Being a loner in retirement

[georgegeorgia]

I was really getting into following a 65yo guy on YouTube who had recently retired to a small rented bungalow in Turtle Beach which is on a beach highway north of  Phuket 

 

He lived by himself in this secluded area vlogging on the beach opposite and doing his daily art .

 

He would vlog saying he was happy by himself blah blah , didn't need company not even a dog blah blah,and went into Phuket once a month etc.

 

Well I was proud of him and subscribed only to hear him in his latest vlog say that he paid a "cleaner " 200 baht a day to come in 3 times a week to clean up and chat to him for 4 hours  , I was disappointed,I thought he was sitting independently type 

 

Nope seems he needs to pay for a chat 

 

He then went into say that absolutely no body ...no one can be by themselves constantly

 

Is that true with you

Who here lives by themselves 

[scubascuba3]

It's not healthy to be by yourself day in day out, people need social interaction (on here doesn't count), sooner people realise that the better

[SuperSaiyan]

Not living totally alone, but except for gym buddies and the monthly dinners with some friends, I am 90% of the time alone and love it. I remember my childhood sitting in my room an playing 12h straight with Lego, alone. Some people are just made for it. Well and I was married for 10 years and being alone feels like being released from a long prison term.

[scubascuba3]

1 minute ago, SuperSaiyan said:

Not living totally alone, but except for gym buddies and the monthly dinners with some friends, I am 90% of the time alone and love it. I remember my childhood sitting in my room an playing 12h straight with Lego, alone. Some people are just made for it. Well and I was married for 10 years and being alone feels like being released from a long prison term.

I've seen people who liked being alone, who became noticeably happier when they got into regular social interaction, i appreciate some won't find it easy

[SuperSaiyan]

Just now, scubascuba3 said:

I've seen people who liked being alone, who became noticeably happier when they got into regular social interaction, i appreciate some won't find it easy

They probably enjoy both? Happier as in smile? In social settings everybody is behaving differently than while being alone. It doesn't mean people can't be happy if they are alone just because they don't show the same expressions you observe while they are in company of others.

[Trippy]

After working with the public for 35 years, I'm very happy living alone.

But I do occasionally get together with friends.  

[georgegeorgia]

I guess this forum also helps those who live alone ????

[terryq]

13 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

I guess this forum also helps those who live alone ????

Certainly satisfies the laughter quotient.

[georgegeorgia]

25 minutes ago, Trippy said:

After working with the public for 35 years, I'm very happy living alone.

But I do occasionally get together with friends.  

Ex Police officer ????

[JimTripper]

i lived out in the desert for awhile and there were guys out there who lived there alone full time for years.

 

they were always weird though, like they were afraid of interacting with others. had "no trespassing" signs all around usually, even in an isolated area. they could be seen in town occasionally going for food and supplies. often they would not give eye contact or respond when the grocery clerk made a friendly comment, etc.

 

i'm not sure how happy they were because they stayed to themselves.

Edited October 8, 2023 by JimTripper

[Chris Daley]

I'm okay with a gf and the cats.  I see their family in small doses.  Like catching a flu and getting over it.

[OneMoreFarang]

Alone: not good

Alone and lots of "friends" on the internet: Maybe worse.

People communicated for millions of years face to face. That's what we are used to and what we "understand".

 

Looking at lots of young people today who sit on the same table, and everybody has their phone in front of their face, somehow that doesn't seem healthy. 

[SAFETY FIRST]

1 hour ago, georgegeorgia said:

Being a loner in retirement 

It must be tough for some.

I'm lucky, I've been working offshore on a rotation, got a big family and a few good friends, my children keep me busy on my time off. 

 

I see Dan about Thailand's vlogs, he's here with his wife and children but he's trying to get more foreigners living here.

I wish he'd stop, too many foreigners here now.

I'd like to know how many from the west, retire here and become lonely, it can be very unhealthy, sadly I reckon it can be fatal to for some. 

[Sticky Rice Balls]

1 hour ago, georgegeorgia said:

Who here lives by themselves 

Me....been going solo since 2008......and i dont vlog.......i dont need others to find joy in life.....

 

(waits for flaming)......sidenote the majority of posters here reminds me WHY Im alone.....

[Sticky Rice Balls]

56 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

i appreciate some won't find it easy

choices....thai translation   up to u

[Sticky Rice Balls]

10 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Looking at lots of young people today who sit on the same table, and everybody has their phone in front of their face, somehow that doesn't seem healthy

so which is better --phone addiction or being at peace with ones self......ie inner peace

[simon43]

Since divorcing my 3rd wife (for spending my hard-earned $ on a nice car for herself, rather than building material for our small hotel project that she had previously agreed), I have lived alone and could never contemplate shacking up with anyone in the future. No woman would willingly shack up with an old guy unless she was after something and I doubt that it's love.

 

But living alone doesn't make you lonely.  I tend to agree that living alone and without any social interaction, one could become somewhat eccentric.  Luckily for me, my parents were both eccentrics and I had good schooling in doing crazy things from my mad Thai ex-wife No. 2...

 

Social interaction is healthy and I obtain mine (currently) by attending Lao language lessons every weekday morning, then over to a local school to help the students practice/learn English.  My online teaching after lunch and in the evening is not 'in-person' interaction, but still counts for social interaction.

 

Finally, I obtain stressful interaction every evening by doing my shortwave ham radio hobby, where the ability to communicate with like-minded people across the globe in a relaxed manner is hampered by the inability of my DIY radio antennas to launch my puny radio signal into the ether! This hobby often frustrates me ????

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

16 minutes ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

so which is better --phone addiction or being at peace with ones self......ie inner peace

For me I am definitely happier with inner peace.

