Not Liking Thai People

[rwill]

Seems like people like complaining about both Thais and the foreigners who live here.  Just like everywhere else in the world there are good and bad people.  I have great Thai friends and foreign ones too.

[fredwiggy]

10 hours ago, NorthernRyland said:

Lots of research on the heritability of IQ. I'm convinced it's at least 50% genetic and you can't educate yourself out of it. I know where my limits are and you can only get so far with the brain your parents gave you 🙂 

It's actually more than 50% in most studies and as much as 80%. IQ, meaning the intelligence quotient, will not usually change and is based on others of your age when tested. Your abilities can definitely change, if you are a reader (constant) and a person who challenges themselves all the time. This means scores can change as we age for some. Some research has shown that scores are not stable, and can change while still a teen. Brain damage can change an IQ, as well as emotional and physical abuse in childhood.

[Lacessit]

9 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

IQ is mostly genetic, as much as 80% in some studies, and more than 50% in all studies. Why you got ahead isn't all about intelligence but drive. People have proven time and again that want is sometimes better than have. Thais that have been outside Thailand are exactly the same as those that have stayed, besides the fact they have found a partner to get them out, so are lucky in that respect. Those who visit for reasons other than spouses are usually students, who still might not be any smarter than their peers at home but just had more money to travel with. Those, like my school owner friend here, who have been educated in America, have nothing but good to say about the education system there, as opposed to what's here.

We can agree to disagree on that point. As I said in another post, my parents wondered where I came from. I had read most of Charles Dickens' works before I was 10 yo.

Amusing Thais say the education system in America is so much better, Jeff Daniels does not agree with them. I guess that demonstrates how abysmal education in Thailand is.

 

 

[Expat68]

Probably yes. I am the opposite, prefer to mix with Thai than expats but maybe it is different where I live non touristy 

[rabas]

11 hours ago, NorthernRyland said:

I've gone on the record before but the average person I met in Colorado (where I'm from) and especially from the mid-west region and miles above any Asian in terms of friendliness. How often do you see a Thai person have a casual conversion with a stranger in public? They usually don't even say thank you to cashiers, something which would be considered extremely rude in America. I could go on and on about the ways Thais are not courteous to each other in public but I bet most of you already know this.

What you say is because you are culturally isolated here. I speak disarmingly fluent Thai and spend my time with my large Thai family and those I work with. What's more, my favorite activity is walking around goofing on total strangers, aka phoot len. I get about a 90% hit rate. 

 

But you bring up a good point. In Thailand (away from tourist areas) you often need to be the one to break the ice. This is backwards from your experience in Colorado where social banter can be a requirement and may not be an indicator of true friendliness. Said another way, there are different kinds of friendliness like New England versus the southern states. 

[Neeranam]

What's are you? 

If Pattaya, it's not Thailand. 

[Neeranam]

21 minutes ago, rabas said:

 

Thais are very compassionate to who they think are mentally unstable or simple. They're an old japanese man in my neighbourhood who wanders around talking to everyone. 

22 minutes ago, rabas said:

What you say is because you are culturally isolated here. I speak disarmingly fluent Thai and spend my time with my large Thai family and those I work with. What's more, my favorite activity is walking around goofing on total strangers, aka phoot len. I get about a 90% hit rate. 

 

But you bring up a good point. In Thailand (away from tourist areas) you often need to be the one to break the ice. This is backwards from your experience in Colorado where social banter can be a requirement and may not be an indicator of true friendliness. Said another way, there are different kinds of friendliness like New England versus the southern states. 

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[NorthernRyland]

1 hour ago, fredwiggy said:

Some research has shown that scores are not stable, and can change while still a teen.

It's like with any kind of growth. You can give a kid good diet and they'll reach their highest possible height or can you can starve them and they'll be shorter then they would be otherwise but they're never going to reach 9 foot with good diet alone. There's always an upper limit which is heritable.

 

This is the same as all species no? Doesn't matter how well you train your dog you can't teach them to speak. Likewise you can't take a person with 80 IQ (presuming good diet and environment etc..) and put them in the theoretically best school possible and expect them to get to 130 IQ. 

[NorthernRyland]

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

Amusing Thais say the education system in America is so much better, Jeff Daniels does not agree with them. I guess that demonstrates how abysmal education in Thailand is.

