Jomtien culture compared

[smallchungus]

32 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

I moved here from Appalachia. No GF pay day there for you, partic with your fat phobia. Hope you love Jesus.

 

The problem may not be geography. It may just be down to You-ology.

Is it possible to put people like this guy, who is  married to a fat granny, on ignore?  Nothing of value ever gets added when he speaks.

 

Nevermind, found it.

[NanLaew]

On 12/21/2023 at 8:59 AM, BigStar said:

 

Depends on how large the town is. Pattaya City is a big place now, though our mongers only know a small part of it, a few streets mainly, and are blind to the rest.

 

Take a look at the modern Pattaya skyline. See all those hotels, condos, and malls? Ride around. See all those shops, offices, schools, markets, and large stores? See those banks and hospitals? OBVIOUSLY, there's a vast army of "normal" women working in them. Thank god; without them, it'd all collapse.

 

Most of them don't interact with the public, so meeting them is the problem. You don't pick them up on the street, not in Pattaya. Most of them speak little to no English (you need basic Thai).

 

You might get lucky, but otherwise, as I said, effort will be needed. Working, volunteering, making a good impression on those whom you do happen to meet, letting them know you're a serious guy looking for a real girlfriend (networking)--and going online and filtering out hundreds of ho's, gold diggers, scammers, escorts, and crazies. Online, you have access to ladies in nearby towns and Bangkok. Sometimes the office ladies do speak some English, 'cause they work with international hotels or have foreign clients, such as a professional accountant or condo management company.

 

My gf I met when I volunteered at a small (now defunct) language school in Naklua. Her company had sent her over for a short English language course. She knew none then. She studied hard and learned fast. Me, I had started learning basic Thai from the time I arrived in Pattaya. We met for lunch a few times outside of class and started talking and messaging, and somehow the chemistry was just right. After I helped develop her potential, she turned out to be pretty remarkable. Who'd have thought? I wouldn't have.

 

And she allows you to drink at the TQ as well.

 

Keeper!

[GypsyT]

Finding/buying the wife ain't easy or cheap...

 

"Elite visa"

5 year - 15,000 THB per month / 900 000 THB total. Plus living expenses.
"If only this elite visa gave anything. It is totally useless, you can spend 40 years here on Elite visa and by the end of it will have no more rights that a tourist just off the plane."

 

[smallchungus]

3 minutes ago, GypsyT said:

Finding/buying the wife ain't easy or cheap...

 

"Elite visa"

5 year - 15,000 THB per month / 900 000 THB total. Plus living expenses.
"If only this elite visa gave anything. It is totally useless, you can spend 40 years here on Elite visa and by the end of it will have no more rights that a tourist just off the plane."

 

It is how I qualify to stay if I want.  Name any visa that gives more rights than a tourist just off a plane.  You can have the retirement visa for ages and ages and still have the same rights as any other 50 year old fresh off the plane.

[CharlieH]

Reported Troll remark removed.

[morrobay]

4 hours ago, smallchungus said:

Is it possible to put people like this guy, who is  married to a fat granny, on ignore?  Nothing of value ever gets added when he speaks.

 

Nevermind, found it.

Come on keep it boiling ya all's the best comedy act ever seen here

[DaddyWarbucks]

On 12/21/2023 at 9:30 AM, BonnieandClyde said:

Hogwash.

Any girl who has been part of the bar/prostitution scene in Thailand is seriously damaged goods... avoid them like the plague for long-term relationships.

My Bonnie was a waitress in a small town in Texas when we first met and we've had a bang-up time together since then.

Spot on.

Anybody who would consider marrying a bargirl needs a check-up from the neck up

[Mike Lister]

9 minutes ago, DaddyWarbucks said:

Spot on.

Anybody who would consider marrying a bargirl needs a check-up from the neck up

I'm betting that you don't understand exactly how many Thai females have spent at least part of their younger years "working" in similar profession and how many professional women continue to work in the same, from time to time. I also think you probably have this stero type of what a bar girls is, in your mind. I don't know if you have middle class Thai or farang/Thai friends here in Thailand that you socialise with, you'd be surprised at many of their backgrounds, before they became middle class.

