Not fitting in yet, what do you think?

[Bluetongue]

Three rather odd and admittedly small things happened to me in the last 24 hours. Firstly I wasparking the car at the market having already disgorged the wife and co, when I gave the

slightest of nudge to another car. I stopped got out and looked and it was a scuff mark on her fender. The lady was standing there but did not even look at the damage, it was a 10-15 year

old pickup and a quick glance revealed it had a couple of other abrasions. However I was

prepared to give her something as it was my fault even though I realised she would not spend

anything on repair. But she just said deun na noy ie move the car forward a bit, then turned her back on me and made a phone call which I realised was not about the car. So I got back in

my car parked it and whilst she still ignored me went off to do my business, came back she was still there ignoring me. Then the wife came back and put her shopping in the car but wanted a

drink so to get one she walked right past the woman who stopped her on her way back and gave

her a real mouthful. The wife didnt offer any money though. When my wife got back to the car

she was peeved of course but we just left. I guess the lady thought I was rude for not

apologising profusely and not offering money but she did turn her back to me so I just put it

down to experience.

Then I was at my nephews wedding, I had been inside the house to tie the white string on theirhands and my wife remained inside. I sat down at one of our family tables with some other

nephews and was offered a Thai whisky and soda and was just sipping that. Sitting next to me

but a bit apart was a fellow I had never seen before but he was clearly friendly with my

nephews. Just then the village policeman arrived, even though this is two villages away, I

thought hed just come to tie string on as well, which he had. But first he came swiftly over

to our table and took an almighty swing at this blokes head which did not connect cleanly. He steadied himself and then gave him another one which I had a very close up view of, and was a

very roundhouse open slap which connected clean as you like on the side of his face and head. He then stormed off without saying anything. It was then I realised that at least half of the

table had evacuated prior to this. Anyway the bloke stood up shook his head and staggered off. Afterwards the policeman was talking to some people whom I suspect must have said to him, oh

you gave the farang a bit of a shock (no more than anyone else I think) so he came over and

hugged me and grabbed my hand before making his way off. After my nephew told me that the

police would not let his friend drink whisky as he becomes dangerous, this is the chosen

enforcement method. Oh well.

Later back at home, still drinking, a fellow whom I know, but not well nor what he does, he is however fairly high up the village food chain was talking about motorcycles with me. When I

mentioned that I owned several Ducatis in Australia he was very interested. So I went inside

and got a scale model of one, this is not a diecast one and I cant remember how much it cost, not much, and as I showed it to him it became immediately obvious that he thought I was giving it to him. So I thought if I made a fuss he might become embarrassed so I let it go, I mean it was going to get broken sooner or later the way the wife cleans house and I didnt really mind but I just thought how could he think this.

All in all makes me think I havent fitted in very well at all.

[casualbiker]

Dunno. Think you did quite well really!

[benalibina]

No, these 3 events made you probably think that you do not want to fit in. Like above poster stated...you did well.

[kannot]

I have no plans to fit in with anyone or thing least of all Thailand its people or culture.............if Im honest.

[jacksam]

There seems to be two groups of farang here. One group like the OP have married moved into the country areas and hence have to try and fit in with Thai way and mixing with her family and all and sundry.

Of course there are shades in between, but I'm at other end of sprectum.

Basically yes I have the live with gf (for couple of years)

But basically its me and her and any farang friends of mine. Yes on her birthday or whatever we have drinks with couple of her friends , but that's it. Its my way or the highway. I couldn't stand living in some out post area fitting in with all that it entails. Good luck

[Hedghog]

I have no plans to fit in with anyone or thing least of all Thailand its people or culture.............if Im honest.

Nothing to worry about then.

[JingerBen]

I have no plans to fit in with anyone or thing least of all Thailand its people or culture.............if Im honest.

If your posts are anything to go by, you have an almost pathological dislike of Thailand, its people and culture.

Are you being held here against your will?

[ExPratt]

Just fit in with your family here mate , <deleted> to everyone else

[samran]

There seems to be two groups of farang here. One group like the OP have married moved into the country areas and hence have to try and fit in with Thai way and mixing with her family and all and sundry.

Of course there are shades in between, but I'm at other end of sprectum.

Basically yes I have the live with gf (for couple of years)

But basically its me and her and any farang friends of mine. Yes on her birthday or whatever we have drinks with couple of her friends , but that's it. Its my way or the highway. I couldn't stand living in some out post area fitting in with all that it entails. Good luck

Plenty of urban Thais would say the same thing.

Don't marry khon baan nok....

Better the op than me.

[tim armstrong]

I think you are doing ok. Just practise saying yes - a lot and you will soon blend in

[garrya]

You will never be able to impress the locals enough. We are the 'farangs' and they are the 'kon Thais'. Can't change that I suppose.

[Crazy chef 1]

welcome!

