My girlfriends job

[MrMilk]

Me and my girlfriend been together now for around 1.5 year. We are both in our thirties and no kids.

 

So my girlfriend comes from a farmer family and work as a farmer herself.

 

After about 6 months living together my girlfriend came home one day and told me proudly that her mom have given her new land. 

The land was just made ready to work on.

Expected to start earning money income from harvest after 4-5 years.

 

She had a couple of hundred thousands baht herself at the beginning but in the process of digging, planting, water system, diesel, plants etc , her money came to a end.

 

So then it turned into my problem.

 

Its not any big expenses related to this anymore but it's something all the time.

 

600 in diesel 3 times a week for watering, 200 in diesel for the car back and forth 6 times a week, workers a 1200 5-6 times a month, 5000 in fertiliser a month, and the list goes on.

 

I simply cant afford to pay for all of this.

I am already paying all of the normal life expenses for both of us ( rent, food, living), and I personally think that should be more than enough.

No way I can or are going to continue doing this for years.

 

A couple of months ago I told her to talk to her mom and find a solution that didn't involve me.

Of course this is "impossible" for her to do. Everytime I bring it up it ends with a big nasty fight instead.

 

Mom have way more money than me so why should I be the one paying for this?

 

What pisses me of even more is that I never been offered a single thing back for my "investments".

In her mind the land and upcoming income in the future 100% belong to her.

It would be different if she offered me a deal of some kind but No No Mine Mine Mine.

In the end I would much rather prefer to have nothing to do with it.

 

How can I end up with no obligations related to her work and still keep my girlfriend?

 

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, MrMilk said:

How can I end up with no obligations related to her work and still keep my girlfriend?

You can't!

Once you've started the donations, there's no going back with the girl.

What you've listed, I suspect only a fraction of that is really being spent.

It's support or no gf.

 

I'd actually go the no gf route at the moment as there are plenty of prettier, younger and more broke gfs to be had.

Mine wanted me to fund rubber trees a year or two back ..... I told her no chance.

Sadly she didn't leave ..........

Edited April 25, 2020 by BritManToo

[blackcab]

4 minutes ago, MrMilk said:

How can I end up with no obligations related to her work and still keep my girlfriend?

 

You can't. Time to move on.

[Tagged]

Managed to spend a couple of houndred thousands on trees and fertilizers? How big is this land of hers may I ask? 100 rai? 

 

Trees, fertilizers etc do not cost much. What is the plan with the land? When do she plan to have any returns?

[Davo369]

Oh dear.... or Oh well... what should it be ????‍♂️????‍♂️????‍♂️

[darrendsd]

Do you really want to be with a woman who expects you to pay for all of this? The the land has been given to her story is probably BS anyway - just a lie to get you to pay

 

She will probably finish with you if you stop paying so get in there first

[Worldplus]

Remember..  it's gonna cost you to leave her...

 

Best to do it now...  

[rumak]

9 minutes ago, MrMilk said:

How can I end up with no obligations related to her work and still keep my girlfriend?

The real question is:   how long will you let her control you ?

 

i think you said you are in your thirties.   ok    fair enough.    I made mistakes into my forties !

 

But no more.   I am in control.   I know what i want and expect from a female.   BM2 does as

well, i think.   But we are old guys  55

If you learn from our lessons...... you will be ahead of the game.  

BTW:   No IF   And   or Butts

[NanLaew]

11 minutes ago, blackcab said:

16 minutes ago, MrMilk said:

How can I end up with no obligations related to her work and still keep my girlfriend?

 

You can't. Time to move on.

A bit premature IMHO. Give it some time.

 

However, if there's at least one family dog already on the property, then yes, it is time to move on.

[MrMilk]

10 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

What you've listed, I suspect only a fraction of that is really being spent.

I can confirm 100% no money is being pocketing. The reason I can do that is because I have the "pleasure" of going with her weekly to help her too! The expenses are real.

 

[bkk6060]

26 minutes ago, MrMilk said:

How can I end up with no obligations related to her work and still keep my girlfriend?

Find a better job.

Edited April 25, 2020 by bkk6060

[Tie Dye Samurai]

Her mom "gives" your GF the land....GF makes you pay for all the expenses...makes you work the land with her....and you get nothing in return except arguments and fights when you try to treat her like it is a business and you are investor. But when it is time for her to part with income from land, then suddenly you need to be good heart for your Teelak...

 

You are being weak, she is treating you like it is business and it sounds like her mom found a "silent" investor and free labor in you.  Because at the end of the day everything that comes from that land will go to Momma...wake up Dude and find a new woman that respects you.

[tomauasia]

You are a simple man. They have upped the game. This was planned they want another plot and your paying

Time to go

[MrMilk]

7 minutes ago, darrendsd said:

Do you really want to be with a woman who expects you to pay for all of this? The the land has been given to her story is probably BS anyway - just a lie to get you to pay

 

She will probably finish with you if you stop paying so get in there first

The land was given to her as a gift from by mom/dad. I think they jumped the gun a bit early and expected us to get married in not long. 

 

She come from a wealthy family which have a lot of land around in the district. Money is not a concern from them.

 

The thing I don`t get, and have a hard time accepting, is that I should be the one paying for this party.

