2 minutes ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

Care to elaborate on the "looks after you" part?....reminded me of a 63 yr old brit in my thai apt bld that had his live in 30 yr old burmese gf..he built her a house in fang-bought her mbike--free room n board--phone--etc....they would constantly fight and she spoke minimal english but enough to say Chris have boom boom with other lady, whom was a old biddy with no teeth, he would take groceries to once a week..she would sit there and watch us if we went out to have a beer...

 

I would always ask him why pay for someone to nag u all the time and living in a studio together as well, and be living in LOS with tons of gals available...he said she cooked for him and washed him(like a baby?) and gave him sex.....I again said food is available easily 24/7 and even can be delivered, he could shower himself or get a soapie if that was his thrill and have a new gal nightly since he was paying anyway.....I just couldn't gt my head around this, however I could see this scenario from an much older male that simply needed someone around to assist, much like elderly being in nursing homes and such...he claimed he didnt want to be alone, but I reminded him that I never feel alone in LOS, even when you want to be as seems to me thais are always after me daily as I bike around town, every single day....

 

Im perfectly capable of taking care of myself and being self sufficient, until age takes that from me, so i still struggle with paying for "love" as the OP states, but some say you still pay indirectly one way or another......I just get wonder when a thai girls pours my drink or cuts my fingernails(blah)....like im a child or some sort of invalid

 

Some folks like Britman have no issue with it, nor do I for his choice in doing so, as it seems the culture in LOS..i'm just trying to learn what "Love" means to the thais....

As i have many times tried to get a thai lady to define what "take care" means...even though I know, im just after the answer she will give me...which is deflection..

Britman is just one of many with the same attitude. No problem he likes it and is satisfied. Its guys similar to Britman but who have the illusion that paying is love. Britman does not have that illusion. I doubt he would be cheated. He likes how he lives i respect that. At least he does not say all Thai woman are bad or can't love. Its just not what he is looking for.

17 hours ago, CharlieH said:

Their approach to relationships is certainly different and very succesful (mostly), just ask anyone whose married to one.

 

As for love, every human being is capable, with some it just needs nurturing more than others. Takes TWO to play and win at that game.

The wife + mia noi?

after 5 years in Thailand, the only love I have seen from a Thai woman, is the love for financial security and money.

i am yet to meet one that truly knows what love is

1 minute ago, nickmondo said:

after 5 years in Thailand, the only love I have seen from a Thai woman, is the love for financial security and money.

i am yet to meet one that truly knows what love is

Id advise you too look better, maybe a lil closer to your age less attractive that likes similar things to you. Don't flash money around to get her. That is if you want love not a sex partner (also perfectly acceptable)

16 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

Well, thats the dirty rotten truth about many Farang/Thai relationships.

 

It's not based on love, or indeed attraction but much more a financial transaction. In that toxic relationship the idea that 'love' comes in to the equation is nonsensical.

 

If anyone is delusional enough to believe that the 60 somethings farang and the 20/30 something Thai relationship is based on anything but money and not love, you need help!

 

Thats a brutal truth, which I know will <deleted> folks off and I expect the blowback, but truth hurts

In my younger days, in the town where I lived, there were probably 3 well known companies who the girls knew were the top paying of anyone, you became targets for them. I used to go to many sporting events around the country which were frequented by many older guys with young ladies on their arms. Just saying. ????????

 

 

 

1 minute ago, robblok said:

Id advise you too look better, maybe a lil closer to your age less attractive that likes similar things to you. Don't flash money around to get her. That is if you want love not a sex partner (also perfectly acceptable)

I would agree.

 

Look in the usual places.

 

Me and Mrs G met when we were working at the same company in Singapore, which I would hazard a guess is where a major percentage of relationships start

44 minutes ago, Locked in Oz said:

I like you are a romantic at heart and believe in the love.

 

Romantic, I have always wanted to try and understand what that is, is it a feeling of wanting to buy her flowers, jewellery or spoil her, if so, I'm glad I'm not a romantic, not knocking you, if that is what floats yours and her boat, then go for it, but for me, romance is Hollywood and that is where the problems start, because I am sure there are a lot of wanna be Princesses out there and once you start being romantic, therein lay the problem.

 

I prefer to treat em mean, keep em lean attitude, after all, she love me long time ????

 

A surprising number of Thai women who are highly paid or have their own business are interested in a relationship with a Western man because they feel they cannot trust that Thai men are not simply into them for the money. They seem to believe that we are less focused on money (than Thai men) and I suspect that is generally true.

I would qualify as rich but my partner is significantly richer, around 10x. Apart from vacations, we do not live a lavish lifestyle, practically everything is thrown back into our respective businesses (that's the dirty little secret of how you get rich ????) and, over the last few years, crypto. The main advantage of both of us having money is that it is removed as an issue. Neither of us has doubts about why we are together.

When I visit friends, I see that the issue of money often looms over their relationships. I can never understand why they choose to date girls who are inevitably going to be financially dependent upon them. Perfectly nice girls, but the unspoken reality of the situation is a terrible weight for any relationship to bear. I do not understand why more Westerners here don't aim for someone closer to their own position in life. There are an astonishing number of them available.

