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Is it okay to lie to your partner of 5 years?


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9 minutes ago, zzaa09 said:

If one has trust and suspicion issues at every turn.....probably shouldn't be with anyone. 

This trait is on him, not on her. 

And.....I wouldn't want to make such deep personal situations or matters public. 

Don't know what the principle purpose of such OPs might be - unless they crave unwanted attention. 

Nonsense. She lied. That’s different from someone behaving normally and being treated unfairly. 

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54 minutes ago, stoner said:
1 hour ago, Isan Wanderer said:

we spent the last 2 years building Her dream home here in the rice fields. So the "chanod" (red bird document) is only under her name for now... 

 

Fixed that post for your now lol.

 

Don't want to be harsh ........but in reality yeah If shes not answering her phone and her location is iffy .......she probably cheating.  Gambling is less likely......can't she play those games on her phone or something?

 

I would seriously prepare for losing that house 

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My Mrs said if lady have gik, its time to leave!She also said I dont understand Thai ladies. They have nothing before , find falang , get money and be bad .

You better findout but dont get confrontational ! Its gonna be difficult and costly trying to recover what you put into the property!

imop Hope its a gambling issue and not a gik one those giks have been known to make matters worse !

Good luck

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A white lie now and again is hardly the end of the world, but this sort of thing is far from reasonable. She's obviously up to no good, whatever it is. I'd confront her by saying you know what she's been up to over there, and then see what she confesses too.

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11 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

It's a cultural difference. We Westerners are outraged when we are lied to, it's perfectly normal for Thais of all genders to lie in order to save face, or for other reasons.

Maybe she is caring for a family member with health issues, and does not want the OP to know.

Would you ditch a relationship because you were lied to? I would want facts before rushing to judgment.

I know her family members very well. Her grandmother has cancer and I visit her to the hospital regularly. I visit her nephews every week. I believe I'm well respected by her family.

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15 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Would you ditch a relationship because you were lied to? I would want facts before rushing to judgment.

It depends on those facts.

If the facts would be that my gf gambled away "my" house and now f#%$% with a loan shark so that he gives her more credit, then I am pretty sure I wouldn't want to know the details.

 

There is some truth to this:

 

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21 minutes ago, BE88 said:

She lies and he no longer has confidence, the ideal prerequisite for starting a breakup, but if you're not willing to leave her and lose your home then continue not to worry and live your life without getting too much trouble.

Then one day maybe you'd know the truth or maybe not, deep down what changes knowing it or not knowing it if you don't want to change your life.

I like this ????

Food for thought ????

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1 hour ago, Isan Wanderer said:

Regarding the land, I'm aware I have pretty much no rights to it but this is Thailand and I can afford a much more expensive lawyer than she can if it really comes down to that...

In the absence of his being able to effect a new land ownership law, regardless of his fees, what do you think he would be able to do with her property that you, presumably, gifted her?  Maybe you have some sort of legal contract with her regarding the purchase and ownership of the property, in which case you're laughing.

Edited by Liverpool Lou
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first things first.........

 

2 hours ago, Isan Wanderer said:

I bought the land for 500k two years ago and spent an extra 200-300k on home improvements. We've printed the usufruct but have yet to get it stamped at the Land Office. So the "chanod" (red bird document) is only under her name for now...

a great man once said

Quote

You Get Nothing! You Lose! Good Day, Sir!

 

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17 minutes ago, Isan Wanderer said:

Well those few years living here taught me that money talks in Thailand. This place is corrupt af at least compared to Western standards. Nobody cares whether my name is on the chanod as long as I can afford a more expensive lawyer than her. Spending 200k on a lawyer to save 1 million worth of property seems like a rational decision. I realize this is pretty <deleted> up and I truly hope I won't have to resort to that but I'm just planning exit strategies here...

Do you think you would ever be happy or able to live there next to her family even if you win the case?

They will make your life hell,if they let you live that is.

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41 minutes ago, Isan Wanderer said:

That's it riclag! You understand me. I need to know even if all outcomes are bad. This is driving crazy. I haven't been able to focus on work at all today.

I have been down this road before

mate! 

Be careful and don’t get confrontational! I know it’s easier said than done!
Once you find the cause of her behavior you’ll be in a better position mentally to decide your next course of action.

Cheers and good luck

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