My wife is returning to her families for about 3 days and after handing over 8k i was not given a thank you, just a rolling over with the eyes. This was on top of the usual money i give her for the month (about 20). Anyone else experience this with their wife? I probably wouldnt spend this much on a holiday in Phuket. How does one justify this kinda of spending? I asked and was told "Fuel.......fuel....and...........and...." Its only 330km to her home. Im sure someone can empathize with me.

While she is away go and spend 8000 Baht on yourself over the same period to make yourself feel better. If you come to Pattaya you could easily spend that much in one day with a bit of imagination.

Why did you give her 8000 baht?

I would have given her money to travel and thats it!

 

I tried for 7 years on a wild goose chase to make my ex happy. They will run you and your finances into the ground without a thought for you or your future. Ive seen blokes blow many millions of baht on homes cars businesses for nothing more than bragging rights for the wife and a few facebook selfies. Not sure on your wifes background but I just dont see how people who have grown up so poor can become so selfish and entitled. Scratching around the floor for 20 baht 1 minute and the next wanting to live like the queen of Sheba. I used to ask mine what she did for me? Best she could come up with was "I live with you everyday". Country people here love to talk about sharing and call others stingy etc, but never seem to consider what theyre bringing to the party. My view now is if they want to see themself as a commodity where you have to pay....then you have the right to also shop around. Most can be upgraded / replaced in hours here

The only thing my wife would need money for with regards to a visit to her family would be if she needed to get a puncture repaired on her bicycle.


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20k a month ? is she your wife or an employee ? Seems you made a rod for your own back mate. You set the conditions and looks like its money based so cant moan about it now.

 

If it was me, it would be change your attitude or change your address lady. That is going to go downhill fast, if the money dries up and judging by the "rolling of the eyes" etc there isnt much respect there either.

 

Sorry, but that's how I see it.

It's all about face,she has to flash a bit money around .hope she brings

you some change.

regards worgeordie

1 hour ago, crickets said:

and after handing over 8k 

 

1 hour ago, crickets said:

i give her for the month (about 20).

28k? a guy could get married and divorced every other day in Pattaya for that.

11 minutes ago, The Cobra said:

20k a month ? is she your wife or an employee ? Seems you made a rod for your own back mate. You set the conditions and looks like its money based so cant moan about it now.

 

If it was me, it would be change your attitude or change your address lady. That is going to go downhill fast, if the money dries up and judging by the "rolling of the eyes" etc there isnt much respect there either.

 

Sorry, but that's how I see it.

I thought thats how it works with husbands. We allocate money for the wife to spend.

 

Sounds like she is going via SpaceX to get back to Isaan.

6 minutes ago, pr9spk said:

Sounds like she is going via SpaceX to get back to Isaan.

 

Tell her she gets a bonus if she uses the Thai parachute that opens on impact....????

 

 

Seriously though, you need to sort that out, and no it isnt the way to "allocate" money for her, thats not right in my opinion. But each to his own, if that suits you, your choice,

Depends on how much she spends on her 'brother' when she's at home. ????

 

Edit: You're missing an apostrophe in the title as well.???? 

24 minutes ago, crickets said:

I thought thats how it works with husbands. We allocate money for the wife to spend.

 

I dont give my wife any "allowance", she gets no cash whatsoever from me, but she doesnt want for anything either. Roof over her head, bills paid, food, clothes whatever she needs, her own car, and a bank card to pay things.

4 minutes ago, The Cobra said:

I dont give my wife any "allowance", she gets no cash whatsoever from me, but she doesnt want for anything either. Roof over her head, bills paid, food, clothes whatever she needs, her own car, and a bank card to pay things.

I can only imagine such a bank cards limit.

I just love these comments ``I dont give my wife any "allowance",``a bank card to pay things`????

 

Just now, crickets said:

I can only imagine such a bank cards limit.

Nope no credit, its a joint account, that i put money into and I get an sms every time she uses the card. All controlled.

