Getting married, so much hassle.

[poppysdad]

I’m beginning to regret ever thinking about marrying my Thai lady. Firstly because she laminated her Aussie husbands death certificate the MFA don’t want to know, Australian embassy don’t appear to want to know although I’ve managed to get an appointment for her at the end of the month,  I’ve sent emails to Western Australian gov but only get a standard reply of applying online which if you are not Australian you come to a dead stop after a couple of pages and say contact us to go around in a complete circle.

 

We went to our local Tessaban who then threw another spanner in the works by stating that to get remarried she has to revert to her maiden name in the province where she was born. Wondering if this was just a local requirement she just telephoned her home province who confirm it is a national requirement so that means a 7 hour drive to do that and then my Thai lady is now wondering how that name change will/might  affect all her other legal documents for her land, her house, her farm, her shop etc etc which are all in her current name.

 

It simply seems a never ending saga, starting to get her down and she’s not sleeping, costs of travelling, copying, phone calls etc going up, getting stressful to me as well now. Is it all worth it. I don’t really know. Surely getting married must be far simpler than this and probably is for most people. The ironic thing is that all the legal requirements for me are done and dusted and all very easy. She being a Thai it seems a great many hurdles to overcome in her own country.

[howerde]

Can she not order another death certificate probably the only way around that issue,

[sungod]

Getting married is the easy bit, being married...........................................

[ubonjoe]

Moved to the Marriage and Divorce Forum.

[thaibeachlovers]

It's a sign that you shouldn't get married. I had a few "signs" before I married my Thai lady, and I wish I'd taken the hint and not got married.

If she loves you she'll live with you, and you can have a village wedding instead of the legal morass you want to enter.

[KhunLA]

Question is ... Why get married ?

 

Divorce rates prove, most, OK, half regret that decision.

I personally don't know anyone, who regretted, NOT getting married ????

 

DISCLAIMER:  Any marital or relationship advice I give, should possibly be ignored, since I'm on #4.

[RichardColeman]

If you don't intend to remove her from the country, can't you just get a band of  monks to marry you at the local temple.

 

I only married my wife - signed - as one day my intention is to resettle her to the UK later in life.

 

 

[poppysdad]

Howerde, that is what we are trying to do, the Bangkok embassy state you have to contact the Australian state where he died, all I get from (WA) is to apply online and then after 2 pages we get  to proving identity and all the options are all for Aussies and no other option which then says contact us to which they reply with the online one again. 

[scubascuba3]

Why bother, nothing in it for the guy, everything to lose

[petermik]

Just now, scubascuba3 said:

Why bother, nothing in it for the guy, everything to lose

He`s in lurve............

[SAFETY FIRST]

2 hours ago, KhunLA said:

Question is ... Why get married ?

I reckon alot of guys get married to get around visa issues. 

 

If you're under 50 years of age or you don't have enough money, 800k baht it's a cheaper option. 

 

 

[jts-khorat]

Quote

We went to our local Tessaban who then threw another spanner in the works by stating that to get remarried she has to revert to her maiden name in the province where she was born. Wondering if this was just a local requirement she just telephoned her home province who confirm it is a national requirement so that means a 7 hour drive to do that and then my Thai lady is now wondering how that name change will/might  affect all her other legal documents for her land, her house, her farm, her shop etc etc which are all in her current name.

I would imagine that it should not be difficult to research all the requirements for marrying online. Then you get the documents.

 

Expect this mainly to be a very, very time-consuming business. And yes, Thai bureaucracy has you (or rather your future wife) travelling to all kinds of places in person (home province, central Thai marriage register in BKK, etc).

 

Your own home country is obviously also putting up a few hurdles. But from all I hear, Australia's are pretty low compared to a lot of other places.

 

What I really do not understand is the level of annoyance you have because of those quite simple steps. Combine them with a nice trip with her to her home privince. Spend a few nights in Bangkok. If this is already too much, I can see things only getting a lot worse, as soon as the first inter-cultural communication issue pops up.

