From this book...

An engineer passes away. He wakes up in front of the pearly gates and meets a smiling St. Peter. “Welcome! Let me check if you’re worthy to enter the gates of heaven…”

“I regret to inform you that you are not in the book. This only means one thing. I am very sorry.”

St. Peter leads the engineer to an elevator. The elevator slams hard on the floor and within seconds the door opens again. He immediately sees Satan sitting at a burning desk with his feet up, watching TV. He walks up to him.

“Name?” Satan asks without looking. The engineer gives his name. “Not expecting you. No name, no space. Get out.”

Confused, the engineer goes back to the elevator back to St. Peter.

“I don’t understand. You weren’t in the list,” St. Peter says. Flustered, he grabs another book and looks through it. After going through the entire book, St. Peter’s eyes grow big and brings his stare to the engineer.

“Hey,” St. Peter says to the engineer, pulling his glasses down. “You never had a life, did you?”

Smith & Wesson has an annual employee picnic, that included a friendly shooting competition. One year, the managers and the engineers were each to field a team to compete.

When the managers got up to the line, it was READY, FIRE, AIM!!!!!!!!!

The engineers howled with laughter!

When the Engineers got to the line, it was READY, AIM, AIM, AIM, AIM, AIM, ....