I just want to know what I am getting into

[Stevemercer]

If the baby has your name on the birth certificate, does this entitle it to citizenship in your home country?

 

If yes, this might open up opportunities for the child later in life. If no, it is hard to see the advantages (for you) in having your name on the birth certificate.

 

As others have suggested, get DNA confirmation before allowing your name on the birth certificate.

[fordguy61mi]

2 hours ago, Minnehaha said:

What is the rush with paperwork? 

1. Thailand recognizes the mother first and only. Birth cert is issued. 

2. Claiming paternity is done through your embassy - they will request docs for their purposes. If you are married the child is yours by default soon as you claim it. Or she makes claim in your home country. So this issue is solved. No need to send anything. 

3. If you question paternity and want dna test .... good luck. If u r not dad what will you do as you are still married? Now you get to make a choice.

4. If you dont love her and want children why are you married?  Get someone else to clean the house, as you say. 

 

How the hell do people wind up with such nutcases in marriage? They are as demented as the spouse in my opinion

 

 

Right. You know there were many red flags before they said “I do”.

[lessonlearned]

3 minutes ago, Stevemercer said:

If the baby has your name on the birth certificate, does this entitle it to citizenship in your home country?

 

If yes, this might open up opportunities for the child later in life. If no, it is hard to see the advantages (for you) in having your name on the birth certificate.

 

As others have suggested, get DNA confirmation before allowing your name on the birth certificate.

Let's say that I give her now before the baby will be born, later to find out after DNA test that it is not mine, will I be able to take my name off it?

 

And in a other case, if I don't give the document and no father's name, layer in the future found out it is my child, can it later be registered for baby?

[nobodysfriend]

 

What would a Thai man do in your situation ?

Edited April 21, 2018 by nobodysfriend

[xylophone]

17 minutes ago, Stevemercer said:

If the baby has your name on the birth certificate, does this entitle it to citizenship in your home country?

Or the possibility that at some time, because you are the registered father, she can go you for child support or the benefits that your particular country offers – – citizenship by birth, for example?

 

Too many fishhooks in this for my liking and as someone else has said there is no hurry for you to get the paperwork signed, so wait until the baby is born and you accompany her and the baby to a suitable clinic for DNA tests.

 

Once that is cleared up you have a few options and it's up to you which one you take.

 

For the record if I had been lied to that many times, I wouldn't even be going this far!

[Stevemercer]

Yes, you can complete and register the birth certificate (once you are certain you are the father) some time after the birth (for example, you might be out of the country at the time of the birth or not otherwise available for a month or two).

[catman20]

On 4/20/2018 at 4:13 PM, blackcab said:

Why would you want your name on the birth certificate if the child isn't yours?

 

 

Either block her or get a reputable DNA test done.

 

run as fast as you can !

[ancharee]

Escape while you can

[kingstonkid]

Lesson learned

 

I have to agree with everyone.  

 

If you married in Malaysia.  Please correct me if I am wrong, then you can file for divorce there.

 

As to giving her any documentation and being a stand-up guy.  FORGET IT.  Even if she decides that she does not want money from you the family will and you will be fighting most of your life.

 

Chances are that any money you do send to the child or anything you buy the child will in fact go to the family for what they want not for the child.

 

The advise that you have been given is good advise.

 

1. DO NOT GIVE HER ANYTHING

2.  DO NOT ASK FOR THE DNA TEST.  iT DOES NOT HELP YOU AND IT DOES HELP HER.

IF SHE KNOWS WHERE YOU ARE FROM CONTACT YOUR PARENTS IMMEDIATELY AND EXPLAIN THE SITUATION BEFORE SHE CONTACTS THEM TO GIVE THEM THE SONG AND DANCE OF HOW BADLY YOU ARE TREATING HER.

3.  FILE FOR THE DIVORCE SOONER THE BETTER.

4. GET HER OUT OF YOUR LIFE MOVE ON AND ENJOY.

 

[chenierkmer]

A Red Truck driver in Chaing Mai asked for 100 Bhat for a trip, after I had a few choice words for him the next driver charged me 30 Bhat .