 

That's always makes me cringe too. Schools in America are pathetic in so many ways (I dropped out of HS at 17 it was so painful). All that matters are the kids really. I was raised in a university town with lots of government and research jobs so the kids I went to school with had higher than average intelligence as their parents where in these sectors. It made a huge difference in my life.

 

Now I imagine if I put my kids (don't have them though) in Thai school where I live now. The majority of the kids would be from parents who were working in farms or selling things by the side of the street and food stalls. 100% guaranteed they would come out lower IQ just from that alone. That's the real reason people put their kids into private schools, that is to have their kids socialize with kids from other families that could afford the school in the first place.

[NorthernRyland]

35 minutes ago, rabas said:

What you say is because you are culturally isolated here. I speak disarmingly fluent Thai and spend my time with my large Thai family and those I work with. What's more, my favorite activity is walking around goofing on total strangers, aka phoot len. I get about a 90% hit rate. 

 

No I'm really not. I speak Thai just fine these days and that's how I communicate with people here. I'm just telling you how I observe THEM to be, not even towards myself. Sure you can go out of your way to talk to them but that's not normal behavior and it makes people uncomfortable sometimes.

 

After I come back from the US I feel more outgoing but eventually I settle in the to the culture and that includes not making small talk with the 7-11 girls and random people selling food. Maybe I should do that more but I all I'm saying is it's not normal in their culture.

[sqwakvfr]

7 hours ago, BigStar said:

 

True of most of our culture-bound farang. 

 

 

I find exactly the same limitation among farang I have encountered.

 

But not only in Thailand but of course elsewhere, notably the USA. Over the last nearly 30 years, of all my friends and all the people I've met in the USA, not one has ever expressed the slightest interest in Thailand and asked me any questions about Thailand.

 

If a foreigner, for example, a Chinese (the only Chinese they've ever met) happens to be present in a group--a well-educated group--they'll make some perfunctory greeting and then wander off discussing among themselves the details of their mundane suburban lives==their home maintenance, lawns, cars, the sale at Costco, their kids' schooling, etc.

 

And we sometimes hear a silly whinge that bar girls can't discuss the important international issues of the day or other intelligent subjects. You'd then expect it of expats themselves, but no. Nothing about Wittgenstein or the Boxer Rebellion or the Muslim takeover of northern Britain. Expat blather is often just about footy, bars, women, impressive pub crawls and drinking bouts, the best bums and breasts of the women passing on the street, good places for fish 'n' chips, sex, laments over the difficulty of finding a favorite food, and the stupidity of Thais.

 

You want to relate to Thais well, then you have to stop feeling so superior and learn to have an interest in them as individuals and their culture here in their own country. Speaking basic Thai with good pronunciation and showing kindliness and good manners are keys. Talk about things they're interested in. Most obviously, their families. I always ask about parents, brothers, sisters, kids, etc. pretty early on. Thais are fun to joke around with, can be great characters, and they often have some interesting stories--sad stories among the lower classes. I'm often surprised at some of the things I hear.

 

Interacting with them is then like practicing a learned skill. I count it as a victory that I managed to get a smile out of the Mayor when I got my yellow book at Pattaya City Hall.

 

Part of the problem here is that so many can't relate because they can relate that well anywhere. They came over to Thailand for cheap beer & pussy and feel disaffected that they aren't loved and adored just for being their lovable, beer-bellied selves having fun and, as golden egg layers, keeping the entire Thai economy afloat.

 

 

Ah, when did I ever say "I felt superior to anyone"?  Also, what do you know about where I have been in the world?  i have related and even connected with people from all walks of life in other countries.  I hear what you are saying but unless you know someone on a deep level (you do not know me and i do know you nor do I care to know anything about you) then your assumption could be wrong?  

 

My mine point was it is difficult to connect with many Thai people.  I have little in common with most Thai people.  I have lived in 4 other countries.  I speak almost fluent Korean and never felt like this in Incheon, Seoul, Songdo, Suwon or Busan.  In both English and Korean it was easy to connect to Korean people from all walks of life.  Of course my experience in LOS could be very different from others.  

