Breaking up with my Thai girlfriend

[expat1010]

No sure if this right forum.

 

I am wanting to end my three plus year relationship with my Thai girlfriend. Has anyone successfully ended a relationship with a Thai girlfriend without the usual extended drama. I have a fairly nice circle of farang friends with Thai wives and girlfriends and I would rather not been perceived by my friend’s GFs/wives as the bad actor in this breakup, as I would expect my next GF will likely come from an introduction from this group. Thanks

 

 

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[geronimo]

It all depends how you plan to end it. Avoid making her lose face if possible and always remain calm.

 

Best of luck

[GinBoy2]

Well I’m assuming you’ve been around the block a few times and this isn’t the first time you’ve split with wife/GF.

 

It’s always a crap shoot how it go’s, but be prepared for a little more screaming than you’re used to. Watch a Lakorn or two, and you’ll get the gist!

 

But seriously Good Luck, as the song says...Breaking up is hard to do

[simoh1490]

Telling her you're gay may be the easiest and safest route, apart from plastic surgery and entering a witness protection program that is. Good luck with whatever you decide, it's not easy I know.

[BritManToo]

Stop giving her money is usually the easiest way, they soon drift off.

(There must be 50 ways to leave your lover)

 

I have also moved house without telling her, that was completely stress free.

(Just slip out the back)

Edited October 25, 2018 by BritManToo

[simoh1490]

5 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Stop giving her money is usually the easiest way, they soon drift off.

(There must be 50 ways to leave your lover)

 

I have also moved house without telling her, that was completely stress free.

(Just slip out the back)

I think speed is important, don't drag it out otherwise it will go on forever, make it a sharp sudden shock and then done, then go off the radar for a while.

[Hayduke]

 

Learn the words to all of Uncle’s songs and sing them constantly. She’ll be gone in the time it takes to pack.

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

It seems (many) Thai women need a "real" reason. If you would tell her you thought about your relationship and you don't see a happy future that is probably something which she won't accept.

If you tell her you met this wonderful young girl and the sex with that girl is so amazing that you have to marry the new one then it's likely that she will understand that you want to finish with her. Probably she will scream and make demands but she will accept your decision. Just make sure there are no knifes lying around when you tell her.

And no, I am not joking, I try to describe reality in Thailand.

[CharlieH]

Depends on your reasons, 3 yr is along time to invest in a relationship for both of you.

 

You know her best and you probably know how she is going to react.

 

Do it calmly, regretably,, but clearly, and in private.

 

You never know, she may be relieved ! and glad you said it first.????

 

So is the "couples massage weekend" in your other post for the new one or the departing one ?

 

And also why you posted "thinking of relocating in Thailand" ?

 

So, you are expecting a bit like my avatar ? Fallout ! ????

[malt25]

59 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Stop giving her money is usually the easiest way, they soon drift off.

(There must be 50 ways to leave your lover)

 

I have also moved house without telling her, that was completely stress free.

(Just slip out the back)

(Just slip out the back)... Jack  !

[NanLaew]

1 hour ago, expat1010 said:

....as I would expect my next GF will likely come from an introduction from this group.

...if there is a next one.

[ezzra]

A fistfull of baht allways, but allwys quicly mend a Thai broken hearts, dry the fake tears and make them move on to the next target...

[Peterw42]

Will the break up come as a complete shock to the girlfriend ? Or are there problems, no future etc, that both parties are aware of ?

I think "why" you are breaking up will be most of how you break up. 

If you are just trading in for a new model then expect hell on earth, if both parties are aware of problems etc then the process will be easier.

Some practical measures like a place for her/you to live, transport, money (if she is reliant on you) etc. Not much use calling a break-up if still under the same roof.

As others have said, a "real" reason will probably be more acceptable, maybe get caught shagging her sister rather than "we fight a lot"

Edited October 25, 2018 by Peterw42

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, ezzra said:

A fistfull of baht allways, but allwys quicly mend a Thai broken hearts, dry the fake tears and make them move on to the next target... 

Define "fistful".

There is a good chance that your definition is not the same as her definition.

[tingtongtourist]

always good to go to Lao for a few days and break the news by phone.

that should work ok

if she dont have a passport.

[Shoeless Joe]

3 hours ago, CharlieH said:

So is the "couples massage weekend" in your other post for the new one or the departing one ?

Great! Simply great!

 

Joe

[The Deerhunter]

6 minutes ago, Shoeless Joe said:

Great! Simply great!