 

[xylophone]

1 hour ago, georgegeorgia said:

Who here lives by themselves 

That is something I have done for most of my life and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I did live with a lovely Thai lady and her young daughter here, and after five years we parted company, however I've unofficially adopted her daughter and have put her through high school and now University, so no regrets and benefiting from now having a lovely daughter.

I was always a bit of a loner, but was also considered the "life and soul of the party" although it may seem contradictory, because I can come to life in company if I want to.

Catching up with friends here occasionally is something I look forward to, but for no other reason than discussing sport, folks we know or the situation back in our home countries. After that I may not catch up with them for weeks on end, and that's fine by me.

Alone is good for me, and I'm never lonely. That's the way it is and that's the way I am.
 

[FlorC]

37 minutes ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

Me....been going solo since 2008......and i dont vlog.......i dont need others to find joy in life.....

 

(waits for flaming)......sidenote the majority of posters here reminds me WHY Im alone.....

Same here , since 2007.

I only want to be alone.

I don't know what lonelyness is .

[RichardColeman]

1 hour ago, georgegeorgia said:

He would vlog saying he was happy by himself blah blah , didn't need company not even a dog blah blah,and went into Phuket once a month etc.

Sorry but the guy will just end up a bad smell noticed by the neighbours. Happens all the time here. Growing up as an only child, I love my own company - though married quite happy now with a young daughter I would be totally ok with being on my own if it went bits up. However, I also recognise that having a partner to clean my bottom and wipe my dribble when I reach VERY old age is quite necessary ! I believe there are two stages in old age - retirement that you enjoy - say 50-80, and then retirement when you need that extra help in life - and if you do not plan for that later stage - you really do become a bad aroma ! I am not saying there are not healthy 80+ people, their old age just hits later

[SAFETY FIRST]

2 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

lived by himself in this secluded area

Why don't you go down to soi Buakhao 7am each morning, talk to some of the foreigners drinking beer in the bars, don't worry if you miss their early morning drink as they head back to their room drunk lunchtime but they'll be there again late afternoon, sat in the same spot getting drunk for a second time.

 

Poor guys, look lonely, killing themselves, it's very sad. ????

Edited October 8, 2023 by SAFETY FIRST

[scubascuba3]

3 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

I also recognise that having a partner to clean my bottom and wipe my dribble when I reach VERY old age is quite necessary !

the problem is the partner may not want to do it

[Celsius]

At least he's honest 

 

Subscribed.

[ArnieP]

1 hour ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

Me....been going solo since 2008......and i dont vlog.......i dont need others to find joy in life.....

 

(waits for flaming)......sidenote the majority of posters here reminds me WHY Im alone.....

I go along with that, being alone’s fine for me and I sadly have to agree about the majority of posters here.

[NextG]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Alone: not good

Alone and lots of "friends" on the internet: Maybe worse.

People communicated for millions of years face to face. That's what we are used to and what we "understand".

 

Looking at lots of young people today who sit on the same table, and everybody has their phone in front of their face, somehow that doesn't seem healthy. 

To be fair, there are a fair amount of ‘Boomers’ here who struggle with any kind of communication. Smartphone cannot be blamed for that. 
The good thing about forums such as these is that it brings some of these people out into the open, for better or for worse. 
 

[sidjameson]

2 hours ago, simon43 said:

Since divorcing my 3rd wife (for spending my hard-earned $ on a nice car for herself, rather than building material for our small hotel project that she had previously agreed), I have lived alone and could never contemplate shacking up with anyone in the future. No woman would willingly shack up with an old guy unless she was after something and I doubt that it's love.

 

But living alone doesn't make you lonely.  I tend to agree that living alone and without any social interaction, one could become somewhat eccentric.  Luckily for me, my parents were both eccentrics and I had good schooling in doing crazy things from my mad Thai ex-wife No. 2...

 

Social interaction is healthy and I obtain mine (currently) by attending Lao language lessons every weekday morning, then over to a local school to help the students practice/learn English.  My online teaching after lunch and in the evening is not 'in-person' interaction, but still counts for social interaction.

 

Finally, I obtain stressful interaction every evening by doing my shortwave ham radio hobby, where the ability to communicate with like-minded people across the globe in a relaxed manner is hampered by the inability of my DIY radio antennas to launch my puny radio signal into the ether! This hobby often frustrates me ????

 

 

Group Lao lessons in a school? 

Could you give more details pls.

[retarius]

I split with my first wife after nearly 20 years of marriage. I lived alone for the next 10 years or so, dating like a dog with two dicks (as they say). I loved living alone. When I put my keys down I could find them again, I lost nothing at all. But all good things come to an end and I met a girl here in the East (not in Thailand) and shacked up with her for my retirement. I don't think I could survive by myself now. I've no interest now in the type of friends who get pissed up every night. My hobbies are non mainstream, I don't ever watch TV it bores me to tears; I haven't watched a movie in years, they bore me to tears; I fish and I read lots of books (I was in Kindles top 3% of readers last year to my surprise) and I travel, with the wife. 

I have even stopped looking for other women and am happy with what I have, she's a happy woman and her happiness has infected me on a fundamental level. I love making her happy, and I dread her dying before me.

Edited October 8, 2023 by retarius

[KhunLA]

I've never had a problem being a 'loner' and actually prefer it.  

 

Even when in a relationship, I really don't socialize much with others.

 

Men seem to want to talk about their sexual conquest, drinking, cars/MCs, sports, all of which I have no interest in.

 

Women much more interesting, though prefer 1 on 1 conversations, and usually avoid social gathering.

[simon43]

1 hour ago, sidjameson said:

Group Lao lessons in a school? 

Could you give more details pls.

No, I have private Lao language lessons every weekday morning, (because I live in north Laos). After that I go and teach English to a class of students at the local school.