how many betrayed you ?

[473geo]

53 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I think you know the answer to that.

People can promise to live together with someone for years and they can promise to have sex for years. But they can't realistically promise to love a person for any length of time. 

Speak for yourself ????

[ThailandRyan]

One to many.  Last one, now ex #2 and Thai, left me for a man who was actually a millionaire in the US.  Money means everything to her, so I cut the rope and let her swing over the rainbow.  In the end I only lost a little bit, but it was the betrayal that <deleted> me off at first.  As our daughter says, I am better off without her mother.....

[OneMoreFarang]

14 minutes ago, ThailandRyan said:

One to many.  Last one, now ex #2 and Thai, left me for a man who was actually a millionaire in the US.  Money means everything to her, so I cut the rope and let her swing over the rainbow.  In the end I only lost a little bit, but it was the betrayal that <deleted> me off at first.  As our daughter says, I am better off without her mother.....

Imagine she would have left you to be together with a poor guy. ???? 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 12/20/2021 at 6:30 PM, Hummin said:

Men fall for bad woman who treat them bad? 

 

I believe it is same way around, and no difference! 

 

A god girl is boring and no challenge, and same way around. Sometimes there have to enough energy to keep both parts on their toes to keep it interesting, but it doesn't really last in the long run, however can be exiting for awhile. 

 

Finely choosed a boring one, and life is good, but

I certainly didn't. I fell for a woman that I thought loved me and wanted to have sex with me, but she didn't and wouldn't after a couple of years.

[BritManToo]

23 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Imagine she would have left you to be together with a poor guy. ???? 

Now that isn't a realistic worry.

[Hummin]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I certainly didn't. I fell for a woman that I thought loved me and wanted to have sex with me, but she didn't and wouldn't after a couple of years.

Im sure you knew before you knew, but those who I am talking about, is very charming, is good in the bed, fantastic partners in the beginning, and giving you the extreme sensational feeling of being seen and understood. But how long was Adam in Paradise? ???? 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 12/20/2021 at 9:16 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

I think you know the answer to that.

People can promise to live together with someone for years and they can promise to have sex for years. But they can't realistically promise to love a person for any length of time. 

They never promised to have sex long time as I assumed that they would. Was I ever wrong on that!

I'm sure they'd have lived with me as long as it was on their terms, but eventually I realised better to lose everything than to live with such mercenary women.

[Hummin]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Now that isn't a realistic worry.

My gf left one who was less wealthy than me. (Maybe two or three, not sure really)  Should I feel guilty? 

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, Hummin said:

My gf left one who was less wealthy than me. (Maybe two or three, not sure really)  Should I feel guilty? 

Why should you feel guilty about normal female behaviour?

I wish mine would upgrade on me, I'd like to move a younger one in!

Edited December 21, 2021 by BritManToo

[OneMoreFarang]

3 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I'm sure they'd have lived with me as long as it was on their terms, but eventually I realised better to lose everything than to live with such mercenary women.

That reminds me of this wonderful insight:

A woman marries a guy and hopes she will change him. But he won't change.

A guy marries a girls and hopes she won't change. But she does.

 

Sorry, I don't know who said that first. 

[473geo]

4 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

That reminds me of this wonderful insight:

A woman marries a guy and hopes she will change him. But he won't change.

A guy marries a girls and hopes she won't change. But she does.

 

Sorry, I don't know who said that first. 

Any guy who doesn't need to change when he gets married has led a boring life!!

[Kenny202]

On 12/17/2021 at 3:18 PM, Orinoco said:

One, first one here, she married a Japanese guy, whilst i was away me mate told me,  silly tart brought photos into the bar

we drank in of the happy event. learning curve 101, 1997.

Funny enough, met her again 18 years latter,  back on the game

at a bar in soi 8 Pattaya. money gone, husband gone, house gone.

but great at playing cards, or maybe not.

TIT.

