Why Are You Even Here? The Surprising Attitudes of Some Expats in Thailand

[CharlieH]

 

Thailand, with its stunning beaches, warm climate, and unique culture, has long been a haven for expats. From retirees stretching their pensions to digital nomads seeking an affordable tropical lifestyle, many people are drawn to this vibrant country. Yet, despite the allure of the Land of Smiles, it’s surprising how many expats seem to have little interest in embracing the very culture they’ve moved into.

 

In conversations witnessed  on this forum by fellow expats, I’ve noticed a pattern: a significant number haven’t bothered to learn even basic Thai. Worse still, some openly express disdain for aspects of Thai culture and people, often making comments about the local “attitude” or complaining about things they just don’t understand. And then, there's the food—a key part of any cultural experience—where some outright reject Thai cuisine in favor of imported Western options.

This begs the obvious question: Why are you here?

The Culture Disconnect

One of the most puzzling aspects of this expat phenomenon is the disconnect with Thai culture. Learning the language is not just about communication; it’s a bridge to understanding and integrating into society. Yet many long-term expats in Thailand don’t take the time to pick up even basic Thai phrases. When asked why, the excuses range from “I don’t need it; everyone speaks English,” to “It’s just too hard to learn,” and a particularly common one: “I leave it to the wife.”

This last reason is perhaps the most revealing. Many expats rely on their Thai partners to navigate the language and culture, effectively outsourcing a key part of their integration. But learning the language, even at a conversational level, is crucial to breaking down cultural barriers. It opens doors to genuine relationships with locals, provides deeper insights into customs and traditions, and ultimately enriches the experience of living abroad. Failing to make an effort can make you feel like a permanent outsider, even after years in the country.

Disdain for the Locals

Even more surprising is the number of expats who seem to have a negative view of Thai people. Complaints about the "attitude" of locals—whether it’s the perceived lack of urgency in business dealings or frustration with how things are done here—are common. This can be especially frustrating for someone who chose to live in a country known for its relaxed pace of life and cultural differences.

Of course, no country is without its challenges, but approaching the locals with respect and understanding goes a long way. Cultural differences are inevitable, but isn’t that part of the adventure of living in a foreign country?

Rejecting Thai Cuisine

Thai food is globally celebrated, and many people travel to Thailand just to sample its incredible flavors. Yet, some expats turn their noses up at it, opting for Western food or international chains. While everyone has their preferences, avoiding local cuisine entirely suggests a lack of curiosity or desire to truly experience the country.

Living in a country and not trying its food is like reading half a book—you’re missing out on a rich and essential part of the story. Thai cuisine is as varied as its regions, from spicy curries to refreshing salads and delicious street food. By avoiding it, expats deny themselves one of the simplest pleasures Thailand has to offer.

So Why Are They Here?

If not for the culture, the food, or the people, what is keeping these expats in Thailand? The answer often boils down to three things: the weather, affordability, and ease of access to companionship.

• The Weather: Thailand’s tropical climate is a major draw for people seeking to escape harsh winters. It’s warm year-round, and for many, that’s enough to make the trade-off for cultural discomfort worth it.

• Affordability: Thailand is an attractive destination for those on fixed incomes, especially retirees. The cost of living is relatively low, and a modest pension can stretch much further than in many Western countries.

• Companionship: Thailand is also well-known for its vibrant nightlife and the ease with which foreigners can meet local women. For some expats, this is a big part of their appeal in staying long-term, though it may not be something they openly admit.

Is It Enough?

For those expats living in Thailand primarily for these reasons, the question remains: is it enough? Without a deeper connection to the culture, the food, and the people, how fulfilling can life in a foreign country really be? It seems a shame to live in such a culturally rich and welcoming place while maintaining a bubble of isolation and indifference.

Thailand has so much to offer beyond the weather and affordable living. For those willing to immerse themselves—by learning the language, embracing the food, and approaching locals with an open mind—the rewards are far greater. It’s about more than just existing in a place; it’s about truly living there.

 

Expats who continue to reject the culture and people of Thailand may find themselves missing out on the true beauty of the country. The richness of the experience lies in the interactions, the new tastes, and the ability to grow beyond one’s comfort zone. So, to those expats who struggle to connect with the culture they’ve chosen to live in, maybe it’s time to ask, “Why are you really here?”

If the answer is just the sun, cheap rent, and an easy life, you might be missing the point of living in a place like Thailand.

 

Ultimately, its what works for you and makes you happy ! but the question remains "Why did you choose to be here in Thailand, beyond the woman you married ?

[Tropicalevo]

10 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

This begs the obvious question: Why are you here?