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

[chenierkmer]

A Red Truck driver in Chaing Mai asked for 100 Bhat for a trip, after I had a few choice words for him the next driver charged me 30 Bhat .


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

[Autonuaq]

Well what she is asking is correct.

as well that you have a small issue that you have not registered your marriage.

 

Because of trust problems i would send all documents to the hospital attn the doctor responsible.

But to be honest i would be there to see the baby first hand.

 

The documents you can hand over after the birth.

And courier is fast is you not want to see your baby.

 

Then you can go to the police hospital to be sure that it is your child.

 

Needed the baby, mama and papa.

Pay around 15000 thb and in one to two months you know for sure because the test is done by the forensic lab.

 

My advise to you is that I would recommend you to do all by yoyrself and see first hand

[anon537687643]

One big ****** up life


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

[sead]

5 hours ago, lessonlearned said:

I am working towards building my life again although I expect this to be a hell ride since that we have a baby (which yet to be confirmed mine).. 

 

Since her whole family of 20 came to my wedding and I'm pretty sure she tells everyone she's pregnant with me because the stomach was really apparent after the wedding, they will accuse that the baby is mine. 

 

And as for now, I'm just waiting for the baby deliver and I don't count on that she will come... But knowing her, she could would come and save the family face 

 Her family knows about her lying to you...Dont be naiv thinking anything will change if you give her time. The marriage certificate will make you officially father of the baby which adds to the problems she will give you. Better to send her xx money every month if it shows the baby is yours. That way if she denies you to see the child you can stop paying her. If it's your child then that is when she will start milking you for money.......

[AGLV0121]

On 4/20/2018 at 11:36 AM, lessonlearned said:

i feel bad if i abandon her without the cleocument now that we are legally married

 

Don't you have a possibility to state on the document that the marriage is subsequent to DNA testing by yourself and so is child recognition, after test has proven that you are the biological father?

 

Or, better, take a leave to the Philippines (immediately, it's almost too late!), scuba-dive and have a few Margaritas with local girls.

 

Let her mail you a swab of the baby at a some post office, have the DNA test at 23Andme, and come back only after the results if positive, or elsewhere you want if not.

 

Edited April 21, 2018 by AGLV0121

[smotherb]

Gee, this forum-- I just want to know what I am getting into re my marriage situation - BIG advice needed --is about giving advice to the cuckolds when another forum-- Stand up for newbies! Offering advice to guys getting married --advises just mind your own business and let them be cuckolds. No wonder so many are so confused.

[cyberfarang]

4 hours ago, lessonlearned said:

Let's say that I give her now before the baby will be born, later to find out after DNA test that it is not mine, will I be able to take my name off it?

 

And in a other case, if I don't give the document and no father's name, layer in the future found out it is my child, can it later be registered for baby?

I`ve known many case like yours in the past.

 

Guys still in love with their wives although the situations are hopeless.  You`ll still try making excuses and clinging onto this relationship refusing to let go no matter what any one tells you. Those like you simply don`t know when it`s time to abandon ship.

 

Had friends trying to cry on my shoulder regarding their boring, complicated situations and these days I just give an opinion and don`t become involved in other people`s domestic dramas.

 

If you are not a troll, I wish you good luck, whichever way you decide to go.

Edited April 21, 2018 by cyberfarang

[KKr]

On 4/20/2018 at 4:33 PM, lessonlearned said:

Before that, i slept with her for a few weeks and to my good faith the child could be mine. Also i mentioned to her last monday that i would get a DNA tested here and she said okay. 

make sure you choose the laboratory.

A bit of a controversial thought:
what good is it for the child to grow up in an environment of distrust, lies and people driving each other crazy?
consider what is best for your mental health before doing the DNA test.

Edited April 21, 2018 by KKr

[lucifer666]

And your Nick here is LessonLearned ????????No way

[BTB1977]

RUN DUMBASS RUN. 

[Kieran00001]

12 hours ago, smotherb said:

Gee, this forum-- I just want to know what I am getting into re my marriage situation - BIG advice needed --is about giving advice to the cuckolds when another forum-- Stand up for newbies! Offering advice to guys getting married --advises just mind your own business and let them be cuckolds. No wonder so many are so confused.

