How easy is it to fall in love, real love, over 50?

[OneMoreFarang]

It's up to you to allow yourself to fall in love.

There are lots of beautiful and very nice girls out there. And it is easy to fall in love with them. But then we should consider that for many of them it's their job to be nice. And they do a fantastic job.

 

Obviously it is not difficult to dismiss many of them because it becomes soon obvious that they are more interested in money than a relationship. But with some of them it still looks good, and it feels good. What then?

Darling I love you and all will be fine?

Or: I don't trust her, she only wants my money.

Both ways are open to you and all of us.

And maybe all will be fine, and maybe not. And in some cases it was never love from her but a longtime plan. But I am sure in many cases the girls also wanted a happy long term relationship. But it didn't work out. Maybe too many cultural differences, maybe different goals.

 

You can fall in love, and it can be like heaven. But it can also hurt, a lot. Are you willing to take the risk?

[BritManToo]

9 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

It's derided because prostitution is seen, from a Western perspective, as only benefitting the man and exploiting the woman, with the woman being forced into it by her circumstances.  (The real reason for the objection is likely that it gives men options and older/unattractive Western women don't like that.)  Obviously this isn't the case in Thailand typically, but people still try to argue it because it is so deeply rooted in their minds.

Disagree,

It's derided by women because it's lowering the value of their product (less than a house), and loosening their control over men.

It's derided by men because they are deluded into thinking it should be free.

[BritManToo]

4 hours ago, LaosLover said:

and most men want a nymphomaniac who they can bring home to mom,

Lived with one in Thailand for nearly a year, almost killed me, in the end I had to run away and hide.

One moved in with me while I was on holiday in the Philippines, that was really great.

I doubt many men would want (or endure) one for more than a week or two.

[thaibeachlovers]

17 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Lived with one in Thailand for nearly a year, almost killed me, in the end I had to run away and hide.

One moved in with me while I was on holiday in the Philippines, that was really great.

I doubt many men would want (or endure) one for more than a week or two.

I could live with one, for sure.

Never met one though, so IMO they are very rare.

[JimTripper]

It has nothing to do with age. If your having problems it's in your head.

[tonray]

2 hours ago, sipi said:

your Avon lady....

Is she hot ?

[BangkokReady]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

Disagree,

It's derided by women because it's lowering the value of their product (less than a house), and loosening their control over men.

It's derided by men because they are deluded into thinking it should be free.

I think both our explanations point to the fact that it gives men options that women would rather they did not have.

[sipi]

25 minutes ago, tonray said:

Is she hot ?

I meant to say the somtum lady.

Freudian slip.

[tonray]

3 minutes ago, sipi said:

I meant to say the somtum lady.

Freudian slip.

Yeah...here in Thailand it's the Amway Lady....ha ha ha ha

[Freddy42OZ]

I'm 55 this year and have been dating a 35 year old European woman for the past 15 months.  We will be moving in together soon and have discussed getting married maybe next year.   I'm sure that she really does love me and I know I love her.  

Before I met her I had almost given up on finding a life partner.  

Obviously I think that falling in love is possible after 50, because I've done it.

[Freddy42OZ]

On 3/23/2022 at 4:21 PM, BritManToo said:

Quite easy to have a loving relationship with a woman under the age of 20.

But by the time they've reached 25, for them, it's all become transactional.

 

 

Are your friendships transactional? 

I agree that a lot of relationships here are transactional and if that is what people want then that's fine.  But that doesn't mean all relationships everywhere are.

All of my western girlfriends were and mostly still are amazing friends who I also had sex with.  None of those relationships were transactional, they were friendships where both of us would have spent every minute of the day with each other, if we could have.  I never once felt that any girlfriend was with me for what she could get financially.  

[BritManToo]

20 minutes ago, Freddy42OZ said:

Obviously I think that falling in love is possible after 50, because I've done it.

We know men can fall in love at any age.

The problem is with the women ......................

 

PS. Get her to sign a prenup on your home and pension.

[Will B Good]

Far from convinced men are capable of love.....they just confuse varying degrees of lust for what they think is love.

[RichardColeman]

On 3/23/2022 at 8:27 PM, LaosLover said:

I kept a running total of women I saw on the street who were medium attractive, over 50, and possibly single (no ring). The 2-week total was 6 -and I'm pretty broad in my tastes.

I sort of play a game in my head when I go out with the wife shopping in Thailand, 'Ten Girls For My Harem'.  Usually full in 15 - 30 minutes and I am extremely picky.

 

Tired the same whilst staying in Blackpool UK for 22 months during covid. I also got to 6, and that was for the entire 22 months stay out walking 3-4 hours a day minimum.

 

My wife is nowhere near what I would say is 'my type' , but I'm used to her now and she's sort of grown on me ????

[BritManToo]

29 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

My wife is nowhere near what I would say is 'my type' , but I'm used to her now and she's sort of grown on me ????

Mine's grown (sideways) as well!

[CharlieH]

Relationships are individual to the people in them.There is no one size fits all. Mostly its just a bad habit, you have mutual needs and wants, and together you fulfill those needs and wants (mostly).When you cease to do so, thats when it comes apart. Love? nah, dont believe i, its just a behavioral habit ????

[peter zwart]

Love is something you feel when you are younger. Once you packed with life experience the pink cloud slowly disappears and love is changing into friendship and appriciation. Can you call that love? i do. It keeps it simple ????

[peter zwart]

We have all read countless posts from cynical older guys...............

Here on this forum???????

[Freddy42OZ]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

We know men can fall in love at any age.

The problem is with the women ......................

 

PS. Get her to sign a prenup on your home and pension.