[Expat68]

6 minutes ago, Mike Lister said:

I'm betting that you don't understand exactly how many Thai females have spent at least part of their younger years "working" in similar profession and how many professional women continue to work in the same, from time to time. I also think you probably have this stero type of what a bar girls is, in your mind. I don't know if you have middle class Thai or farang/Thai friends here in Thailand that you socialise with, you'd be surprised at many of their backgrounds, before they became middle class.

I know many students who supplement their university fees in this way. 

[morrobay]

39 minutes ago, Expat68 said:

I know many students who supplement their university fees in this way. 

Right  alot of wild cards/sideliners  here and with "about"a rolling two million of them. And about twenty million ladies from 18 - 46 in the general population - So about 1 in 10 . No complaints here.

[wavodavo]

On 12/21/2023 at 1:08 PM, Furioso said:

Congrats, your still young(30's)and you know what you want. I do believe it's harder after the age of 30, than when you're in your 20's. A guy in his 30's is definitely considered an adult, where a guy in his 20's is still considered an extension of his teenage years. Most guys in their 30's obviously not only look older but have had a marriage/kids/divorce..but they are more mature and usually better off financially. I've been here in Thailand 18 months I've seen a few successes but they are rare. Most successes are older guys who have 40'ish wives who are very plain looking. As far as good looking girls go--one guy I know is 56 he's very well off financially, always been very smart, he has a nice much younger gf he looked around here in Pattaya area for 3 years to finally pick the right one. Another guy is 62 he has a much younger g/f, she's a marathon runner all he had to do was buy her a 15-20 million baht condo in Jomtien.  

 

I hang out with a lot of friends here in Pattaya, the guys who don't commit are happy 24/7. 90% of the guys who commit are unhappy at least half the time. The sex addicts are, of course, miserable. The alcoholics are, of course, happy lol. 

 

My advice to a guy in his 30's who knows what he wants? If you can be happy with a plain girl, you'll probably be alright. If you want a pretty girl you should really plan everything out to the nth degree otherwise you'll lose control and be miserable. If you have 1k-7k Euros a month I'd say VERY DIFFICULT you can get and keep a pretty girl. If you don't have 8k Euros a month you're young you can reinvent yourself and get it. I wouldn't try Thailand though, I'd probably go for a nice S. Korean girl who wants out of S. Korea(they work hard and are much better looking) or go for a nice Colombian girl(you can be 100% that they will take care of your kids).

 

Yes, you can make Thailand work for you but it's simply too hard and you need a lot of money. 

I woukd suggest he concentrates on the philipines for a future wife...they all speak english which is a big help and they are great mothers.I tried Thai women but ended up with philipina wife now  25 years married  and 1 son.  Inrfrastructor and Medical facilities are better in Thailand but you dont have to live there.

[Danderman123]

On 12/20/2023 at 6:12 PM, smallchungus said:

I’ve heard to avoid Pattaya for finding long term relationships because of the bar girls and general sexpat culture of the city.  I have zero interest in anything related to this.  Is Jomtien going to also be a bad choice for finding a potential long term relationship/wife as well due to its proximity to Pattaya?  Would I be better off going to somewhere like Phuket or Hua Hin?  I don’t drink so bars in general aren’t going to be of any appeal.  My main interest in the general Pattaya area is the number of restaurants, quality hospitals, cost of living, and not getting obliterated by smoke season.

Jomtien ladies are the same as Pattaya ladies, except that their Thai boyfriends live in Jomtien, not Pattaya.

 

BTW, if you are looking for a girlfriend in a bar, you are going to have a big sad, sooner or later.

[Danderman123]

On 12/21/2023 at 10:37 AM, bbi1 said:

A lot of them or legal age working in normal jobs are up for some P4P. In fact, many of them go out to clubs and sell the punani too or are semi-pro for some extra cash. Ones that work in retail, fast food restaurants, waitresses, hotels, dental assistants, salons, etc.