 

 

Delete

39 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

Me and Mrs G met when we were working at the same company in Singapore, which I would hazard a guess is where a major percentage of relationships start

Most us prefer to keep our jobs and not cause problems by banging co-workers.

It's been that way in the west for at least the past 20 years.

Sex + work = HIGH RISK

22 minutes ago, Poet said:

When I visit friends, I see that the issue of money often looms over their relationships. I can never understand why they choose to date girls who are inevitably going to be financially dependent upon them. Perfectly nice girls, but the unspoken reality of the situation is a terrible weight for any relationship to bear. I do not understand why more Westerners here don't aim for someone closer to their own position in life. There are an astonishing number of them available.

Good enough if you are an average guy, but I'm in the top 0.5% of the world and have only every met 4-5 people who could be considered my equal, 4 were guys, 1 was a girl. Which rather limits my choices, I sometimes wish I were as stupid as the rest of the world.

(the girl and I did sleep together for a while, but it was a constant battle for dominance, I didn't fancy any of the guys)

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Good enough if you are an average guy, but I'm in the top 0.5% of the world and have only every met 4-5 people who could be considered my equal, 4 were guys, 1 was a girl. Which rather limits my choices, I sometimes wish I were as stupid as the rest of the world.

(the girl and I did sleep together for a while, but it was a constant battle for dominance, I didn't fancy any of the guys)

They don't have to be as smart as you are but not too much dumber. I also have a high IQ and my GF too. Some things she knows better other things I know better. Having a high IQ does not mean you know everything.

 

Maybe you havent learned to play together well enough. You admitted it yourself your anti social. So for you this is the best solution girls have to do what you want or leave. 

 

But yes in my relation there is sometimes not a fight for dominance more a fight about who is right about stuff. If you hate that then don't get into a relation with a smart woman. I actually don't mind keeps me on my toes. I am not infallible and in some field she knows more in other fields i know more. Its complimenting each other in knowledge. Can be really nice but at times bad too.

 

Then social skills come into play. 

This is a good summary (especially paragraph 3) of how one Thai woman sees the problem of love/relationship. She is 35 years old and is looking for a farang 40+ (no upper age limit):

 

”I am romantic , sweet a woman who loves nature. I love to travel, cook, laugh, love to make life happy, if you choose me as your partner, you are guaranteed to be a person. The luckiest, and you have to support me. That is what I want. Then you will find that you will be happy as if you were in Heaven. Because I am a little angel , looking for a serious relationship, life is short, I don't have games to waste my time playing.

 

If you can support me You will be happy in every The moment the watch moves, I guarantee that I will be your princess every night of the sunrise. And it will be a candle light when the sun goes down. I don't deceive anyone or cheat .. I want to have the same happiness and stability as you. If you want to be My prince But if you think you can't support me Please do not disturb my life, I am telling the truth. I don't want young man not text me. . I don't like
 

Finally, here I am honest to say what I want and you like my attitude. Please don't reply. Because I let you think of the truth that No woman Don't need money, everyone is looking for a man here to want a better and secure future Have a better living It doesn't mean we're scammers or talking about money. Every woman needs a man to care and support. Financial matters. Because money is the main factor. If you can't support the woman you love. You definitely won't get a woman's heart. Love alone is inedible .. This is true.”

1 hour ago, nickmondo said:

i am yet to meet one that truly knows what love is

And could you apply that to the farang too? 

 

I have been here a long time and I find that the farang who respect their wives and the things important to them, like their families, tend to have good partnership type relationships

18 hours ago, ravip said:

Absolutely correct.

Thai people are also normal human beings with natural feelings. Any and all races have their bad eggs - none can claim they are 100% good, correct or honest.

When a relationship gets sour, both parties should take equal blame. Attracting partners with money and prosperity can easily end up in disaster and bitterness.

Unless you're an Arab. ????

1 hour ago, nickmondo said:

after 5 years in Thailand, the only love I have seen from a Thai woman, is the love for financial security and money.

i am yet to meet one that truly knows what love is

Love is many things I love to spend money too. ????

 

2 hours ago, robblok said:

If that is your definition of love then your set for life.

I certainly did not love my parents for money and the stuff they bought. Good to see you bring your kids up just to love you for money. I loved my parents when they brought me to the beach or forest. I loved my dad when we did things together.

 

I think you and I are fundamentally different but we knew that already. But just like you and i are total opposites its stupid to think all that woman / girls are the same.

You think it didn't cost your parents money to take you to the beach or the forest?

I do believe women can love a man when they are 15, but that ability to love has gone by the time they are 25.

2 hours ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

I would always ask him why pay for someone to nag u all the time and living in a studio together as well, and be living in LOS with tons of gals available...he said she cooked for him and washed him(like a baby?) and gave him sex.....I again said food is available easily 24/7 and even can be delivered, he could shower himself or get a soapie if that was his thrill and have a new gal nightly since he was paying anyway.....I just couldn't gt my head around this, however I could see this scenario from an much older male that simply needed someone around to assist, much like elderly being in nursing homes and such...he claimed he didnt want to be alone, but I reminded him that I never feel alone in LOS, even when you want to be as seems to me thais are always after me daily as I bike around town, every single day....

