Getting used to live in a wheel chair

[scorecard]

Just now, OneMoreFarang said:

Thanks for all your replies.

This is probably the only thread in the pub since year with only serious replies. Thank you.

 

His "environment" is not too bad. His condominium has wide enough doors, and he owns it and can modify it if he wants. The building has wheelchair access. Nearby shopping malls are modern with wheelchair access.

 

I think in the moment he is not happy but not suicidal. If he decides that's it then I am sure he has enough powerful medicine at home to make it happen.

 

I guess what many of your write the most part is his attitude. If he decides that he has to accept the wheelchair and tries to make the best out of his situation then probably it's not too bad. Currently I think he still needs to get over the fact that his medical condition won't improve unless there is some miracle. 

 

 

Possibly also meaning he needs you and others to joke with him and help create a not too serious environment.

[Morch]

Just now, OneMoreFarang said:

Thanks for all your replies.

This is probably the only thread in the pub since year with only serious replies. Thank you.

 

His "environment" is not too bad. His condominium has wide enough doors, and he owns it and can modify it if he wants. The building has wheelchair access. Nearby shopping malls are modern with wheelchair access.

 

I think in the moment he is not happy but not suicidal. If he decides that's it then I am sure he has enough powerful medicine at home to make it happen.

 

I guess what many of your write the most part is his attitude. If he decides that he has to accept the wheelchair and tries to make the best out of his situation then probably it's not too bad. Currently I think he still needs to get over the fact that his medical condition won't improve unless there is some miracle. 

 

 

The last bit is what I think people need professional help with. It's easier to address physical issues, there's a clear pathway, 'manual' and ladder of achievement. Mentally, it's a more ambiguous struggle, and not always easy to be honest, introspective and constructive at the same time.

[JimTripper]

 

9 minutes ago, scorecard said:

Possibly also meaning he needs you and others to joke with him and help create a not too serious environment.

very carefully. i worked as an assistant for the disabled back when i was in high school. i used to make jokes to try and cheer people up that looked depressed and some of the joking was mis-interpreted. i got fired from one place.

 

many of the disabled are on edge and not the happiest people around, especially on a hard day, and they go through a lot of care givers until they find a good match.

Edited November 4, 2023 by JimTripper

[billd766]

3 hours ago, Ben Zioner said:

In  his situation I'd get my affairs in order and look for a way out. Possibly in Switzerland.

Why?

 

Life is what you make of it, it seems to me @scorecard is doing the best that he can under very difficult circumstances.

 

I hope that I could do as well If I ever find myself in a similar position.

[billd766]

3 hours ago, Celsius said:

He could go back to his country and socialize while playing bingo.

 

But I guess at his age he still  prefers paying for prostitutes.

 

What a life lived.

What an incredibly stupid and ignorant post.

[billd766]

3 hours ago, impulse said:

I bought this for towing my kayak to the local lake, but if I ever get into a wheelchair, this is one of the first things I'd buy for mobility around the neighborhood.  48V, 20km+/hr, and goes over 10 km on a charge (never tested the range beyond 10 km- that's the distance between the dealer and my apartment in China).  Easy to get on and off and fun.  I've seen them in Thailand, a lot around Chinatown in BKK.

 

Glad the guy's got resources so he can afford to modify his home and his lifestyle to suit the new reality.  I've known 2 kinds of people who took to a wheelchair.  Those who resigned themselves to their fate, and those that made the modifications to make the most of their new life.  Guess who had more fun?  Back home, there are consultants who make a living helping people modify their homes, with elevators, grab bars, wider doorways, etc.  I'd hope the same exist in Thailand.

Is the trike ICE powered or battery powered? Please accept my apology, I missed the detail in your post.

 

My bad.

Edited November 4, 2023 by billd766
added extra text

[billd766]

3 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

What has his age got to do with it? You think it's too old to bonk? I feel sorry for you with that attitude.

I agree with most of your post, except for the feeling sorry part.

 

He is what he is, and deserves what he gets.

[Tropicalevo]

1 hour ago, Shop mak said:

A family member was in similar situation, and was mostly depressed unless we got him out of the house. Then life was ok again.

You make a very good point there.

Stay in and feel sorry for yourself.