Very common for working women to finish their day job, go work Beach Road, and then go home to their Thai husband.

[Danderman123]

On 12/21/2023 at 10:33 AM, newnative said:

     I disagree.  There are probably more women working just at convenience stores--7-11s, Tops, etc.--all over the greater Pattaya area than in the bars.  Then add in all the other retail--everything from banks to clothing stores to electronincs/cell phone stores to opticians to pharmacies to shoe shops to--the list is endless.  Then add in all the hospital workers and all the workers at health clinics, dentists, etc.  Hospitals are big employers of women and we have at least 4.  Then add in all the workers at the hotels, restaurants, tourist places, etc.  Then add in all the women working in Mom and Pop shops--everything from street food vendors to laundries to barbers and beauty salons, etc. etc.  No contest.

I am in a room with a hospital nurse sleeping next to me. She works full time + overtime.

 

But, in order to get money to study, she worked bar in Ban Chang. Lots of stories like that.

[Danderman123]

Any poster who claims he doesn't give his wife/GF money has a SO who is working (as what, I don't know). Most Thai ladies cannot survive on "pocket money" if they have kids. Even adult sons leech off their mothers into their 40's.

 

Between family emergencies and sums owed to creditors, Thai ladies need money.

[CMHomeboy78]

On 12/22/2023 at 5:47 PM, DaddyWarbucks said:

Spot on.

Anybody who would consider marrying a bargirl needs a check-up from the neck up

I agree with you entirely.

This is a situation that I can comment on because I lived it when I first came to Thailand in my early 30's.

The country and people have gone through a lot of changes since that time in the late 1970's, but some things have remained largely as they were. The commercial sex scene is one of them.

Like so many others, I was like a kid cut loose in a candy store when I first arrived.

As a free-lance graphic artist I could live and work almost anywhere and I chose Thailand with alacrity... and not only for the easy sex.

My nature is instinctively monogamous so I would select a willing girl and we would set up house together. The tree-lined klongs that still existed on the outskirts of Bangkok provided some really idyllic settings and small traditional houses were renting for about $30. per month.

Several of these mee-uh chows had been "on the game" before I met them - either immediately or at some time earlier. What they all seemed to have in common was a fun-loving temperment, ever ready to by tee-oh and have a good time.

As I was in the prime of my life and not some pot bellied old plug-ugly, they loved showing me off to friends and family.

All great fun for me and probably the high-point of my life as far as pure sensual pleasure and a carefree existence is concerned.

The flip side to that was the discovery - usually very early on - that each and every one of them had a mercenary nature, a mean streak, and the total lack of anything like a moral compass.

Also, "Breaking up is hard to do" takes on a whole new level of meaning among those girls here in Thailand. I feel lucky to have escaped with my life and limbs intact after some of the violent affrays that resulted from our partings.

That's my experience; no doubt others will have more positive personal accounts to relate.

I subsequently moved to Chiang Mai and happily became acquainted with a better class of people, married, settled down in my mid 30's and went on to raise two daughters who my wife brought up in a traditional manner while preparing them for careers in the modern world.

They have both been very successful, I'm glad to say.

All's well that ends well.

 

[jacko45k]

19 hours ago, Danderman123 said:

Any poster who claims he doesn't give his wife/GF money has a SO who is working (as what, I don't know). Most Thai ladies cannot survive on "pocket money" if they have kids. Even adult sons leech off their mothers into their 40's.

 

Between family emergencies and sums owed to creditors, Thai ladies need money.

Marry an only child or orphan! Fortunately mine does not have kids, and in the early days I warned her that no scrounging from family will be entertained and would likely lead to break up..... She gets money, up to her where it goes, but does not ask for more. But she/we are from ancient times, got together 20+ years ago, I suspect the bar girls these days need more!

[BigStar]

21 hours ago, Danderman123 said:

Any poster who claims he doesn't give his wife/GF money has a SO who is working (as what, I don't know).

