Sin sod query

[Clive]

Good afternoon.

Can you please offer some help. 

I'm going to be taking an early retirement and moving to Thailand later this year/ early next year (assuming coronavirus is behind us) and was wondering if sin sod is still widely practised and if so what price roughly would it be for a normal Thai girl

Having lived in Thailand about 15 years ago and had a horrible toxic relationship (not a bar girl) I would be very cautious about paying what I consider an outdated practice should I meet someone in the future. 

Thank you

[CharlieH]

The short answer is ZERO - Whatever the family feels they can get away with.

Personally I didnt and wouldnt pay a penny.

 

Each to their own and their individual relationship.

[Mister T]

If she is a virgin with a degree and full time job, pay what the family asks. If she has had kids pay nothing, if she has been married before pay nothing.

[Kwasaki]

1 hour ago, Clive said:

so what price roughly would it be for a normal Thai girl

Nowt.

Ya can't buy luv only trouble.

[Pilotman]

1 hour ago, Clive said:

Good afternoon.

Can you please offer some help. 

I'm going to be taking an early retirement and moving to Thailand later this year/ early next year (assuming coronavirus is behind us) and was wondering if sin sod is still widely practised and if so what price roughly would it be for a normal Thai girl

Having lived in Thailand about 15 years ago and had a horrible toxic relationship (not a bar girl) I would be very cautious about paying what I consider an outdated practice should I meet someone in the future. 

Thank you

How long is a piece of string. Too many variables to answer your question with any accuracy.  Too many questions: about the girl, her family situation, you, your finances, your relationship, her expectations, your expectations, your future plans'; . etc etc

[ThailandRyan]

The shortest answer one can give you is this "No".  Sinsod is outdated and is not part of your culture.  As an American Father my responsibility is to pay for my Daughters wedding when the time comes, and the young man is only responsible for taking care of my daughter and nothing more.  Completely backwards here.  If you buy vehicles buy them in your name, and for gods sake do not build a house near the family either.  Make sure you have a Plan B and a Plan C and never spend more than you can afford to walk away from.  Always have a fall back plan, and money for that unforeseen rainy day.

Edited February 14, 2021 by ThailandRyan

[Morch]

Just to give a less gloomy angle - sometimes the sinsod bit is for show (or good luck, tradition, whatever). The groom gives the agreed upon sinsod to bride's parents, who in turn give it back to the newlywed couple. Sure, there are also sinsod-goes-wrong stories involving greedy parents/family, but I think overall it's not that common to mess with wedding money etc.

 

Mrs. Morch's parents and family never brought it up before we got married. I think the above version was part of her two younger siblings' weddings, but more like in a tradition/fun kinda way.

 

As other said, depends on many things, and if you don't feel comfortable with it, just don't. It's not a must.

[Thaifish]

Zero... Make it straight in your relationship from the begining you pay zero otherwise sin sod will be just a deposit on what's left in your bank account.... It is no longer a norm... There will be pressure to "Show Face" and not only pay Sin Sot but buy Gold also.... Parents of the Thai female being wed should give 100% of Sin Sot back to husband as he is expected to pay for the wedding anyway... Your wedding your life your money...I hope it works for you... I learnt my lesson the hard way and got stung paying Sin Sod.....

[FritsSikkink]

Nothing

[kevvy]

Do not give a one single baht , why because down the track you will pay somehow ..

[Airalee]

4 hours ago, Clive said:

should I meet someone in the future. 

Aren’t you putting the cart before the horse here?

[TC17]

3 hours ago, ThailandRyan said:

The shortest answer one can give you is this "No".  Sinsod is outdated and is not part of your culture.  As an American Father my responsibility is to pay for my Daughters wedding when the time comes, and the young man is only responsible for taking care of my daughter and nothing more.  Completely backwards here.  If you buy vehicles buy them in your name, and for gods sake do not build a house near the family either.  Make sure you have a Plan B and a Plan C and never spend more than you can afford to walk away from.  Always have a fall back plan, and money for that unforeseen rainy day.

Sadly, this guy is dead on.   Stray from this advice and trouble will find you. 

[Pilotman]

13 hours ago, Morch said:

Just to give a less gloomy angle - sometimes the sinsod bit is for show (or good luck, tradition, whatever). The groom gives the agreed upon sinsod to bride's parents, who in turn give it back to the newlywed couple. Sure, there are also sinsod-goes-wrong stories involving greedy parents/family, but I think overall it's not that common to mess with wedding money etc.

 

Mrs. Morch's parents and family never brought it up before we got married. I think the above version was part of her two younger siblings' weddings, but more like in a tradition/fun kinda way.

 

As other said, depends on many things, and if you don't feel comfortable with it, just don't. It's not a must.