Go out and interact with all of the lovely people out there 😎👍

[JimTripper]

6 minutes ago, Tropicalevo said:

You make a very good point there.

Stay in and feel sorry for yourself.

Go out and interact with all of the lovely people out there 😎👍

not necessarily. some people want to stay inside. if you push people it can make things worse because they end up feeling like they are not living up to "your expectations".

Edited November 4, 2023 by JimTripper

[dddave]

I live near Jomtien Beach and there seems to be a sizeable wheelchair community here. Also, I'm seeing more electric carts on local roadways.  It's pretty flat with a fair supply of curb cuts.  The condo building I'm in has flat entry into the lobby so no 30 degree ramps to deal with.

I guess the two things I'd suggest is first to determine if regular physical therapy with a trained and licensed therapist would help him retain what strength he still has and perhaps enhance it a bit.

Second, would be to do an eyes open survey of his residence building and neighborhood.  Is it wheelchair friendly or are their a lot of obstacles that would require him to always have assistance at hand.  If that is the case, then perhaps moving to a more user friendly residence and neighborhood while he sill can.

[scorecard]

1 hour ago, JimTripper said:

 

very carefully. i worked as an assistant for the disabled back when i was in high school. i used to make jokes to try and cheer people up that looked depressed and some of the joking was mis-interpreted. i got fired from one place.

 

many of the disabled are on edge and not the happiest people around, especially on a hard day, and they go through a lot of care givers until they find a good match.

 

There's truth in all of that.

 

There's also the care gives who think they are doing a good job but in reality are upsetting people continuously.

 

One of the major hospitals in BKK banned a 'help / comfort' group from coming to the hospital.

 

Snr. Thai Dr observed 2 mid aged Thai women yelling loudly at an old well dressed Thai lady in a wheelchair. Dr. saad to the lady in the w/chair in normal voice "Can you hear me OK?"  Resposnse

yes my hearing is excellent.

 

Dr. asked the 'caregivers'  "Why are you yellin at her?"

 

Response 'at our training course we learned that to old people in w/chairs are deaf and you have to yell at them so they understand what you are saying'.

 

 

[NextG]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Thanks for all your replies.

This is probably the only thread in the pub since year with only serious replies. Thank you.

 

His "environment" is not too bad. His condominium has wide enough doors, and he owns it and can modify it if he wants. The building has wheelchair access. Nearby shopping malls are modern with wheelchair access.

 

I think in the moment he is not happy but not suicidal. If he decides that's it then I am sure he has enough powerful medicine at home to make it happen.

 

I guess what many of your write the most part is his attitude. If he decides that he has to accept the wheelchair and tries to make the best out of his situation then probably it's not too bad. Currently I think he still needs to get over the fact that his medical condition won't improve unless there is some miracle. 

 

Likely that his lifestyle took him in that direction; so unless he changes that, it will continue in the same vein. 
Simple example: If you have a ‘bad’ posture, then certain parts of your body will take the strain, resulting in wear and tear on certain overused points. Whereas if you are more fluid in your movements, wear is distributed more evenly. Most people are set in their ways. Then once one part begins to fail, you overcompensate, which puts wear and stress on the body… Sitting in a wheelchair removes some of the stress and strain, but then your dependent on a wheelchair. 
I see the terrible condition of so many here…
 

[cdemundo]

5 hours ago, QuantumQuandry said:

There is a psychology theory of a set-point to happiness, though I think it may vary, depending on the life event.

 

In this theory, people who have great misfortune, such as permanent loss of limbs, will be depressed for a while but eventually return to roughly the same level of happiness.

 

And people who have great fortune, like winning a lottery, will be elated in the short term but the gloominess will return.

 

I worked with people after their return home from hospitalization and often they experienced an irreversible decline in function.

I observed, and this was confirmation of academic contention, that after an adjustment period what QuantumQuandary says is true.

After a period of adjustment people's self-report of their satisfaction with life was about the same as it had been previously.

 

This is of course a YMMV situation but chances are an intelligent guy without economic troubles should be able to adjust.

Social contacts can be important, hope he gets out and about.

I think that the fact that most people he knows will treat him the same as they have done before gives him some continuity and the sense that he is still the person he always was.

Best wishes to your friend.

