Pay it forward

[mtflamingo]

As a privileged white person living in Thailand during these times am I the only one who feels the need to pay it forward.  I don't know where you all come from but as a person from a small rural village I often feel that even through I live in a big city those around me need my help.  While I have lived here for over 4 years I don't want to break face.  How do you go about helping without breaking face?  This evening I was at a stand and I put 100 bhat down for the woman behind me.  Did I break face?  I always bring treats for the staff at my apartment building as well as the nanny who cleans my classroom.  I want to know how I can help them in this time of uncertainty while also not breaking face.  Any suggestions?  I want to let them know that I care but I don't want to strip any dignity from anyone.  

[Bangkokhatter]

There are many food banks operating around the city or just do a search on facebook and you will find many places to donate, can be money, food, clothes or whatever you think those in need may require.

 

Nothing wrong with what your doing now, not sure why your so worried about it ?

[mtflamingo]

Just now, Bangkokhatter said:

Nothing wrong with what your doing now, not sure why your so worried about it ?

I have donated to many food banks in the city. I guess the white savior in me needs to know that just donating money isn't breaking face.  

[mtflamingo]

And I know that sounds horrible but that is what any non white calls it when you try to help.

[Skallywag]

I have been giving Baht, food, and love to select Thai ladies here for over 22 years.  (only retired here in 2018 though)

I will continue of course as I believe many of these Thai ladies support children, parents, or even a husband and/or boyfriend????????

I give until there is no more to give each and every month

Edited May 5, 2020 by Skallywag

[mtflamingo]

Just now, Skallywag said:

I have been giving Baht, food, and love to select Thai ladies here for over 22 years.  (only retired here in 2018 though)

I will continue of course as I believe many of these Thai ladies support children, parents, or even a husband and/or boyfriend

I give until there is no more to give each and every month

And that is the difference between men and women.  Believe it or not women also come here and are not willing to pursue the matters of flesh that men are.

[bwpage3]

You are talking about 100 baht.

 

You are not a white savior, you are trying to tell yourself you are making a difference and the fact is you are not.

 

You are not going to break face with 100 baht.

 

Anyone that claims they are a "privileged white person in Thailand" and then posts about giving a 100 baht?

 

I consider CP family privileged making billions a year.

 

 

 

 

[Bangkokhatter]

44 minutes ago, mtflamingo said:

I have donated to many food banks in the city. I guess the white savior in me needs to know that just donating money isn't breaking face.  

Not sure where your idea of white saviour comes from, think your problem is personal.

 

I have given both time, money and food during the present situation and then just forgot about it, i embrace the idea of pay it forward but white saviour...come on.

[mtflamingo]

2 minutes ago, bwpage3 said:

You are talking about 100 baht.

 

You are not a white savior, you are trying to tell yourself you are making a difference and the fact is you are not.

 

You are not going to break face with 100 baht.

 

Anyone that claims they are a "privileged white person in Thailand" and then posts about giving a 100 baht?

 

I consider CP family privileged making billions a year.

 

 

 

 

Oh I am sorry I should have also mention that I have donated over 10% of my monthly salary for the past 3 months to various charities for the past 3 months in order to make sure those around me are fey.  While it may not seem like much to you it is a pretty chunk of my wages for me.  I am also assuming that you have done the same seeing as you have called me our for my donations 

[saakura]

3 minutes ago, mtflamingo said:

Oh I am sorry I should have also mention that I have donated over 10% of my monthly salary for the past 3 months to various charities for the past 3 months in order to make sure those around me are fey.  While it may not seem like much to you it is a pretty chunk of my wages for me.  I am also assuming that you have done the same seeing as you have called me our for my donations 

And why do you feel the need to boast about your donation? If you have donated, very good on you. Why blow a trumpet?

[mtflamingo]

Just now, Bangkokhatter said:

Not sure where your idea of white saviour comes from, think your problem is personal.

 

I have given both time, money and food during the present situation and then just forgot about it, i embrace the idea of pay it forward but white saviour...come on.

I am sorry that you have never had your ideas of helping called against you.  But the white savior complex comes from a long horrible history in America.

https://sojo.net/articles/6-harmful-consequences-white-savior-complex

https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2012/03/the-white-savior-industrial-complex/254843/

https://lib.dr.iastate.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1138&context=jctp

And this is why I as a white woman am trying to make sure that what I do is okay and not playing into stereotypical versions of what I should be oing.

 

[mtflamingo]

Just now, saakura said:

And why do you feel the need to boast about your donation? If you have donated, very good on you. Why blow a trumpet?

All I was wondering if what I was doing was breaking face.  If you know anything about the culture here you would know that is unacceptable. 

[BritManToo]

59 minutes ago, mtflamingo said:

As a privileged white person living in Thailand during these times am I the only one who feels the need to pay it forward.

You're bonkers matey ....

You want to help a people whose government hates us and wants us out?

I'll help the women I sleep with, and the children I care for, but that's it.

 

[saakura]

1 minute ago, mtflamingo said:

All I was wondering if what I was doing was breaking face.  If you know anything about the culture here you would know that is unacceptable. 

Looks to me like you are trying to gain face by imagining that you are some kind of white angel come to save the poor starving natives with a gift of a 100 baht. "White Saviour", are you from the slavery era?

[mtflamingo]

All I wanted to know was what was the right way to go about donating.  And I have learned that I am a horrible person for even asking this question.  I was trying to make sure I didn't break face with my donations and you have assured me that I what I am doing makes me a horrible person.  When all that I really wanted to know was that they ways that I was trying to help was beneficial to those around me.

