Are Thai mothers legally required to look after their babies?

[OneMoreFarang]

I know most mothers, anywhere in the world, love their children and do everything for their children.

 

Unfortunately in the extended family of my Thai gf is a girl who had already three children from three Thai guys she doesn't care about. She dumped the children with her mother. And maybe, on a good day, she sends some money to her mother.

 

Now this girl, by now maybe 25 years old, is pregnant again. It seems the father is her Thai boyfriend. But since two months she is in Germany to marry a German guy. She has the baby already 6 month in her belly and now she just found out. And the German guy is smart enough to figure out that he is not the father.

 

It seems now she has this idea to return to Thailand and this time dump the baby with my Thai gf because it seems her mother told her she can't handle another baby.

My gf doesn't want the baby - but she is a caring person and if her relative would dump that baby then probably my gf would take care of the baby.

 

Now my question is: What is the legal situation here in Thailand with mother and child? What if the mother doesn't care about any babies. In this case she probably just wants to get rid of that baby and then go back to one of here lovers/sponsors - and probably it won't take long before she is pregnant again.

 

What to do?

 

P.S.: Please no funny comments. The situation is bad enough as it is. 

[Elkski]

What relationship is your GF?  Sounds like the girl looking for a taker.  Are there adoption agencies). Good luck with this curve ball. 

[bkk6060]

If she was dumping them on the street or putting them into dangerous situations, it could be child neglect or endangerment. As long as people keep taking the kids to family or others I do not believe there is a legal standing against her.

An adoption agency sounds like a possible option.

 

 

 

[FritsSikkink]

You call the girl and tell her that you don't want her kid I your house and that she needs to look for somebody else.

[tgw]

38 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I know most mothers, anywhere in the world, love their children and do everything for their children.

 

Unfortunately in the extended family of my Thai gf is a girl who had already three children from three Thai guys she doesn't care about. She dumped the children with her mother. And maybe, on a good day, she sends some money to her mother.

 

Now this girl, by now maybe 25 years old, is pregnant again. It seems the father is her Thai boyfriend. But since two months she is in Germany to marry a German guy. She has the baby already 6 month in her belly and now she just found out. And the German guy is smart enough to figure out that he is not the father.

 

It seems now she has this idea to return to Thailand and this time dump the baby with my Thai gf because it seems her mother told her she can't handle another baby.

My gf doesn't want the baby - but she is a caring person and if her relative would dump that baby then probably my gf would take care of the baby.

 

Now my question is: What is the legal situation here in Thailand with mother and child? What if the mother doesn't care about any babies. In this case she probably just wants to get rid of that baby and then go back to one of here lovers/sponsors - and probably it won't take long before she is pregnant again.

 

What to do?

 

P.S.: Please no funny comments. The situation is bad enough as it is. 

 

I guess the first question is whether your GF would be willing to risk jeopardizing her own farang for her to look after the kid of who seems to not even be a direct-line related reckless relative?

 

And what conclusion could be drawn from your GF accepting the child without your exprès and enthousiastic approval?

 

And how disruptive for your relationship would the presence of this child be? This depends mostly on your own lifestyle.

Edited January 18, 2021 by tgw

[86Tiger]

24 minutes ago, tgw said:

 

I guess the first question is whether your GF would be willing to risk jeopardizing her own farang for her to look after the kid of who seems to not even be a direct-line related reckless relative?

 

And what conclusion could be drawn from your GF accepting the child without your exprès and enthousiastic approval?

 

And how disruptive for your relationship would the presence of this child be? This depends mostly on your own lifestyle.

Yeah, guy.

 

You gotta draw the line here.  Unless you want to be the home for unwanted children for rest of your life.  This is a train looking for a wreck.

 

Truly a tragic situation when a mother dumps kid with whoever will feed it as a lifestyle.

[WineOh]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Now this girl, by now maybe 25 years old, is pregnant again.

what's her LINE ID mate? ???? 

[OneMoreFarang]

4 hours ago, Liverpoolfan said:

what's her LINE ID mate? ???? 