 

And the poster usually, if not always, says he does, so you haven't "figured out" anything. But why should you expect or need to know? Have you announced what you work "as," or did? And if you did know, then what?

 

[Danderman123]

7 minutes ago, BigStar said:

 

And the poster usually, if not always, says he does, so you haven't "figured out" anything. But why should you expect or need to know? Have you announced what you work "as," or did? And if you did know, then what?

 

Okay, let's recap the bidding.

 

Some posters claim they don't give any serious money to their girlfriends or wives. I assume many of them have girlfriends or wives who are working, and can take care of their financial needs.

 

But what of the posters whose wives/girlfriends are not working? Do the wives simply make do without any significant cash? That's where I am doubtful, because virtually all the Thai ladies I know have families that constantly need money. I know one lady with an adult son who crashed his motorcycle, and was paralyzed from the waist down - twice. He had enormous hospital bills, which she had to pay.

 

Not to mention all of the ladies with sick parents. They just send me a photo of some old person in a hospital bed and a request for money. 

 

I can't imagine being married to a Thai lady who doesn't have family emergencies that require instant cash.

[EVENKEEL]

On 12/20/2023 at 7:16 PM, smallchungus said:

You are making the Philippines sound better and better.  I don’t want a transactional nightmare relationship.  A traditional woman who wants to be a mother has to exist somewhere.

The transactional nightmare won't disappear in PI. There, the ladies main objective is to go to a western country and her family will follow.

[BigStar]

19 minutes ago, Danderman123 said:

I assume many of them have girlfriends or wives who are working, and can take care of their financial needs.

 

 

No need to assume, as that's what they usually, or always, say. You haven't figured out anything. Nor do you need to know "as what." I don't recall your announcing "what" you work as, or did.

 

19 minutes ago, Danderman123 said:

That's where I am doubtful, because virtually all the Thai ladies I know have families that constantly need money.

 

Oh, that's where. And you know only poorer, lower class Thai ladies, as most here. Hence you thought you needed shrewdly to figure out for yourself that they must be working as "something." But some posters here, unbelievably, have middle class gfs from middle class families who support themselves, just as in your own benighted country. It's that simple. Moreover, back home middle class families may have emergencies. Those are understandble exceptions and don't fall into the category of paying the girlfriend a salary as you're trying to imply. In fact we're always hearing of Gofundme pleas here from Brit families.

 

You've fallen for one of the canonical ANF Poster Known Truths that only farangs have money. There's a large Thai middle class, they have money, and they spend. Suck it up. 

 

[scubascuba3]

23 minutes ago, BigStar said:

 

No need to assume, as that's what they usually, or always, say. You haven't figured out anything. Nor do you need to know "as what." I don't recall your announcing "what" you work as, or did.

 

 

Oh, that's where. And you know only poorer, lower class Thai ladies, as most here. Hence you thought you needed shrewdly to figure out for yourself that they must be working as "something." But some posters here, unbelievably, have middle class gfs from middle class families who support themselves, just as in your own benighted country. It's that simple. Moreover, back home middle class families may have emergencies. Those are understandble exceptions and don't fall into the category of paying the girlfriend a salary as you're trying to imply. In fact we're always hearing of Gofundme pleas here from Brit families.

 

You've fallen for one of the canonical ANF Poster Known Truths that only farangs have money. There's a large Thai middle class, they have money, and they spend. Suck it up. 

 

how much do you pay your girlfriend? and what's the age gap?

[scubascuba3]

38 minutes ago, Danderman123 said:

Okay, let's recap the bidding.

 

Some posters claim they don't give any serious money to their girlfriends or wives. I assume many of them have girlfriends or wives who are working, and can take care of their financial needs.

 

But what of the posters whose wives/girlfriends are not working? Do the wives simply make do without any significant cash? That's where I am doubtful, because virtually all the Thai ladies I know have families that constantly need money. I know one lady with an adult son who crashed his motorcycle, and was paralyzed from the waist down - twice. He had enormous hospital bills, which she had to pay.

