I guess that a lot of people will have read the recent events in Kanchanaburi, where a German guy decided to burn his house down and hang himself.   Extensively reported in both local and national media, and the coverage (though inaccurately) by a Pattaya news source was published in the Central Thailand local forum.

 My own initial thoughts were 'wow, this is going to be red hot (sic) in the Asean Now forums, especially as the guy had spray painted on an external wall of his house "21 years cheating.............." etc.    This in reference to the length of his marriage to his wife with whom he had recently separated. 

 

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Moral of the story?  Never allow yourself to become attached to anything or anyone to the point where you can't freely walk away and never bat an eyelash over the 'loss'.

30 minutes ago, pagallim said:

My own initial thoughts were 'wow, this is going to be red hot (sic) in the Asean Now forums, especially as the guy had spray painted on an external wall of his house "21 years cheating.............." etc

Why would you think that the poor guy was obviously very distressed and suicidal.

Personally, I think it's tragic. Whilst relationship issues happen in all societies and walk of life, it must be particularly distressing to happen to you after many years and you thought you had built a life in a foreign land.

Couple that with later in life and all that that can imply, and for this poor chap, the betrayal and emotional devastation was just too much for him to continue.

 

 

 

5 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

Why would you think that the poor guy was obviously very distressed and suicidal.

Agree absolutely.   However, the nature of his demise, not least the message he left, are circumstances that usually elicit a multi page thread.   For clarity, he was 63, his wife is 60, married 21 years.

2 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Personally, I think it's tragic. Whilst relationship issues happen in all societies and walk of life, it must be particularly distressing to happen to you after many years and you thought you had built a life in a foreign land.

Couple that with later in life and all that that can imply, and for this poor chap, the betrayal and emotional devastation was just too much for him to continue.

 

 

 

After so many years it must have hurt the guy a lot. Sure many people responded to the article that he could just have new younger wife. But it does not work that way for everyone even if he had money emotionally it must have hurt him a lot. Not everyone has the ability to just move on especially after such a long time. 

I've never had a female "cheat" on me that I know of, that said, taking my own life and burning down the house would be the last thing on my mind to do, it's so destructive.

 

I suppose you would either accept it, question why it happened, accept the reasoning or move on, life is too short and to end it over a fling or two or three, tells me someone has got to have issues to go down that path.

 

RIP

5 minutes ago, robblok said:

emotionally it must have hurt him a lot

I would agree that emotionally it would hurt someone a lot, but not enough to end it all, I mean partners are people, they have needs and if they ventured out, then perhaps something was lacking in the relationship. I am no phycologist, but this things happen every day, no point in killing ones self and burning the house down, that is a loss for him and him alone, relationships can be good and can be bad or a mix of both, you have to handle things as they come your way and deal with them.

 

In my opinion, if your partner had sex with someone else, doesn't necessarily mean it's betrayal in my eyes, if all relationships are built on that, then Buddha helps those in troubled times.

7 minutes ago, pagallim said:

Agree absolutely.   However, the nature of his demise, not least the message he left, are circumstances that usually elicit a multi page thread.   For clarity, he was 63, his wife is 60, married 21 years.

Well whatever many marriages break up but not everyone chooses that way to check out. 

As said obviously took a toll that he couldn't cope with which made him suicidal.

The baconey wasn't high enough.

1 minute ago, 4MyEgo said:

I would agree that emotionally it would hurt someone a lot, but not enough to end it all, I mean partners are people, they have needs and if they ventured out, then perhaps something was lacking in the relationship. I am no phycologist, but this things happen every day, no point in killing ones self and burning the house down, that is a loss for him and him alone, relationships can be good and can be bad or a mix of both, you have to handle things as they come your way and deal with them.

 

In my opinion, if your partner had sex with someone else, doesn't necessarily mean it's betrayal in my eyes, if all relationships are built on that, then Buddha helps those in troubled times.

Look for some people things hurt more then for other people. Who knows there might have been financial problems too. But not everyone handles the end of a long relation. Some people are just different. Not saying this is normal but it varies a lot in how emotionally invested people are. 

 

Many guys don't seem to realize this and only think about the next younger model. IMHO that is how it works for some guys but not everyone. Still what he did was really extreme and there might be more behind it all. But we will never know. 