Edited November 4, 2023 by cdemundo

[JimTripper]

39 minutes ago, scorecard said:

 

There's truth in all of that.

 

There's also the care gives who think they are doing a good job but in reality are upsetting people continuously.

 

One of the major hospitals in BKK banned a 'help / comfort' group from coming to the hospital.

 

Snr. Thai Dr observed 2 mid aged Thai women yelling loudly at an old well dressed Thai lady in a wheelchair. Dr. saad to the lady in the w/chair in normal voice "Can you hear me OK?"  Resposnse

yes my hearing is excellent.

 

Dr. asked the 'caregivers'  "Why are you yellin at her?"

 

Response 'at our training course we learned that to old people in w/chairs are deaf and you have to yell at them so they understand what you are saying'.

 

 

i had a disabled colleague at work one time in a wheelchair and she said people do all kinds of strange things when you're disabled out in public because the disability makes them nervous and they don't know how to act or what to do.

 

for example, people will come up from behind and push the chair or insist on helping you out or carrying your stuff even when you don't want them to. they will act overly nice and never "normal", or it will be the other way around and ignore you completely. apparently, it's a real head trip but something you get used to.

 

there was a very active forum member who lived up in isaan awhile ago that was in a wheelchair, paraplegic i think, but i have not seen him post in awhile. i forget his name.

Edited November 4, 2023 by JimTripper

[OneMoreFarang]

Thanks again for more replies.

 

What crossed my mind are electric powered wheelchairs. Are they good and not too difficult to understand?

 

My friend lives in the middle of Bangkok. If he would have a powered wheelchair I guess he should be able to drive by himself out of the building and to the next modern shopping center, which is maybe 500m away.

Obviously it's nice to have a helping hand. But maybe he likes more the idea not to depend on other people (too much).

 

 

[Lacessit]

4 hours ago, Morch said:

My Mom and my Thai FIL were, in turn, basically wheelchair bound for the last year of their lives (on and off before that). Neither took to it very well, made much effort to adjust or anything. Both were angry, depressed and frustrated at this coming on top of already troubled health circumstances and old age.

 

On the other hand, one of my sister's close friends is in wheelchair since his 20's. Totally different - guy is rarely down, married, kids, athlete.

 

So guess a whole lot depends on one's basic attitude to life, how quick the initial negative reaction can be overcome, and at which point in life it happens.

 

There was (is?) a longtime poster on here who was in an even worse condition (Collin something, sorry forgot exact handle) - again a case of someone coming to term with his situation, laughing about it and making most of things.

 

If it's relevant and applicable - I'd say getting some professional aid for the mental side of things is not less important than material support.

 

IMO you are thinking of Colin Neil, who was confined to a wheelchair after a bad motorcycle accident. I believe he has passed away, happy to stand corrected.

[Lacessit]

With money, the guy in the OP's wheelchair can afford the best in mobility.

[cdemundo]

18 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Thanks again for more replies.

 

What crossed my mind are electric powered wheelchairs. Are they good and not too difficult to understand?

 

My friend lives in the middle of Bangkok. If he would have a powered wheelchair I guess he should be able to drive by himself out of the building and to the next modern shopping center, which is maybe 500m away.

Obviously it's nice to have a helping hand. But maybe he likes more the idea not to depend on other people (too much).

 

 

 

Power WC is a great idea.

Not hard to operate unless a person has major cognitive issues and it sounds like your acquaintance doesn't have such issues.

 

[JimTripper]

27 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

IMO you are thinking of Colin Neil, who was confined to a wheelchair after a bad motorcycle accident. I believe he has passed away, happy to stand corrected.

yes, it was colin neil i was thinking of. sorry to hear he passed.

 

https://aseannow.com/profile/51965-colinneil/

 

 

Edited November 4, 2023 by JimTripper

[Ralf001]

6 hours ago, Ben Zioner said:

In  his situation I'd get my affairs in order and look for a way out. Possibly in Switzerland.

 

An out is easily done here..... and I dont mean stand up and jump off a balcony.

[Morch]

13 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

IMO you are thinking of Colin Neil, who was confined to a wheelchair after a bad motorcycle accident. I believe he has passed away, happy to stand corrected.

 

Yes, him. Sorry to hear.

