Complicated scenario of abuse, passports and marriage

[Na Fan]

Hi all

 

Posting here as due to the complexity of the situation it doesn't really fit anywhere else.

 

Looking for advise, and I'll try to summarize best I can.

 

- Person of Laos origin, lives and works in Thailand

- Married a guy from Norway, was married for 8 years and has been to Norway several times

- In the process of applying for residence permit in Norway, passport and documentation is at the Norwegian embassy here in Thailand for a year now

- Got beat up severely (repeatedly) by the (ex-)husband, made police report with photos and all. Police took no action.

- Wants to get divorced, but is now being blackmailed by the spouse (wants ring back, wants police report annulled or won't sign divorce papers)

- Marriage has NOT been registered anywhere  outside of Norway

 

Of course there's lots more to it, but that's kind  of the gist of it.

 

What can one do to assist here?

 

I'm European and married to a Thai myself, so I am somewhat familiar with the fact that things quickly get complicated when multiple countries get involved.  But with this I guess I'm somewhat in over my head. But I've been asked for advise and I'm trying to help best I can.

 

Some questions I have:

- What if the current visa application is simply abandoned, passport cancelled and a new one is gotten? Can we just inform the embassy of that fact, rendering the current application null and void, and solving that part of the equation?

- What about a divorce at an international level. We can't afford expensive lawyers. Looking for things we can realistically do ourselves. Either here in Thailand (we're here), in Norway (we do have some contacts there), or in Laos (family is there).

- What if we were to just ignore the fact she's married in Norway. Could she get married legally elsewhere in the future?

- Any other important things one should not forget?

 

Thanks for any feedback

 

Fan

 

 

[Dolf]

11 minutes ago, Na Fan said:

Hi all

 

Posting here as due to the complexity of the situation it doesn't really fit anywhere else.

 

Looking for advise, and I'll try to summarize best I can.

 

- Person of Laos origin, lives and works in Thailand

- Married a guy from Norway, was married for 8 years and has been to Norway several times

- In the process of applying for residence permit in Norway, passport and documentation is at the Norwegian embassy here in Thailand for a year now

- Got beat up severely (repeatedly) by the (ex-)husband, made police report with photos and all. Police took no action.

- Wants to get divorced, but is now being blackmailed by the spouse (wants ring back, wants police report annulled or won't sign divorce papers)

- Marriage has NOT been registered anywhere  outside of Norway

 

Of course there's lots more to it, but that's kind  of the gist of it.

 

What can one do to assist here?

 

I'm European and married to a Thai myself, so I am somewhat familiar with the fact that things quickly get complicated when multiple countries get involved.  But with this I guess I'm somewhat in over my head. But I've been asked for advise and I'm trying to help best I can.

 

Some questions I have:

- What if the current visa application is simply abandoned, passport cancelled and a new one is gotten? Can we just inform the embassy of that fact, rendering the current application null and void, and solving that part of the equation?

- What about a divorce at an international level. We can't afford expensive lawyers. Looking for things we can realistically do ourselves. Either here in Thailand (we're here), in Norway (we do have some contacts there), or in Laos (family is there).

- What if we were to just ignore the fact she's married in Norway. Could she get married legally elsewhere in the future?

- Any other important things one should not forget?

 

Thanks for any feedback

 

Fan

 

 

Give the ring back. He bought it.

[Na Fan]

21 minutes ago, Dolf said:

Give the ring back. He bought it.

It's a wedding ring, not an engagement ring.

[Dolf]

Just now, Na Fan said:

It's a wedding ring, not an engagement ring.

He still bought it.

[Na Fan]

13 minutes ago, Dolf said:

He still bought it.

why don't you go annoy someone else 🙂

 

[BritManToo]

50 minutes ago, Na Fan said:

What can one do to assist here?

 

I'm European and married to a Thai myself, so I am somewhat familiar with the fact that things quickly get complicated when multiple countries get involved.  But with this I guess I'm somewhat in over my head. But I've been asked for advise and I'm trying to help best I can.

I'd suggest minding your own business.

Neither husband or wife have any connection with Thailand.

[Na Fan]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I'd suggest minding your own business.

Neither husband or wife have any connection with Thailand.