  

Isn't it funny how they all seem to end up right back where they started, penniless and living in a village, no matter what good fortune fell in their lap. Gambled the houses and cars and whatever else they managed to scam from some poor saps hard earned life savings. Easy come easy go. And still shamelessly going to the temple making merit, all the while believing they were entitled to all those millions of baht they never earned, living with a guy 12 months to a few years. And the hardest of it to listen to is how they never lucky lol 

[Kenny202]

On 12/21/2021 at 4:34 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

That reminds me of this wonderful insight:

A woman marries a guy and hopes she will change him. But he won't change.

A guy marries a girls and hopes she won't change. But she does.

 

Sorry, I don't know who said that first. 

That is so very true and a simple fact of life....

[Kenny202]

I was burnt badly by my first one here. Bargirl. Saw all the red lights, warning signs etc but just kept making excuses for behavior as cultural etc. Wanted it all to work out so badly and put so much of my life into it but she never lifted a finger to make the slightest effort. Had some of the happiest and worst times of my life with her but it was mostly a sham looking back. Long story short while I was back home selling up to come and live with me she was taking care of most of the young guys in the village, all the while monitoring my every move and accusing me of all sorts of infidelities. I stupidly thought there was none of that sort of stuff going on in a village haha. I have since come to learn the goings on in many villages would make Pattaya look tame. Lived in three villages now, and always a few women, usually ex workers rinsing some farang guy for all they can. As soon as they farang leaves and goes back to work the Thai BF or husband moves back in. The other villagers see no wrong in this either by the way. I asked a girl I was living with "don't these people think this is wrong"? No she geng! (smart). What if she was doing the same thing to a Thai guy? Ohhhhh nooo good. it was then i realized they see us as some sort of other alien being or maybe a refrigerator or something. Anyway, I stupidly pushed on with the first one for 5 years. She was never settled. Looking back there was obviously a drug or gambling problem I never knew about although I never saw evidence of it living with her. Was packing her bags every other week to leave though never did, The last time she actually did leave. She got about 2 hours away on a bus, called me and wanted to come back. I locked the gate and that was the end of her. Straight back to work in Pattaya. Left me with a beautiful little boy 3 months I have raised and adore but lost a house and a whole lot of emotional damage. 5 years on and she is still following me like a ghost. Her penniless in a village with HIV. There is some karma.  

 

I think the best relationships...here or back home are formed when young at school or in the workplace, and unfortunately here that excludes us. I know Thai guys here, middle class educated and they seem to have normal girls who contribute to the relationship as you would normally expect. I was talking to a Thai friend of mine about it and describing the sort of girls we tend to run into. The low hanging fruit. He was telling me Thai guys are well aware of these sort of girls and avoid them. Their mum also has quite a say in the sons choice of girl also even if he is only thinking with the little head. I was on the dating scene for quite a few years and went out with all classes....Doctors, nurses, government workers, village girls etc and all seemed to have some expectation of riches and Hollywood...... whilst bringing nothing to the table themselves, apart from a lot of baggage, family problems and debt. I asked a few in frustration what are you bringing to the relationship?...and the answer was always "you get my body" or "I live with you everyday". Often also a puzzled look on their face like they never even considered what they were giving, only what they are getting.

 

The ones I have met in the past and most of my friends here meet come into a relationship with only one thought. What they are getting and if they can get a better deal somewhere else. As a friend of mine calls them....vine swingers. Just leads to a bitter unsatisfactory relationship for both parties, both feeling like they were cheated on their expectations. As politically correct as you want to be, sex and money do seem to be intertwined here somehow. It is imbedded in their culture and I for one can't get my head around it. I heard someone complaining about Thai women, lazy...money hungry etc and another guy said you should be thankful for that as they would have nothing to do with us old buggers if they weren't that way....and there is a lot of truth to that. So I think for Thailand which has a hell of a lot going for it in some ways, is take all the good parts available and skim over the surface. Don't get too involved with them and that includes long term relationships. We just don't have anything in common with them, particularly if there is a huge age difference. the only relationships here I have seen work long term are where the guy is loaded and happy to pander to his wife and family's many whims and needs and keep paying the piper. More power to you if that is your thing but financially I can't afford to make any more mistakes. I will have a relationship here...and I think I am kind and considerate and generous to a point, but beyond that I don't make a door mat of myself anymore. I don't do temples, families, funerals etc anymore but my girl is more than welcome to.  

