What'S With Farangs & Their Thai Gfs Holding Hands All The Time

[Bagwan]

How sad that so many contributors here cannot rise above their sad little lives where only bar ladies exist. Does it not ever occur to them that they have to buy fleeting moments of passion because they are so unattractive as persons that no worthwhile ladies will consort with them? They seem to be totally unaware of the multitude of decent Thai ladies with high moral standards that exist and that many joyfully marry and cohabit with farangs who treat them as equal partners in a loving and civilised manner. It seems to me that cynicism rules their every thought - if they ever have any that doesn't make themselves the centre of things and the innocent party in all the bad things that happened in their lives.

Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for - and the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more.

[diggerdo]

Thais do not exhibit outward affection in public. it is a cultural thing, that is changing with the younger generation.

Married 3 years and counting, and we still hold hands, not Always but many times. we enjoy it, it is good for the heart and good for the soul.

PS: why the BG comment? you mean it is right for Farang with non "BG" looking wife to hold hands but not for the 'BG" looking wife?

I see. The BG comment was just an observation/interpretation. Nobody can deny that many of Falang male Thai female relationships fit this description (at least in Bangkok). I'm not one to judge though, so it's fine.

I do think the aneliane's last comment is certainly a possibility. Never thought of that one. I guess my bias against BG-looking women is showing.

I think it's you just assuming that if a guy is walking down the street with a younger Thai girl that she is a bar girl. Office girls go out with farang guys too, but maybe they just don't hang out in the bars that you go to.

I don't go to bars at all. I hate bars. Bad music, soccer (which I don't much like), and girls coming by every 3 minutes to bother talk to me in broken English.

Hey man, careful.. you are going to give the rest of us oil guys a bad name

[Soutpeel]

In my limited experience its usually the Thai GF instigating this. She is saying to the other BG's "Hands off! This one is mine".......

Yep that's pretty much it but judging by the speed with which I've seen men in their 50s barge through a crowd to get back to the bird they've clearly spent more than a few baht on as soon as they see a younger, slimmer, better-looking guy having a closer look at her, there's a definitely a bit of "Hands off, she's mine" going on with the guys too.

The guys instigate it just as much as the girls. I live close to Soi Cowboy and can't help but chuckle when I see a guy, hand-in-hand with freshly-barfined roadkill, bowling down the street with his chest puffed out and a proud grin on his face . . .

. . . right before she swerves him into that rip-off Thai restaurant opposite the 7-11 on soi 23 from which she'll earn a kick-back if he spends decent money.

Its my belief that the hand holding is initated by the farang, after all they have just made a deposit for services and they are ensuring the lady concerned doesnt run off with a better paying/better looking punter, thus loosing their deposits...

To me it is all very sad and somewhat pathetic seeing a geriatric farang holding hands in public with his Thai "child" bride or GF

[endure]

What's with discussing the behaviour of strangers which doesn't affect you? Why are you so offended because two people who you don't know hold hands? Will you go to hell if you see them holding hands? Will your willy drop off? No? Then ignore them!

[mca]

How sad that so many contributors here cannot rise above their sad little lives where only bar ladies exist.

Isn't it just.

[Jessi]

The girls wont let go of the ATM card.

[David006]

The Canuck mentioned rubbing noses....what about the Thai sniff kiss...threw me !!

.....when I first came to Thailand and was sitting in a marina bar with a young lady (oh the humanities!!) she kept sniffing me...thought it was my overpriced aftershave...she was not inclined to "suck face"..she did hold hands though..

Grown used to the sniff kisses now....rather nice actually..

[aneliane]

!st month holding hands next month holding throats, natural progression.

+1

[krobert6]

Well, I don't look like a bar gir and neither does my wife.

I like holding my wife's hand sometimes, she like's holding mine.

I enjoy intimacy between my wife and I, wether it be holding hands or just putting my hand on her lap whilst were driving.

Its just called affection, it's nice, I like it and something my wife and enjoy.

I see sometimes elderly couples who hold hands, it's quite endeering and really in a world thats full of so much crap these days, seeing a couple walk down the street holding hands is nice, it's like a little reminder that we are all just humans.

I understand what the OP is getting at though, it must seem shallow seeing punters everywhere living the GFE, knowing what it really is.

Well said, My wife and I normally do not hold hands as we are too busy running after the children. But when we were out at night at a festival during Songkran without the kids she held onto me - she said there were too many available girls there wanting a Falang

[canuckamuck]

Thai girls like it, if they actually like you.

Thai guys don't seem to like it so they don't do it much.

No mystery here

[TommoPhysicist]

I think it has something to do with showing public affection. Thai people don't like it, it's considered impolite or something.