 

I know. But they live here and she's a friend of ours and the neighbors, for a start.

[Andre0720]

47 minutes ago, Dolf said:

Give the ring back. He bought it.

He gave it to her.....

[Dolf]

13 minutes ago, Na Fan said:

why don't you go annoy someone else 🙂

 

You posted on a public forum

[Dolf]

2 minutes ago, Andre0720 said:

He gave it to her.....

For marriage not divorce. Give the ring back.

[Andre0720]

3 minutes ago, Dolf said:

For marriage not divorce. Give the ring back.

The got married.

The condition for giving the ring was met.

Belong to her now.

[Dolf]

https://www.regjeringen.no/en/topics/families-and-children/innsiktsartikler/skilsmisse-og-samlivsbrot/id670413/

 

She just needs to wait 1 year then apply

He doesnt have to sign

[2baht]

23 minutes ago, Na Fan said:

why don't you go annoy someone else 🙂

 

Stick it back to him, he's not very smart!

[Liverpool Lou]

1 hour ago, Na Fan said:

- What if we were to just ignore the fact she's married in Norway. Could she get married legally elsewhere in the future?

Obviously, not.   That would be bigamy.

[Na Fan]

6 minutes ago, Dolf said:

https://www.regjeringen.no/en/topics/families-and-children/innsiktsartikler/skilsmisse-og-samlivsbrot/id670413/

 

She just needs to wait 1 year then apply

He doesnt have to sign

 

that is helpful - thank you

[Dolf]

3 minutes ago, 2baht said:

Stick it back to him, he's not very smart!

Really? I just googled divorce in Norway and found the answers 

[2baht]

Just now, Dolf said:

Really? I just googled divorce in Norway and found the answers 

Oh WOW! I sure underestimated you, Dolfo! You're a whiz kid! 

[Dolf]

Just now, Na Fan said:

 

that is helpful - thank you

The 1 year thing applies in different countries to stop people rushing into it. If violence occurs move away, wait 1 year then apply. Still need a lawyer to get any money. Settlements need to be done first. Some lawyers will take money after.

[impulse]

Just out of curiosity (because I have no advice to offer), is her passport a Thai passport, or a Laotian passport?

 

Other than the divorce, what is her objective?  Stay in Thailand, go back to Laos, or move eventually to Norway (or somewhere else)?

 

Edit:  Also, is it normal for a passport and application to be held up in the Norwegian Embassy for that long, or could something hinky be going on she may not be aware of?  If it is a Laotian passport, that would seem quite limiting for her.

 

Edited March 13 by impulse

[Dolf]

14 minutes ago, 2baht said:

Oh WOW! I sure underestimated you, Dolfo! You're a whiz kid! 

Knowing how to google stuff puts me ahead of 75% of people.

[Lacessit]

IMO probably better she stays in Thailand or Laos, makes it more difficult for the ex-husband to find her. Violent males sometimes go further, to murder.

I'll wager there are quite a few marriages here at the amphur level, where previous marriages are swept under the carpet.

[BritManToo]

50 minutes ago, Na Fan said:

 

I know. But they live here and she's a friend of ours and the neighbors, for a start.

You said he's violent, and you want to cause problems for him and attract his attention on you home and family. Best not rock the boat IMHO.

[Na Fan]

23 minutes ago, impulse said:

Just out of curiosity (because I have no advice to offer), is her passport a Thai passport, or a Laotian passport?

 

Other than the divorce, what is her objective?  Stay in Thailand, go back to Laos, or move eventually to Norway (or somewhere else)?

 

Edit:  Also, is it normal for a passport and application to be held up in the Norwegian Embassy for that long, or could something hinky be going on she may not be aware of?  If it is a Laotian passport, that would seem quite limiting for her.

 

 

She really just wants to get out of this mess and not be locked down  anymore. Her passport (Laotian) is currently still held by the embassy and they are not just returning it upon request.

 

I am wondering as well if we do not have the fully picture. The whole thing seems odd. But the embassy offered her only to "borrow" her passport (I saw that email from the embassy staff myself), which was really odd.

[impulse]

15 minutes ago, Na Fan said:

I am wondering as well if we do not have the fully picture. The whole thing seems odd. But the embassy offered her only to "borrow" her passport (I saw that email from the embassy staff myself), which was really odd.

