There is an awkward reality about getting older as an aging man that nobody really likes to talk about. Desire does not disappear, but the dating scene often does. Attention fades, expectations rise, and what once felt natural starts to feel like effort with very low returns.

In my opinion, this leads to something interesting rather than tragic. Men living in Thailand that have the advantage where pay for play is easy and discreet find themselves in a position of fulfillment greater than they ever did, even when they were younger. No more pretending. No emotional labour. No future implied. Just an honest transaction, once or twice a week. Sex without the performance art.

Some of these men are not necessarily rejected by dating or relationships. They simply opt out. Been there, done that. They now value their quiet, their routines, and their solitude. They do not want a partner reshaping their life, nor consuming too much of their available time, but they also do not want celibacy as that price for independence.

So are they lucky?

Compared to men who age in places where these options do not exist, maybe they are. Those men often face a harsher choice. Loneliness, an expensive Only Fans subscription with oversized jars of lube versus the alternative of accepting endless participation in dating systems that no longer work for them. So neither given option is ideal.

It is not intimacy what you get for a couple thousand baht in the LOS, and nobody claims it is. But it does offer options and raise an uncomfortable question. Is it really sadder to pay for sex than to keep performing for interest and attention that is never coming back?

Sometimes what looks like decline from the outside is just pragmatism. And sometimes simplicity is not failure at all, but escape, relief and the freedom to choose.

Great post! Well done.

Something about the West is very isolating, especially in small cities where going anywhere requires a car and money. Being a lonely old man seems almost inevitable without family.

But do young Thai women enjoy servicing wrinkled and fat farangs for 2,000 baht? Many of the ones I've seen display signs of sexual trauma.

5 minutes ago, davb said:

Something about the West is very isolating, especially in small cities where going anywhere requires a car and money. Being a lonely old man seems almost inevitable without family.

But do young Thai women enjoy servicing wrinkled and fat farangs for 2,000 baht? Many of the ones I've seen display signs of sexual trauma.

The farang or the Thai girl??

6 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

Loneliness, an expensive Only Fans subscription with oversized jars of lube versus the alternative of accepting endless participation in dating systems that no longer work for them. So neither given option is ideal.

3rd option : free porn , no lube , never ever lonely , 0 thb spent.

Great post - not relevant for myself (married 10+ years to a Thai) but very relevant for many here and I can see that it is true. Unlikely (I hope) to be single again - but if I am, then that is what I will do as well. This is far more prevalent in many 'poorer' countries, where the girls are more freely available at a price that wont destroy your income - not spoken about much in the liberal feminist media. Many older men, once rap**ed financially (or when they wise up), have moved to where they dont run the risk of being 'caught' (if sensible) and then financially rap**ed 5-10 years later by a western woman. More and more males from the West are 'opting out' of the sexual predator trap that is a young western women - unless they find a good one and want to have a family. But even the good ones are proving to be not so good in the long run, and IMO the run of the feminists in charge is coming to an end.

I saw an interesting Joe Rogan interview - it was about Sex Robots. It is truly amazing how far they have come in such a short period of time. That is a business that is bound to make $billions - so many younger males are 'opting out' of the trap nowadays, and a robot at home will be an option taken up for sure by those with the money. Over time that will be a huge growth industry - I wonder if my boss was referring to that when he said Tesla robots will be taking over in the future?

It's an attractive theory for a simpler lifestyle, but for me it lacks an essential element.

There was a time when I was still living in the West that I had some success on the dating scene - having a good job, a house, a nice car and not looking like Quasimodo was enough for women in their 30's who given up on ever meeting Brad Pitt and so we're willing to go with a normal bloke.

But despite a series of casual relationships with full benefits, something was missing.

Call me old fashioned, but sex without love wasn't doing it for me.

I met someone special, had a great few years, but a job move to Asia caused a split.

In Thailand the unlimited access to short time wasn't for me. But someone I really care for, and who cares for me, and is smart, 24 years younger than me and hot! Now that works for me.