That is what happened when Mrs P and I married.  Her father took the sinsot and then returned it all, less a 10,000 Baht 'administration fee'. 

[473geo]

So no sinsod guys? Who paid for the wedding, or who do you expect to pay for wedding? Just wondering how low you are prepared to go ????

[ThailandRyan]

7 minutes ago, 473geo said:

So no sinsod guys? Who paid for the wedding, or who do you expect to pay for wedding? Just wondering how low you are prepared to go ????

Well when I married my now ex-wife in the Village at her home, I paid for the wedding itself.  The SinSod was zero, but to save face the Family wrapped the brand new Fortuner I had bought in a big red bow.  After the wedding all the money that had been given to my now ex-wife and myself during the tying ceremony portion was taken by the now ex-MIL and kept, it was around 100k baht.  So I guess the family got the sin sod after all, but not from me.  

[4MyEgo]

16 hours ago, Clive said:

Can you please offer some help. 

 

You certainly came to the wrong place to ask that question IMO.

 

There are a lot of cultures that believe in Sin Sot as known in Thai and by other names in other cultures.

 

At the end of the day it really depends on you and your bride to be.

 

My wife had two kids when I met her, I saw the parents had very little and I said to her after she accepted my offering to marry her, how much Sin Sot do you think is fair, that was a loaded question for me, and her reply was, oh, you know about Sin Sot and I said, from what I have read it is part of your culture.

 

She said, "up to you", so I said xyz and she said, "up to you" and then I said and xyz for the kids to be put into your account for their education, she looked at me dumbfounded as if to say that's more than the Sin Sot. I told her that the kids educations to me was more important than me giving her parents the money, she agreed excitedly and to this day well over a decade, she still has money left in her account for the kids educations, albeit it they will be finishing their education in a couple of years, i.e. unless they want to go further.

 

Two brother-in-laws, farangs, one still with his wife gave zero and the other a couple of hundred thousand, built her a house way to early in the relationship, and she now has a house and he is back in his country, he also contributes to their daughter education, via the funds coming to my account and me paying the private school.

 

So it basically all depends on whether you believe you should contribute to her parents, i.e. if they are well off, I wouldn't give them anything, perhaps paying for the wedding, if the parents are not well off, you can give them anything you feel is comfortable to you, e.g. 200,000 to 500,000 baht, but I would be asking your future bride to be what she thinks is a fair Sin Sot and if she goes for your jugular, then you know what your in for.

 

Just so you know most of the Sin Sot for the parents had strings attached to it, i.e. that I pay off their pick up so as to free them of their debt, and the remainder would be given to them in monthly instalments of 10,000 baht so that they had an income coming in for the remainder of the Sin Sot, they agreed and also understood that the other money was for the kids education, now if they didn't want to do things according to what I thought was best, then there was no Sin Sot, however they saw that the plan I had would get them out of debt and them having a monthly income for the balance of the Sin Sot, plus I told them that if they needed hospital care I would attend to that. They liked my plan, however asked the daughter to transfer the other money for the kids education into their account.....lol, nice try, to which she replied, sorry but I cannot take out the money without his signature and he won't go for it.

 

Invest only what your prepared to lose, or you can be called a cheap Charlie, "up to you".

 

Good luck.  

[Pilotman]

16 hours ago, ThailandRyan said:

The shortest answer one can give you is this "No".  Sinsod is outdated and is not part of your culture.  As an American Father my responsibility is to pay for my Daughters wedding when the time comes, and the young man is only responsible for taking care of my daughter and nothing more.  Completely backwards here.  If you buy vehicles buy them in your name, and for gods sake do not build a house near the family either.  Make sure you have a Plan B and a Plan C and never spend more than you can afford to walk away from.  Always have a fall back plan, and money for that unforeseen rainy day.

don't listen to this OP.  Its just the usual Thai culture bashing that is endemic on TVF,   born of ignorance  and western arrogance.  

[petermik]

I,ve been lucky with my 3 wives here...all were happy with 5 million baht each at the ceremony...after the first two passed away through food poisoning I managed to get most of my money back,my present wife however is proving a little more troublesome and refuses to eat what I cook for her...time for plan B...anyhow good luck to the OP and give your chosen lady everything you can afford,take no notice of the skinflints on here

[Pilotman]

1 minute ago, petermik said:

I,ve been lucky with my 3 wives here...all were happy with 5 million baht each at the ceremony...after the first two passed away through food poisoning I managed to get most of my money back,my present wife however is proving a little more troublesome and refuses to eat what I cook for her...time for plan B...anyhow good luck to the OP and give your chosen lady everything you can afford,take no notice of the skinflints on here

you need to try harder mate ????

[Pmbkk]

I never paid any Sin Sod.

 

My wife's a doctor, never married with no kids. I don't believe her parents were expecting one, the subject never came up.