[Thongkorn]

You will never fit in or be excepted, you are a falang a Guest in Thailand,

[georgemandm]

Why do all you people out there in this forum use the word farangs It is such a bad word I am from the western farang is a racial word and thailand should start to teach the kids in the school to stop using that word you see I can't stand the word <deleted> and back home in my country Australia we have stop it some 20 years ago so I think thailand should take a stop and stop that word when I read the people here using it all the time I say get a life and think of how bad it is .

[Eddy B]

I feel lucky that my Thai family has accepted me. Nothing to do about money but just equal respect. They know I can be generous but only to a point, I will not have the piss taken out of me. My wife's friends are all good as well, they often like to have a chat. The most problems I have here in Thailand are not with Thai's but usually other foreigners who are mental. Nice one minute and crazy as hell the next. I prefer to rather stay with close Thai friends than come across another mental foreigner who has a screw loose.

[Aussieroaming]

Why do all you people out there in this forum use the word farangs It is such a bad word I am from the western farang is a racial word and thailand should start to teach the kids in the school to stop using that word you see I can't stand the word <deleted> and back home in my country Australia we have stop it some 20 years ago so I think thailand should take a stop and stop that word when I read the people here using it all the time I say get a life and think of how bad it is .

Really.."we have stop it" use the word farang. Why did you even post this nonsense.

[mgjackson69]

The OP does not say how long he has been in Thailand....but it does take some time (forever for some things) to really catch on to the nuances of the society, especially if one is in the rural areas. I have been here 10+ years and some days it seems like I stepped off the airplane yesterday.

As described, I think the OP handled things pretty well. One of the understandings my wife and I have is that when things like this happen, I need her to take a bit of time to explain to me &lt;deleted&gt; just happened/is happening.

Learning at least some basics of the Thai language will certainly help.

Re: "farang"...it is just a word, let it go...

[georgemandm]

Why do all you people out there in this forum use the word farangs It is such a bad word I am from the western farang is a racial word and thailand should start to teach the kids in the school to stop using that word you see I can't stand the word <deleted> and back home in my country Australia we have stop it some 20 years ago so I think thailand should take a stop and stop that word when I read the people here using it all the time I say get a life and think of how bad it is .

Really.."we have stop it" use the word farang. Why did you even post this nonsense.

Nonsense is it will yes I don't use the word and you would be the one that is nonsense

[georgemandm]

The OP does not say how long he has been in Thailand....but it does take some time (forever for some things) to really catch on to the nuances of the society, especially if one is in the rural areas. I have been here 10+ years and some days it seems like I stepped off the airplane yesterday.

As described, I think the OP handled things pretty well. One of the understandings my wife and I have is that when things like this happen, I need her to take a bit of time to explain to me <deleted> just happened/is happening.

Learning at least some basics of the Thai language will certainly help.

Re: "farang"...it is just a word, let it go...

So you have been here 10 years good how Good is your thai I have been here of and on for 6 years and I try to lean thai and my thai is very good of what Thai people tell me and I am just saying it is not a good word and it is about time thailand get with the real world I have told my thai I not like it and she understands were I am coming from so why can't peopl out there think the same as her on this forum but not saying all of you are but some of you would like the word &lt;deleted&gt; .

[sdanielmcev]

Why are you living in a plpl you don't want to fit in? You like being the Ugly Australian? Learn the language and quit being selfish.

[Jip99]

The OP does not say how long he has been in Thailand....but it does take some time (forever for some things) to really catch on to the nuances of the society, especially if one is in the rural areas. I have been here 10+ years and some days it seems like I stepped off the airplane yesterday.

As described, I think the OP handled things pretty well. One of the understandings my wife and I have is that when things like this happen, I need her to take a bit of time to explain to me <deleted> just happened/is happening.

Learning at least some basics of the Thai language will certainly help.

Re: "farang"...it is just a word, let it go...

So you have been here 10 years good how Good is your thai I have been here of and on for 6 years and I try to lean thai and my thai is very good of what Thai people tell me and I am just saying it is not a good word and it is about time thailand get with the real world I have told my thai I not like it and she understands were I am coming from so why can't peopl out there think the same as her on this forum but not saying all of you are but some of you would like the word <deleted> .

Grow up - you are making yourself look a prat!

Farang is a common word used generically to reference a western foreigner. You quickly get used to being referred to as a Farang when someone is speaking to your wife about "Your Farang".

It is only offensive when used offensively - that would usually be in Pattaya and maybe Bangkok.

[Jip99]

No, these 3 events made you probably think that you do not want to fit in. Like above poster stated...you did well.

I agree 100%.

Do not try too hard to fit in - be as natural as you can be and follow your well-honed instincts about matters.

We are the Farang and are only visitors/guests/tolerated - absolutely no need to try and be Thai.

