21 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

But sadly off topic, as this thread is about the failures of LTRs in the western world 

Pretty much any reasonable guy can manage a lifetime relationship in Thailand.

Of course, it is what it is, but it is rear to hear men talk about their wives with passion, affection, love and respect. 

 

Many are together, but that’s about it after awhile, and both takes each other for granted, and treats each other 

 

however, relationships comes in many forms, so, 

25 minutes ago, Hummin said:

 

Respect, and good to hear some positive stories on this forum. It becomes less every day as we speak. There is hope

 

Two of my brothers never got divorced, but they seem miserable.

 

Not sure what's making them so miserable, but clearly being married to the same woman your whole life will not necessarily solve all your problems. 

 

Also, no one talks about the insane amount of "maintenance" required to keep a marriage going -- it's not just about 2 people, but it's the entire families on both sides, the endless social obligations that drain all your free time, etc ... 

 

When you're older and not working, this is less of a problem.

But I remember the endless family demands and obligations on weekends was exhausting. 

 

1 minute ago, save the frogs said:

 

Two of my brothers never got divorced, but they seem miserable.

 

Not sure what's making them so miserable, but clearly being married to the same woman your whole life will not necessarily solve all your problems. 

 

Also, no one talks about the insane amount of "maintenance" required to keep a marriage going -- it's not just about 2 people, but it's the entire families on both sides, the endless social obligations that drain all your free time, etc ... 

 

When you're older and not working, this is less of a problem.

But I remember the endless family demands and obligations on weekends was exhausting. 

 

 

News for you, and not trying to be the smart guy, but throughout your whole life, you are met with high maintenance to keep yourself present, updated, your health, and your social life as well partner in life. All this takes work and dedication, and all of them leads to a better life. 

 

I do not say people should stay together for any price, and i people are miserable in a relationship, they should either see where it fails, fix it, or leave. 

 

There is no secrets for a better life, just dedication, discipline and work. When you understand those simple things, you can do something for yourself, and other people 

 

1 minute ago, Hummin said:

and not trying to be the smart guy

are you sure about that? 

Now aged 84, married to my first wife, who was from Scotland, from 1962-1986, and still happily married to my second wife, from Thailand, since 1990.

I suppose the financial incentive for women to stay in relationships is largely gone. Even in Thailand women can work easily now.

 

If religion does not shame adultery or cheating, and there's no or little social constraint on those who cheat, inevitably the rate of cheating will be high.

 

It's probably harder than ever to make a relationship last today.

45 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

are you sure about that? 

I am the guy who continuesly complains about my life? And continuesly asking questions about how to live my life?

 

Im being ridiculed by answer obviously straight forward simple questions, and Im the narcissistic here who oppose weed, improving my life by doing what I think is best for me and mine, and also keeping my motivation high for keeping myself in shape. And sharing simple complete normal things being tested to its fullest on this forum. 

 

So you tell me? 

 

You can question why I bother at all, but for me it is just another repetition for myself why I still continue doing the same I have done throughout my life, and also understanding those time I met challenges, I did not do as I preaching now. I had my periods in life where I also questioned everything, had slightly conspiracy theories understanding of the world and everyone else’s foult I had trouble. 

 

Life is easy when you are on a roll, but there is consequences for becoming to sure about everything, and there is also economic consequences as well physical challenges when everything goes against you. 

 

Finding back the those days when things where rolling, it seems it is one recipe that works for most. Do what you can with our abilities, and do it first of all for yourself, and then you see you start to have energy and resources to do and be somebody and something for others. 

 

As said there is no secrets, and no you do not need a lot of money, but financial secured is always an advantage. 

 

But these simple things seems to trigger people, so again, why should I bother what Im okay! That’s the F question

 

just wasting time on negativity and negative people 

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

 

Respect, and good to hear some positive stories on this forum. It becomes less every day as we speak. There is hope

But the positive stories all involved Thai women, so not the western fantasy this thread is about.

 

I've never thought western women were the problem, but their access to western courts certainly is.

1 hour ago, Cameroni said:

I suppose the financial incentive for women to stay in relationships is largely gone. Even in Thailand women can work easily now.

 

If religion does not shame adultery or cheating, and there's no or little social constraint on those who cheat, inevitably the rate of cheating will be high.

 

It's probably harder than ever to make a relationship last today.

 

The new trend young men flocking back to religion in hope for better times and better marked price. 

 

Unbelievable from the crazy rebels in the 50ies, freedom and free sex in the  70ies back to the church again and welcoming conservative societies. 

 

Fantastic 

9 minutes ago, Hummin said:

 

The new trend young men flocking back to religion in hope for better times and better marked price. 

