I have been thinking about this because I know a few guys whose situations all look a bit similar. When they first got married their wives were working and life seemed pretty good. Two incomes and a future that appeared reasonably comfortable. But over the years things changed a bit. The wives lost their jobs for one reason or another and never really went back to work. Became housewives, for lack of a better word. Now the household income has simply become a single income, and in all the cases I've seen the husband is not exactly rolling in money.

None of these guys are broke, but they are definitely not in the position they expected to be in either. Now they are the sole earners, taking on the entire financial load of two people with a future where retirement might come much later than they once expected. On top of that, the marriages themselves do not exactly look full of energy or connection anymore. They have been together for quite a long time. There are no kids involved, and from the outside it rather looks like the relationship has slowly shifted into something more like convenience and familiarity rather than a strong and caring partnership.

So it raises a serious question. If a guy ends up in a situation where he is doing all the earning, the marriage has lost much of its spark, and there are no children holding the situation together, what is the practical reason for the man to stay in that situation? I wonder if they would actually be better off their own, both financially and personally.

Everyone is different and people have their own reasons for the choices they make, but when you see the same pattern repeating itself a few times, you start to wonder why nobody ever seems willing to question whether the situation they are in still makes sense.

13 minutes ago, FriscoKid said:

, the marriage has lost much of its spark, and there are no children

Yeah, wife is now getting flabby, no sex etc., probably why we have a few here who are always grumpy.

Guys have made the wrong choices in life.

Be like me, I always have a new model, young and gorgeous, also 6 beautiful children.

Do you risk everything for a fresh start, possibly with someone who’s just after your Bitcoin wallet and your left shoe? Or do you stay with the one who knows all your quirks, bad habits, and that time you ate an entire pizza in one sitting… and still somehow looks at you like you’re not that bad? Decisions, decisions. 😂

The problem stems from the women prioritising money over someone they really like and that comes to the surface eventually. Maybe those men fear being single, but probably it's the financial loss if they get divorced is a deterrent

52 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Yeah, wife is now getting flabby, no sex etc., probably why we have a few here who are always grumpy.

Guys have made the wrong choices in life.

Be like me, I always have a new model, young and gorgeous, also 6 beautiful children.

Ahhhh.

Safety Catch is off again.

Amazing.🙃🙃

1 hour ago, Lucky Bones said:

Ahhhh.

Safety Catch is off again.

Amazing.🙃🙃

Yes, it's amazing that someone here can post a positive comment.

Its obvious the grumpy guys here only have negative comments to make about Thailand

Having a wife who do not work, gives freedom!

But if you economically depended on the womans salery to be happy, that is not good.

Asian women reach an age where there is not easy to find new positions anymore no matter education or experience.

18 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Yes, it's amazing that someone here can post a positive comment.

Its obvious the grumpy guys here only have negative comments to make about Thailand

Just have to accept, what you find positive about Thailand where you can change women as your mood changes, not everyone see the positivity you see, or having 6 kids :D

How many mothers?

3 hours ago, FriscoKid said:

I have been thinking about this because I know a few guys whose situations all look a bit similar. When they first got married their wives were working and life seemed pretty good. Two incomes and a future that appeared reasonably comfortable. But over the years things changed a bit. The wives lost their jobs for one reason or another and never really went back to work. Became housewives, for lack of a better word. Now the household income has simply become a single income, and in all the cases I've seen the husband is not exactly rolling in money.

This was always their plan.

They didn't lose their jobs, they just prefer to live off a man.

In the west

Then they divorce and take everything because their husband 'didn't let them work'

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

Asian women reach an age where there is not easy to find new positions anymore no matter education or experience.

At 55, mine is definitely NOT into new positions.

1 minute ago, wil iam not said:

At 55, mine is definitely NOT into new positions.

That was dry,

3 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

but probably it's the financial loss if they get divorced is a deterrent

What financial loss for the man if they get divorced if the wife does not work?

7 minutes ago, K2938 said:

What financial loss for the man if they get divorced if the wife does not work?

Half of everything accrued during the marriage. If there's children, she will likely get the house if bought during the marriage, until the child turns 18, where it can be sold, proceeds split, or one bought out.

Present wife works a lot more now, than when employed. Normal house cleaning chores of a stay at home wife of the 50s & 60s. Plus home repair & maintenance.

I've turned her into a jack of all trades, so she's self sufficient after I crap out. She could literally build a house with a crew. She won't let me do anything, not that I would, outside, as I'd just hire someone. To damn hot half the time. She won't hire anyone, as she can do a better job than most 'tradesman', and too thrifty to pay someone.

Then she takes care of the garden & Greenhouse, along with other 3 lots. More weed control on those 3. Hires help once or twice a month, or after we come back from and O&A, as playing catch up is too much, especially during rainy season.

I'm a LPOS, and not taking any chances with my back. I behave, it behaves. My duties involve taking the dog for a walk, couple times a day, and taking photos or vids. Oh yea, lot of shopping, cooking & occasionally doing the dishes.

1st wife didn't work, no prob.

2nd wife had excellent job, though hated I could sit on porch bbq & sip beer 5 days a week, and make as much money as her in 2 days.

3rd wife (Thai) didn't work. We played tourist, almost 24/7 as first 3 years for me in Thailand, as I tried to see every province.

1st live in worked at same airlines, and great plus, as we travelled all over, abusing flight bennies.

2nd live in didn't work, scamming the system, free everything; housing, food, healthcare.

I personally don't care if they work or not, and prefer them not to. Present wife, was mandatory not to work, if being with me, as no desire to be alone all day. Along with going O&A when ever I want, unplanned. I don't do schedules. Never have, hence the multiple job changes.

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

Having a wife who do not work, gives freedom!