Edited October 26, 2023 by sqwakvfr

[JimTripper]

21 minutes ago, NorthernRyland said:

No I'm really not. I speak Thai just fine these days and that's how I communicate with people here. I'm just telling you how I observe THEM to be, not even towards myself. Sure you can go out of your way to talk to them but that's not normal behavior and it makes people uncomfortable sometimes.

 

After I come back from the US I feel more outgoing but eventually I settle in the to the culture and that includes not making small talk with the 7-11 girls and random people selling food. Maybe I should do that more but I all I'm saying is it's not normal in their culture.

 

I'm tired of your rambling.

[NorthernRyland]

7 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

I'm tired of your rambling.

Please mute me then. Is there even a mute/block function here?

[stix40]

Yes time to move on 🚚

[retarius]

My problem is not Thai people, I have little enough to do with them. The Thai women are lovely, the men are generally arrogant a55holes.

 

But as I have become older, I have become less tolerant of the ignorant, the undereducated, the idiots, the a55holes, and the scammers, conmen and just people I meet. This is generally the expat English speaking whites I meet here. I used to like to go out and have a beer with 'they guys' and speak my native tongue'. Now I loathe those nights out and the bigots who attend them,.

Talking about bigots, I have also become much more bigoted and right wing in my political views while I have been here, perhaps a function of ageing, perhaps me showing my true colours, or perhaps picking up right wing diseases from the expats I drink with, or maybe just another misanthropist, grumpy old man, I guess. 

[JimTripper]

6 minutes ago, retarius said:

My problem is not Thai people, I have little enough to do with them. The Thai women are lovely, the men are generally arrogant a55holes.

 

But as I have become older, I have become less tolerant of the ignorant, the undereducated, the idiots, the a55holes, and the scammers, conmen and just people I meet. This is generally the expat English speaking whites I meet here. I used to like to go out and have a beer with 'they guys' and speak my native tongue'. Now I loathe those nights out and the bigots who attend them,.

Talking about bigots, I have also become much more bigoted and right wing in my political views while I have been here, perhaps a function of ageing, perhaps me showing my true colours, or perhaps picking up right wing diseases from the expats I drink with, or maybe just another misanthropist, grumpy old man, I guess. 

 

Dealing with Bs has a cumulative effect. You may be older but that just means it's built up more, not because you are changing your views.

[fittobethaied]

I've lived in Udon Thani for 13 years now, and it was a good 8 years before I finally realized that I would never assimilate into this society. I complained the entire time and nearly drove my wife crazy. Everyone said that I was painting all the Thais with the same brush, and that was unfair to them because there are some really good ones out there. I can only go on my own experiences, and so far, I have not met any of those "so-called" good ones, so I simply gave up trying to befriend any of the Thais. Now I surround myself with my own family, who I trust 100% not to lie to me or try to scam me or take advantage of me; and I have a small group of American friends with whom I associate, so that is my world and my new normal and I enjoy it. Trying to make friends with and understand the Thais is really too much of a headache for me, and it does nothing but complicate my life. For the most part, I simply ignore the Thais and act as if they are invisible. After all, that's exactly the way they treat us foreigners.If you aren't in their core circle of friends and associates, then you don't exist to them. The sooner you understand that, the better off you'll be. 

[SAFETY FIRST]

23 minutes ago, fittobethaied said:

, I simply ignore the Thais and act as if they are invisible. After all, that's exactly the way they treat us foreigners.If you aren't in their core circle of friends and associates, then you don't exist to them. The sooner you understand that, the better off you'll be. 

Wow, this is alarming. 

 

Thailand has been my home for more than 20 years. I've worked, travelled and studied in over 40 countries. I've always found the Thais to be the happiest, friendliest, most courteous people I've ever met. 

Sure occasionally I come across the very rare unpleasant Thai but very few over the many years. 

 

This article has really shocked me, the many comments, how some people can live in Thailand and be so negative, I'm sure most of the miserable people living here in Thailand would be miserable wherever they chose to live on planet earth. 

 

This article has highlighted how lucky I am, to be so happy living here in Thailand amongst these beautiful pleasant people.