15 years together, she's still hot (the 24 year age gap helps), she runs our business and I would never consider a short term alternative.

7 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

Men living in Thailand that have the advantage where pay for play is easy and discreet find themselves in a position of fulfillment greater than they ever did, even when they were younger. No more pretending. No emotional labour. No future implied. Just an honest transaction, once or twice a week. Sex without the performance art.

So, you mean it´s like in every other country, right? Just pay for a prostitute and get it done.

That´s how easy it was to summarize your prolonged OP.

6 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

Call me old fashioned, but sex without love wasn't doing it for me.

Nothing wrong with that. It´s only normal. Not old fashioned at all. Just a respected and sincere way of living a life. It should be more of you.

37 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

It's an attractive theory for a simpler lifestyle, but for me it lacks an essential element.

There was a time when I was still living in the West that I had some success on the dating scene - having a good job, a house, a nice car and not looking like Quasimodo was enough for women in their 30's who given up on ever meeting Brad Pitt and so we're willing to go with a normal bloke.

But despite a series of casual relationships with full benefits, something was missing.

Call me old fashioned, but sex without love wasn't doing it for me.

I met someone special, had a great few years, but a job move to Asia caused a split.

In Thailand the unlimited access to short time wasn't for me. But someone I really care for, and who cares for me, and is smart, 24 years younger than me and hot! Now that works for me.

15 years together, she's still hot (the 24 year age gap helps), she runs our business and I would never consider a short term alternative.

Same basic story for me without the age gap. I have never cheated on her and travel alone often. Just don't have the desire and she is all I want.

So many here in pathetic relationships and that is interesting. Location doesn't matter. I understand why they cheat and I would too.

9 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

There is an awkward reality about getting older as an aging man that nobody really likes to talk about. Desire does not disappear, but the dating scene often does. Attention fades, expectations rise, and what once felt natural starts to feel like effort with very low returns.

In my opinion, this leads to something interesting rather than tragic. Men living in Thailand that have the advantage where pay for play is easy and discreet find themselves in a position of fulfillment greater than they ever did, even when they were younger. No more pretending. No emotional labour. No future implied. Just an honest transaction, once or twice a week. Sex without the performance art.

Some of these men are not necessarily rejected by dating or relationships. They simply opt out. Been there, done that. They now value their quiet, their routines, and their solitude. They do not want a partner reshaping their life, nor consuming too much of their available time, but they also do not want celibacy as that price for independence.

So are they lucky?

Compared to men who age in places where these options do not exist, maybe they are. Those men often face a harsher choice. Loneliness, an expensive Only Fans subscription with oversized jars of lube versus the alternative of accepting endless participation in dating systems that no longer work for them. So neither given option is ideal.

It is not intimacy what you get for a couple thousand baht in the LOS, and nobody claims it is. But it does offer options and raise an uncomfortable question. Is it really sadder to pay for sex than to keep performing for interest and attention that is never coming back?

Sometimes what looks like decline from the outside is just pragmatism. And sometimes simplicity is not failure at all, but escape, relief and the freedom to choose.

Your post misses out the necessary condom use which makes sex rubbish for me.

It misses out the fakeness of any emotion expressed. I've worked in the service sector and my fake smile convinced everyone I wasn't bored stupid.

It misses out the hush hush moral component. Do you really want to bribe someone to have sex with you?

Don't we all aspire to be compassionate humans living by the rules of loving kindness? I'd feel pretty bad if I found out my daughter was having sex with old men for money. There's a reason for that feeling.

9 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

expectations rise

Only expectations?

And nothing else?

Where I am now, there is no temptation LOL

5 hours ago, davb said:

But do young Thai women enjoy servicing wrinkled and fat farangs for 2,000 baht?

you think too much

1 hour ago, sidjameson said:

I'd feel pretty bad if I found out my daughter was having sex with old men for money. There's a reason for that feeling.

would you "be ok" with her having sex for money with younger men? or what if she was doing it for free?. Most men have issues regarding their daughters having sex

Assuming she is above the age of consent its really none of your business who she has sex with or why

1 hour ago, sidjameson said:

Your post misses out the necessary condom use which makes sex rubbish for me.

