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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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15 hours ago, overherebc said:

How do you make your wife go

Mmmmmmmmmm  Mmmmm Mmmmmmmm Mmmmmmmm all night?

 

Duct tape.

Do you know how to make her squeal twice in five minutes?

 

2 hours ago, jvs said:

Do you know how to make her squeal twice in five minutes?

 

If you know how to do that to my wife I will have to take the following actions;

1.  Ask how you managed it

2.  Shoot you.  Me shooting my wife is an option under consideration!

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A CHANGE OF SEASONS ARE NOW ALLOWED I BELIEVE

 

554308104_snowmanchair.jpg.b5a02a2f730ab6b1ef7dde824cc94a97.jpg

 

2 minutes ago, Peter Denis said:

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Must have liked the stuffing to get done twice!!

2 hours ago, fangless said:

If you know how to do that to my wife

I was not talking about your wife but i am sure it would work with her as well.

Please don't shoot her,she is nice!

52 minutes ago, jvs said:

I was not talking about your wife but i am sure it would work with her as well.

Please don't shoot her,she is nice!

How do you know she is nice?

That's it, where the hell is that bloody gun!

 

PS;  She is NOT nice after a few sh$gs!

59 minutes ago, fangless said:

That's it, where the hell is that bloody gun!

I am not going to tell you!I hid it under your bed.

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How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity in RETIREMENT

 

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars, and watch them slow down!

 

2. On all your bank transactions state reason for transfer - 'For Marijuana'!


3. Skip down the street rather than walk, and see how many looks you get.

 

4. With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.

 

5. Sing along at The Opera.


6. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'

 

7. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling, 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

 

8. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go....’

 

9. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

 

10. Go to a large Department store’s fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out, “There’s no paper in here!”

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