Edited April 5, 2022 by jts-khorat
typo

[overherebc]

Fly to Oz, get married there.

[poppysdad]

Finally getting some good progress. Despite the Australian embassy website saying that all enquiries re death, birth and marriage certificates has to be done through the relevant Australian states government website, I got an email from Bangkok embassy  saying that Bangkok can issue us with a certified copy of her death certificate and for that we now have an appointment for end of the month, that’s the earliest available slot. I assume then that we can get that translated into Thai and the MFA will happily apply their stamp to it. I’ve ordered her to go nowhere near a laminating machine now or ever again.
Now just need to arrange to get her married name returned to her maiden name. Will they give us any more hurdles to clamber over.

[bkk6060]

Getting divorced is even a bigger hassle.

Good luck to you, but if you are bothered and regretting it now much worse may be yet to come.

3 hours ago, poppysdad said:

I’m beginning to regret ever thinking about marrying my Thai lady.

 

[poppysdad]

Jts-Khorat 

where on earth do you get all your ideas from that I’m annoyed in any form whatsoever. I did find out what was needed  with a lot of it coming from helpful people on thaivisa. What I was not aware of until we got to Bangkok was that she had laminated her certificate hence the ensuing problems. I’ve done a lot of searching on websites to solve it from many angles and follow what I read which isn’t always correct. 
As for her needing to revert to her maiden name, she wasn’t aware of that, neither were around a dozen of my friends some with Thai partners aware of it either, so stop trying to read between the lines and make up your own version of peoples problems. I take these things in my stride and where you think it’s all too much for me, well it’s a good job for you that I don’t know you.

[soi3eddie]

3 hours ago, poppysdad said:

Firstly because she laminated her Aussie husbands death certificate the MFA don’t want to know,

I'm guessing the reason for laminating the certificates is to preserve them? (I have seen a couple of very tatty Thai birth certificates). My ex-wife laminated our son's Thai birth certificate when she received it in the UK. Went to the Amphur office in Thailand to add him to the Blue House Book and it was a real hassle. They made her peel off the rear lamination so they could put some stamps on it. Thankfully it didn't spoil the front and it was accepted.

 

[MajorTom]

DE-Lamination is possible. Requires some equipment and can be risky. But i assume the document is worthless as it is, so might be worth a try? Check Youtube for demonstrations.

 

[RafPinto]

Don't worry. Divorce should be much easier.

[RafPinto]

2 hours ago, petermik said:

He`s in lurve............

until.....

[Guderian]

3 hours ago, KhunLA said:

Question is ... Why get married ?

I'm with you on that point, but if you have a decent pension back home that your wife can get a useful percentage of after your death then surely it's worth doing? The company I worked for is quite flexible and doesn't insist on marriage, a civil partnership is good enough. But, of course, Thailand still doesn't legally recognise such things, so what can you do but get married? The GF and I are still happily unattached after almost 14 years, but the time must come when I either take the plunge or else leave her without a large, guaranteed, index-linked pension for the rest of her life. I'm putting it off for as long as I can in the hope that they'll eventually recognise civil partnerships, but even if they do you can bet it still won't be simple here.

[jts-khorat]

1 hour ago, poppysdad said:

Jts-Khorat 

where on earth do you get all your ideas from that I’m annoyed in any form whatsoever.

Maybe the thread header 'Getting married, so much hassle.' gave me an indication, while your first sentence gave an even stronger hint: 'I’m beginning to regret ever thinking about marrying'.

 

If those were not your true feelings, well then you must have been quite confused when writing your OP.

 

And what would it matter if you knew me??

Edited April 5, 2022 by jts-khorat

[poppysdad]

jts-khorat. Have you never written or said something simply out of frustration, I tend to read what people are trying to say rather than the literal content before jumping on to my keyboard with my own interpretation of their words. A fairly common practice on forums. 

As for what knowing you refers to it would be much more satisfying at least to me to argue with you rather than hiding behind the anonymity of a forum. 

