I think I got scammed by a girl from a dating website!

[1FinickyOne]

5 hours ago, nchuckle said:

"Expensive" ..? I bet it WAS in the end! ????

It's not over but we have both done very well... 

[1FinickyOne]

4 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

Exactly, the friend gets a free lunch etc they are scamming some guys

Haven't you ever been generous?

 

When i was younger my father would always treat my friends to meals out if they wanted to come... 

 

I find it a pleasure to do the same... 

[Kalasin Jo]

12 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

That depends om the friend...

 

And that is the problem!  Although that has never happened to me. But when I first came to Thailand and met the lady who subsequently became my wife she would often take me to restaurants and other night time venues she knew where " sisters" and / or " brothers " or simply " my friend" would appear, all very nice and polite, and at the end I would be presented with the bill for all at which point  the said "sisters, brothers and friends"  would say " sorry, no money" and fade in to the night sharpish. I soon wised up to that and would clearly set a budget and that I would only pay for drinks and food items that I had specifically agreed to before ordering and get her to explain this to them. This soon stopped happening.

[scubascuba3]

39 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

Haven't you ever been generous?

 

When i was younger my father would always treat my friends to meals out if they wanted to come... 

 

I find it a pleasure to do the same... 

taking someone or a group of people out for a meal etc is fine, it's the blatant freeloading Thai girls can do, taking advantage of vulnerable men

[wombat]

I got as far as 3000 baht to a greasey spoon...tried to read the rest and it just screamed troll.

[OneMoreFarang]

43 minutes ago, Kalasin Jo said:

And that is the problem!  Although that has never happened to me. But when I first came to Thailand and met the lady who subsequently became my wife she would often take me to restaurants and other night time venues she knew where " sisters" and / or " brothers " or simply " my friend" would appear, all very nice and polite, and at the end I would be presented with the bill for all at which point  the said "sisters, brothers and friends"  would say " sorry, no money" and fade in to the night sharpish. I soon wised up to that and would clearly set a budget and that I would only pay for drinks and food items that I had specifically agreed to before ordering and get her to explain this to them. This soon stopped happening.

I wonder how that works with Thai guys.

I wouldn't be surprised if many Thai guys would love to show that they are able and willing to also invite her friends. Like: No problem, I can afford that.

 

I think sometimes the line is not so clear between what is polite and what is too much.

And in some cases, when we think about a permanent relationship, then maybe we are happy for opportunities to give her friends a chance to confirm that she met Mr. Right. 

 

[Pink Mist]

Troll post removed 

[chalawaan]

16 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

You have to be skeptical on those dates, i had one where she brought a friend, too many suckers out there who just pay for anything. The 3k invite should have been a big no thanks 

I had one where she at least texted if the friend could join us, I was already there, at a bar I love, she was running late, I said no, deleted her totally, paid for my drink and went to my next favourite bar where I picked up! 

 

Another one agreed to lunch, I was supposed to meet her at a BTS, she was early, said she was at a restaurant nearby, fair enough, I get there, it's an expensive farang joint, she's already ordered a drink and starter! 

 

I sat down, just to clarify what was going on, quickly it transpired she just felt entitled to do this in the expectation I would be paying for a stranger in a place I had not chosen, and did not like, and I'm not cheap. 

 

I just stood up and said, bye! 

 

And deleted her butt too!  

[Hanuman2547]

Yes, you definitely got scammed.  She was setting you up to get even more baht out of you as well.  Good thing that you gave the Issan restaurant a miss.  

[PremiumLane]

You learnt your lesson, it was only 3K, and we all screw up sometimes - even the old fudders on here

[bignok]

17 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

You have to be skeptical on those dates, i had one where she brought a friend, too many suckers out there who just pay for anything. The 3k invite should have been a big no thanks 

Easy tell the friend you only have 200 baht for dinner total. She can just eat rice.

[chalawaan]

14 hours ago, Hummin said:

so she went to your hotel first night with her friend to? 

 

8k is a nice evening at Goji Kitchen and bar at Marriot hotel for two persons. I never spent so much money in the beginning with my wife! 

 

Next time you know you are taken for a ride, normal girls is ok with a bbq restaurant, and even she brings her friend or two with her, it will never end up more than 1500,- baht. 

No friends on the first date, no exceptions, it's perverse at best!

 

I'll meet her mates IF we become an item, not before. 

[The Theory]

I always met ladies who agreed to meet me at coffee shops. No lunch, no dinner, no bars. Those who were real accepted the offer, hunters refused. I never rushed, that could cause problems. I do the same even now, after years and I'm not young as I used to be. 

[Hummin]

5 hours ago, chalawaan said:

No friends on the first date, no exceptions, it's perverse at best!

 

I'll meet her mates IF we become an item, not before. 

Only pros and experienced city girls do that, the rest follow their culture bringing a friend as "safety"

[scubascuba3]

7 hours ago, chalawaan said:

I had one where she at least texted if the friend could join us, I was already there, at a bar I love, she was running late, I said no, deleted her totally, paid for my drink and went to my next favourite bar where I picked up! 

 

Another one agreed to lunch, I was supposed to meet her at a BTS, she was early, said she was at a restaurant nearby, fair enough, I get there, it's an expensive farang joint, she's already ordered a drink and starter! 

 

I sat down, just to clarify what was going on, quickly it transpired she just felt entitled to do this in the expectation I would be paying for a stranger in a place I had not chosen, and did not like, and I'm not cheap. 

 

I just stood up and said, bye! 

 

And deleted her butt too!  

Brilliant! that's exactly the potential problem

[blackshadow]

one born every minute ?????!!!!!

[kaleyho]

Thank you all for your feedback.  It was worth more than  3K Baht. Just one TSLA option paid it off in a min.

Yes, I am too naive and I did learn a lesson.

Have a good day.

Edited June 23, 2023 by kaleyho
correction on sentence

[Kalasin Jo]

On 6/19/2023 at 12:56 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

I wonder how that works with Thai guys.

I wouldn't be surprised if many Thai guys would love to show that they are able and willing to also invite her friends. Like: No problem, I can afford that.

 

I think sometimes the line is not so clear between what is polite and what is too much.

And in some cases, when we think about a permanent relationship, then maybe we are happy for opportunities to give her friends a chance to confirm that she met Mr. Right. 

 

Yes I agree, like farang 2 week millionaires, flash the cash and get kudos just as happens in the West. The fair weather "friends" who won't ever lift a finger to return the generosity but I've never seen a Thai guy with lots of pretties that they haven't brought with them at the level of venue I go to and the level of Thai society my wife is in. And yes with close family and friends I now know well I do invite along and pay for them, but the pre set budget still applies.

I was moved by the now ex boyfriend of wife's young sister, who never seemed to hold down a job for more than a week or two even though a skilled electrician so was always broke, when he insisted on taking me to a bar and paying. I had by then given and paid him for several jobs.