 

 

[BritManToo]

31 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

He was telling me Thai guys are well aware of these sort of girls and avoid them.

 

Just leads to a bitter unsatisfactory relationship for both parties, 

Odd, because I see lots of Thai guys playing the same game as us with nightmare women.

I've learned to expect nothing from a woman, and I usually get it.

But I always have a lot of fun and enjoy the relationships.

Edited December 24, 2021 by BritManToo

[thaibeachlovers]

44 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

I was burnt badly by my first one here. Bargirl. Saw all the red lights, warning signs etc but just kept making excuses for behavior as cultural etc. Wanted it all to work out so badly and put so much of my life into it but she never lifted a finger to make the slightest effort. Had some of the happiest and worst times of my life with her but it was mostly a sham looking back. Long story short while I was back home selling up to come and live with me she was taking care of most of the young guys in the village, all the while monitoring my every move and accusing me of all sorts of infidelities. I stupidly thought there was none of that sort of stuff going on in a village haha. I have since come to learn the goings on in many villages would make Pattaya look tame. Lived in three villages now, and always a few women, usually ex workers rinsing some farang guy for all they can. As soon as they farang leaves and goes back to work the Thai BF or husband moves back in. The other villagers see no wrong in this either by the way. I asked a girl I was living with "don't these people think this is wrong"? No she geng! (smart). What if she was doing the same thing to a Thai guy? Ohhhhh nooo good. it was then i realized they see us as some sort of other alien being or maybe a refrigerator or something. Anyway, I stupidly pushed on with the first one for 5 years. She was never settled. Looking back there was obviously a drug or gambling problem I never knew about although I never saw evidence of it living with her. Was packing her bags every other week to leave though never did, The last time she actually did leave. She got about 2 hours away on a bus, called me and wanted to come back. I locked the gate and that was the end of her. Straight back to work in Pattaya. Left me with a beautiful little boy 3 months I have raised and adore but lost a house and a whole lot of emotional damage. 5 years on and she is still following me like a ghost. Her penniless in a village with HIV. There is some karma.  

 

I think the best relationships...here or back home are formed when young at school or in the workplace, and unfortunately here that excludes us. I know Thai guys here, middle class educated and they seem to have normal girls who contribute to the relationship as you would normally expect. I was talking to a Thai friend of mine about it and describing the sort of girls we tend to run into. The low hanging fruit. He was telling me Thai guys are well aware of these sort of girls and avoid them. Their mum also has quite a say in the sons choice of girl also even if he is only thinking with the little head. I was on the dating scene for quite a few years and went out with all classes....Doctors, nurses, government workers, village girls etc and all seemed to have some expectation of riches and Hollywood...... whilst bringing nothing to the table themselves, apart from a lot of baggage, family problems and debt. I asked a few in frustration what are you bringing to the relationship?...and the answer was always "you get my body" or "I live with you everyday". Often also a puzzled look on their face like they never even considered what they were giving, only what they are getting.

 

The ones I have met in the past and most of my friends here meet come into a relationship with only one thought. What they are getting and if they can get a better deal somewhere else. As a friend of mine calls them....vine swingers. Just leads to a bitter unsatisfactory relationship for both parties, both feeling like they were cheated on their expectations. As politically correct as you want to be, sex and money do seem to be intertwined here somehow. It is imbedded in their culture and I for one can't get my head around it. I heard someone complaining about Thai women, lazy...money hungry etc and another guy said you should be thankful for that as they would have nothing to do with us old buggers if they weren't that way....and there is a lot of truth to that. So I think for Thailand which has a hell of a lot going for it in some ways, is take all the good parts available and skim over the surface. Don't get too involved with them and that includes long term relationships. We just don't have anything in common with them, particularly if there is a huge age difference. the only relationships here I have seen work long term are where the guy is loaded and happy to pander to his wife and family's many whims and needs and keep paying the piper. More power to you if that is your thing but financially I can't afford to make any more mistakes. I will have a relationship here...and I think I am kind and considerate and generous to a point, but beyond that I don't make a door mat of myself anymore. I don't do temples, families, funerals etc anymore but my girl is more than welcome to.  