[mtflamingo]

Just now, saakura said:

Looks to me like you are trying to gain face by imagining that you are some kind of white angel come to save the poor starving natives with a gift of a 100 baht. "White Saviour", are you from the slavery era?

Oh totally and that is why I gave up 27 months of my life to work in a rural village in order to help those around me and fell in love with Thailand in the process.  If they didn't what me here they would have never extended visa to me.

[northsouthdevide]

You're digging a bigger hole for yourself mate. 

Give your ego a day off. 

[mtflamingo]

2 minutes ago, saakura said:

Looks to me like you are trying to gain face by imagining that you are some kind of white angel come to save the poor starving natives with a gift of a 100 baht. "White Saviour", are you from the slavery era?

Oh yes the over 2 years of my life that I gave being a volunteer doesn't matter.  In case you were curios some people come here because the Thai government asks for their help.  But please assume that I am like all the others when really all I was asking for was guidance during these unprecedented times

[scorecard]

1 hour ago, Bangkokhatter said:

There are many food banks operating around the city or just do a search on facebook and you will find many places to donate, can be money, food, clothes or whatever you think those in need may require.

 

Nothing wrong with what your doing now, not sure why your so worried about it ?

Agree, however also agree giving food is perhaps best, and a bigger bag where your aware there are kids or old folks maybe also needing food. 

[mtflamingo]

1 minute ago, northsouthdevide said:

You're digging a bigger hole for yourself mate. 

Give your ego a day off. 

No your totally right.  I lived in Thailand for 27 months making 6k bhat a month so I have so much to gain from this.  Unlike some I actually came over to help not to <deleted> desperate women who were so down on their luck they would marry the first white man to come to their village.

[mtflamingo]

Just now, scorecard said:

Agree, however also agree giving food is perhaps best, and a bigger bag where your aware there are kids or old folks maybe also needing food. 

Already donated here are there other places I can donate?

 

https://taejai.com/th/

[saakura]

14 minutes ago, mtflamingo said:

Oh yes the over 2 years of my life that I gave being a volunteer doesn't matter.  In case you were curios some people come here because the Thai government asks for their help.  But please assume that I am like all the others when really all I was asking for was guidance during these unprecedented times

So tell us why you have to call yourself a "White Saviour"??

[Bob A Kneale]

1 hour ago, mtflamingo said:

I want to know how I can help them in this time of uncertainty while also not breaking face. 

Thank you for your service but after your living here for 4 years and being a "white saviour" giving that B600 per month for more than two of those years, how come you can't work out whether you're causing those you're helping so much to lose (break?) face?   This potential problem for them has only just occurred to you now?

 

How did the Thai government ask for your help, are you involved with an international charity?  It doesn't sound at all like something the government here would ever do.

Edited May 5, 2020 by Bob A Kneale

[Bangkokhatter]

25 minutes ago, mtflamingo said:

All I wanted to know was what was the right way to go about donating.  And I have learned that I am a horrible person for even asking this question.  I was trying to make sure I didn't break face with my donations and you have assured me that I what I am doing makes me a horrible person.  When all that I really wanted to know was that they ways that I was trying to help was beneficial to those around me.

You are doing fine, any kind of donation in these uncertain times will be welcome and if the person on the receiving end feels they are losing face then i would suggest the problem is theirs and not yours.

 

Having said that it's probably best to join one of the many groups around the city, I could imagine just leaving 100 THB to the lady behind you in a queue could well be taken the wrong way.

[steven100]

give it a break girl, they don't need your 100 baht. 

geeze .... get a box of beer and hit the p_iss for a few days .... then reality might set in.

[1FinickyOne]

38 minutes ago, mtflamingo said:

All I was wondering if what I was doing was breaking face.  If you know anything about the culture here you would know that is unacceptable.

First, the term is losing face and in these tough times for many, a gift is considered in very good form. Helping others here is widely considered very very nice, especially from a foreigner. I would only add to be a bit thoughtful when giving to strangers... not to give just to anyone... a friend of mine likes to give 100 baht to the little older lady who sweeps the streets... 

 

you are doing something very good and highly commendable and all Thai people will see it that way too... I don't give to large charities but give hand to hand on a regular basis... I know a lot of people and most are not wealthy and I know when they are hurting.. I know when business is slow, I know when it is back to school time and funds are needed for that... 

 

Generosity is very acceptable and highly regarded. 

[Bob A Kneale]

29 minutes ago, mtflamingo said:

Already donated here are there other places I can donate?

 

https://taejai.com/th/

There are more than 100 projects that Taejai is funding, how many more places do you need to spread your philanthropy to?  Your OP is not just about self-aggrandisement, is it?

[Puchaiyank]

Me thinks you are a bit too sensitive about breaking-face!

 

Thousands are lining up for government baht handouts during this time of trouble.

 

Practice social distancing...wear a face mask...or you may end up only helping the local police...

[Bob A Kneale]

1 hour ago, mtflamingo said:

And I know that sounds horrible but that is what any non white calls it when you try to help.

"...that is what any non white calls it when you try to help".

That's just sheer nonsense.

[mtflamingo]

20 minutes ago, Bob A Kneale said:

Thank you for your service but after your living here for 4 years and being a "white saviour" giving that B600 per month for more than two of those years, how come you can't work out whether you're causing those you're helping so much to lose (break?) face?   This potential problem for them has only just occurred to you now?

 

How did the Thai government ask for your help, are you involved with an international charity?  It doesn't sound at all like something the government here would ever do.

Well before all this when down the government was asking for help from America.  I was lucky to placed as a teacher trainer.  Working with native Thai teachers to become more proficient with teaching English