Now this beer ban has been lifted, i can see there's gonna be a lot of silent treatment on the horizon.....

I haven't read many posts here, but i don't like silent treatments at all.

I think it happened twice to me in Thailand, and it lasted less than 24 hours.

I just started to put the gf's stuff near the door, and like a magic, the comedy started again.

22 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

Overnight. She was fine in the morning. And frankly, that is about as long as I would tolerate. Sorry. Not into the dysfunctional relationship thing.  

I do know what you mean. It's just odd and obviously makes for a very bad atmosphere in the house, and then it becomes this silly who talks first loses type of game. It can also be awkward if you catch each others eye accidently, or you pass each other on the stairs or coming in and out a door, or someone comes to the door for them and then you have to get their attention even when you don't want to, etc etc..

 

Mind you, it's not just a modern day thing, I remember growing up my folks use to have silent periods that went on for days, it wasn't nice.

3 minutes ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

Mind you, it's not just a modern day thing, I remember growing up my folks use to have silent periods that went on for days, it wasn't nice.

I think how you were raised has much to do with it, i was disciplined with a clip round the ear over the silent treatment method.  And i find it hard when my wife has given me the silent treatment (only twice since we were together) I'd much rather the clip round the ear and everything back to normal then live with a stranger for day's.  Just me though.

My mate Ron got the silent treatment for 18 months. His second child was born and that seemed to change things for the better.

About 2h or until i tell her im going to take a coffee in the city

What a chance when they stop talking !

have you ever met one who has anything smart and useful to say ? I don't even when dating mostly university educated girls...

 

 

I'm a bit baffled by the OP. I simply wouldn't stick around for 5 days of that kind of treatment.

 

So the question is kind of moot, as you're not exactly forced to sit it out. I would probably tolerate 2-3 days if I can make sense of the underlying reason. Less otherwise.

It's just a part of so many Thais acting like children. Little kids sulk, adults do not. Unless they're Thai. Maybe not just a Thai-thing, I don't know, but I never experienced it until I came to Thailand. I've had it two or three times over 30 years with the missus, which isn't bad. Only lasted until next morning.

Best I've lasted is about 3 days, my wife usually interrupts my interlude in order to resolve the issue. I'm the one that goes into silent mode..i like it. Sometimes the "talk" is worse than the original arguement.

My lady is very even tempered as I am as well. May have a little sulk every 6 months or so and I deal with it the same way every time.

 

”Sweetheart you have one hour to stop this <deleted> or I will pack you up and send you back to mommy for two months.”

 

<deleted> stops every time.

On 5/2/2020 at 1:55 AM, KhaoYai said:

I can't say this would work for everyone but after the first time, which to be honest only lasted until the next morning when she just acted as if nothing had happened (quite common apparently), I decided I couldn't be doing with it.

 

The next time I told her I was leaving, call me when you are prepared to talk.  She let me pack, even walk out of the building but the phone rang 5 minutes later.

The old reverse psychology ayy !!

usually it’s the girl who packs n storms off to Mums lol ???? 

Two to three days on payment of money.

 

Three to six without.

 

Rooster

Twenty-six years, one month and sixteen days.

Men are seen by women in Thailand as being second to the boss. What men say should go. My missus does everything for me. Washes my feet and cuts my toe nails. Fingernails the same. I never have to make a drink, tea or coffee, unless she's not in. She sees it as her duty, and who am I to argue?

On 5/2/2020 at 8:14 AM, villagefarang said:

We both prefer to talk things out.

This is my last throw of the dice. Too old to start again - again. It's worth making the effort to keep it together when things gets tough. Sometimes she's right and sometimes I'm right. 

7 minutes ago, IvorBiggun2 said:

I never have to make a drink, tea or coffee

My god, that is a vision of hell for me. I prefer to manage my own life - wash my clothes, the floor, dishes, make breakfast, coffee, etc. I can't abide strong, spicy Thai food, and western food is hard to acquire, so it's often takeaway khao phat gai for me.
 

39 minutes ago, teatime101 said:

My god, that is a vision of hell for me.

Time to move on.

