Farang V Farang Why are we ignoring each other?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Say hello to everyone, or say hello to no-one, but don't say hello because of their race.

If you only want contact with people because they are white, that makes you a racist.

[richard_smith237]

This topic pops up periodically on ThaiVisa.com... it always a weird topic.

It appears as though some walk around expecting everyone to be talkative, happy go lucky and comfortable to enter a conversation with a complete strangers and when they don't, they take some level of offence, albeit minor offence.

Conversely it also appears as though there are some who walk around and refuse to accept the existence of others in their own version of tropical paradise, if they don't acknowledge the other 'gay in the village' (Little Britain) he doesn't exist, and the individual is ever more 'outstanding'... or something along that thought process.

In reality though we are simply not programmed to acknowledge strangers, why should we? Indifference is simpler and easier....

To walk around a city like Bangkok and expect others to acknowledge someones existence, even if its just with a hello must be a little whacky...

But to ignore someone who says hello to you is also a little rude and whacky...

I don't deliberately ignore other westerners, I am simply indifferent to a westerners presence or absence much in the same manner I am completely indifferent to anyone around me. That is to say I'll politely hold doors open, move out of someones way etc... I'll recognise someones presence, but its of no importance whatsoever and hardly even registers what nationality the person walking towards me is... And.. why should it?

Of course - if someone says hello its naturally polite to respond with a "Hello", "Hi" or simply a 'Nod' back at them... there is nothing wrong with that, and if people simply ignore someone else who is in the "Happy at whole the world zone" then they might simply be in the "Angry at the whole world zone" or... they are simply ignorant, rude, deep in thought or so surprised that someone spoke to them they aren't sure it actually happened !

Of course, no one wants to be the guy in a bar that a 'crazy' starts talking to... but.. if you're in a bar there is going to be the odd crazy person, especially in a tourist area in Thailand.

A valid Topic along similar lines might also be... "Why is it that some Westerners expect something other than indifference from other Westerners ?"

Edited August 27, 2013 by richard_smith237

[4evermaat]

I agree with the comments suggesting amount of farangs in the area have a lot to do with it. I tend to reach out more in Chumphon Town than if i were on the sky train or siam paragon.

"...the 2nd best time to plant a tree is today." Sent from ThaiVisa app (Galaxy Note 2).

[cooked]

Say hello to everyone, or say hello to no-one, but don't say hello because of their race.

If you only want contact with people because they are white, that makes you a racist.

oh boy, I get a lot more smiles from Thais I look into the eyes of per head than I do from 'Farangs' who try to avoid my not unfriendly gaze. I have been a racist for 40 years, having lived in a foreign country where I was an immigrant, was subjected to discrimination and was employing people from all sorts of places, thanks very much. I eventually stopped employing people from certain regions of some countries. Probably wasting my time answering your post.

[Bangkokhatter]

If I was in some small town and hadn't seen a gringo for weeks, then yes i might be happy or enthusiastic to see one, strike up a conversation if they seemed friendly.. talk about our shared experience of being out by ourselves with no-one sharing our culture.

But there are almost 100,000 of us in Bangkok, i see dozens every day so its nothing special to me. We don't have that shared experience, Bangkok is extremely foreigner-friendly and there is never that feeling of isolation or being alien.

So in that case its not much different from being in a city back home. I wouldn't nod at strangers back home in the UK, why would i do it here.

exactly the attitude he is asking us about must be a uk thing to be a rude and arrogant .

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Am from the U.K also and far from rude, unlike your reply. Razorr has a point about being in Bangkok. Was in Mega Bang-Na shopping mall last week, if i nodded or said hello to every foreigner there, I would probably be locked up for causing a nuisance.

I do however always greet any foreigners I see around my apartment block, sometimes it's a joy to see the looks of annoyance on some of their faces.

[Sheryl]

In Bangkok and other big cities, it is not customary to acknowledge strangers. It is not rudeness, it is a normal part of the accomodation to big city life.