[JAS21]

1 hour ago, poppysdad said:

Finally getting some good progress. Despite the Australian embassy website saying that all enquiries re death, birth and marriage certificates has to be done through the relevant Australian states government website, I got an email from Bangkok embassy  saying that Bangkok can issue us with a certified copy of her death certificate and for that we now have an appointment for end of the month, that’s the earliest available slot. I assume then that we can get that translated into Thai and the MFA will happily apply their stamp to it. I’ve ordered her to go nowhere near a laminating machine now or ever again.
Now just need to arrange to get her married name returned to her maiden name. Will they give us any more hurdles to clamber over.

Let’s hope not and that you have now got it sussed.

 

Nevermind what others say it is important to nearly every woman to be legally married.

 

Did it twenty years ago this year… never looked back.

 

Enjoy……

 

 

[4MyEgo]

1 hour ago, poppysdad said:

I take these things in my stride and where you think it’s all too much for me, well it’s a good job for you that I don’t know you.

From where I am also reading you have come across as being very frustrated and had doubts from the very beginning, now it appears your having a go at a member for their two bobs worth, perhaps you should tone it down a bit and provide an apology to the other poster, that said, until I see that, you won't be getting any assistance from me.

 

Not our fault things are the way things are and your intending wife isn't as organised as you are, our marriage was a breeze from both of our ends, she also being Thai and me being an Ozzie.

[RocketDog]

4 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

It's a sign that you shouldn't get married. I had a few "signs" before I married my Thai lady, and I wish I'd taken the hint and not got married.

If she loves you she'll live with you, and you can have a village wedding instead of the legal morass you want to enter.

I got those signs, ignored them and got married to an American woman anyway. Ten years and a costly divorce later it was do obvious I should have followed my instincts.

[CharlieH]

Hate to be the bearer of more hassle BUT consider this, if she is changing her name, whether it be back to her original maiden name, or to your name after marriage,then EVERYTHING  of any legal standing should also be changed. So, be prepared for that task too.

 

ID, Tabien Baan, Passport, Bank accounts, Business details, driving licence, motorcycle licence, etc etc.

[SAFETY FIRST]

7 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Hate to be the bearer of more hassle BUT consider this, if she is changing her name, whether it be back to her original maiden name, or to your name after marriage,then EVERYTHING  of any legal standing should also be changed. So, be prepared for that task too.

 

ID, Tabien Baan, Passport, Bank accounts, Business details, driving licence, motorcycle licence, etc etc.

Yes, good point. 

 

My Mrs decided to change her first name saying her new name was lucky. 

 

Not only the issues above, also my employer provided family health care benefits, pension benefits, all had to change to her new lucky name. 

 

 

[mikosan]

1 hour ago, Guderian said:

I'm with you on that point, but if you have a decent pension back home that your wife can get a useful percentage of after your death then surely it's worth doing? The company I worked for is quite flexible and doesn't insist on marriage, a civil partnership is good enough. But, of course, Thailand still doesn't legally recognise such things, so what can you do but get married? The GF and I are still happily unattached after almost 14 years, but the time must come when I either take the plunge or else leave her without a large, guaranteed, index-linked pension for the rest of her life. I'm putting it off for as long as I can in the hope that they'll eventually recognise civil partnerships, but even if they do you can bet it still won't be simple here.

I'm in a similar position, but my pension states that I must be legally married to pass on a percentage to my 'wife'.  Putting if off is all well and good, but if I die in the process then she'll get nothing.  A difficult situation.

[JustAnotherFarang]

14 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Yes, good point. 

 

My Mrs decided to change her first name saying her new name was lucky. 

 

Not only the issues above, also my employer provided family health care benefits, pension benefits, all had to change to her new lucky name. 

 

 

caveat emptor.......my missus did the same, changed her name because her mum said it was lucky but it was all a lie, she was trying to avoid any prosecution for past financial misdeeds.  Once I found out she was being dishonest with me as well she did a runner.  A leopard can change its name but it never changes its spots