 

 

For over a decade I rented and was very, very happy with Thailand. Then I wanted to retire in LOS and found one to marry. That was my big mistake. Now I don't have LOS or a woman.

Wish I'd discovered the divorce sub forum on TVF before I got married.

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

For over a decade I rented and was very, very happy with Thailand. Then I wanted to retire in LOS and found one to marry. That was my big mistake. Now I don't have LOS or a woman.

Wish I'd discovered the divorce sub forum on TVF before I got married.

It wasn't getting married that was the problem, it was giving her too much that was the problem.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

It wasn't getting married that was the problem, it was giving her too much that was the problem.

Disagree. IMO it was moving to the village. She changed there.

I wonder what would have happened if I'd refused to move there, but I know that's all water under the bridge.

She did try to get me to come back, but as that was after corona started I think it was probably because she couldn't get a job and had no money. The only good thing she did for me at the end was not demanding money to get divorced.

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Disagree. IMO it was moving to the village. She changed there.

I wonder what would have happened if I'd refused to move there, but I know that's all water under the bridge.

I realised the villages were places to avoid in my first 3 months here.

All the girls I've lived with wanted me to move to their village.

I just said NO.

Edited December 24, 2021 by BritManToo

[Kenny202]

14 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Disagree. IMO it was moving to the village. She changed there.

I wonder what would have happened if I'd refused to move there, but I know that's all water under the bridge.

She did try to get me to come back, but as that was after corona started I think it was probably because she couldn't get a job and had no money. The only good thing she did for me at the end was not demanding money to get divorced.

Yep, always advise guys not to move into her village unless you been here at least a few years, scope out what's going on, what her family is like. Most have a lot of past in their villages...old / current boyfriends they can run to at the drop of a hat, family walking in and out and "borrowing" what they please, gambling temptations. Recipe for disaster. Start off on neutral ground. I knew straight away there was something wrong. Just the way people seemed to be with her (didn't like her) and the blokes we kept bumping into at the markets etc, her eyes would immediately dart to the ground. Blokes following us around at events like lovesick puppies...who's that....oh cousin. Uhuh. Blokes sitting across the road from our house watching our every move. The thing I remember the most is me hanging out the washing out the front and them pi$$ing themselves laughing behind their hands. In hindsight was probably pretty funny me being the considerate husband while they were doing the business lol 

Edited December 24, 2021 by Kenny202

[seedy]

About all this "Betrayed" stuff ...

You betrayed yourself when you did not take adequate steps to protect yourself. Blame others all you want, circumstances all you want  - at the end of the day you have only yourself to blame.

[Kenny202]

39 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Odd, because I see lots of Thai guys playing the same game as us with nightmare women.

I've learned to expect nothing from a woman, and I usually get it.

But I always have a lot of fun and enjoy the relationships.

100% agree, they get done with Sinsod, get on the endless cycle of gimme gimme gimme. Psycho women they usually belt them, and as much as I hate to say it probably what many need, in fact crave. But they do understand them a lot better than we do and most with any sort of money or position will be very careful about who they choose. Not sure those options are available to us. A relationship or marriage with a farang in Thailand isn't considered an upgrade that's for sure. A village girl might be considered "lucky" for bragging rights as she is sure to receive riches beyond her wildest dreams but I doubt all things being equal your average Thai woman would prefer to be with a farang over a Thai man. They all have stories how they drunk, boxing etc but most seem to end up going back with a Thai. And also what you said is true. Have fun and enjoy the relationship for what it's worth. Don't expect a western style supportive loving relationship (if there is such a thing). I got mates here go on the dating sites and they are pretty much after one thing. And good luck to em but keep it real. I mean 65+ yo guys dating 20+ girls and always seem to get their feelings hurt when its clear the girl wants money or something more than their crusty old body from the relationship.