 

I don't own a home, nor do I have a pension.  My GF knows that my total net worth (all money and investments) is less than 300k baht at the moment.  She isn't with my for my money that's for sure!

[LaosLover]

Since 85% of people have kids, late life love means dealing with those kids. That's almost always a negative -even if dollar-one doesn't have to come out of your pocket.

 

Many older women also get closer to their families and spirituality.

 

Absolutely no pay day for you there either. More stupid stuff you have to be polite about.

 

Here's a hilarious article about your pickings back home (bit of a long read).

 

https://www.salon.com/2013/03/31/my_year_on_match_com/

[Bruno123]

1 hour ago, Will B Good said:

Far from convinced men are capable of love.....they just confuse varying degrees of lust for what they think is love.

 

Wrong. Even my dog disagrees.

 

For me, it's as simple as loving the one you are with. But money does not enter the equation for me.. If a girl did not offer to pay for dinner by the third date, there would be no more dates. Most of my partners had more money than I. Especially when I was younger. Often they were good partners and I was not so good ???? Not cheating or anything like that; just young without any particular direction. Even when I tried to look for a girl of whom I could take care financially, they turned out to be from a wealthy and influential family. ???? 

 

I am always the one who slows things down. No rush to bed them. More interested in their character and how they behaved before I got myself involved intimately.

 

Now I'm a bit older, I'm even more careful about with whom I associate. The other sex are often in a rush to entangle me. But until I see the whole package and what they have to offer....

So I have no issues at all. I choose. If no good, I throw them back into the sea. Not a problem. I am not so desperate. I'd rather have good friendships than a bad relationship.

 

 

[rimmae2]

2 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

I sort of play a game in my head when I go out with the wife shopping in Thailand, 'Ten Girls For My Harem'.  Usually full in 15 - 30 minutes and I am extremely picky.

Shopping in Bangkok in the local market at lunchtime, an upscale mall or anything in between makes it difficult to keep cool. As is an evening walk in Benjakkiti Park especially at weekends.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, Bruno123 said:

If a girl did not offer to pay for dinner by the third date, there would be no more dates.

I have a similar rule ............

If a girl woman did not offer to have sex with me during the 1st date, there would be no more dates.

[billd766]

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

We know men can fall in love at any age.

The problem is with the women ......................

 

PS. Get her to sign a prenup on your home and pension.

Why would I need her to sign a prenup on my home and pension?

 

The only home I have is hers and when I die she gets a portion from 2 of my pensions to live on. After putting up with me for 29 years she deserves everything I can give her.

 

We have been married for 22 years and I knew her for 7 years before that.

 

We have a little thing between us called trust. I trust her and she trusts me. It is a funny old thing but it works for us. I works for most of my friends as well, some who have been married to their wives longer than I have been married to my wife.

[BritManToo]

15 minutes ago, billd766 said:

Why would I need her to sign a prenup on your home and pension?

I wasn't talking to you.

You aren't dating a western woman 20 years your junior.

Although to be fair the guy I did quote only specified 'European' so she might be from one of the odd countries with no welfare, where the single moms are as desperate as the Thai single moms.

 

Why Thai ladies marry white guys 20+ years older is easy to explain.

I know I've got one, her choices were limited to either a life of ease in my nice modern home, or scrabbling around trying to sell somtam on a market stall every day and living in a single room. 

 

Most women choose welfare over a man (assuming welfare is an available option).

[Bruno123]

25 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I have a similar rule ............

If a girl woman did not offer to have sex with me during the 1st date, there would be no more dates.

My friends had a similar attitude. So tended to have problematic relationships. I always made sure that the girl had my best interests at heart before getting involved. ???? 

 

My friends' attitudes were; "If it moves, **** it!" ????

[LaosLover]

....And here's a response-article from a simpy guy to the sex-hating 60 year old Guardianista woman's one:

 

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2013/4/7/1199903/-Anne-Lamott-Never-Asked-My-Opinion-About-Her-Love-Life-But-Then-Again-This-Post-Isn-t-for-Her

 

He's a terrible writer, but he does capture how even super-educated, affluent people can't find non-neurotic partners - a problem that particularly dogs super-educated, affluent people.

 

tldr: Even the most advantaged older guys in the west will find the juice is not worth the squeeze.

 

 

[JAS21]

Well, I fell in love and lust… with my wife some twenty years ago now. I still feel the same. The bedroom walk she does in her high heels still gets the same reaction from me ….

 

She is my best friend and I always consider her feelings in everything.
 

I feel that she is the same…….although since she has a grand daughter, could be on occasions that there might be just a little slippage…….

[Bruno123]

4 minutes ago, LaosLover said:

....And here's a response-article from a simpy guy to the sex-hating 60 year old Guardianista woman's one:

 

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2013/4/7/1199903/-Anne-Lamott-Never-Asked-My-Opinion-About-Her-Love-Life-But-Then-Again-This-Post-Isn-t-for-Her

 

He's a terrible writer, but he does capture how even super-educated, affluent people can't find non-neurotic partners - a problem that particularly dogs super-educated, affluent people.

 

tldr: Even the most advantaged older guys in the west will find the juice is not worth the squeeze.

 

 

I wouldn't do that to myself. Dating websites and applications would not do me justice. I prefer the hunt anyway. 

You don't need to find a non neurotic partner. You just need to find someone who can work with you. You likely aren't all there either. But if you can work together, that is good enough.

 

No one allows me to be alone long enough for me to have time to find someone new ???? I'm almost afraid of talking to women, lest they get ideas and I get myself into awkward situations.

[LaosLover]

In your pre-Asian life, such popularity was probably not the case. What has that done for your mental state on a daily basis?