 

Thanks God 🙏

Edited October 26, 2023 by SAFETY FIRST

[JimTripper]

32 minutes ago, fittobethaied said:

I've lived in Udon Thani for 13 years now, and it was a good 8 years before I finally realized that I would never assimilate into this society. I complained the entire time and nearly drove my wife crazy. Everyone said that I was painting all the Thais with the same brush, and that was unfair to them because there are some really good ones out there. I can only go on my own experiences, and so far, I have not met any of those "so-called" good ones, so I simply gave up trying to befriend any of the Thais. Now I surround myself with my own family, who I trust 100% not to lie to me or try to scam me or take advantage of me; and I have a small group of American friends with whom I associate, so that is my world and my new normal and I enjoy it. Trying to make friends with and understand the Thais is really too much of a headache for me, and it does nothing but complicate my life. For the most part, I simply ignore the Thais and act as if they are invisible. After all, that's exactly the way they treat us foreigners.If you aren't in their core circle of friends and associates, then you don't exist to them. The sooner you understand that, the better off you'll be. 

 

My problem with that is I can't really just ignore the locals. I live in a city condo and need to go out everyday and interact for life necessities and to live life. i'm not exactly pestering local thai's for friendship or whatever.

 

It did work much better when i had that villa in chiang mai where i was much happier. it was gated and i felt much more relaxed and happy there. like you said, more just an escapism living situation.

 

maybe that's my answer. go back to the more isolated living situation like before. seems now like i'd rather be bored sometimes there, then irritated like i am now.

Edited October 26, 2023 by JimTripper

[Felton Jarvis]

Nicest people that money can buy. 😄

[novacova]

This thread is a cross section of the general mindset of expats here. Good information and reaffirms my general observations over the years.

[Rampant Rabbit]

44 minutes ago, Rampant Rabbit said:

precisiely why i avoid ALL people, and again the use of the word RANTS, may as well use racist or any other typical words bandied  around  these  days for an opinion based on experience of someone else other than your experiences that other people have had. You also make a assumptions such as Im struggling, I dont want friends theyr more trouble than their worth and often a let  down, I say very  little to anyone Thai or others.  I rarely  post here in fact I keep breaking my own rule in the last week, Ill go back to it and leave the forum to its unending non crititcla everythings  fine dont for god sake criticise anything  "community standards" There see ya promise. In fact Ill make it easier for me  by inflicting  suspension you <deleted> dickhead ( I actually  enjoy  your  posts )  this should make it easier for the wanekrator mods who have wrecked a once fairly good  forum with their over moderating  <deleted>, obscene amount of ads, and constant clickbait posts. 

Now back to the serentiy of my 5  acres with no neighbours.

reported myself to save time mucking about  and to save other tosspots whiners from doing it....

[AgMech Cowboy]

On 10/24/2023 at 11:20 PM, richard_smith237 said:

To deal with your generalisation respectfully is difficult because it's not a respectful generalisation, it's not even remotely accurate of any generalisation of Thai people I've encountered or read, in fact quite the opposite is often generalised - that Thai's are too relaxed.

 

Thus, the issues are far more likely to be due to your immediate surroundings than any general national character. 

 

Having recently spent some time in a nation known for having difficult nationals I was ready to dummy spit and started tarring all with the same brush, yet, on occasion I was pleasantly surprised and didn't allow negative generalisations to impact decisions. Under the premise of the very nature of a generalisation, those negative generelastions were true of course, but they shouldn't tar every interaction..... 

Now I'm 'out' I can safely sit back in with the knowledge that my own racist bigotry isn't actually that at all, its just that some national traits are what they are and having developed 'fair opinions' based on rounded experience is just that.... experience.

 

So... what you are experiencing may not be due to where you are, but 'where' you are...  i.e. IF you are in the very centre of a hustle and bustle tourist hotspot, then visit a different area and re-set.

 

After too long in any area its nice for a reset to once again appreciate the good.

Wow, @richard_smith237, I didn't know you had this depth of 'understanding' and 'psychology?' (not sure if I'm getting the right word) about you. But running around a rig all day and chasing up errant CoMen and service hands can have that effect on perceptions, too.  Your words of wisdom are spot on to @JimTripper. Living far away from any tourist areas and dealing with Thai people in my area, golf courses and schools, I think Jim's assessment needs a reset as you've suggested. Jim, best wishes on your journey.

[retarius]

1 hour ago, NorthernRyland said:

Please mute me then. Is there even a mute/block function here?

