a similar story in Penthouse Forum 35 years ago and rewrote it with Thailand references.

 

14 hours ago, Grumpy one said:

One question, What the F##k is Lemon tree song

I know I'm an old fart but really, I did have a life back then, even if I was covered in oil and grease keeping my old V8 side valves going

 

10 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

Can someone post the Lemon tree song 1995 please 

This was the song the poor old man was playing laying on his bed in the rundown sad Flybird condominium 

 

 

This one I presume?

13 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

Can someone post the Lemon tree song 1995 please 

This was the song the poor old man was playing laying on his bed in the rundown sad Flybird condominium 

If you are referring to me, you are way off course.

As for you, a little man who gets bitch slapped by ladyboys and monkeys

What does this say about you.

It must be a sad life you have when primates and the lowlifes reject you.

Best you return to Aus and put on a brave face and try to act as a man, although that may be impossible.

No doubt your farther would agree with me on your less than manly whining 

On 10/10/2025 at 7:15 AM, LL 2.0 said:

Well then mates, so I’m rollin’ into Second Road Big-C yesterday, my new Honda Wave lookin' all shiny and polished, ready to grab a few bits and bobs, maybe a cold one after. Sun’s out, car park buzzing, people flappin’ about like they’re auditionin’ for Fast and Furious: Thailand edition. Nothing unusual.

 

I’m manoeuvrin’ into a spot, mindin’ me own, checkin' my messages for a sec, when out of the corner of me eye, I see a Thai bird, late twenties I reckon, in full-on pink and purple fitness gear, brail-level tight on the minge, all Lycra and attitude, loading up her sports model BMW. She’s got the trolley stacked like she’s done shopping for a year, bags teetering, bottles of wine wobblin’ like they’re tryin’ to escape. Next thing I know, she's nearly got the boot fully loaded, lets go the trolley, and bang! Right into me bike's back tire, sending a bag of mangoes tumblin’ across the tarmac.

 

I freeze, look to see if there is much bike damage, look at her, and she’s practically sprintin’ over, breathin’ like she’s just done a marathon, doin’ a half-lunge as she apologises. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” I just wave it off, “No worries, love, it’s fine.” Calm as a cucumber, like this sort of thing happens all the time in Thailand, which, frankly, it does.

 

Then she squints at the rear of me bike, spots a scratch, and goes, “Maybe you could pop by my condo later, we could… talk about getting it fixed?” I glance down at her hand, big shiny ring, clear as a diamond. Not my first rodeo, mates. Got caught playin' the double bass a few weeks back with some other bloke's missus. Last thing I need is endin’ up in another geezer’s bed again with his wife and me bits out tryin’ to settle a fender bender.

 

So I flash me cheeky grin, give her a polite nod, and wheel me bike off, leavin’ her standin’ there wonderin'. Thailand, innit. Where your bike can take a hit, your nerves stay calm, and you still dodge a full-on domestic drama, all in a minute.

 

On 10/10/2025 at 7:15 AM, LL 2.0 said:

Well then mates, so I’m rollin’ into Second Road Big-C yesterday, my new Honda Wave lookin' all shiny and polished, ready to grab a few bits and bobs, maybe a cold one after. Sun’s out, car park buzzing, people flappin’ about like they’re auditionin’ for Fast and Furious: Thailand edition. Nothing unusual.

 

I’m manoeuvrin’ into a spot, mindin’ me own, checkin' my messages for a sec, when out of the corner of me eye, I see a Thai bird, late twenties I reckon, in full-on pink and purple fitness gear, brail-level tight on the minge, all Lycra and attitude, loading up her sports model BMW. She’s got the trolley stacked like she’s done shopping for a year, bags teetering, bottles of wine wobblin’ like they’re tryin’ to escape. Next thing I know, she's nearly got the boot fully loaded, lets go the trolley, and bang! Right into me bike's back tire, sending a bag of mangoes tumblin’ across the tarmac.

 

I freeze, look to see if there is much bike damage, look at her, and she’s practically sprintin’ over, breathin’ like she’s just done a marathon, doin’ a half-lunge as she apologises. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” I just wave it off, “No worries, love, it’s fine.” Calm as a cucumber, like this sort of thing happens all the time in Thailand, which, frankly, it does.

 

Then she squints at the rear of me bike, spots a scratch, and goes, “Maybe you could pop by my condo later, we could… talk about getting it fixed?” I glance down at her hand, big shiny ring, clear as a diamond. Not my first rodeo, mates. Got caught playin' the double bass a few weeks back with some other bloke's missus. Last thing I need is endin’ up in another geezer’s bed again with his wife and me bits out tryin’ to settle a fender bender.

 

So I flash me cheeky grin, give her a polite nod, and wheel me bike off, leavin’ her standin’ there wonderin'. Thailand, innit. Where your bike can take a hit, your nerves stay calm, and you still dodge a full-on domestic drama, all in a minute.

Welcome back Bob.