I give it to you if you promise me you will take care of all her children.

[richard_smith237]

Has this German guy posted in the ‘tales of woe’ thread yet ?? 
 

If this is a no goer for you, tell your GF this. 
No dressing this one up.
 

[OneMoreFarang]

5 hours ago, tgw said:

I guess the first question is whether your GF would be willing to risk jeopardizing her own farang for her to look after the kid of who seems to not even be a direct-line related reckless relative?

 

And what conclusion could be drawn from your GF accepting the child without your exprès and enthousiastic approval?

 

And how disruptive for your relationship would the presence of this child be? This depends mostly on your own lifestyle.

I won't accept that baby or any other baby in my apartment. My gf knows that.

But my gf visits regularly, maybe once a month, her relatives up country (about 200km away from Bangkok).

So maybe she will take care of the baby from time to time i.e. in the house of her father or sister. And that is ok for me if I don't have to pay the bill.

I am since many years together with my gf and I don't expect problems from her about this issue.

My idea here is to get an idea what to do if that bad mother shows up with the baby. As far as I am concerned she should take care of all her children. But it seems she is not bright enough to understand the connection between having sex, having babies, and taking care of those babies. 

If possible I also want to be able to understand possible legal issues for the bad mother. Maybe if there are legal consequences my gf can convince her to actually take care of her babies. That's my hope...

[spidermike007]

The parents of these women share some of the guilt in all of this. On the one hand it is nice that they have this kind of support. On the other hand, I know many Thai grandparents who are more or less forced into being martyrs, as they cannot and will not say no to the daughter. Granted, in the west it is the other extreme. Some balance is probably healthy. But martyrdom is not. If they really want to take care of the kids, it is ok for a short period of time. I am sure some grandparents love having the kids around. But, usually it is for an extended period, the kids have little supervision or discipline in their lives, and grandparents are not a substitute for a real parent. 

 

I have no idea about the legal issues here. My guess is that it is considered perfectly legal here, to dump your kids with your folks, as long as they are willing to tolerate it. 

[OneMoreFarang]

1 minute ago, spidermike007 said:

The parents of these women share some of the guilt in all of this. On the one hand it is nice that they have this kind of support. On the other hand, I know many Thai grandparents who are more or less forced into being martyrs, as they cannot and will not say no to the daughter. Granted, in the west it is the other extreme. Some balance is probably healthy. But martyrdom is not. If they really want to take care of the kids, it is ok for a short period of time. I am sure some grandparents love having the kids around. But, usually it is for an extended period, the kids have little supervision or discipline in their lives, and grandparents are not a substitute for a real parent. 

 

I have no idea about the legal issues here. My guess is that it is considered perfectly legal here, to dump your kids with your folks, as long as they are willing to tolerate it. 

I agree with you about her parents. But I also understand that the parents don't just tell her to f$*@ off and take her babies with her. It's difficult...

[Mavideol]

5 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I know most mothers, anywhere in the world, love their children and do everything for their children.

 

Unfortunately in the extended family of my Thai gf is a girl who had already three children from three Thai guys she doesn't care about. She dumped the children with her mother. And maybe, on a good day, she sends some money to her mother.

 

Now this girl, by now maybe 25 years old, is pregnant again. It seems the father is her Thai boyfriend. But since two months she is in Germany to marry a German guy. She has the baby already 6 month in her belly and now she just found out. And the German guy is smart enough to figure out that he is not the father.

 

It seems now she has this idea to return to Thailand and this time dump the baby with my Thai gf because it seems her mother told her she can't handle another baby.

My gf doesn't want the baby - but she is a caring person and if her relative would dump that baby then probably my gf would take care of the baby.

 

Now my question is: What is the legal situation here in Thailand with mother and child? What if the mother doesn't care about any babies. In this case she probably just wants to get rid of that baby and then go back to one of here lovers/sponsors - and probably it won't take long before she is pregnant again.

 

What to do?

 

P.S.: Please no funny comments. The situation is bad enough as it is. 

as a start maybe should start by teaching her about protective sex

[WineOh]

16 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I give it to you if you promise me you will take care of all her children.