 

Unbelievable from the crazy rebels in the 50ies, freedom and free sex in the  70ies back to the church again and welcoming conservative societies. 

 

Fantastic 

 

Yes, even manosphere gurus like Roosh V ended up becoming hardcore Russian Orthodox Christians. It's bizarre.

 

A lot of the young influencers on men's matters are Christians as well.

 

I've noticed even young Thai girls are taking up Christianity, young Thai guys as well. It's surprising.

20 minutes ago, Hummin said:

 

The new trend young men flocking back to religion in hope for better times and better marked price. 

 

Unbelievable from the crazy rebels in the 50ies, freedom and free sex in the  70ies back to the church again and welcoming conservative societies. 

 

Fantastic 

Yeah, but they're flocking back to the wrong religion, if you want your woman to be faithful until death, Islam is the only way to go!

You need to find a partner that has not been infected by the Western women syndrome.

As well, if you're going hook up for a long lasting relationship with an Asian lady, then you need to adopt to her cultures in her Country.

On 11/29/2025 at 4:35 AM, BritManToo said:

You've all either 1) failed to get a women, or 2) succeeded and been divorced and asset stripped.

Not me, but I do know of some...

7 hours ago, atpeace said:

True, but enduring your final days, months or years in poor health without a partner can be depressing I assume.    Most relationships here seem to be wanting but probably better than withering away alone. 

 

Many options here to play hard while it is better than settling down with a good woman.  It helps to be  lucky and  as thoughtful as possible about your choices befores the  decision to partner up.  The best part is that it is much easier in Thailand  to walk away from poor choices gracefully or battered and bruised.

As many of the relationships are based on money it's likely in the final months and years may not be that great, may not even like each other

I was married and divorced two time to the same western women. Was single and had three kids to take care. One day my best friend wife (Thai) asks if I would ever get married. I told her when I fine a lady like you who takes so good of care of her men, when yes, I got just the lady for you. She wrote her a telling her about me, we then wrote back and forth for about a year. I wrote to her in English and she would reply in English. She did not read, write or speak English her younger sister did all translating. They what me to go to Thailand and meet the family and get to know each other. I could not go outside the US without permission that was never ever given by organization. So finely convinced her to come to the US, got her the F 90-day visa and within a month she was here. We got know each other but then I got notified that I was being sent overseas. I what’d to have come with me we needed get married right away due the paper work needed for her new Visa. So after just 6 weeks of knowing each other, we were married and on overseas. That was 44 years ago. Now retired and living in Bangkok. In our early 80’s and still happily married.

4 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

As many of the relationships are based on money it's likely in the final months and years may not be that great, may not even like each other

Not sure and you might be right.  Running through my head all the relationships here where the guy died or was on his last legs. The girls stuck around and really took care of them.  They all were probably going to get loads a money at the end but oh well. 

 

The saddest death was a single guy living in my condo during Covid.  He was popular with the pool crowd but when his kidneys quit on him, nobody was there to help.  I drove him to hospital for a while to get dialysis and cleaned his room a little.  I shed some tears one evening after going to his room to check up on him.  Nobody deserves that type of desperate lonely demise.

 

In the end, you seem to be enjoying yourself thoroughly so live the life you chose and I bet you deal with the end efficiently.

11 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Different times, different laws.

Thailand still uses the laws our countries used to have.

New laws apply to them and not much has hanged in the last 30 years anyhow. 

2 minutes ago, atpeace said:

They all were probably going to get loads a money at the end but oh well. 

 

Or in some cases, they do it for love. There's no way to know what someone's intentions are.

 

But in that case you just mentioned, if you don't have a partner you at least need to make some close friends OR get a nurse or a helper on the radar. Plenty of people in Thailand looking to make some extra money and will assist you with hospital visits, etc ...

 

3 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

 

Or in some cases, they do it for love. There's no way to know what someone's intentions are.

 

But in that case you just mentioned, if you don't have a partner you at least need to make some close friends OR get a nurse or a helper on the radar. Plenty of people in Thailand looking to make some extra money and will assist you with hospital visits, etc ...

 

Yep, mine will be with me to the end.  We are good together and she has her own money which I hope is a good thing 🙂

 

Many options here that  are affordable. It was hard to device a plan in his case because he was a wreck.  Thankfully the condo's management stepped up eventually and I was able to just check-in on him on occasion until he passed.

 

 

11 hours ago, EVENKEEL said:

This is where people differ. When I'm not feeling well I want to be left alone. 

Until you crap yourself and lose control of your bladder.  Death is messy in most cases.  Get where you're coming from when not feeling well but there are levels.

1 hour ago, save the frogs said:

 

Or in some cases, they do it for love. There's no way to know what someone's intentions are.