10 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

I've never had a female "cheat" on me that I know of, that said, taking my own life and burning down the house would be the last thing on my mind to do, it's so destructive.

 

I suppose you would either accept it, question why it happened, accept the reasoning or move on, life is too short and to end it over a fling or two or three, tells me someone has got to have issues to go down that path.

 

RIP

It sounds to me that the Thai lady had a Thai man on the side for all of the marriage, and she finally had enough baht to leave the Farang to go live with her Thai sweetheart.
 

For most of us, that would be a free divorce and an opportunity to score a younger lady. But maybe this fellow had too much invested in the marriage, including the house.

2 minutes ago, robblok said:

Look for some people things hurt more then for other people. Who knows there might have been financial problems too. But not everyone handles the end of a long relation. Some people are just different. Not saying this is normal but it varies a lot in how emotionally invested people are. 

 

Many guys don't seem to realize this and only think about the next younger model. IMHO that is how it works for some guys but not everyone. Still what he did was really extreme and there might be more behind it all. But we will never know. 

 

As you rightly say we will never know and can only speculate. But to discover that the past 21 years was a total sham and lie was just too much.

From my own experience of something very similar, you NEVER get over it, you just learn to live with it. Took me 10 years to enter another relationship of substance again.

1 minute ago, Danderman123 said:

It sounds to me that the Thai lady had a Thai man on the side for all of the marriage, and she finally had enough baht to leave the Farang to go live with her Thai sweetheart.
 

For most of us, that would be a free divorce and an opportunity to score a younger lady. But maybe this fellow had too much invested in the marriage, including the house.

An all too common story unfortunately, this is why you got to get back on the horse as soon as it knocks you to the ground, not burn the stables down and end it all.

5 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

 

As you rightly say we will never know and can only speculate. But to discover that the past 21 years was a total sham and lie was just too much.

From my own experience of something very similar, you NEVER get over it, you just learn to live with it. Took me 10 years to enter another relationship of substance again.

Meh.

 

i went with a Thai lady on and off for 4 years, until she found a better deal, a guy who only saw her during the day, so she could live with her Thai boyfriend at night. When she was with me, she didn’t have free time to see her Thai boyfriend, so he hooked up with another lady and had a kid. Meanwhile, my Thai lady friend was having a sad every day.

 

i was happy to see her go. 
 

The kicker is that she has a twin sister, who is with me at the moment, and, yes, the twin sister has a Thai boyfriend, but money talks. 
 

I learned long ago not to take any Thai lady seriously, as they will do anything to get baht to give to their Thai boyfriend. So, just enjoy the ride, it’s like being in Disneyland, but if you think Mickey Mouse really likes you, you have a problem.

13 minutes ago, Danderman123 said:

Meh.

 

i went with a Thai lady on and off for 4 years, until she found a better deal, a guy who only saw her during the day, so she could live with her Thai boyfriend at night. When she was with me, she didn’t have free time to see her Thai boyfriend, so he hooked up with another lady and had a kid. Meanwhile, my Thai lady friend was having a sad every day.

 

i was happy to see her go. 
 

The kicker is that she has a twin sister, who is with me at the moment, and, yes, the twin sister has a Thai boyfriend, but money talks. 
 

I learned long ago not to take any Thai lady seriously, as they will do anything to get baht to give to their Thai boyfriend. So, just enjoy the ride, it’s like being in Disneyland, but if you think Mickey Mouse really likes you, you have a problem.

Strange relationship IMHO. Never had a Thai GF that had a Thai BF on the side. I would just not accept that. But to each his or her own. I on the other hand would not play the field if I had a GF. So i expect the same. 

1 hour ago, Tippaporn said:

Moral of the story?  Never allow yourself to become attached to anything or anyone to the point where you can't freely walk away and never bat an eyelash over the 'loss'

Just as well that most of us don't have such a cowardly outlook otherwise the human race would be doomed.

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

I would agree that emotionally it would hurt someone a lot, but not enough to end it all

Except that, in this case, it did.

1 hour ago, robblok said:

Strange relationship IMHO. Never had a Thai GF that had a Thai BF on the side. I would just not accept that. But to each his or her own. I on the other hand would not play the field if I had a GF. So i expect the same. 

Translation: you never knew your Thai GF had a Thai BF on the side.

 

Oh, sorry, your Thai lady is different.

 

Here is the clue: unless your Thai lady is giving you money, you’re not the boyfriend.