7 minutes ago, Odin Norway said:

I just love these comments ``I dont give my wife any "allowance",``a bank card to pay things`????

 

Yep, groceries and bills, fuel, phone etc. Its not for her to use as she pleases. Its for housekeeping etc.

If you give her 20k just for her own and then another 8k for just a 330km trip and she complains, you face serious problems unless you are sure to keep being able to do this the rest of your life. Better sort that out now or end the relationship if you are unsure about being able to pay that up every time again anywhere in the future.

Would suggest a trial of sudden financial problems, announcing by the end of this month.
See how she responds and reacts and live a bit sober for a while, cut her allowance to 10k. 

Cut your losses short if she causes big trouble over that (within 3 months).

P.S. You could have 2 mia noi students on that budget too.

42 minutes ago, crickets said:

I thought thats how it works with husbands. We allocate money for the wife to spend.

 

It depends "how much".
Do the Math:
Before she met you she was earning 300 Bht a day in the Isaan. You paid her a 26 day wage for a 3 day holiday.
The same amount would buy you 11 "exiting encounters" in Pattaya.
- Time for you to start "rolling your eyes"!

3 minutes ago, swissie said:

It depends "how much".
Do the Math:
Before she met you she was earning 300 Bht a day in the Isaan. You paid her a 26 day wage for a 3 day holiday.
The same amount would buy you 11 "exiting encounters" in Pattaya.
- Time for you to start "rolling your eyes"!

Wait what? 11 for 8000? Where? Beach road doesn't count.

1 minute ago, swissie said:

It depends "how much".
Do the Math:
Before she met you she was earning 300 Bht a day in the Isaan. You paid her a 26 day wage for a 3 day holiday.
The same amount would buy you 11 "exiting encounters" in Pattaya.
- Time for you to start "rolling your eyes"!

 

Just now, tabarin said:

What? 11 for 8000? Where?

My calculator did not match those figures either????

 

15 minutes ago, tabarin said:

If you give her 20k just for her own and then another 8k for just a 330km trip and she complains, you face serious problems 

I agree with this - 8k is 200 quid, if I gave my wife that and she was unappreciative I would be looking for a new wife.

5 minutes ago, tabarin said:

Wait what? 11 for 8000? Where? Beach road doesn't count.

Granted. On Walking Street in a "Top-Notch" Go-Go it would only buy 3 "exiting encounters".

Stop with the encounters + prices please.No specifics in that area.

Discussions about money never have any correct answer. Some can burn 10k in a day and for others, it can last weeks.

The problem starts when you are taken for granted. Any rolling eyes is a good indicator for that. The respect is gone before that, and it's hard to get it back.

Any wives or girlfriends that don't work for anything, will never appreciate the value of anything either. And I don't care if anyone says mine is different

 

30 minutes ago, tabarin said:

If you give her 20k just for her own and then another 8k for just a 330km trip and she complains, you face serious problems unless you are sure to keep being able to do this the rest of your life. Better sort that out now or end the relationship if you are unsure about being able to pay that up every time again anywhere in the future.

Would suggest a trial of sudden financial problems, announcing by the end of this month.
See how she responds and reacts and live a bit sober for a while, cut her allowance to 10k. 

Cut your losses short if she causes big trouble over that (within 3 months).

P.S. You could have 2 mia noi students on that budget too.

Too late.....have a home loan and two kids with her already. The glory days were when she was working and she payed half the mortgage, then we had kids. People are so enthusiastic about kids...wished someone warned me about the pitfalls.

46 minutes ago, The Cobra said:

Nope no credit, its a joint account, that i put money into and I get an sms every time she uses the card. All controlled.

Kinda sad that you feel the need to have to watch her spending 

I have a funny feeling. I am afraid OP's next post will be: "Where can I find a good and honest Thai Lawyer, specialising in Farang/Thai divorce cases".

 

If she is going with the children and there is a BBQ and a few drinks and snacks with extended family, 8000 seems OK to me.