 

 Funny guy used to post on here all the time, very dry and blunt but always spot on. He told me early on about his relationship. I said OMG sounds like living with a rattle snake! He said that's exactly what its like. But I like sex in a small pretty package. I try to <deleted> her and she tries to <deleted> me, just in different ways lol  

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

will be very careful about who they choose. Not sure those options are available to us.

I like beautiful young slim mad women, and I get what I want every time.

Absolutely no interest in nice women.

 

Both the nice women and the mad women have betrayed me.

But the sex was always much better with the mad ones.

And now I've learned to betray as well, life and relationships are much more equal and enjoyable.

Edited December 24, 2021 by BritManToo

[2009]

Most locals here I find shifty and untrustworthy.

 

They have an eye for a good scam and know exactly how to skin a cat.

 

I think it just comes from growing up here, I think, particularly in lower society.

 

As far as being betrayed goes, well lies are just the norm here -- it's not even considered bad really.

 

[Hummin]

I have to chime in a counterweight point about moving to the village.

 

My first reaction was, no, never, it's not going to happen I am ever going to live "here" 

 

But on my second year now, and it have been the best thing I have ever done, and on my 5. Year with the girl. 

 

Now I can travel on holidays, and enjoy both worlds for what it is worth, and when boring one place get out of there. 

 

Have to say her family is great, and help us alot without asking for anything in return.

 

There is exemptions to what you hear and experience. 

 

And I can promise you, in my experience the same as Brit Man, the Thai guys are also taken for a ride same same falangs, and many many girls also suffers in relationships be it with falang or Thai. 

Edited December 24, 2021 by Hummin

[Kenny202]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Both the nice women and the mad women have betrayed me.

But the sex was always much better with the mad ones.

 

How true this is! Your replies to this post should be pinned......

[seedy]

3 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

 But I like sex in a small pretty package. I try to <deleted> her and she tries to <deleted> me, just in different ways lol  

Heard when I was very young - Be Sure the F'in you get is worth the F'in you take

[The Hammer2021]

On 12/17/2021 at 5:43 PM, BritManToo said:

That was when I was with the Thai lady/American Husband combo 2009.

But I doubt it's you as she ended up running him over with her car, then reporting him for overstay.

He was deported on crutches.

She ended up marrying a retired Brit policeman.

 

PS.

My Brit wife was the 'red pill' fantasy, young Christian virgin schoolteacher.

Didn't stop her cheating, or lying under oath in court, adultery, bearing false witness.

Guess the 10 commandments only apply to Christian men.

(Mine was a Methodist, not a Baptist)

 

 

Well at least you don't dwell on it and you're not bitter!

[sanuk711]

On 12/17/2021 at 4:13 PM, sipi said:

One. Dirty cheap smelly farang sl*t.

As long as your not bitter about it-----thats the main thing......................

[thaibeachlovers]

On 12/24/2021 at 4:00 PM, Kenny202 said:

Yep, always advise guys not to move into her village unless you been here at least a few years, scope out what's going on, what her family is like. Most have a lot of past in their villages...old / current boyfriends they can run to at the drop of a hat, family walking in and out and "borrowing" what they please, gambling temptations. Recipe for disaster. Start off on neutral ground. I knew straight away there was something wrong. Just the way people seemed to be with her (didn't like her) and the blokes we kept bumping into at the markets etc, her eyes would immediately dart to the ground. Blokes following us around at events like lovesick puppies...who's that....oh cousin. Uhuh. Blokes sitting across the road from our house watching our every move. The thing I remember the most is me hanging out the washing out the front and them pi$$ing themselves laughing behind their hands. In hindsight was probably pretty funny me being the considerate husband while they were doing the business lol 

My ex grew up away from the village ( her sister brought her up ) so I avoided all that, at least. However her mother hated me, probably because I didn't give them loadsacash like the farang that married her cousin.