54 minutes ago, Dmaxdan said:

Just as well that most of us don't have such a cowardly outlook otherwise the human race would be doomed.

I think the comment you responded to was about Thailand, not the world at large.

2 minutes ago, Danderman123 said:

Translation: you never knew your Thai GF had a Thai BF on the side.

 

Oh, sorry, your Thai lady is different.

 

Here is the clue: unless your Thai lady is giving you money, you’re not the boyfriend.

Your a funny guy yes Thai woman are  different and quite a few are loyal. Not all are how you describe many can attest to that.

 

Im happy to know that im the BF of my Singaporean GF given the fact that im living in the house her company rents for her at 100k a month without paying anything. She must love me a lot according to your reasoning. 

 

Here is a hint, not everyone is the same as you and there are plenty of ladies who are loyal. Depends on many things. Not in the least how you are and treat your woman. 

That German guy felt the same way about his Thai wife, until he didn’t.

6 minutes ago, robblok said:

 Depends on many things. Not in the least how you are and treat your woman. 

Farangs tend to think that Thai ladies like men with “a good heart”.

 

In my experience, Thai ladies think that Farangs with a good heart are suckers. Their Thai BFs often treat them like <deleted>, but they tolerate it.

3 minutes ago, Danderman123 said:

Farangs tend to think that Thai ladies like men with “a good heart”.

 

In my experience, Thai ladies think that Farangs with a good heart are suckers. Their Thai BFs often treat them like <deleted>, but they tolerate it.

I think we can expand on Thai ladies, all the women I have met, want a man, not one who wears his heart on his sleeve, you either treat them like they want to be treated, or you end up on the scrap heap, it ain't Hollywood out there, call me sexist, but I speak to women and know what women want, a hard, but fair guy, one who knows how to stand his ground and not let them walk all over him.

 

No doubt many will argue, but hey, each to their own Tiruk,

6 minutes ago, Danderman123 said:

Farangs tend to think that Thai ladies like men with “a good heart”.

 

In my experience, Thai ladies think that Farangs with a good heart are suckers. Their Thai BFs often treat them like <deleted>, but they tolerate it.

Good heart damm you been in Thailand too long. If that is what you think treating someone is about. Sorry i think i better give up your too set in your thinking. 

 

You think all guys who don't have your world view or associate with the kind of woman you do. Quite a closed mindset.

 

 

3 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

I think we can expand on Thai ladies, all the women I have met, want a man, not one who wears his heart on his sleeve, you either treat them like they want to be treated, or you end up on the scrap heap, it ain't Hollywood out there, call me sexist, but I speak to women and know what women want, a hard, but fair guy, one who knows how to stand his ground and not let them walk all over him.

 

No doubt many will argue, but hey, each to their own Tiruk,

Im not agreeing with all you said but letting a woman walk all over you is just stupid and asking for trouble. Just find out what they want and if its something you can agree with or not. If not look further its that simple. Everyone has different likes and dislikes just a matter of finding someone who suits you. I for one like a woman with a brain and relatively good English. 

 

Others don't need that we are all different and so are woman. Some will match others won't. 

Ultimately, its entirely down to the two people in the relationship and what works for them. Every relationship is unique, because the two individuals are just as unique in the mindset outlook attitude and so on.

There is no, and never will be a "one size fits all" where relationships are concerned.

A good relatiobship is what works for you, not what works fir other people.

Condolences to his family.

Most unfortunate he killed himself but setting the house on fire was a good thing to do in such a situation ( I can imagine he paid for it).

After the fire he should have moved on.

2 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

I've never had a female "cheat" on me that I know of, that said, taking my own life and burning down the house would be the last thing on my mind to do, it's so destructive.

 

I suppose you would either accept it, question why it happened, accept the reasoning or move on, life is too short and to end it over a fling or two or three, tells me someone has got to have issues to go down that path.

 

RIP

I think taking their  own life would be the last thing anyone would do

2 hours ago, robblok said:

Good heart damm you been in Thailand too long. If that is what you think treating someone is about. Sorry i think i better give up your too set in your thinking. 

 

You think all guys who don't have your world view or associate with the kind of woman you do. Quite a closed mindset.

 

 

I have seen too many Thai ladies describe a guy as having a good heart, and therefore not boyfriend material. Customer, yes.