 

Joe

Maybe that is when he was intending to tell her.   Away from her family.  Witnesses in case of violence.  control over access to sharp objects.   Please don't tell us it was going to be with the new one?  His soon-to-be-ex's best friend.  (from the same circle of associates, as I think he put it!!!!!!!!!)   Oh to be a fly on the wall.

[OneMoreFarang]

I wonder how some of the suggestions to tell her by phone or just walk away would work out.

One day they will see each other again, and then?

[NanLaew]

24 minutes ago, The Deerhunter said:

Maybe that is when he was intending to tell her.   Away from her family.  Witnesses in case of violence.  control over access to sharp objects.   Please don't tell us it was going to be with the new one?  His soon-to-be-ex's best friend.  (from the same circle of associates, as I think he put it!!!!!!!!!)   Oh to be a fly on the wall.

These wellness, massage therapy hokum places all have these round stones. They can heat them up too. Can do a lot of damage with a bag full of hot stones.

 

As for being a fly on this particular wall, hand me my kevlar first.

Edited October 25, 2018 by NanLaew

[NCC1701A]

5 hours ago, expat1010 said:

I have a fairly nice circle of farang friends with Thai wives and girlfriends and I would rather not been perceived by my friend’s GFs/wives as the bad actor in this breakup,

have you broken up with a Thai woman before this relationship? do your friends know about it? if so, you are already a bad man. To Thai women, there is no good GOOD reason to break up with a good woman. you bad!

 

by the way, any breakup in the west would also cause the division of "friends" to a certain degree.

 

5 hours ago, expat1010 said:

I would expect my next GF will likely come from an introduction from this group.

you can't have your cake an eat it too. you are now a threat to the Thai women who are with your male friends. You are dangerous. You will feel the weird vib the first time you get together with your friends after this break up.

 

all the men will be getting pressure not to socialize with you. and the word will be out about you. The first question every woman will ask your friends is "does he have a girlfriend?" and they will hear you ended it. bad man!

 

everyone will know the size of your penis, if you snore, have ED, on and on. 

 

My new girlfriend has never met anyone from my previous relationship's group of friends.  

 

5 hours ago, expat1010 said:

Has anyone successfully ended a relationship with a Thai girlfriend without the usual extended drama

even after i set my old girlfriend up in business knowing i was going to end our two year relationship and made sure she was OK, I am still the bad guy with all her friends.  Just like it would be back in the States because they are only hearing one sided propaganda.

 

Do you live together? If not, obviously this makes it much easier. can you lock your place up and just leave for a while? 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 25, 2018 by NCC1701A

[richard_smith237]

Some serious over thinking in this thread... 

 

Just do it...  be respectful about it, and that’s it. 

[OneMoreFarang]

8 minutes ago, NCC1701A said:

My new girlfriend has never met anyone from my previous relationship's group of friends.  

It's not only friends.

Women like to chat with security guards, motorcycle drivers, ...

There are lots of sources for wonderful gossip.

[NCC1701A]

Just now, OneMoreFarang said:

It's not only friends.

Women like to chat with security guards, motorcycle drivers, ...

There are lots of sources for wonderful gossip.

my old girlfriend four years ago systematically took me around to meet all her friends.

I though she was just showing me off, but it was really "take a good look at this guy, if you see him doing anything bad, report it immediately!"

 

my new girlfriend is much more secure and trusting.

 

and yes the motorbike taxi guys are like deep cover agents reporting everything that goes on.     

[NCC1701A]

5 hours ago, expat1010 said:

end my three plus year relationship with my Thai girlfriend.

so it has been five hours. are you still alive? 

[chippendale]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Define "fistful".

There is a good chance that your definition is not the same as her definition.

Her definition doesn't go elbow deep.

 

Legitimate grounds for divorce.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I wonder how some of the suggestions to tell her by phone or just walk away would work out.

One day they will see each other again, and then?

There's more than one town in Thailand.

[rumak]

6 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Stop giving her money is usually the easiest way, they soon drift off.

(There must be 50 ways to leave your lover)

 

I have also moved house without telling her, that was completely stress free.

(Just slip out the back)

he does mention "circle" of friends.......you know,  like a noose

[expat1010]

Thanks for the advice. Have done this before in Thailand and the drama and theatrics was tiring. Now it is just a question of when and where. Probably should have done this a few years back.


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[sanuk711]

If the ..."It's not you its me"............line doesn't work, then you can always tell her that you went to see a Mordoo and he advised you part for ..............................fill in the blank

[catman20]

I have also moved house without telling her, that was completely stress free.

(Just slip out the back)

 

 

Jack make a new plan Stan 

Edited October 25, 2018 by catman20