My boyfriend never shows public affection towards me in public and very rarely holds my hand unless we're crossing a busy road...

I asked him why once as I was a little miffed at first and he said "Thai people don't do that." - it was confirmed for me by other Thai friends of mine.

I have found

The over 50s are still traditional in the villages and disapprove of PDAs.

But generally Thais under 40, if they really like you, they will hold on to you.

If you are just a cash machine many pretend 'traditional values'

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I didn't bother reading all the comments and am addressing the OP only, assuming he wasn't taking the piss.

I believe you're not farang correct?

It is perfectly normal in farang culture for couples to hold hands in public, nothing wrong with it at all anywhere.

When I was at boarding school in my early teens any PDA between student couples was punished, but everyone thought that was a stupid rule and in fact it was rarely enforced.

It is true here in Thailand it is relatively rare, but certainly here in Bangkok I see younger couples hand in hand, arm in arm, boy's arm over the girl's shoulder all the time in the street, on the BTS etc. If I'm out and about most of the day I'll see it at least a dozen times. If I were walking around town back home I'd see it many thousands of times.

Another farang cultural trait, at least in my background is to not give a stuff about what other people think, certainly not people you don't know, random people looking at you in the street. Here in Thailand, most respectable people do seem to care about what others think, even just walking around in a place where no one knows who you are. Strange but true.

Relative newcomers to Thailand don't know about Thai culture, and many wouldn't care even if they did, they will still follow their own cultural habits as that's all they know. Girls that are used to farang ways will often accommodate that desire, because for a farang if a girl refuses to hold his hand in public it means she doesn't like him, isn't proud to be seen with him, it is insulting and a rejection.

Once a farang has been here a while he comes to understand that most Thais are judging him and his girl negatively if they're walking around in public physically demonstrating their affection, and he will also understand that his girl would prefer to not have people thinking bad things, and if he's considerate he will start to be willing to walk around without holding hands. If he remembers - out of habit he may well continue to hold hands until he remembers.

That's what I think you don't understand - the unconscious default for many farang is to hold hands, that's what's normal. Stopping that habit is the strange behaviour for him, and it takes an effort to remember to unlearn that habit.

I hope this helps you to understand a bit more about farang culture.

[StreetCowboy]

How sad that so many contributors here cannot rise above their sad little lives where only bar ladies exist. Does it not ever occur to them that they have to buy fleeting moments of passion because they are so unattractive as persons that no worthwhile ladies will consort with them? They seem to be totally unaware of the multitude of decent Thai ladies with high moral standards that exist and that many joyfully marry and cohabit with farangs who treat them as equal partners in a loving and civilised manner. It seems to me that cynicism rules their every thought - if they ever have any that doesn't make themselves the centre of things and the innocent party in all the bad things that happened in their lives.

Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for - and the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more.

I reckon perhaps its time we stopped making fun of the sad, lonely and unloved. I think we should show them more care and compassion. I suggest you go out, find a fat, balding sexpat in a Singha singlet, and hold his hand

SC

[pattayadingo]

If you look into some of the Thai dating sites you will often see a Thai woman who says she wants some love and romance in her life and to hold hands as we walk together.

What is wrong with holding hands? It is a nice gesture. It is also the natural thing to do. Yet you seem to make it sound dirty and unnatural.

Slobbering over a woman and ramming your tongue down her throat in public, groping her arse and such? That is not the done thing in most countries so I could imagine you complaining about that, not a simple holding of hands.

All the Thai women I have had love to kiss, snuggle up and be loving but NOT outside. That is reserved for indoors or in private.

Maybe you lack that romantic touch?

As to the question of is it only foreigners who hold hands? No it isn't. I have seen many Thai couples being very tender towards each other in restaurants though I'll admit that was out in more provincial areas and not the big cities. They feed each other, touch and hold hands.

[xthAi76s]

I didn't bother reading all the comments and am addressing the OP only, assuming he wasn't taking the piss.

I believe you're not farang correct?

It is perfectly normal in farang culture for couples to hold hands in public, nothing wrong with it at all anywhere.

When I was at boarding school in my early teens any PDA between student couples was punished, but everyone thought that was a stupid rule and in fact it was rarely enforced.

It is true here in Thailand it is relatively rare, but certainly here in Bangkok I see younger couples hand in hand, arm in arm, boy's arm over the girl's shoulder all the time in the street, on the BTS etc. If I'm out and about most of the day I'll see it at least a dozen times. If I were walking around town back home I'd see it many thousands of times.