 

Approx 300 days of sunshine

Hot weather

Cold beer

Spicy food

Lovely people

and this view

[KhunLA]

Tropical environment

Surfside views / life ?

Small mountain views

Inexpensive O & A (accommodations)

NO RE Taxes (#! for finances)

Healthcare, inexpensive & accessible (#2 for finances)

Low labor cost (all services), adds to low cost living

Easy investing (Land .. IF .. having trustworthy partner)

Easy Visa, IF meeting requirements

NO PC / Woke silliness

Closeness to CN, inexpensive Solar & EVs

Freedom for abusive govt regulation

Everything & anything can be sourced here

No major earthquakes, tornados, typhoons

Edited October 11 by KhunLA

[richard_smith237]

The points raised about some foreigners here moaning all the time is just highlighting a very vocal minority. 

 

Thailand isn't perfect and there are aspects of Thailand that I do not like, but the good outweighs the bad.... 

 

Some people will discuss or have a complaint about a negative aspect of Thailand the experience of being here is multifaceted and for most people its a 'net positive'.

 

 

 

 

[MalcolmB]

Well said Charlie. You have hit the nail on the head.

 

The most whining expats are without a doubt the ones that have not bothered to learn Thai. Always moaning. And endlessly complaining.

 

They are basically illiterate,deaf and mute. So of course they will be frustrated, especially with Thais who can not understand a word they are saying, they don’t have a clue what is going on around them. 

And no doubt the Thais must be left shaking their heads at these buffaloes.

 

Often they keep repeated the English word over and over again while pulling faces and using hand signals which just causes even more confusion. And exposing themselves to be the fools that they are.

 

And they completely socially isolated at social events such as weddings etc.

Unable to perform basic tasks without relying on their Thai wife who they expect to be a mind reader. Always with an angry face on in the Land of Smiles.

 

And ironically despite living here for years or even decades and not being able to string a simple sentence together, being unable to ask for something basic in a polite way they convince themselves that the Thai people are stupid and rude.

 

Every Thai I met who was living in England could speak English.

 

i would add that many feel entitled because they are spending their money in Thailand, mostly on prostitutes, but they feel that all Thais should lay out the red carpet for them.

 

It also leads to a paranoia, they think the Thais are talking about them, plotting against them, when the Thais are not even thinking about them.

 

Add that they can not read road safety signs, or other warnings and they become a danger on the roads.

 

They should be banned.

[MalcolmB]

5 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Thailand isn't perfect and there are aspects of Thailand that I do not like

And don’t you like to tell everyone about it.

[Ralf001]

Tropical climate.

cheap beer.

Cheap hookers.

No traffic police.

etc etc etc.

[Jingthing]

On retired status we are NOT immigrants so why play act that we are?

Edited October 11 by Jingthing

[jvs]

7 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

Well said Charlie. You have hit the nail on the head.

 

The most whining expats are without a doubt the ones that have not bothered to learn Thai. Always moaning. And endlessly complaining.

 

They are basically illiterate,deaf and mute. So of course they will be frustrated, especially with Thais who can not understand a word they are saying, they don’t have a clue what is going on around them. 

And no doubt the Thais must be left shaking their heads at these buffaloes.

 

Often they keep repeated the English word over and over again while pulling faces and using hand signals which just causes even more confusion. And exposing themselves to be the fools that they are.

 

And they completely socially isolated at social events such as weddings etc.

Unable to perform basic tasks without relying on their Thai wife who they expect to be a mind reader. Always with an angry face on in the Land of Smiles.

 

And ironically despite living here for years or even decades and not being able to string a simple sentence together, being unable to ask for something basic in a polite way they convince themselves that the Thai people are stupid and rude.

 

Every Thai I met who was living in England could speak English.

 

i would add that many feel entitled because they are spending their money in Thailand, mostly on prostitutes, but they feel that all Thais should lay out the red carpet for them.

 

It also leads to a paranoia, they think the Thais are talking about them, plotting against them, when the Thais are not even thinking about them.

 

Add that they can not read road safety signs, or other warnings and they become a danger on the roads.

 

They should be banned.

What if they boast about driving under the influence of alcohol?

Ban those too?

[madone]

living in Thailand gives me an opportunity to respond to chat gpt generated topics on the local discussion boards 

 

[MalcolmB]

1 minute ago, jvs said:

What if they boast about driving under the influence of alcohol?

Ban those too?

There are laws in place for that situation.

[impulse]

Thailand would be paradise on earth if it wasn't for the silly brown people.  And the smelly tourists from those other countries.

 

[thesetat2013]

16 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

Well said Charlie. You have hit the nail on the head.