I wont take care of any of her current kids but I will help her make another if that is what she wants ???? 

[OneMoreFarang]

2 minutes ago, Mavideol said:

as a start maybe should start by teaching her about protective sex

Sounds like a great idea. But somehow I doubt she will understand it after her 4th baby.

[xylophone]

6 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Unfortunately in the extended family of my Thai gf is a girl who had already three children from three Thai guys she doesn't care about. She dumped the children with her mother. And maybe, on a good day, she sends some money to her mother.

I sympathise with you, because a cousin of my ex-girlfriend has done exactly the same thing, only she has five children from three different fathers, and looks after none of them.

 

I really can't abide this sort of thing, and this very same girl is back working in the bars, despite having a boyfriend who is a complete loser and deals in drugs as well as takes them.

 

I suggested to my ex that somebody should have a very stern word with this cousin, but none of the family have the guts to do it.

 

Seems very commonplace in Thailand, unfortunately.

[1FinickyOne]

59 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

If possible I also want to be able to understand possible legal issues for the bad mother. Maybe if there are legal consequences my gf can convince her to actually take care of her babies. That's my hope...

That is probably not going to work... it is very common for family to take care of babies, especially in the family. We even have one that is not a direct family member, but of course, she is loved like all the other children... 

 

I ended up raising a niece that way... her mother is, as they say, mai tem nueng baht, not full one baht.. but she is doing great and in a good high school and I enjoy being her dad... great kid. 

 

In our family, child-rearing is a family experience... though probably everyone would be somewhat annoyed w/your wife's sister for being irresponsible.. 

[1FinickyOne]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

the parents don't just tell her to f$*@ off and take her babies with her. It's difficult...

because the innocent children, their flesh and blood, will suffer... and besides, one day they might help out on the farm...  

[ChrisvS]

On 1/18/2021 at 11:58 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

I know most mothers, anywhere in the world, love their children and do everything for their children.

 

Unfortunately in the extended family of my Thai gf is a girl who had already three children from three Thai guys she doesn't care about. She dumped the children with her mother. And maybe, on a good day, she sends some money to her mother.

 

Now this girl, by now maybe 25 years old, is pregnant again. It seems the father is her Thai boyfriend. But since two months she is in Germany to marry a German guy. She has the baby already 6 month in her belly and now she just found out. And the German guy is smart enough to figure out that he is not the father.

 

It seems now she has this idea to return to Thailand and this time dump the baby with my Thai gf because it seems her mother told her she can't handle another baby.

My gf doesn't want the baby - but she is a caring person and if her relative would dump that baby then probably my gf would take care of the baby.

 

Now my question is: What is the legal situation here in Thailand with mother and child? What if the mother doesn't care about any babies. In this case she probably just wants to get rid of that baby and then go back to one of here lovers/sponsors - and probably it won't take long before she is pregnant again.

 

What to do?

 

P.S.: Please no funny comments. The situation is bad enough as it is. 

Does this lady's choice have anything to do with the fact that your GF has a farang boyfriend - translated - millionaire? I do not know what to say however, you might need to have a long talk with your girlfriend, her Mother/family UNLESS you want this baby?

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, ChrisvS said:

Does this lady's choice have anything to do with the fact that your GF has a farang boyfriend - translated - millionaire? I do not know what to say however, you might need to have a long talk with your girlfriend, her Mother/family UNLESS you want this baby?

I don't think so.

This girl with her (until now) 3 babies thinks that my gf is stupid because she didn't marry a millionaire farang and because that farang (me) didn't build a big house for her.

The mother with all those kids thinks she is the smart one who has everything under control... 

[San888]

Very interesting topic. My ex gf told me it's part of the culture..to have a baby in the early teens. Mother encourage s it knowing they will give the girl a reason to leave home to make good money from falangs. The end result is the mama and family win with receiving  money every month and maybe Thai boy friend and  the girl wins,  good money, plenty of parties , plenty of good times with girlfriends.