Another farang cultural trait, at least in my background is to not give a stuff about what other people think, certainly not people you don't know, random people looking at you in the street. Here in Thailand, most respectable people do seem to care about what others think, even just walking around in a place where no one knows who you are. Strange but true.

Relative newcomers to Thailand don't know about Thai culture, and many wouldn't care even if they did, they will still follow their own cultural habits as that's all they know. Girls that are used to farang ways will often accommodate that desire, because for a farang if a girl refuses to hold his hand in public it means she doesn't like him, isn't proud to be seen with him, it is insulting and a rejection.

Once a farang has been here a while he comes to understand that most Thais are judging him and his girl negatively if they're walking around in public physically demonstrating their affection, and he will also understand that his girl would prefer to not have people thinking bad things, and if he's considerate he will start to be willing to walk around without holding hands. If he remembers - out of habit he may well continue to hold hands until he remembers.

That's what I think you don't understand - the unconscious default for many farang is to hold hands, that's what's normal. Stopping that habit is the strange behaviour for him, and it takes an effort to remember to unlearn that habit.

I hope this helps you to understand a bit more about farang culture.

Actually, I am quite the Farang, although I despise the term. And, being a member of the club, I do understand the culture quite well indeed.

I think what you've posted is certainly plausible, yes.

Thanks

[Sakeopete]

Married 10+ years and my Thai wife likes holding hands. TBH I like it too helps me pull her away from expensive shops

Sent from my GT-N7000 using Thaivisa Connect App

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Actually, I am quite the Farang, although I despise the term. And, being a member of the club, I do understand the culture quite well indeed.

I think what you've posted is certainly plausible, yes.

Thanks

OK you might be ethnically 'White-European' if you prefer that, but if you grew up in such a culture, everything I wrote should have been obvious to you.

Or perhaps your question should have been phrased "Why don't farang follow the traditional Thai cultural norm for not physically displaying affection in public?"

[Theyreallrubbish]

Ex GF used to walk about a half step behind with her hand resting lightly on my shoulder.

She was a university student, not a BG, and from the north so light skinned, just in case that is relevant for the OP's research.

I've noticed now a lot of the young Thais doing the same in places like shopping malls.

[Soutpeel]

Slobbering over a woman and ramming your tongue down her throat in public, groping her arse and such?

just come from walking street or nana I assume...

[BookMan]

How sad that so many contributors here cannot rise above their sad little lives where only bar ladies exist. Does it not ever occur to them that they have to buy fleeting moments of passion because they are so unattractive as persons that no worthwhile ladies will consort with them? They seem to be totally unaware of the multitude of decent Thai ladies with high moral standards that exist and that many joyfully marry and cohabit with farangs who treat them as equal partners in a loving and civilised manner. It seems to me that cynicism rules their every thought - if they ever have any that doesn't make themselves the centre of things and the innocent party in all the bad things that happened in their lives.

Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for - and the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more.

I reckon perhaps its time we stopped making fun of the sad, lonely and unloved. I think we should show them more care and compassion. I suggest you go out, find a fat, balding sexpat in a Singha singlet, and hold his hand

SC

[trainman34014]

Thai girls like to hold your hand because it's one step closer to your wallet !

As a side; my Thai Father in law is 89 years old and if he sees any couple holding hands, or showing any kind of physical contact, he shows disgust and says 'They should only do that kind of thing indoors' .

[somtampet]

Yes usually new couples do hold hands; In my country anyway

it's called RO-MANCE

does not last unfortunately

I never see real, respectable Thai women holding hands with their Thai boyfriends/husbands... Only Falangs. Are Falangs the only ones making new relationships?

Of course it's a western thing

farangs start new relationship, feel in love, hold hands, I don't see what's weird about that

Totaly agree with u,and even though i dont think that a bg is a bad person,i would like to meet this guy that says my gf is a bg.Been with my partner for 8 years now and we hold hands when we go out,whats wrong with that

[StreetCowboy]

Yes usually new couples do hold hands; In my country anyway

it's called RO-MANCE

does not last unfortunately

I never see real, respectable Thai women holding hands with their Thai boyfriends/husbands... Only Falangs. Are Falangs the only ones making new relationships?

Of course it's a western thing

farangs start new relationship, feel in love, hold hands, I don't see what's weird about that

Totaly agree with u,and even though i dont think that a bg is a bad person,i would like to meet this guy that says my gf is a bg.Been with my partner for 8 years now and we hold hands when we go out,whats wrong with that

One has to draw the line somewhere; as others have said, french kissing, heavy petting and full sex should be restricted to the privacy of one's own home, and, if what I see is to be believed, Continental European buses.