[gargamon]

Hook him up with one of the assisted living places where he can be self reliant until he can't and then some of the living duties can be handed off to the facility. Some of them are very nice, from having private villa with private pool down to shared rooms for the less fortunate financially.

 

They are all over, with LaLisa in Chiang Mai being the most famous. Here's a suite from one in Pattaya. 

[scorecard]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Thanks again for more replies.

 

What crossed my mind are electric powered wheelchairs. Are they good and not too difficult to understand?

 

My friend lives in the middle of Bangkok. If he would have a powered wheelchair I guess he should be able to drive by himself out of the building and to the next modern shopping center, which is maybe 500m away.

Obviously it's nice to have a helping hand. But maybe he likes more the idea not to depend on other people (too much).

 

 

 

 

But keeping in mind that most of Bkk is not that w/chair friendly in terms of footpath quality, access to overhead foot bridges / access to the BTS, access to shopping centres / access to ones own living quarters, and the smoothness of the actual footpaths.

 

But with some research / checking I guess there must be some areas which are better that others for all of these points. And worthwhile doing the research to find a 'nicely liveable' precinct.

 

Could perhaps be a nice 2 week project for a team of 2 or 3 older high school kids.

 

(No more than 2 or 3, with one clearly nominated as the team leader, otherwise chaos, lack of coordination, and 2 students doing the work while the rest sit and watch cartoons on the smrtphones etc.)

 

 

 

Edited November 4, 2023 by scorecard

[CG1 Blue]

1 hour ago, NextG said:

Likely that his lifestyle took him in that direction; so unless he changes that, it will continue in the same vein. 
Simple example: If you have a ‘bad’ posture, then certain parts of your body will take the strain, resulting in wear and tear on certain overused points. Whereas if you are more fluid in your movements, wear is distributed more evenly. Most people are set in their ways. Then once one part begins to fail, you overcompensate, which puts wear and stress on the body… Sitting in a wheelchair removes some of the stress and strain, but then your dependent on a wheelchair. 
I see the terrible condition of so many here…
 

I'm sure the OP's friend will be really grateful to know it's all his own fault. How kind of you to point this out 👍

 

[Rimmer]

A totally inappropriate post has been removed.

 

Have you seen this topic today in Thailand News?

 

 

[NextG]

18 minutes ago, CG1 Blue said:

I'm sure the OP's friend will be really grateful to know it's all his own fault. How kind of you to point this out 👍

 

It’s everyone’s fault, you 🤡 

Each of us has a responsibility to ourselves. 
But I can see so many causing problems to themselves. Through fear, through ignorance..

[NextG]

34 minutes ago, CG1 Blue said:

I'm sure the OP's friend will be really grateful to know it's all his own fault. How kind of you to point this out 👍

 

The point is that we all have the possibility  to change direction, change perception.

How many of you had a partner where you thought “if she would only listen and learn from me, she could have a secure and stable life”, to no avail? Instead you see a car crash that could easily have been prevented, but for…

A lot of the decline takes place in the brain. The body follows. Free your mind. 

[NextG]

There are none so blind as those who will not see…

[billd766]

1 hour ago, cdemundo said:

 

Power WC is a great idea.

Not hard to operate unless a person has major cognitive issues and it sounds like your acquaintance doesn't have such issues.

 

Many years ago in the 1980s my first wife used to work at the original Leonard Cheshire Home near Liss. All of the residents were disabled and many were in electric wheel chairs.

 

For some residents their electric wheelchairs had been adapted to be controlled by a pipe to the mouth.

 

There are several Cheshire homes in Thailand.

 

http://www.siriwattanacheshire.com/EN/about.html

 

[Andre0720]

I would think that Biden might be in a position to help in this situation...

 

But seriously, kind of sad, but our youth will all be stolen by old age.

 

Lost a good friend lately. He had accumulated a good amount of money, that he so difficultly spent.

I remember telling him: 'Estimate the number of days you have left to live, divide your wealth by that number, and the result is what you should spend every day. If you fail to do that, your legacy will end up doing it for you.

He ended up spending a bit more, but for most people in the same situation, it appears like their objective, is that when they die, that would be the day that they would have been the richest in their life... Well, he ended up achieved that...

Beware...