 As for having this type of culture, my ex gf say that Thai boyfriend is important...cos no Thai boyfriend= no Thai baby = no more Thai girlfriends..

 

The moral of the culture is one of compromise!

 

 

 

 

 

 

[MaxiMaxi]

On 1/18/2021 at 11:58 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

I know most mothers, anywhere in the world, love their children and do everything for their children.

 

Unfortunately in the extended family of my Thai gf is a girl who had already three children from three Thai guys she doesn't care about. She dumped the children with her mother. And maybe, on a good day, she sends some money to her mother.

 

Now this girl, by now maybe 25 years old, is pregnant again. It seems the father is her Thai boyfriend. But since two months she is in Germany to marry a German guy. She has the baby already 6 month in her belly and now she just found out. And the German guy is smart enough to figure out that he is not the father.

 

It seems now she has this idea to return to Thailand and this time dump the baby with my Thai gf because it seems her mother told her she can't handle another baby.

My gf doesn't want the baby - but she is a caring person and if her relative would dump that baby then probably my gf would take care of the baby.

 

Now my question is: What is the legal situation here in Thailand with mother and child? What if the mother doesn't care about any babies. In this case she probably just wants to get rid of that baby and then go back to one of here lovers/sponsors - and probably it won't take long before she is pregnant again.

 

What to do?

 

P.S.: Please no funny comments. The situation is bad enough as it is. 

First that girl should take the pill, or put the spiral to stop pregnancy cause seems to have abundant ovulation.

Can ask police but chose the right one cause as said recently the Thai police chief: police representatives don't know the law.....

There are rules on civil code about children's rights that you can find in internet like here under or others:

https://www.siam-legal.com/thailand-law/rights-and-duties-of-a-parent-and-child-in-thailand/

[MikeyIdea]

On 1/18/2021 at 5:46 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

If possible I also want to be able to understand possible legal issues for the bad mother. Maybe if there are legal consequences my gf can convince her to actually take care of her babies. That's my hope...

LEGAL parents have the duty to care for their children. The duty for a father starts when he is a legal father (legitimization or marriage). 

 

It is considered normal to let grandparents take care of / be part of taking care of children in half the world, nothing strange with that. They of course have the right to refuse also here but that's a difficult one. Juvenile court would be happy to take a case but which grandmother would sue her own daughter?

Juveline Courts do really work pretty well here (Thai lawyers representing westerners generally don't but that is not the courts fault) but they don't offer much. Child support is 100-150 baht per day (per child). Forcing the mother to pay won't lead to anything useful. Forcing the father to pay is the same, same amount and he will get legal right to his child too.

This child will go to another relative, that's how they solve problems like this in Thailand

[Dart12]

this girl must snap back something good, having that many continuous suitors with that many kids already

[VickyR]

There is a foster home/orphanage in Chumphon in the Lamae district. It is called Baan Eurphon and can be found on facebook. It is behind the police station in Lamae. They are not govt run or controlled which is a good thing. I go there a lot and can tell you that any child would be lucky to be raised there.

Mom can come and go and visit, take the child for a few days and maintain contact if she wants. They don't recommend the disruption to the child's life but if she is in a better situation in a couple of years, since there is nothing legal, she can come and get the child.

 

[Dogmatix]

No Thai law to oblige mothers to rear their own children. Only laws against child abuse.  Given there is no meaningful welfare system and most Thai women need to work to support their babies, it is very common for them to be parked with grandparents or other relatives.  

 

Sounds like this woman will be coming back from Germany quite soon. 

[OneMoreFarang]

53 minutes ago, Dogmatix said:

No Thai law to oblige mothers to rear their own children. Only laws against child abuse.  Given there is no meaningful welfare system and most Thai women need to work to support their babies, it is very common for them to be parked with grandparents or other relatives.  

 

Sounds like this woman will be coming back from Germany quite soon. 

Thanks

 

She returned already to Thailand and it seems her new German husband wants to take care of the new child - at least that is what she told the family. Let's wait and see.

To be continued.