 

Unless she wants to continue pursuing the Norwegian immigration process, I don't get that.  Maybe the embassy thinks she still wants to pursue living in Norway?  If not, I'd suggest she "borrow" it and just not return it to them.  It's not their property. 

 

At least with her passport in her hands, she has options, like traveling.  Getting her passport back would be my first priority, anyway.  The divorce from a marriage that isn't even registered in Thailand or Laos can wait.

 

Edit:  Though I'd add that her passport being held up for over a year adds a new level of complexity, since she would have needed it to renew her permission to stay and renew her WP.  Leading me to suspect that she's not working legally.  Not that I care.  Just that it adds a new wrinkle.

 

Edited March 13 by impulse

[impulse]

29 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

You said he's violent, and you want to cause problems for him and attract his attention on you home and family. Best not rock the boat IMHO.

 

I don't agree.  I've helped several Thai friends over the years with just a few $$ that didn't dent my finances at all, but made all the difference to their situation.  I did it not expecting to see the money back, but in each case, I did.  Not always immediately, but invariably. If the OP's friend is a Laos laborer working in Thailand, she may only need a few $$ of help.

 

Besides, guys who are violent with their wives are often no threat at all to another guy.

 

[Na Fan]

18 minutes ago, impulse said:

 

Unless she wants to continue pursuing the Norwegian immigration process, I don't get that.  Maybe the embassy thinks she still wants to pursue living in Norway?  If not, I'd suggest she "borrow" it and just not return it to them.  It's not their property. 

 

At least with her passport in her hands, she has options, like traveling.  Getting her passport back would be my first priority, anyway.  The divorce from a marriage that isn't even registered in Thailand or Laos can wait.

 

Edit:  Though I'd add that her passport being held up for over a year adds a new level of complexity, since she would have needed it to renew her permission to stay and renew her WP.  Leading me to suspect that she's not working legally.  Not that I care.  Just that it adds a new wrinkle.

 

Yes, we thought about the "borrowing" as well. It's hers to keep after all.

 

We asked about the visa situation here as well and she says she has been on work visas here, but she couldn't do anything about it for a year since she couldn't get her passport back. She may indeed be illegal here from the PoV of the thai immigration, though I'm not sure about the specifics. She says she has a paper confirming that her passport is with the embassy.

 

 

 

[Dolf]

1 hour ago, Na Fan said:

 

She really just wants to get out of this mess and not be locked down  anymore. Her passport (Laotian) is currently still held by the embassy and they are not just returning it upon request.

 

I am wondering as well if we do not have the fully picture. The whole thing seems odd. But the embassy offered her only to "borrow" her passport (I saw that email from the embassy staff myself), which was really odd.

Maybe she did stuff to him. Odd the police didnt charge him. She could have pulled a knife.

 

[Dan O]

19 hours ago, Na Fan said:

 

She really just wants to get out of this mess and not be locked down  anymore. Her passport (Laotian) is currently still held by the embassy and they are not just returning it upon request.

 

I am wondering as well if we do not have the fully picture. The whole thing seems odd. But the embassy offered her only to "borrow" her passport (I saw that email from the embassy staff myself), which was really odd.

You cant borrow a passport. The passport is the property of the issuing country and controlled by them. 

 Ask to "borrow" it back since it was offered and If she gets it just keep it. If they won't return it go to the police and file a lost passport report then apply at the Lao Embassy for a new one. She doesnt need or want to go back to Norway anyway. She can see if marriages outside Laos are recognized as legal if not registered. Wait the year and file for divorce for abuse and abandonment. The ring was a gift and she owns it. Its up to her on what to do with it. 

[brianthainess]

21 hours ago, Dolf said:

He still bought it.

Who let you in the room troll.

[brianthainess]

20 hours ago, Na Fan said:

 

She really just wants to get out of this mess and not be locked down  anymore. Her passport (Laotian) is currently still held by the embassy and they are not just returning it upon request.

 

I am wondering as well if we do not have the fully picture. The whole thing seems odd. But the embassy offered her only to "borrow" her passport (I saw that email from the embassy staff myself), which was really odd.

If she is in Thailand then technically she should have her passport if not on her, then with easy access. just saying.