Farangs who come from large cities are used to this and would find it odd to do otherwise but for people from smaller towns it can take some getting used to.

[slipperylobster]

Been here almost 4 years and only once casually met a farang I actually liked. Too many weirdos, (semi-)alcoholics, wife-beaters and downright slovenly presented farangs. I also avoid similarly poorly presented Thais, Chinese, Russians, etc. I am very friendly to people in all countries, including my own, if the person is presentable and appears equally amenable.

semi-alcoholics??? How does that work? Agree with everything else...

[razorramone]

If I was in some small town and hadn't seen a gringo for weeks, then yes i might be happy or enthusiastic to see one, strike up a conversation if they seemed friendly.. talk about our shared experience of being out by ourselves with no-one sharing our culture.

But there are almost 100,000 of us in Bangkok, i see dozens every day so its nothing special to me. We don't have that shared experience, Bangkok is extremely foreigner-friendly and there is never that feeling of isolation or being alien.

So in that case its not much different from being in a city back home. I wouldn't nod at strangers back home in the UK, why would i do it here.

exactly the attitude he is asking us about must be a uk thing to be a rude and arrogant .

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I suggest you never go to London if you are that desperate to make a new fwend on the street.

why are you comparing london with thailand ?? Do you even live in bkk??? get your head out your ass this is thailand your allowed to be happy here and talk to everyone.

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I have lived in both London and Bangkok, and they have plenty of similarities. Both are big international cities with lots of expats and different cultures.

I didn't know that to be happy I had to stop and chat every time I see a foreigner. I'd love to see you go to Siam Square and actually practice what you're talking about, how long it would take before someone told you to piss off. Do you not have a job, or things of your own to be doing?

What makes you so special that if I see you I should talk to you, other than the fact neither of us have yellow skin?

I can understand it if you're living out in the sticks and haven't had a chance to speak to a westerner in months. But in Bangkok? We're not special.

[jpinx]

Been here almost 4 years and only once casually met a farang I actually liked. Too many weirdos, (semi-)alcoholics, wife-beaters and downright slovenly presented farangs. I also avoid similarly poorly presented Thais, Chinese, Russians, etc. I am very friendly to people in all countries, including my own, if the person is presentable and appears equally amenable.

semi-alcoholics??? How does that work? Agree with everything else...

Open bottle, apply to mouth, tip head back, repeat till bottle empty or you fall off stool

[rgs2001uk]

Been here almost 4 years and only once casually met a farang I actually liked. Too many weirdos, (semi-)alcoholics, wife-beaters and downright slovenly presented farangs. I also avoid similarly poorly presented Thais, Chinese, Russians, etc. I am very friendly to people in all countries, including my own, if the person is presentable and appears equally amenable.

semi-alcoholics??? How does that work? Agree with everything else...

It works this way, you pass them at 10 in the morning, they are just starting on their third large Chang, so still sober, pass them at 11 in the morning they are now on their sixth, and only half pissed, walk by them about 1 in the afternoon and the mrs is dragging them out of the Big C food court to get them home to sleep it off, before repeating the same process at six in the evening.

Repeat and rinse, deja vu.

[robblok]

I still nod and smile but if one has enough negative encounters it becomes more of a chore. As others have said it really depends on where you are, what you are doing and how common other foreigners are in your area.

Bumped into a guy the other day while walking the dogs in the village. Since I am the only one who lives here full-time, that I know of, I figured I should be friendly and say hello. We have nothing in common except for proximity but that is no reason to be rude.

I nod and say hello but I don't go out of my way to meet other foreigners. There is an other guy here in the village (outskirts of bkk) but have seen him only once when i was in a rush. I know where he lives (big I can teach English sing there) but if I don't bump into him so be it.

[cooked]

I remember Nakhon Sawan in 2006, entrance to parking in Big-C, time was 11.00 day/noon, a total wasted farang, grey beard, grey hair, grey (or dirty..) T-Shirt, jeans, and the obligatory cheaps..t plastic flip-flops, on a wreck of a Honda Dream anno 2540, was crossing my way of right.