 

But in that case you just mentioned, if you don't have a partner you at least need to make some close friends OR get a nurse or a helper on the radar. Plenty of people in Thailand looking to make some extra money and will assist you with hospital visits, etc ...

 

It's the same for elderly Thais as well.

My misses earns money sorting them out.

Most people can't manage entirely alone as they near the end.

On 11/28/2025 at 11:24 PM, Cameroni said:

 

I think a lot of people confuse limerence with love, this state of love when you first start out. Of course that's gone in a year or two. Guaranteed. Then, it will depend if you both get what you want, financial in her case, sex in your case.

 

Sometimes that can work out a long time, I was with the Russian wife for 23 years, until the "grass is greener" thing set in. 

 

It's never everlasting of course, even if it lasts one willl die first. It is a fantasy really. But long and lasting relationships can happen, if you pass two decades your'e pushing it though.

I knew a couple that had been married for over 60 years. 

 

I had an aunt and uncle that were married for more than 70 years.   My aunt died on a Saturday and was buried on Wednesday.  My uncle died the following Saturday and was buried Wednesday.   My aunt was 86 years old I think, my uncle was 97 or 98.   I think he died of a broken heart. 

4 hours ago, radiochaser said:

My aunt was 86 years old I think, my uncle was 97 or 98.   I think he died of a broken heart. 

One of the advantages of having a Thai wife 30+ years younger than yourself.

In my divorce in the UK after 12 years of marriage, she had a drink problem and I threw her out, they were no children. I got the house, car, all the assets and money in the bank, she got £500. To cut a long story short, she tried to get 50% of everything, even  her own family would have backed me up in court.

 

On 11/29/2025 at 10:35 AM, BritManToo said:

And I'll get many thumbs down for pointing this out

Probably...  I don't understand why.  If someone doesn't like what you wrote, does that mean they had better experiences?  

11 minutes ago, AgMech Cowboy said:

Probably...  I don't understand why.  If someone doesn't like what you wrote, does that mean they had better experiences?  

Clearly they haven't as they're all either single or with Thai women.

And any western couples they bring up as successful were born in the 1940s when the game was different, and divorced women were shunned by society.

 

I remember the UK in the 1960s and 1970s all adult 30+ women were either married, widowed, or considered odd and generally avoided.

It's all a fantasy, isn't it? No matter where you are, you either maintain a relationship with the force of peer pressure and local customs or you do so by mutual agreement. Some use money as part of that agreement and are okay with that.

I'm not sure what 'opposing weed' and 'keeping themselves in shape' have to do with this thread. I guess that someone has some personal issues unrelated to this thread. If he has a Thai woman, then he can perhaps comment about his experience with Western women, rather than to continue to attempt to pummel everyone with his apparently unrelated virtue signalling. In the end he seems to be paying to keep his fantasy going, which is what this thread is about. Quite the burden. Is he having fun? You'll have to ask him. Doesn't sound like it.

My LTR have all been with non Asian women and I get a lot of love from them. It's up to you as to how you conduct your life. You can join the crowd or you can choose to forge your own path.

 

 

 

On 12/2/2025 at 5:42 AM, jerrymahoney said:

One of the advantages of having a Thai wife 30+ years younger than yourself.

and how is that working for most here?  Some exceptions but loads of unhappy couples here that are going through the motions and all the excitement is gone. Young women are nice until they become tedious is my opinion but what is great about Thailand is you can choose and possibly to your own detriment 🙂

21 hours ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

It's all a fantasy, isn't it? No matter where you are, you either maintain a relationship with the force of peer pressure and local customs or you do so by mutual agreement. Some use money as part of that agreement and are okay with that.

I'm not sure what 'opposing weed' and 'keeping themselves in shape' have to do with this thread. I guess that someone has some personal issues unrelated to this thread. If he has a Thai woman, then he can perhaps comment about his experience with Western women, rather than to continue to attempt to pummel everyone with his apparently unrelated virtue signalling. In the end he seems to be paying to keep his fantasy going, which is what this thread is about. Quite the burden. Is he having fun? You'll have to ask him. Doesn't sound like it.

My LTR have all been with non Asian women and I get a lot of love from them. It's up to you as to how you conduct your life. You can join the crowd or you can choose to forge your own path.

 

 

 

I agree but what do you do now in Thailand in regards to relationships?

Just now, atpeace said:

and how is that working for most here?  Some exceptions but loads of unhappy couples here that are going through the motions and all the excitement is gone. Young women are nice until they become tedious is my opinion but what is great about Thailand is you can choose and possibly to your own detriment 🙂

My Thai wife is lovely, 20 years younger than me and I can't imagine being any happier or content. Not much excitement for anything at age 70 though.