 

Not to mention all of the ladies with sick parents. They just send me a photo of some old person in a hospital bed and a request for money. 

 

I can't imagine being married to a Thai lady who doesn't have family emergencies that require instant cash.

You are right of course, my lawyer ex girlfriend now good friend supports the mother, father, 2 brothers, cats and dogs and probably a buffalo in there too

[2baht]

On 12/20/2023 at 6:59 PM, smallchungus said:

I’m in my 30s and that situation is exactly what I want to avoid

Get a job, meet an office girl!

[jacko45k]

53 minutes ago, Danderman123 said:

Okay, let's recap the bidding.

 

Some posters claim they don't give any serious money to their girlfriends or wives. I assume many of them have girlfriends or wives who are working, and can take care of their financial needs.

 

But what of the posters whose wives/girlfriends are not working? Do the wives simply make do without any significant cash? That's where I am doubtful, because virtually all the Thai ladies I know have families that constantly need money. I know one lady with an adult son who crashed his motorcycle, and was paralyzed from the waist down - twice. He had enormous hospital bills, which she had to pay.

 

Not to mention all of the ladies with sick parents. They just send me a photo of some old person in a hospital bed and a request for money. 

 

I can't imagine being married to a Thai lady who doesn't have family emergencies that require instant cash.

A good amount of what you write here sounds like the typical scamming that goes on to get large sums out of loved up foreigners by manipulative girls. Plenty of regular relationships around that do not have such requirements.  

Yes money is involved, but what is your idea of serious money? Getting a wife/ partner working is often unattractive if they lack skills and education, most jobs requiring long hours, 6 days a week and salaries are low... outside bar work. 

[BigStar]

26 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

how much do you pay your girlfriend? and what's the age gap?

 

I've said earlier in the thread that she works and has her own money, so I don't pay her anything. We exchange gifts. There's an age gap, but it is irrelevant and gets into the "pay for beauty" marketplace you're in.

 

Having once married a fashion model who worked in New York, I can assure you that beauty per se, and esp. paying money for beauty, has little chance of promoting a stable, happy, long-term relationship.

[scubascuba3]

2 hours ago, BigStar said:

 

I've said earlier in the thread that she works and has her own money, so I don't pay her anything. We exchange gifts. There's an age gap, but it is irrelevant and gets into the "pay for beauty" marketplace you're in.

 

Having once married a fashion model who worked in New York, I can assure you that beauty per se, and esp. paying money for beauty, has little chance of promoting a stable, happy, long-term relationship.

at 74 you aren't going to get a much younger lady unless there's an incentive of money short term or long term, better if you're just honest with yourself about it

[scubascuba3]

2 hours ago, 2baht said:

Get a job, meet an office girl!

Correct, i think in my 30s the best option would have been get a job in Thailand or Singapore and meet someone at work, rather than waste time back in farangland with a very small pool of slim attractive women

[PJ71]

On 12/22/2023 at 11:08 AM, Expat68 said:

I know many students who supplement their university fees in this way. 

Can you share their contact details pls.

[Danderman123]

8 hours ago, BigStar said:

 

No need to assume, as that's what they usually, or always, say. You haven't figured out anything. Nor do you need to know "as what." I don't recall your announcing "what" you work as, or did.

 

 

Oh, that's where. And you know only poorer, lower class Thai ladies, as most here. Hence you thought you needed shrewdly to figure out for yourself that they must be working as "something." But some posters here, unbelievably, have middle class gfs from middle class families who support themselves, just as in your own benighted country. It's that simple. Moreover, back home middle class families may have emergencies. Those are understandble exceptions and don't fall into the category of paying the girlfriend a salary as you're trying to imply. In fact we're always hearing of Gofundme pleas here from Brit families.

 

You've fallen for one of the canonical ANF Poster Known Truths that only farangs have money. There's a large Thai middle class, they have money, and they spend. Suck it up. 

 

Typically, middle class Thai ladies do not marry old Farangs. Unless there is a *lot* of money involved.