 

Makes me wonder whether some posters are looking for advice or just to be told what to do.

[JAZZDOG]

Run Forrest, Run !

[Mario666]

Tell her to "Do One!"

[Shiver]

On 4/20/2018 at 4:13 PM, blackcab said:

Why would you want your name on the birth certificate if the child isn't yours?

 

 

Either block her or get a reputable DNA test done.

 

 

I second that. 

DNA that *you* take (hair/swab or whatever the lab suggest) and do by post to another country.  I've seen falsified documents in Thailand that just confirm whatever the mother wants/pays for it to say.  If the baby is yours then testing independently you will know for sure and bypass any lying and have the peace of mind you seek.  If she protests a lot about you doing that then likely you'll already know the answer (and sign nothing!).

Not sure how it works here, but in other countries, a "certificate of birth" is a government legal document to get an ID, and a "certificate of live birth" is the hospital documenting an event - not something that needs to be signed for, as a live birth is self evident.  That's about the point where we all become slaves btw, even though you never signed up for it yourself.  You can delay the legal document until you have proof that you are the father.

 

[tryasimight]

On 4/20/2018 at 4:16 PM, RichardColeman said:

Sounds exactly like my first Thai wife. Consistent lying, fake miscarriages (after telling me she could not work and to send more money),  sold expensive gold i bought and replaced with cheap for show, destroyed a uk business we had by using all our income and using credit cards to pay for stuff, building debt, nearly lost my house.

 

I have an assault conviction on her, because at the end of 2 years all the lies and stuff drove me virtually insane. I needed so many drugs from the docs that it took me years to get off them. I am not a violent person, but had never been in a relationship with such a person.

 

Advice get away now, before you A. get driven insane by her , or B. Do some thing you may regret.

 

It's tough to walk away from someone we may feel we love, but it may also be for the best

 

what drugs can cure a broken heart

 

and an assault conviction?

Edited April 22, 2018 by tryasimight

[bwpage3]

On 4/21/2018 at 3:09 AM, lessonlearned said:

I don't trust her at all now. But I trust the instinct that the baby could be mine although she lied saying that she had mesotropol and Bleeding while she may or may not pregnant.

 

I don't know what's on her mind, if the baby is mine she would have told straight away the first time and played along instead of faking it.

 

I think the question you need to ask yourself, is that if she can financially support herself and the baby if you are out of the picture?

 

Unfortunately in many of these cases, the woman becomes pregnant to use the baby as a pawn for money each month; forever.

 

I would not trust one word she said. If you can get your own independent DNA analysis done, you will have the facts and the evidence you need to calm your mind.

 

If it is not yours you can walk away with a clear conscious.

 

If it is yours, ask yourself if she is going to stay home and raise the kid properly or if she is going to dump the kid off with her mother and father (grandparents) to neglect?

 

If the kid is yours, giving money may ease your guilt, however, if the money does not go for the support and care of the kid, you are just throwing your money away.

 

Keep your wits about you and try to get the facts first before you drive yourself crazy.

 

 

[tryasimight]

Forget the whole thread.......indian trollI MHO.....expect more

[lessonlearned]

10 hours ago, tryasimight said:

Forget the whole thread.......indian trollI MHO.....expect more

I can contest you this isn't a troll as I have gathered all the evidence etc.

[colinneil]

3 minutes ago, lessonlearned said:

I can contest you this isn't a troll as I have gathered all the evidence etc.

Well mate i think you are not a troll, i have been in similar situation with my first Thai wife.

She would lie about anything,  told me we ok i cannot have baby, not use condom.

About a year into the marriage i came back to Thailand after 6 months in the UK working, she announced i pregnant.

<deleted> you are sterilized it is not possible.

N ow if she was 6 months gone it would show, but nothing, ohh i only 2 months pregnant, well itds not mine says i.

A couple of days later she says i lost my baby, ohh yes i believe you says i.

So OP what you are saying sounds about right to me.

My advice to you is, get out now stay out, it will never get better only worse.

[6thST]

On 4/20/2018 at 4:00 PM, BobBKK said:

I know it's easy to say it but get out of it mate and don't give the docs.

Run for the hill and get away as far ans fast as you can!