A block function is needed here. I get tired of people who try to dominate the pages with tens of messages. It would be great to just block them out. 

[AgMech Cowboy]

26 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

It did work much better when i had that villa in chiang mai where i was much happier. it was gated and i felt much more relaxed and happy there. like you said, more just an escapism living situation

Well, that may be why I'm 'good'. I've lived in a 'seriously'  gated, secure village suburb in Pathum Thani for 18+ years. (I am rarely bored) My wife insisted on a house in 2003, so we found a good place, in a very good village and built a house. My neighbors are all Thai, but there are Farangs who live in the village, whom I visit with occasionally. My next door neighbor, Thai, very nice. The neighbor behind, my wife can't stand... This is life any place you live.

[NorthernRyland]

52 minutes ago, fittobethaied said:

For the most part, I simply ignore the Thais and act as if they are invisible. After all, that's exactly the way they treat us foreigners.If you aren't in their core circle of friends and associates, then you don't exist to them. The sooner you understand that, the better off you'll be. 

Truly a damning indictment of expat life in Thailand. I don't think it's that bad for what it's worth.

[NorthernRyland]

9 minutes ago, retarius said:

A block function is needed here. I get tired of people who try to dominate the pages with tens of messages. It would be great to just block them out. 

Sorry if I spammed with messages, I tend to get a thread late and start replying as I go along. The only thing i don't like is when pages of two people bickering consumes the forum. Sometime the mods will shut that down but not always. Probably better to take those to DMs.

[AgMech Cowboy]

34 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

This article has highlighted how lucky I am, to be so happy living here in Thailand amongst these beautiful pleasant people.

Yes, I can't imagine living in the land of my birth (or really any other western nation that has taken on such warp perceptions about life).

[retarius]

57 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

 

Dealing with Bs has a cumulative effect. You may be older but that just means it's built up more, not because you are changing your views.

I never thought of it like that, but maybe it's true. I left the Uk in my mid20s, depressed with Thatcher's Britain. I moved to the US and lasted 20 years there before the accumulated BS under GWB drove me to distraction. Then to Japan for 7 years....I loved the place but lost my job and retired. I'm here in Thailand;and for coming up to 14 years and am getting a bit sick of the place. I was in BKK yesterday, what a filthy place, disgusting....I used to enjoy the anarchy of the place, now I despise it. To be honest, I thought some more about my original post. I don't know any Thai men really. The only ones I deal with are IOs (rude), cops (arrogant), and merchants (thieves mostly). I employ a number of Thais (women and men), almost of whom have been honest, decent, helpful people. So my partial antipathy to the males here maybe to do with the select group that I deal with.

[fredwiggy]

54 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

 

My problem with that is I can't really just ignore the locals. I live in a city condo and need to go out everyday and interact for life necessities and to live life. i'm not exactly pestering local thai's for friendship or whatever.

 

It did work much better when i had that villa in chiang mai where i was much happier. it was gated and i felt much more relaxed and happy there. like you said, more just an escapism living situation.

 

maybe that's my answer. go back to the more isolated living situation like before. seems now like i'd rather be bored sometimes there, then irritated like i am now.

As you can see, I'm on your side because some of what you mention is experienced here by myself and most others, although some are blind to see or won't admit it because they are brown nosers. I don't see them as annoying although many are. You and i don't belong here, as is the same for many others who tolerate things because they either hate where they came from or are happy here because it's more affordable and the women are very pretty and available (though a price must be paid). You don't have to ignore everyone here. Just try and fit in. This is another way of life, and far behind what we grew up with. A lot of the people here are just honest, everyday farmers who live, and work, to eat. If they never leave the country, they don't know what the world is really like, unless someone tells them lies or exaggerations, like all farangs are rich. Merchants with shops and stalls are also just trying to survive, and working here on a farm, (yes, I've done it many times for my ex's family and now gf's family) is as hard as any work you will ever do labor wise. I don't like prejudice, and they show it here daily, but it's shown daily in the US also, so they're not exempt. Again, just get along, fit in, smile and smile back. You don't have to let anyone know your true feelings, as smiles here show. Until you leave, just act like you are back home, as far as how you treat others. You can never lose if you "act" nice. Don't let what others do bother you so much. They go home to miserable lives and aren't as happy as you think. This is worldwide.