3 sec. before an accident, I hit all brakes and shouted a jolly and smiling "Good morning"!!

Reaction?

<deleted> off!!

Since then, very careful not to be too friendly, Farang really don´t like it, cause he want to keep the illusion of being the only and the special one in LOS!

I think you hit the nail on the head there.

[prestburypark]

I remember Nakhon Sawan in 2006, entrance to parking in Big-C, time was 11.00 day/noon, a total wasted farang, grey beard, grey hair, grey (or dirty..) T-Shirt, jeans, and the obligatory cheaps..t plastic flip-flops, on a wreck of a Honda Dream anno 2540, was crossing my way of right.

3 sec. before an accident, I hit all brakes and shouted a jolly and smiling "Good morning"!!

Reaction?

<deleted> off!!

Since then, very careful not to be too friendly, Farang really don´t like it, cause he want to keep the illusion of being the only and the special one in LOS!

Sh**t, wondered who that was for ages....

[tingtongfarang]

Its a real change when i go back to my home country or to be exact where my family live, all people who never seen me before or dont know me from addam say hello in someway...women or girls of whatever age will say...you alright me duck...nice day, males over 30 will say as we pass...alright youth ows yer whippet, strange as i have never owned a whippit and wierd that they ask how my non existent dog is,

but anyway its a welcome feeling,

I feel this thing with farangs avoiding eachother in thailand is something special to here, few times like at the post office i have started or held conversation with farangs and at one point they have said...i usually avoid other farangs here but you seem ok.

i have lived in quite a few countries and its very different, for instance in HK westerners really dont avoid eachother i find.

[Psych01]

I have always smiled or nodded to a fellow foreigner here in LOS, very few acknowledge back. Yes I always did it in my home country too, same same but different.

[greg71]

Lets put it this way,do you say hi or nod to everyone you walk past in your home country?Give an honest reply thx .

[longstebe]

Lets put it this way,do you say hi or nod to everyone you walk past in your home country?Give an honest reply thx .

It's not really the same though is it.

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[jpinx]

Lets put it this way,do you say hi or nod to everyone you walk past in your home country?Give an honest reply thx .

For those of us who do not live in cities -- yes

[arminbkk]

I remember Nakhon Sawan in 2006, entrance to parking in Big-C, time was 11.00 day/noon, a total wasted farang, grey beard, grey hair, grey (or dirty..) T-Shirt, jeans, and the obligatory cheaps..t plastic flip-flops, on a wreck of a Honda Dream anno 2540, was crossing my way of right.

3 sec. before an accident, I hit all brakes and shouted a jolly and smiling "Good morning"!!

Reaction?

<deleted> off!!

Since then, very careful not to be too friendly, Farang really don´t like it, cause he want to keep the illusion of being the only and the special one in LOS!

I once went to lunch with a few Thai colleagues and there was a Englishman, already drunk with beer bottle in hand, who immediately started shouting and spouting

profanity at me as soon as he saw me. This went on for some 10 minutes until, from what he said, I told him I was not an American, after which he started to

cool off and apologize.

Ok, that was my worst encounter and thankfully an isolated one.

As some posters have said, it doesn't make sense to acknowledge another foreigner (I guess we're all talking about western white foreigners) while walking

on Sukhumvit. In a remote area with few foreigners on the other hand.......

Maybe the OP means that many foreigners give the expression "ahh please not another one, I can't be bothered", instead of a friendly or even indifferent expression.

Well, I get the first one mostly from Thais also, so I guess the foreigners have just adapted to the prevailing Thai attitude.

[glb]

In my trips to Thailand I've spoken to mainly Thai. Generally, when travelling I see four types of farang: couples (when going to islands, resorts); families; random travellers; and just guys (single or in groups). I've spoken to travellers before and they seem pleasant enough, and I don't mind talking to the first two groups either should it ever happen. I won't speak to the latter though: in my experience they behave awfully, swear often and generally do a disservice to all farangs by living up to the stereotypical farang that travels to Thailand.