 

The most whining expats are without a doubt the ones that have not bothered to learn Thai. Always moaning. And endlessly complaining.

 

They are basically illiterate,deaf and mute. So of course they will be frustrated, especially with Thais who can not understand a word they are saying, they don’t have a clue what is going on around them. 

And no doubt the Thais must be left shaking their heads at these buffaloes.

 

Often they keep repeated the English word over and over again while pulling faces and using hand signals which just causes even more confusion. And exposing themselves to be the fools that they are.

 

And they completely socially isolated at social events such as weddings etc.

Unable to perform basic tasks without relying on their Thai wife who they expect to be a mind reader. Always with an angry face on in the Land of Smiles.

 

And ironically despite living here for years or even decades and not being able to string a simple sentence together, being unable to ask for something basic in a polite way they convince themselves that the Thai people are stupid and rude.

 

Every Thai I met who was living in England could speak English.

 

i would add that many feel entitled because they are spending their money in Thailand, mostly on prostitutes, but they feel that all Thais should lay out the red carpet for them.

 

It also leads to a paranoia, they think the Thais are talking about them, plotting against them, when the Thais are not even thinking about them.

 

Add that they can not read road safety signs, or other warnings and they become a danger on the roads.

 

They should be banned.

What a load of drivel.... You are far from understanding what it is you have said in your reply. All you are doing is foreigner bashing. 

[OneMoreFarang]

I think it was not mentioned in the article above, even if we try to be just like Thais and mix with Thais we will most likely still always be seen as farang outsiders.

 

As far as I am concerned this is not bad, because as outsiders we don't have to play by all the Thai rules and norms.

But I think everybody who comes here and tries to integrate should be aware of this fact.

[proton]

The music, the rest is average, boring or annoying, like the online 90 day reporting which just seems to have stopped working, again.

[mokwit]

31 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

Well said Charlie. You have hit the nail on the head.

 

The most whining expats are without a doubt the ones that have not bothered to learn Thai. Always moaning. And endlessly complaining.

 

They are basically illiterate,deaf and mute. So of course they will be frustrated, especially with Thais who can not understand a word they are saying, they don’t have a clue what is going on around them. 

And no doubt the Thais must be left shaking their heads at these buffaloes.

 

Often they keep repeated the English word over and over again while pulling faces and using hand signals which just causes even more confusion. And exposing themselves to be the fools that they are.

 

And they completely socially isolated at social events such as weddings etc.

Unable to perform basic tasks without relying on their Thai wife who they expect to be a mind reader. Always with an angry face on in the Land of Smiles.

 

And ironically despite living here for years or even decades and not being able to string a simple sentence together, being unable to ask for something basic in a polite way they convince themselves that the Thai people are stupid and rude.

 

Every Thai I met who was living in England could speak English.

 

i would add that many feel entitled because they are spending their money in Thailand, mostly on prostitutes, but they feel that all Thais should lay out the red carpet for them.

 

It also leads to a paranoia, they think the Thais are talking about them, plotting against them, when the Thais are not even thinking about them.

 

Add that they can not read road safety signs, or other warnings and they become a danger on the roads.

 

They should be banned.

Why do you mix with theses types - you obviously must, to know them so well, even to the point of knowing that they think Thais are plotting against them.

[bkk6060]

I really like Thai food.  The culture is not that huge of an adjustment if one has had to adjust to different experiences in life.

As far as Thai people, of all the people who are here from other countries I would rather be around Thais then many of them.

Companionship and affordability are huge.  Actually, I do not think the weather or air here are that great several western countries are much better in that area.

[richard_smith237]

40 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

46 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Thailand isn't perfect and there are aspects of Thailand that I do not like

And don’t you like to tell everyone about it.

 

Indeed..  the biggest intolerance I have here is drink drivers and trollish twerps !!!!.... 

 

 

[pomchop]

Because there are lots of world class WHINERS who can't seem to find a positive thing to say about anything anytime anywhere.  I am so sick of hearing Ameicans and dear leader whine over and over about how horrible america is and how unfair it all is...even the big liar/loser who whines nonstop about how horrible it all is and how rigged everything is against him....is in spite of being handed several hundred million on a silver platter.

 

Thai people seem to me to be able to generally get on with their lives and play the cards they were dealt without all the excuses and non stop whining.  Maybe many expats here might someday realize that the reality is for most that they have little to whine about...if you were born a white american male you were born on third base.  

[Yagoda]

I live in luxury in Siem Reap Cambodia with an entire nation of folks wanting to serve me and world class ancient temples 1.7 miles away and I get to go to Thailand anytime I want. So my life is great. I love Thai people, I love Cambodian people and the weed is cheap and plentiful.

