I know it’s probably been done to death elsewhere, but here’s my two penn’orth.

 

You know when you’ve been in Thailand too long when…

 

1.     You walk round the back of two people talking in a corridor.

2.     You don’t bat an eyelid when you see someone squeezing their spots in the motorbike wing mirror.

3.     You are short with the waitress when she doesn’t automatically bring the prik nam pla.

4.     Your missus brings home a floral plastic table cloth and you coo admiringly before laying out the pink tissue holder.

5.     You duck when stepping over someone’s outstretched legs when they are sitting on the floor.

6.     Unabashed, you have a good rummage in your nostril to find a prize bogie.

7.     You put ice in the glass before pouring a beer.

8.     You always take a big stick when walking outside the moo baan, ready for the soi dogs.

9.     On your first day back in the UK, you say at the petrol station, “Gow ha, dem tank, khrap.”

10.  The plumber says he’ll be round in the morning so you go out, knowing that he’ll come in the afternoon (or tomorrow).

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.........

Even western companies are different here, booked IKEA delivery for 3-6 PM, arrives at 8.25 AM with a big grin on his face  ????

you really do not want to see my list.

My list looks nothing like this 

.....the footprints on the toilet seat are yours.

....you find an insect in your food and you just move it to the side of the plate and keep eating.

3 minutes ago, Wiggy said:

....you find an insect in your food and you just move it to the side of the plate and keep eating.

Why move it to the side?  I just eat it with the rest of the food lol

Dont know where in UK you would say that (#9) at a petrol station, as they are ALL self service !

 

Here's one to add, when you start pointing at things with your lips !

2 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

Why move it to the side?  I just eat it with the rest of the food lol

Lol. Yes, probably more nutritious.

On 3/3/2020 at 10:12 AM, Vietem said:

The plumber says he’ll be round in the morning so you go out, knowing that he’ll come in the afternoon (or tomorrow).

Where is this "plumber" located, I have yet to find one in all my years in Thailand!

#8. I agree with, take a stick and put a couple of rocks in your pocket as well! - just in case.

On 3/2/2020 at 8:23 PM, NCC1701A said:

you really do not want to see my list.

Not without pics we don't. 

...you just assume your steam rice in a restaurant will be delivered 15-20 minutes before the two dishes you ordered 

...you get accustomed to the gecko brown markings on the interior of your house walls

... expecting the sound of “ma-mee” (no have) when asking for a particular item in a store (a shop will wait until they run out before stocking up the particular brand name item)

... no shock seeing Thais laugh at obese, handicap, or mentally handicap people in comedies

....not shocked seeing Buddhist wats more interested in their building projects than helping the needy

... being scolded showing the bottom of your feet; meanwhile it’s ok for locals to itch the bottom of their feet while eating

when you can have a meaningful conversation with just a grunt or two and the occasional "oho!"

On 3/3/2020 at 11:23 AM, NCC1701A said:

you really do not want to see my list.

Correct

Thank you for confirming I have not been in Thailand too long.????

.....You stop at the top of the escalator to plan your day

It's perfectly acceptable to have a toilet roll on the dining table.

 

My barometer is watching how foreigners drive, both on motorbikes and cars. A lot of them here go native on the roads and start driving like the locals. Just an observation. 

2 hours ago, Wiggy said:

.....the footprints on the toilet seat are yours.

Not going to happen, ever.

you visit your home country and get upset when you learn that you cannot bar fine the waitresses

When you begin hating everything and everyone in your adopted country!

You lock yourself in the bathroom while showering even though n one else is home.

 

You cannot hear anyone yelling for you (even if they are just outside the door and yelling 'fire') when you are showering in the locked bathroom.

Happened to me the other day when I realised I was getting excited about the opening of a

new 7-11 down the road from us.........wonder what products they are going to have which are

completely different from the five other 7-11s in our locale. 

2 hours ago, CGW said:

Where is this "plumber" located, I have yet to find one in all my years in Thailand!

#8. I agree with, take a stick and put a couple of rocks in your pocket as well! - just in case.

I've noticed that in my native UK there's a website you can use to find a decent plumber, electrician etc, in your area with reviews of the service they give. Wouldn't it be great if they had that in Thailand?

 

cant see any of those things ever affecting me, maybe my life is too civilised ????

3 hours ago, Wiggy said:

.....the footprints on the toilet seat are yours.

You've changed your wristwatch for a calendar. 

56 minutes ago, Jaxxper said:

My barometer is watching how foreigners drive, both on motorbikes and cars. A lot of them here go native on the roads and start driving like the locals. Just an observation. 

Maybe the only way to survive.

11. You start to think Thai women are attractive 

You ride on the back of a motorbike taxi with your hands resting on your knees