 

If they want to give her land and secure her income then perfect. Nothing better than that. But shouldn't THEY be the one following up on this too then until she begin earning money from it?

[Martin Spence]

I can tell you 100% you are being fooled! Can you understand thai? If so you will know where the money is going. 

 

Why pay all this money out with out no return? You need to sit down work all this out.

 

At your age there is many girls about with no baggage. 

 

But dont worry you will be good ????????

[473geo]

Any business has set up costs and your girlfriend has invested 200k of her own into the business. Her mother has given the land free. So she is looking to you for some help running costs to help her get further along. Is that so bad?

 

Without knowing the product and size of the operation it is impossible for anybody here to evaluate the chances of success in the future - the girl is having a go, look on the positive side, once the revenue starts rolling in your costs should be lowered and you have a happy girlfriend who is after all trying to generate a little income so as not to burden you too much in the future

 

 

[rumak]

Just now, MrMilk said:

The land was given to her as a gift from by mom/dad. I think they jumped the gun a bit early and expected us to get married in not long. 

 

She come from a wealthy family which have a lot of land around in the district. Money is not a concern from them.

 

The thing I don`t get, and have a hard time accepting, is that I should be the one paying for this party.

 

If they want to give her land and secure her income then perfect. Nothing better than that. But shouldn't THEY be the one following up on this too then until she begin earning money from it?

 

[Tagged]

4 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Any business has set up costs and your girlfriend has invested 200k of her own into the business. Her mother has given the land free. So she is looking to you for some help running costs to help her get further along. Is that so bad?

 

Without knowing the product and size of the operation it is impossible for anybody here to evaluate the chances of success in the future - the girl is having a go, look on the positive side, once the revenue starts rolling in your costs should be lowered and you have a happy girlfriend who is after all trying to generate a little income so as not to burden you too much in the future

 

 

To late now, he already showed himself as a Cheep C, and she already looking for a new investor. 

 

Anyway, make sense what you say, if he loves her, he supports her! Of course in reasonable terms. If she do not understand whats reasonble, she should look for a new bf. 

[BritManToo]

15 minutes ago, MrMilk said:

I can confirm 100% no money is being pocketing. The reason I can do that is because I have the "pleasure" of going with her weekly to help her too! The expenses are real.

 

Nah, the ag. supplier will be in on it with her.

Sell to you at double the normal price, then the supply shop slip her 25% at a later date.

 

5k on fertilizer is a massive amount, my misses didn't spend anywhere near that on her 5 rai rice paddy for the entire grow.

[Henryford]

Time for a new girlfriend

[Neeranam]

It's your own fault. Years ago, when my wife's family asked me for money for a business venture, I asked them for a detailed repayment plan, projected  yearly profits, etc. They never got back, which showed they were trying a fast one.

I gave them money 19 years ago for a dowry, which they said I would get back. I didn't and haven't given them anything much since. 

Tell your gf's mother where to stick it and if she doesn't like it, move on.

[Davo369]

Mr milk... your getting milked...

[Bangkokazy]

What you do is just an expensive hobby.
You should ask her a question.
What have you to offer me?

[Tingtong2mut]

You have heard the saying about buying a white elephant? It originated in Thailand lol. Google it. Beware Thais baring gifts.

 

On the actual issue, do what the thai guys do. Promise, agree, dither, postpone, deflect but dont actually do or give anything and never confront. Promise her the world and give her an atlas. She wont leave you. If she is persistent and aggressive cut your losses and leave. If it is a Thai business venture of any sort will be an endless black hole she will be throwing YOUR money in

[steven100]

so let me get this straight .....  you want a gf who will be with you and sleep with you and have a future with you but you don't want to support her with the running costs and anything to do with the land. 

 

hmmm .....  i think I've got it right ....    sounds like you want a gf that won't cost you anything. imo

[Neeranam]

28 minutes ago, Worldplus said:

Remember..  it's gonna cost you to leave her...

 

Best to do it now...  

Not if she is hot,

[The Word]

43 minutes ago, Tagged said:

Managed to spend a couple of houndred thousands on trees and fertilizers? How big is this land of hers may I ask? 100 rai? 

 

Trees, fertilizers etc do not cost much. What is the plan with the land? When do she plan to have any returns?

There's a lot more to it than trees and fertilizer, as he explained in the OP...

"...digging, planting, water system, plants...600 in diesel 3 times a week for watering, 200 in diesel for the car back and forth 6 times a week, workers a 1200 5-6 times a month..."

 

"What is the plan with the land? When do she plan to have any returns?"

In his OP he said 4-5 years, so he probably means 4-5 years.

Edited April 25, 2020 by The Word

[The Word]

34 minutes ago, rumak said:

BTW:   No IF   And   or Butts

"...or Butts [sic]"

Butt is why he's with her at the moment.

[holy cow cm]

Get her pregnant and that gives you a reason to help out.

[RichardColeman]

I guarantee now that if you pay for everything until the place is up and ready and making a small income, you 'girlfriend' will suddenly acquire a fresh piece of land soon after and need the same thing done again. 

 

Just out of interest - have you actually seen and read and understood the land deeds she has of the land ? That you girlfriend actually owns it and not just been loaned it ? Personally - if daft enough - I would not invest another penny until I saw the deed in her name