[Celsius]

Yeah....that article is 100% me.

[MalcolmB]

37 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Indeed..  the biggest intolerance I have here is drink drivers and trollish twerps !!!!.... 

 

 

Come on Dicky, you know you love to write in to this forum with all your gripes.

It is a hobby for you.

[MalcolmB]

45 minutes ago, mokwit said:

Why do you mix with theses types - you obviously must, to know them so well, even to the point of knowing that they think Thais are plotting against them.

No I avoid them.

i know them so well from reading this forum.

 

I have had enough of them and so does Charlie by the sounds of it.

Clever man than Charlie.

[Fat is a type of crazy]

Not sure I'd like to hear what all the Thais are saying. The culture and religion can be lovely from the outside - but a bit illogical and often oriented towards things like dreams of money and success - which is fair enough but not inspiring. It's nice to be a bit separate while hanging out in the areas I am which are tourist areas. Girlfriend speaks english when she's here. If I lived rurally or spent more time here I may need to make an effort. 

[Doctor Tom]

1 hour ago, KhunLA said:

Tropical environment

Surfside views / life ?

Small mountain views

Inexpensive O & A (accommodations)

NO RE Taxes (#! for finances)

Healthcare, inexpensive & accessible (#2 for finances)

Low labor cost (all services), adds to low cost living

Easy investing (Land .. IF .. having trustworthy partner)

Easy Visa, IF meeting requirements

NO PC / Woke silliness

Closeness to CN, inexpensive Solar & EVs

Freedom for abusive govt regulation

Everything & anything can be sourced here

No major earthquakes, tornados, typhoons

I agree that list.  I have no religious affiliation, or interest and no great interest in Thai culture,  I stand aside from too much involvement, as immigration do to me.  I am a temporary visitor in their eyes and I'm okay with that, so no incentive to learn the language either. I spend my money here, so they gain from my minor economic impact, that's enough for me, as it should be for them.  

[theblether]

Far too many "expats" in Thailand are effectively adult special needs children. 

 

They rely upon their "wives" who are effectively care workers to wheel them through life, holding their hands like the old blue bus brigade we used to see going to special schools back in the UK. 

 

This is the same brigade that go red with rage when immigrants refuse to integrate into their home countries. The hypocrisy is astounding and any man that sets out to reduce themselves to the intellectual capacity of a child in society has something wrong with their head. 

[mikebike]

1 hour ago, thesetat2013 said:

What a load of drivel.... You are far from understanding what it is you have said in your reply. All you are doing is foreigner bashing. 

Awww, you tender snowflake. Need a tissue?

[theblether]

The worst I ever met was a man who boasted about visiting Thailand for the first time in 1969, and who had been married to a Thai while living in Thailand for 16 years. 

 

This guy did not know the Thai word for toilet. 

 

My mutual friend told me that his Thai family treat him as if he was intellectually disabled. Truthfully, he deserves it. 

[Hummin]

I was in Thailand for the Islands, beaches, seasonal climates, and affordable prices while I was climbing, kayaking, diving, and meeting people back when the Nok was strong compared to Thai baht. It used to be a nice destination where I could take a time out from work and travel. I think most know the paradise it used to be long gone by now, but I found a girl at my supposedly last trip to Thailand. 

 

I tried to live here now for 8 years, but the last april heat together with the smoke and the possibility of being taxed for my living cost killed my spirit staying here completely, and I moved back.

 

I was quite positive until one day, I just had enough, and at that point the walls just fell in from every side. 

 

The beaches is not what they used to be, to much tourists on those places that used to be very chill, welcoming and nice with great local food without sugar often served in banana leaves just as an example of how things have changed. Internet have found its way all over thailand, there is no escapes anymore. Well so many things I could say, but I was here for the nice climate, quiet beaches clean food, clean air, and friendly people, those times is gone. At least my own illusion of how it used to be, is gone. 

[johng]

15 minutes ago, theblether said:

Far too many "expats" in Thailand are effectively adult special needs children. 

 

They rely upon their "wives" who are effectively care workers to wheel them through life, holding their hands like the old blue bus brigade we used to see going to special schools back in the UK. 

Ha ha,I kind of agree and disagree at the same time...yes many need hand holding..but don't really see a problem with that, they are trying to intergrate in an alien environment via "proxy wife"..the language barrier can be huge..dealing with Thai bureaucracy is a challenge for everyone,should they try harder to navigate the intricacies themselves  ? probably.

Do I blame them for not wanting to and delegating to someone else...mostly no.