Meanwhile, over the southern border...

 

Mother Superior was very strict and could get very angry, so the two nuns who approached her after Vespers were almost shaking with fear.

 

They stood in front of her barely able to speak, but one of them blurted out, “Mother Superior! We’ve discovered a case of gonorrhoea in the convent!”

 

Mother Superior instantly relaxed and smiled a huge smile. “Thank God,” she said, “I was getting so tired of the Chablis!”

 

I saw a fortune teller the other day.

 

She told me I would come into some money.

 

Last night I shagged a girl named Penny.

 

Is that spooky or what??

The oldies are the goodies

 

 

A guy brings his dog into a talent agency, and tells the agent that his dog can talk.

 

He turns and ask the dog “what's over our head? The dog says “roof.” He tells the agent “See? He said roof.

 

He asks the dog “what's my name?” The dog says “raff.” The guy tells the agent “See? He said Ralph.”

 

He asks the dog “who is the greatest baseball player?” The dog says “roof.” The guy tells the agent “See he said Ruth.”

 

The agent throws them out on their ears.

 

Out on the street the dog asks the guy “do you think I should have said DiMaggio?”

And there's the real thing ...

 

 

1 minute ago, Crossy said:

The oldies are the goodies

 

 

A guy brings his dog into a talent agency, and tells the agent that his dog can talk.

 

He turns and ask the dog “what's over our head? The dog says “roof.” He tells the agent “See? He said roof.

 

He asks the dog “what's my name?” The dog says “raff.” The guy tells the agent “See? He said Ralph.”

 

He asks the dog “who is the greatest baseball player?” The dog says “roof.” The guy tells the agent “See he said Ruth.”

 

The agent throws them out on their ears.

 

Out on the street the dog asks the guy “do you think I should have said DiMaggio?”

That was a good one, but when I heard it, it was "Who's the greatest homerun hitter of all time?" and on the way the dog said: "dang, I forgot about Hank Aaron..."

3 minutes ago, Yellowtail said:

That was a good one, but when I heard it, it was "Who's the greatest homerun hitter of all time?" and on the way the dog said: "dang, I forgot about Hank Aaron..."

 

I think there were many variations, I remember one about sitting on sandpaper - ruff, ruff!

1 minute ago, Crossy said:

 

I think there were many variations, I remember one about sitting on sandpaper - ruff, ruff!

Well you smoothed that one over, didn't you?

 

I wonder what's so special about an Oak tree?