I agree with other posters: I don't generally speak to strangers unless their is an immediate commonality that arises.

[LotusBoy]

When I first moved here and was very naive, I tried the Hello thing to my neighbour, only to be shot down in flames with "<deleted>*k You!!" so I never done it again.

But I agree with many on here, would not do it back home, so why here. I just Hello here to you crazies

[overherebc]

Remember the scene from The Virgin Soldiers where he sits down in the bar and offers to buy a beer for the guy already there.

The reaction being, are you queer ?

The character shown answering I reckon is typical of many ex-pats in Thailand

[NoshowJones]

the lack of comment on this post says it all about most farang living here . i admit that when shopping i dont always aknowledge other farang which is how it is in my home country unless i actually know the person . so i am acting normaly which i imagine every one else is .

Yes, but if you live in a small town or village up country, and you see a Farang you do not know, it would be nice to acknowledge him, then see what reaction you get, if it is positve, I would start up a conversation with him.

[NoshowJones]

Been here almost 4 years and only once casually met a farang I actually liked. Too many weirdos, (semi-)alcoholics, wife-beaters and downright slovenly presented farangs. I also avoid similarly poorly presented Thais, Chinese, Russians, etc. I am very friendly to people in all countries, including my own, if the person is presentable and appears equally amenable.

I suppose if he was the typical monger grossly overweight and covered in Tattoos, I would walk in the other direction.

[Regyai]

Millions of people you'd routinely ignore back in the West

So

If they ride a 747 they become long lost friends

.

[eyecatcher]

I am not ignorant,but I am shy person and not good with small talk. I usually offer a half smile hoping they will react first, but at 50kph on the bike conversation is awkward.

For me a bottle of beer seems to help , but usually the conversation becomes same same and boring and as others point out, the pleasure of your own or gf company is much better every time.

Sent from my GT-I8160

[NoshowJones]

They seem to get upset with me when I say you have a very lovely daughter.

You sound like an old guy with hormones still doing stuff...................

yes, Transam, and maybe the type I have already mentioned.

[NoshowJones]

If I was in some small town and hadn't seen a gringo for weeks, then yes i might be happy or enthusiastic to see one, strike up a conversation if they seemed friendly.. talk about our shared experience of being out by ourselves with no-one sharing our culture.

But there are almost 100,000 of us in Bangkok, i see dozens every day so its nothing special to me. We don't have that shared experience, Bangkok is extremely foreigner-friendly and there is never that feeling of isolation or being alien.

So in that case its not much different from being in a city back home. I wouldn't nod at strangers back home in the UK, why would i do it here.

exactly the attitude he is asking us about must be a uk thing to be a rude and arrogant .

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You mean Yorkshire?

[NoshowJones]

If I was in some small town and hadn't seen a gringo for weeks, then yes i might be happy or enthusiastic to see one, strike up a conversation if they seemed friendly.. talk about our shared experience of being out by ourselves with no-one sharing our culture.

But there are almost 100,000 of us in Bangkok, i see dozens every day so its nothing special to me. We don't have that shared experience, Bangkok is extremely foreigner-friendly and there is never that feeling of isolation or being alien.

So in that case its not much different from being in a city back home. I wouldn't nod at strangers back home in the UK, why would i do it here.

exactly the attitude he is asking us about must be a uk thing to be a rude and arrogant .

Sent from my LT26i using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

I suggest you never go to London if you are that desperate to make a new fwend on the street.

Wrong, it is the people who were born in London and surrounding areas I find the most sociable. Apart from the Scots, OK Blether?

[uty6543]

When I am in Bangkok I would not speak to every farang I passed that would be silly. When I am up country I say hello to the few other farangs I meet. I have made friends with various nationals on my travels here but I have also encountered some I never want to meet again. I have good and bad experiences with saying hello to strangers but if I never spoke to anyone I wouldn’t have any friends here.