Many women in Thailand have to support their parents.

Which means it might be YOU if she doesn't work.

If you're good to go with the finances, then you're good to go.

But in many cases, it won't be cheap.

It is simply a complete different story, big time, entirely, as soon you start having children in Thailand.

You get absolutely nothing while you suddenly need to pay for everything as well for 2-3 people total. I have done the calculations a few times and basically even at 3000 a month I would be better off in Europe, comparable, if looking at schooling being free, pension build up, cost of opportunity (mortgage), contributions for children, infinite jobs or a extra psychical job when wanted or needed on demand and so on and on.

This changes the entire 'you could live single of as little as 1K a month' to 'you need to at least 5-7K' or you basically are living a substandard life. I actually came here with just 1.5K a month and now do well over 5K, I lived better single alone 15 years ago on the 1.5K. I basically would have the same life in Europe for just 3K a month, purely due to all being arranged there by the system properly.

Suddenly to pay taxes is peanuts: People always leave out the value of all things you receive; state pension, free school, money if sick etc etc. Just to do this part yourself instead on the same level, which is base level, takes 1500-2000 a month. Tax on 3.5K would be 400 lol in EU.

Then in terms of having a family and the Thai girlfriend or wife working, that rarely makes any sense at all. Just to hire a baby sitter or maid would cost half or the full wage the Thai can earn. Even at a 40-50K inter school it still scores merely a 7.5/10 in quality.

Then we never even spoke for a minute about getting sick for a few years or losing income for a few years, over a 20-30 year timespan. Or the fact one is treated like a criminal by immigration regardless of doing all the above.

I call it the invisible credit card without interest people use. Many are in debt to themselves big time and should have left long ago.

Then we not even spoke inflation yet, it is easy to forget that in the west even as a cleaner, 3 days a week, as a couple, would bring in 100-120K a month, in Europe or USA. I am confident that except for those retired already, most people, would be better off even doing X visits a year to Thailand. In fact, it's those type of people who always appear happiest and have decade long marriages with Thais.

Sure one might be rich already, but that would be a 0.1% exception. The system is designed for you to work fulltime and just have a little bit more than the fixed costs are, this keeps everyone in line.

Then again realize I have this perception while earning far above 5K, if I am worried, anyone earning less def. should. Could you live on peanuts in the sticks and send the kid to a monk school too? Yes you could but in the west that would be called neglecting care and duty.

Mine stopped working the moment we finished building 'our' 😂 Issan McMansion, the daily upkeep of which (including supervision/management of about 100+ rai of surrounding agri lands she owns) is basically a full time job. It was never discussed prior but once I realized how much work is involved I suggested it. Five years later and all is good.

1 hour ago, save the frogs said:

Many women in Thailand have to support their parents.

Which means it might be YOU if she doesn't work.

If you're good to go with the finances, then you're good to go.

But in many cases, it won't be cheap.

That's right in some cases, and they can be useful resources and not just a burden.

You choose Thailand, you choose a Thai woman, and you can choose a Thai woman with family, who suits you!

Rest assured, she will be having a great time when she has to go for that "appointment"...and daily run to the spa....

Finding the right woman is key. A good woman will understand she needs to add value to the relationship.

Keep herself in shape and look after her health and the health of her husband. Manage the house if she's not working, manage the housekeeper if she is.

Mine's still looking hot, works in our business part time to help financially and looks after me full time.

In Thailand women also know they can be replaced with a willing, younger model.

2 hours ago, K2938 said:

What financial loss for the man if they get divorced if the wife does not work?

Maybe loss of house, car etc, financial liability if have children

Other way around for me.

Wife regularly works 12/14 hour day's either in our (her) restaurant and bar and/or harvesting sugarcane/yams.

I find it quite exhausting to watch.

4 hours ago, save the frogs said:

Many women in Thailand have to support their parents.

I am so happy my Mrs's parents kicked it long before I met her.

Now just two at Uni to pay for.

Not sure if others do this but well before marriage we discussed how to handle it. We mutually agreed that she would take care of inside the house - cooking cleaning and so on - and I would take care of the outside - earning the money and pay for overseas holidays.

Obviously, after 20-30 years she said she was not into sex, which I interpreted to mean, do what you want outside for relief but don't tell me.

We have been together over 35 years and still enjoy each other's company.

I support my long term GF, de facto wife, who doesn't work. I'm happy to support her and assist elderly parents. She is NOT happy as she really wants to work (clever lady) and would be a huge asset to any service oriented establishment such as a restaurant or bar here in Thailand. The issue is, she is not Thai so unable to work here. She is so desperate to work that we are considering a move to Phnom Penh where she (and I) can either work easily or start a business. I love Thailand and would rather stay here for now. At least, she goes to the gym each day to maintain her milf 6 pack and figure. I'm not complaining. 😀

16 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Be like me, I always have a new model, young and gorgeous, also 6 beautiful children.

Honest question.

Do you or did you support all of the children throughout their lives until adults . No ill intention just curious.

Mine works non stop

Is there a correct answer? Everybody is different so do what makes sense.

My partner works. She enjoys it, I like having a bit of space and means she has some independence. I don’t mind paying for big ticket items but she can go to the market, buy clothes, makeup or whatever without asking and without me giving her an allowance.

I can certainly see the benefit of a partner not working eg

• Have children to look after

• You want to travel a lot and they can’t find flexible work

• You’re retired / live in a remote location and want company

• You found her in a bar / massage parlour and don’t want to share her any more 😝

15 hours ago, wil iam not said:

At 55, mine is definitely NOT into new positions.

im teaching mine to stand on her head, then i'll be able to just drop it in

Is the OP whinging specifically about Thailand ? I'm not sure he's aware that all he has written is relevant to just about everywhere,