Personally, I would recommend that having drawn the line, both parties should stand at least three feet away of it, to show a clear, healthy and respectable restraint lest they arouse disapproval, or Heaven forbid,

in those around them

SC

[CiaranO]

Thais do not exhibit outward affection in public. it is a cultural thing, that is changing with the younger generation.

Married 3 years and counting, and we still hold hands, not Always but many times. we enjoy it, it is good for the heart and good for the soul.

PS: why the BG comment? you mean it is right for Farang with non "BG" looking wife to hold hands but not for the 'BG" looking wife?

I see. The BG comment was just an observation/interpretation. Nobody can deny that many of Falang male Thai female relationships fit this description (at least in Bangkok). I'm not one to judge though, so it's fine.

I do think the aneliane's last comment is certainly a possibility. Never thought of that one. I guess my bias against BG-looking women is showing.

I think it's you just assuming that if a guy is walking down the street with a younger Thai girl that she is a bar girl. Office girls go out with farang guys too, but maybe they just don't hang out in the bars that you go to.

I don't go to bars at all. I hate bars. Bad music, soccer (which I don't much like), and girls coming by every 3 minutes to bother talk to me in broken English.

Thailand must be such a horrible place for you......how do you survive.....i guess everyone you know speaks fluent English yes...?

So getting back to your original post....my gf (who is not a BG btw) and myself often hold hands when we are out. Of course it may be an age thing too as we are both in our early 30's. I see plenty of younger Thai's holding hands........and I dont see the problem.............

I have read all your post on this topic..............God it must suck to be you.....you hate affection, you hate bars, you hate soccer, you hate girls talking to you.................

[damo]

My wife likes to hold her mums hand - sort of arm in arm whilst out together.

The first time I saw them at it I was shocked

[pattayadingo]

Slobbering over a woman and ramming your tongue down her throat in public, groping her arse and such?

just come from walking street or nana I assume...

Soi 8 Beach road One man had his woman's leg almost round his neck. Thought he was going to perform oral sex on the bar stool.

I do see a lot of that stuff about.

But I still think it is cool to hold the hand of one you love. I even held the hand of my (now ex) wife after 20 odd years of being together. Ahhh, Romance. I love it.

[StreetCowboy]

...Thailand must be such a horrible place for you......how do you survive.....i guess everyone you know speaks fluent English yes...?

So getting back to your original post....my gf (who is not a BG btw) and myself often hold hands when we are out. Of course it may be an age thing too as we are both in our early 30's. I see plenty of younger Thai's holding hands........and I dont see the problem.............

I have read all your post on this topic..............God it must suck to be you.....you hate affection, you hate bars, you hate soccer, you hate girls talking to you.................

Your empathy is touching, so it is.

SC

[Rhys]

YES, we do have alot of time our hands..5555

[tigerfish]

i would encourage the OP to either grow a pair or stop mixing in circles with the wrong kind of people that can cloud his judgement.

myself and the good lady Mrs TF have been together for going on 12 years and no not a BG.

we hold hands often, put our arms round each other whilst walking, muck about, kiss, whatever we feel like doing. what the average Joe thinks is up too them, who cares ! we know how we feel about each other and that's all that matters, end of.

yes, sometimes in Thailand the surrounding environment dictates as to how you maybe able to behave. for example crowded walkways or within the confines of a religious worship place, self explanatory really.

i did raise the same sort of question, but in a different way on my second trip to the LOS and was just told that its just no so much of a done thing out here.

that's not to mean though that it doesn't exist !

Edited June 3, 2012 by tigerfish

[473geo]

In my limited experience its usually the Thai GF instigating this. She is saying to the other BG's "Hands off! This one is mine".......

Yep that's pretty much it but judging by the speed with which I've seen men in their 50s barge through a crowd to get back to the bird they've clearly spent more than a few baht on as soon as they see a younger, slimmer, better-looking guy having a closer look at her, there's a definitely a bit of "Hands off, she's mine" going on with the guys too.

The guys instigate it just as much as the girls. I live close to Soi Cowboy and can't help but chuckle when I see a guy, hand-in-hand with freshly-barfined roadkill, bowling down the street with his chest puffed out and a proud grin on his face . . .

. . . right before she swerves him into that rip-off Thai restaurant opposite the 7-11 on soi 23 from which she'll earn a kick-back if he spends decent money.

Its my belief that the hand holding is initated by the farang, after all they have just made a deposit for services and they are ensuring the lady concerned doesnt run off with a better paying/better looking punter, thus loosing their deposits...

To me it is all very sad and somewhat pathetic seeing a geriatric farang holding hands in public with his Thai "child" bride or GF

Your belief!!!!.............try reading my post and others here......your belief appears to fit your agenda