[chickenslegs]

Why do all you people out there in this forum use the word farangs It is such a bad word I am from the western farang is a racial word and thailand should start to teach the kids in the school to stop using that word you see I can't stand the word <deleted> and back home in my country Australia we have stop it some 20 years ago so I think thailand should take a stop and stop that word when I read the people here using it all the time I say get a life and think of how bad it is .

You should start a topicabout use of the "F" word. I'm pretty sure it's never been discussed here before.

[Suradit69]

I have no plans to fit in with anyone or thing least of all Thailand its people or culture.............if Im honest.

Trying to "Go native" is not the same thing as making some effort to "fit in." The first is an unrealistic fantasy, while the latter requires some flexibility, which is often difficult for the elderly or others with impaired social adaptability skills.

Your intentions to continue living in a farang bubble oblivious to your surroundings are, unfortunately, rather common ( in at least two senses of the word) here at Thai Visa.

[georgemandm]

The OP does not say how long he has been in Thailand....but it does take some time (forever for some things) to really catch on to the nuances of the society, especially if one is in the rural areas. I have been here 10+ years and some days it seems like I stepped off the airplane yesterday.

As described, I think the OP handled things pretty well. One of the understandings my wife and I have is that when things like this happen, I need her to take a bit of time to explain to me <deleted> just happened/is happening.

Learning at least some basics of the Thai language will certainly help.

Re: "farang"...it is just a word, let it go...

So you have been here 10 years good how Good is your thai I have been here of and on for 6 years and I try to lean thai and my thai is very good of what Thai people tell me and I am just saying it is not a good word and it is about time thailand get with the real world I have told my thai I not like it and she understands were I am coming from so why can't peopl out there think the same as her on this forum but not saying all of you are but some of you would like the word <deleted> .

Grow up - you are making yourself look a prat!

Farang is a common word used generically to reference a western foreigner. You quickly get used to being referred to as a Farang when someone is speaking to your wife about "Your Farang".

It is only offensive when used offensively - that would usually be in Pattaya and maybe Bangkok.

Me grow I am grown up you get a life and lean a bit about it on the way it is not a thai word ok it was mad up so grow and lean a bit about thailand before you open your mouth

[Suradit69]

Why do all you people out there in this forum use the word farangs It is such a bad word I am from the western farang is a racial word and thailand should start to teach the kids in the school to stop using that word you see I can't stand the word <deleted> and back home in my country Australia we have stop it some 20 years ago so I think thailand should take a stop and stop that word when I read the people here using it all the time I say get a life and think of how bad it is .

Are you serious?

I am from the western

Ah. That would explain it. Your use of English other posts seems remarkably coherent compared to this one.

[kurnell]

I behave like I have been here for a few days and that suits me and the Thais just fine.

[AYJAYDEE]

I have no plans to fit in with anyone or thing least of all Thailand its people or culture.............if Im honest.

must be kinda unpleasant living in a society you want nothing to do with!

[AYJAYDEE]

The OP does not say how long he has been in Thailand....but it does take some time (forever for some things) to really catch on to the nuances of the society, especially if one is in the rural areas. I have been here 10+ years and some days it seems like I stepped off the airplane yesterday.

As described, I think the OP handled things pretty well. One of the understandings my wife and I have is that when things like this happen, I need her to take a bit of time to explain to me <deleted> just happened/is happening.

Learning at least some basics of the Thai language will certainly help.

Re: "farang"...it is just a word, let it go...

So you have been here 10 years good how Good is your thai I have been here of and on for 6 years and I try to lean thai and my thai is very good of what Thai people tell me and I am just saying it is not a good word and it is about time thailand get with the real world I have told my thai I not like it and she understands were I am coming from so why can't peopl out there think the same as her on this forum but not saying all of you are but some of you would like the word <deleted> .

Is english your first language??

[malt25]

Why do all you people out there in this forum use the word farangs It is such a bad word I am from the western farang is a racial word and thailand should start to teach the kids in the school to stop using that word you see I can't stand the word <deleted> and back home in my country Australia we have stop it some 20 years ago so I think thailand should take a stop and stop that word when I read the people here using it all the time I say get a life and think of how bad it is .

After reading your rant a few times, me thinks you weren't educated, oops, schooled in Australia.

https://www.princeton.edu/~achaney/tmve/wiki100k/docs/Farang.html

Farang (Thai: ฝรั่ง [faràŋ]) is the generic Thai word for a Westerner. A general term for foreigners is "khon tahng prateht (Thai: คนต่างประเทศ)" ('people from other countries'). There is no negative implication in the word itself.

I'm not sure what part of Australia you come from, but in some 58 years, living or working in most Aussie states, I never heard the word, Farang, until I came to LOS. I'm the only Farang in my village & the word doesn't offend me in the least.

Farang, Farang, Farang..... ah, now I feel better.