Be careful when naming your dog, can get you into some sexy situation

My parents told me I could name my new pet dog anything I wanted and since I was a mischievous little boy, I decided to name the dog Sex. It seemed funny at first until you understand all the confusion that this caused me in my later life.

***

Like the day that I went to the town hall to get a dog license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a license for Sex. He said, “I’d like to have one, too.”

Then, I said, “You don’t understand. She’s a dog.” He replied, “Look man, I don’t care how she looks.”

“No, I’ve had Sex since I was 5!” He replied, “You must have been an early bloomer.”

***

When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me I’d have to wait until after the wedding.

When I protested that Sex had played a big part in my life and that my whole life revolved around Sex, he said he didn’t want to hear about my personal life.

***

After my wife and I got married, I took the dog with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the hotel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and wanted one for Sex.

She replied, “Sir, every room in the hotel can be used for sex.”

I said, “You don’t understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said, “Me too!”

***

When my wife & I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. When I told the Judge I had Sex before I was married, he grinned & said, “Me too.”

***

One day my dog Sex & I took a walk & he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A policeman came by & asked what I was doing in this alley at midnight.

I told him, "I’m looking for Sex!"

My case comes up next Tuesday.

***

Now that I’ve been thrown in jail, married, divorced, & had more trouble with that dog than I ever imagined, I’m in counseling.
My psychiatrist asked me what my problem was.

I said, “Sex has left my life. It’s like losing a best friend, & I’m so lonely.”

*He said, “Look, you & I both know that sex isn’t man’s best friend. Why don’t you go get yourself a dog*...”

50 minutes ago, ravip said:

Be careful when naming your dog,

You could call your dog. Syndrome?

Different joke but...

Such a down to earth, no bushes beaten, language...

2 hours ago, BLMFem said:

More like Cringey Oringey, given his flavour preference

Who said romance was dead?

I'd hide behind him...