 

I'm a serial monogamist.

I like to have the same woman in my bed every night, she doesn't need to cook or clean for me.

But I do require that she makes breakfast and takes my 9 year old son to school in the morning as I'm too lazy to get up that early myself.

34 minutes ago, silver sea said:

She is 35 years old and is looking for a farang 40+ (no upper age limit):

I'd hire her.

41 minutes ago, robblok said:

But yes in my relation there is sometimes not a fight for dominance more a fight about who is right about stuff. If you hate that then don't get into a relation with a smart woman.

I'm always right, if I didn't know I was right I wouldn't express an opinion.

(dementia excluded of course)

12 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

You think it didn't cost your parents money to take you to the beach or the forest?

I do believe women can love a man when they are 15, but that ability to love has gone by the time they are 25.

I guess you really don't get it. Just chalk it down to a difference in upbringing and social skills.

 

No did not cost my parents money besides fuel. You don't seem to get that its not about money but about attention. No wonder you are who you are. A relation is about doing things together. Sometimes you do things you don't 100% like but know your partner likes.

 

That is where pre selection comes from to match likes. Then you don't have much of that situation. 

 

But your happy your way I am happy my way.

14 hours ago, TC17 said:

I have found the entry ticket to be transactional, either directly or embedded.  But once you get past that, Thai woman are the most loving, nurturing, encouraging,  passionate and erotic women I have ever known.  

 

Yes, I agree with this.

 

Try saying goodbye to a Thai woman who has really fallen in love with you!

Just now, robblok said:

A relation is about doing things together.

So how come all your relationships have failed?

How long is your current one ....... couple of years?

If you're doing it right, why don't they stay with you?

You're early 50s with no lasting relationships, epic fail or not?

5 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

So how come all your relationships have failed?

How long is your current one ....... couple of years?

If you're doing it right, why don't they stay with you?

You're early 50s with no lasting relationships, epic fail or not?

Why they have failed, 1 because she changed her mind about having kids. One because it just did not work went our sperate ways and are sill friends and in contact (i was the one that ended it)

 

If you are so smart you always say you are why did you get screwed over so much. Does not sound that smart. At least i avoided that. Maybe im smarter. (goes along the same line of questioning you did)

 

Epic fail is losing so much money as you did. 

 

I am quite ok that a relationship sometimes does not work out. Don't see that as a problem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

19 hours ago, ravip said:

Absolutely correct.

Thai people are also normal human beings with natural feelings. Any and all races have their bad eggs - none can claim they are 100% good, correct or honest.

When a relationship gets sour, both parties should take equal blame. Attracting partners with money and prosperity can easily end up in disaster and bitterness.

In relation to your last paragraph, are you suggesting that one should divest oneself of ones assets, money etc or hide them before entering into a relationship ?

My Thai wife didn’t know any of my worth until a year after we entered into a relationship and when she moved to Australia.

After fifteen years, our marriage is still strong and she has and continues to enjoy a good and happy lifestyle.

I compare this with my first marriage to a European, when I had little compared to what I have now, she left me after about six years with a young child to bring up and never contributed to his upbringing.

I know which situation I prefer.

The best thing I ever did was to marry and sign over all my assets  possessions to my Thai lady wife!

 

I am 76 years old, my Thai lady wife  is 54.

 

Its more than a  "Love" we share, much, much  more.

Its sensitive, its caring, its stimulating and never boring its the absence or need for any  words. 

 

We instantly know what is going on in the mind of each other.

 

Arguments and hot disputes are a daily occurrence always ending with a cuddle and a kiss with the customary "Good night" just before we turn over and go to sleep 

 

For those of you who  have never known "love"  please don't talk about it with such authority, its something like  electricity  because you don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist Ha ha ha 

 

To assume you understand how a successful marriage works suggests you have little idea of it or indeed  Life!

 

I have been married 3 times and believe that the finding of a soul mate is in essence  the equivalent of winning the lottery   

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

You think it didn't cost your parents money to take you to the beach or the forest?

sure it did but they made up for it in food as it took me a week to find my way back home... 

3 hours ago, robblok said:

I think its an attitude problem for many guys, they don't know how relationships work and think money is a fix it all. (wont deny you need money to live)

And for many of the ladies, it is a transactional relationship, which is fine too... 

19 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I experience the love of a woman every time I have a spare 1,500bht in my pocket.

 

No.. you experience their tolerance of you for a fee and for a limited time until you provide more money.

 

That’s is your world, your experience, what you have been exposed to over and over again, it does not project on to everyone else. Some may relate to your experiences, others do not.

 

 

 

19 hours ago, BritManToo said:

It doesn't matter how you experience love, but it's never free.

 

Again, further projection... It's never free for you - you pay with cash or food. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

21 hours ago, CharlieH said:

Their approach to relationships is certainly different and very succesful (mostly), just ask anyone whose married to one.

 

As for love, every human being is capable, with some it just needs nurturing more than others. Takes TWO to play and win at that game.

It has worked for me for 28 years, 21 years of being married to my Thai wife and 7 years of friendship before that.