 

We actually got married at the registry office in Bangkok - took about 30 mins in total.

We then went to the Oriental in BKK for 4 nights.

A week in Koh Samed at our favourite hotel.

Flew to Bali for 2 weeks, to a very nice hotel on the beach and then a gorgeous hotel inland.

 

Probably cost much more than the sin sod and the payment for a ceremony & we enjoyed it much, much more.

 

Never understood the need to spend huge amounts of cash on wedding ceremonies with all that stress.

 

BTW, her parents have never asked me for any money – maybe it was a marker ????

[Dagfinnur Traustason]

These guys realized this already 1964. After that they made a song and informed the world. You should listen to it!

 

[Clive]

17 hours ago, Airalee said:

Aren’t you putting the cart before the horse here?

No, not really. If I return to Thailand to live I'm going to be doing it with my eyes wide open

I'm the first to admit that I may be out of touch regarding certain things in Thailand but some things remsin the same like not buying property unless you are prepared to loose it etc. 

I hope this question does not come across as Thai bashing as it's not my intention. I have loved Thailand since I came here years ago but Thailand can also eat into your assets until you have none, but only if you allow it. 

Edited February 15, 2021 by Clive
Update

[DaLa]

Depends on 2 factors. Firstly your financial situation. Secondly the person you meet.  I have no children of my own and therefore had the resources to give sin sot.  My Thai wife comes from an educated family and used the funds as deposit on her own house and also to set up her own business.  That business has thrived through her hard work and I'm probably one of only a handful of men out here that don't pay her a monthly ' allowance '.

 

Final bonus is I live here rent free in her house.  I'm satisfied that the outcome was a sound investment on my behalf. 

[BritManToo]

22 hours ago, Clive said:

'm going to be taking an early retirement and moving to Thailand later this year/ early next year (assuming coronavirus is behind us) and was wondering if sin sod is still widely practised and if so what price roughly would it be for a normal Thai girl

Having lived in Thailand about 15 years ago and had a horrible toxic relationship (not a bar girl) I would be very cautious about paying what I consider an outdated practice should I meet someone in the future. 

Depends if you're buying a wife or marrying someone (your own age) for love.

Many of us old folk are essentially buying ourselves a younger woman.

At 54, I paid 100,000bht for a slightly used 32 year old, with good bodywork, easy to start.

The wedding was almost nothing, Amphur Office fee 30bht, 2 dresses for her 300bht, and dinner for two 100bht.

 

If you're retired (65?), and want a 65 year old woman, the sinsot would be ZERO.

If you're retired (65?), and want to marry a 20 year old virgin, it'd probably be 1,000,000bht or more.

Edited February 15, 2021 by BritManToo

[Airalee]

1 hour ago, Clive said:

No, not really. If I return to Thailand to live I'm going to be doing it with my eyes wide open

I'm the first to admit that I may be out of touch regarding certain things in Thailand but some things remsin the same like not buying property unless you are prepared to loose it etc. 

I hope this question does not come across as Thai bashing as it's not my intention. I have loved Thailand since I came here years ago but Thailand can also eat into your assets until you have none, but only if you allow it. 

Ummm....yeah....it is...really.

 

It’s one thing for a poster to come on and ask...

 

”my girlfriend and I are talking about marriage and the issue of sinsod came up.....”

 

whereas you seem to come across like...

 

 

 

Edited February 15, 2021 by Airalee

[janejira]

Yes- in all the Thai engagements I have been to in Bangkok (between Thais) there is a sin sot.

About half a million to a million Baht if in Bangkok? More if wealthy and a mix of cash and gold necklaces/bracelets.

 

My understanding is most, if not all the sin sot is usually somehow returned to the bride and groom after the wedding to start their lives together.

 

 

[alex8912]

Such a dynamic and original topic. It’s great that we have such good participation. I’d say pay what she asks for and if she says up to you pay 0.

[craigieboy1973]

Pay zero you will spend enough in the future and if family demand walk away

Stupid farang pay stupid money 

[OneMoreFarang]

On 2/14/2021 at 6:58 PM, Clive said:

a normal Thai girl

Something like this?

[OneMoreFarang]

14 hours ago, Clive said:

No, not really. If I return to Thailand to live I'm going to be doing it with my eyes wide open

I'm the first to admit that I may be out of touch regarding certain things in Thailand but some things remsin the same like not buying property unless you are prepared to loose it etc. 

I hope this question does not come across as Thai bashing as it's not my intention. I have loved Thailand since I came here years ago but Thailand can also eat into your assets until you have none, but only if you allow it. 

Why marry at all?

As far as I see it has only disadvantages for the guy who has likely more money than the girl.

If she loves you she will stay with you without marriage.

And if she doesn't love you I am sure you can work out a monthly salary.