It misses out the fakeness of any emotion expressed. I've worked in the service sector and my fake smile convinced everyone I wasn't bored stupid.

It misses out the hush hush moral component. Do you really want to bribe someone to have sex with you?

Don't we all aspire to be compassionate humans living by the rules of loving kindness? I'd feel pretty bad if I found out my daughter was having sex with old men for money. There's a reason for that feeling.

You are debating morality and preference. Wrong place, wrong time. The post was about availability of options.

49 minutes ago, GammaGlobulin said:

Only expectations?

And nothing else?

Don't quit your day job to get into stand-up.

4 hours ago, FlorC said:

3rd option : free porn , no lube , never ever lonely , 0 thb spent.

Post photos with circles, arrows, diagrams, and captions so we can all learn from your valuable experience and expertise.

6 hours ago, emptypockets said:

Great post! Well done.

Cheers. 👍🏼

6 hours ago, davb said:

Something about the West is very isolating, especially in small cities where going anywhere requires a car and money. Being a lonely old man seems almost inevitable without family.

But do young Thai women enjoy servicing wrinkled and fat farangs for 2,000 baht? Many of the ones I've seen display signs of sexual trauma.

And many go on to marry said farangs, many of whom are not fat and some are not wrinkly.

Makes perfect sense, especially for elderly Farangs living in Thailand.

What would be the alternative? = Marrying a 20 year old Thai female, including her family, functioning as the "pay master" for the family?

This is a very thoughtful post and I think it's quite relevant for a lot of men. I'm married and I've been with the same woman for a long time and for the most part it's a very good relationship and it's quite fulfilling. But we do have some issues and it is a challenge from time to time, like with most relationships.

If something were to happen or if for some reason I ended up single at this stage of my life, I would make no effort whatsoever to ever engage in a serious relationship again. And even if someone exceptional dropped into my lap, I seriously doubt that I would pursue it beyond friends with benefits.

I know a lot of men that are single these days, many of them want to be in relationships, some of them have simply opted out and decided it's just not something that they need, especially here in Thailand where affection is pretty easy to come by if one can afford it.

2 hours ago, Bday Prang said:

would you "be ok" with her having sex for money with younger men? or what if she was doing it for free?. Most men have issues regarding their daughters having sex

Assuming she is above the age of consent its really none of your business who she has sex with or why

I think a lot of fathers would be quite astonished to know how frequently their daughters were having sex with men they barely knew, it's infinitely more prevalent than most fathers want to admit.

And in the West if the woman is younger and pretty it's always pay for play, whether it's stated up front or not.

13 hours ago, davb said:

Many of the ones I've seen display signs of sexual trauma.

whatever have you been doing to them ?

Simplicity is, when there is something you want, she is one step ahead of you.

14 hours ago, emptypockets said:

Great post! Well done.

Thankyou!!

14 hours ago, FlorC said:

3rd option : free porn , no lube , never ever lonely , 0 thb spent.

and you can easily and quickly change "partners" if the first one ain't doin it for you

4 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

Thankyou!!

What??

15 hours ago, sidjameson said:

Your post misses out the necessary condom use which makes sex rubbish for me.

I never use condoms as I prefer to keep my immortal soul.

Don't seem to have caught anything either.

6 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I never use condoms as I prefer to keep my immortal soul.

Don't seem to have caught anything either.

That's impressive.

I've had many women I considered a "safe bet" and never caught anything.

I had sex three times with three different women I thought of as dodgy and caught three different diseases. One of which hundred years ago would have killed me.

6 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I never use condoms as I prefer to keep my immortal soul.

Don't seem to have caught anything either.

I can't use them. The smell, the faffing about to get it on, the reduced sensitivity and the ones sold in 7 are all too small ..... no, seriously, they seem to be made for Asian physiques, where do falang sized men buy their supplies?

In a steady relationship anyway - so I rely on "getting off at Edge Hill" ..... (This is an old Liverpool joke).