3 days. 

6 years and 7 months....still going

For anyone considering moving to the Philippines, they do the same thing there. It's called Tampo and many a vlogger in the Philippines has done a video on it.

There, its usually due to some perceived slight and some women there do it just to get the guy to come to them asking "Whats wrong, what did I do? Is it because I did X or Y or Z?". Theyre just looking to get the guy to incriminate himself.

 

A buddy of mine with many years experience in the Philippines warned me of this the first time I dated a Filipina.

The first time she pulled this, I sat her down and said if she had an issue with something I'd done, she can talk to me and we can both talk it out like adults or I can go find a girlfriend who will. After that, no more tampo.

I just wonder: why do you guys put up with this? 

I used to do this when I was, like, 11. I don't do this anymore, especially if you live together. It's very childish. 

On 5/2/2020 at 12:56 PM, Kinnock said:

Congratulations!

 

From my experience the length of the silent spells increases in proportion with how long you've been married, but as she wont say what you've done wrong anyway, just ignore them and they go away.

 

I think the Thai husbands approach is to visit the 'gik' until it blows over, but that may be why most Thai marriages last about 3 weeks.

 

I never got the silent treatment. Life was good for about 3 years, and then it was rows followed by ( her )  "can we start again" which graduated to full on screaming harpy from hell, and that was the end.

It was good that she was like that at the end as it made it easier to divorce her, but my memories now are of happier times, and that makes it hard to accept my life as it is now. I try not to think of her at all, but sometimes ( like on threads like this ) she pops into my mind.

13 hours ago, Caldera said:

I'm a bit baffled by the OP. I simply wouldn't stick around for 5 days of that kind of treatment.

 

So the question is kind of moot, as you're not exactly forced to sit it out. I would probably tolerate 2-3 days if I can make sense of the underlying reason. Less otherwise.

Not everyone has the spare cash to go off and stay in an hotel at the drop of a hat. Had I not committed myself all in I'd have gone back to Pattaya till she rang me to beg me to come back.

6 hours ago, daphnia88 said:

I just wonder: why do you guys put up with this? 

I used to do this when I was, like, 11. I don't do this anymore, especially if you live together. It's very childish. 

Because she wasn't like that when we married them, and we don't change wives like bargirls.

11 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Not everyone has the spare cash to go off and stay in an hotel at the drop of a hat. Had I not committed myself all in I'd have gone back to Pattaya till she rang me to beg me to come back.

You didn't have 5k/month or 500bht/night for a hotel?

18 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I never got the silent treatment. Life was good for about 3 years, and then it was rows followed by ( her )  "can we start again" which graduated to full on screaming harpy from hell, and that was the end.

It was good that she was like that at the end as it made it easier to divorce her, but my memories now are of happier times, and that makes it hard to accept my life as it is now. I try not to think of her at all, but sometimes ( like on threads like this ) she pops into my mind.

I've always found moving in a new one, makes me stop thinking about the last one.

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

You didn't have 5k/month or 500bht/night for a hotel?

I said I didn't have "SPARE" cash. I certainly had money or I could not have stayed in LOS.

Just now, BritManToo said:

I've always found moving in a new one, makes me stop thinking about the last one.

I think we move in different financial circumstances.

7 hours ago, Sterling said:

For anyone considering moving to the Philippines, they do the same thing there. It's called Tampo and many a vlogger in the Philippines has done a video on it.

There, its usually due to some perceived slight and some women there do it just to get the guy to come to them asking "Whats wrong, what did I do? Is it because I did X or Y or Z?". Theyre just looking to get the guy to incriminate himself.

 

A buddy of mine with many years experience in the Philippines warned me of this the first time I dated a Filipina.

The first time she pulled this, I sat her down and said if she had an issue with something I'd done, she can talk to me and we can both talk it out like adults or I can go find a girlfriend who will. After that, no more tampo.

All fixed if you learn 'frame'.

Never explain yourself, or your actions to a woman, your choices are not her business.

'Talk it out like adults' never works because she isn't really an adult, and talking about anything meaningful to a woman just shows her your weakness.