my gf want me to buy her a house.

[pattayalover]

I am in a 7 years relationship with a very nice and generous Thai lady. she is 10 years younger than me, she is little bit on the cheap side as she comes from a poor family. that's good, she always find good deal for me and offer me plenty of free clothes.

she is not a lady bar and has a job that pay not a lot.

she want me to build her a new house for maybe 400000 bahts. she has already the land and a very old house in wood. she has old parent and a sister that I met 3 times.

I told her that if I give her money for a house i want be able to live inside and not been kick out.

I want protect myself.

how can I proceed?

[Fithman]

Get some good legal advice ?

[lopburi3]

After a 7 year relationship payback of 400k for her and her family might not be that great a personal loss even if worst came to past.  If she is only asking for that amount do not believe you are really being taken advantage of.  

[phetphet]

Usufruct maybe?

[tonray]

Get legal advice and ask about a lease and /or usufruct to allow you legal residence in the house even though you cannot own the land it will sit on.

[Kwasaki]

 

11 minutes ago, pattayalover said:

I told her that if I give her money for a house i want be able to live inside and not been kick out.

I want protect myself.

how can I proceed?

 

Ask her to take you with her and arrange a 30 year lease at the local government office, if she won't do it, then it's up you.

If she says it can't be done that is not true. 

[jonw8uk]

but whatever legal protection you may have, do you think that if you do break up, you'd still be living in the house with your ex and her family?

 

Sounds like an awkward living arrangement that you'd soon walk away from

[realviking48]

"arrange a 30 year lease" .. His girl-friend/her Family.. still can made him impossible to live/stay in that house?

Not better.. if He puts up a loan on the house.. registered...(his money) she (he) pays off yearly... so long she owe him money.. he will not been cicket out?

[pumpjack]

45 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

 

 

Ask her to take you with her and arrange a 30 year lease at the local government office, if she won't do it, then it's up you.

If she says it can't be done that is not true. 

 

yes !!   i agree with kawasaki  !!!

 

now listen to reason please,   first thing do not jump in,  think long and hard about this,  

can you afford it ?    

is your relationship strong ?    

will you be back and forward to thaialnd and be here enough to enjoy living it this house ?

can you really live in an isaan village ? 

 

i have built my wife a house in isaan 10 years ago,  at the time we were in strong relationship but now we are finished,  at the time i had a little money but now i have none,  at the time i thought i could live in isaan village but now i could never live life there.  

 

now my house is lying gathering dirt and probably her family living in it ,  probably resembles a pig sty too.

 

best of luck to you 

[Gecko123]

Your girlfriend's 400K price tag for a house brought back a flood of memories. That was the same estimate that my wife gave me when I asked her how much a house would cost. The truth is that 400K won't get you much, especially if construction labor isn't provided by family members. Maybe a cinderblock structure, fiberglass tile/galvanized tin roof, maybe one bedroom, wooden shutters for windows. Suffice it to say that in the end, my house ended up costing substantially more than that.

 

Getting back to your question, if your primary concern is being able to continue living in the house you paid for after a breakup, my advice is DON'T DO IT. If the house is to be built on the family plot of land, all the family relatives are going to be there. In the event things go south, there will no way to force a sale, or recoup your investment in the house, and it will be virtually impossible to continue living there surrounded by the family.  Better to lease land in your name away from the family plot, and build there. If you really want to guarantee your right to stay in the house, your best bet is a condo in your name. If you decide to build the house on family land, you have to go in thinking of it as a gift, and with the understanding that you'll have to leave if things go south. 

[Fookhaht]

The forgoing must be a very region-specific price.  

You'd be amazed at what 100K to 200K can buy you in Isaan, especially if new construction provided by locals (micromanaged) or yourself.  I've been researching this for a year, and just about ready to build.  

Wanna bring the price down?  Get an Isaan bar-girl.  

Or just move up there by yourself and do your housing research/planning  (my method).    

Edited October 15, 2016 by Fookhaht

[Gecko123]

39 minutes ago, Fookhaht said:

The forgoing must be a very region-specific price.  

You'd be amazed at what 100K to 200K can buy you in Isaan, especially if new construction provided by locals (micromanaged) or yourself.  I've been researching this for a year, and just about ready to build.  

Wanna bring the price down?  Get an Isaan bar-girl.  

Or just move up there by yourself and do your housing research/planning  (my method).    

 

I anticipated someone weighing in with claims such as the above. Construction material costs are pretty standard around Thailand, and with plenty of trips down to the local construction supply center, I think I've got a got a pretty good handle on those costs. I don't live in Isaan, but I live in a very rural area in central Thailand. 

 

My neighbor, whose two sons contributed much of the labor, built a house very much in line with the construction I described in my post. I also know in detail what type of home my father-in-law was able to build for 200K, with his three sons contributing labor, absolutely nothing to do with a foreigner.

 

You can build a decent house in Thailand for 100K ($2,857/GBP 2,273)? The price of two Honda Wave motorbikes? LOL. Laughably preposterous. Believe that at your own risk. 

Edited October 15, 2016 by Gecko123

[notmyself]

Don't do it.

[Dipterocarp]

Buy yourself a trip to Las Vegas and put $10,000 in the slots instead. Better odds.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[brianinbangkok]

Simply answer is do not do it.
Buy a condo in your name.
Invite her to move in with you.
When/ If things go wrong and the relationship ends she has to leave the condo and its all yours. Build a house on her family land and regardless of legal protection you will not want to stay there anyway.

Lets say you are in same situation in your home country.
You have to pay to build a house on your local gf's land. Would you put the house on her name ?

Only do it if you can afford to walk away from the money.

[lopburi3]

Donald would be proud - is about all I can say.  

Obviously this is a locker room.  

 

[brianinbangkok]

Donald would be proud - is about all I can say.  rr
Obviously this is a locker room.  
 

I see no link to Donald's disrespect to females and this thread ?
Most remarks are about his legal position.
It's just a bad idea to buy a house on your gf's name in any country unless you can afford to lose the money.

[trainman34014]

In Thailand there is a golden rule.......Only spend what you can afford to walk away from.     To you it's about love; to her it's about ''Looking after my family''.....never forget that.

[khunpa]

You make her take the maximum loan possible in the bank and just pay the deposit.

 

This will ensure at least some kind commitment, until the house is paid in full. Gives you around 10 years together :-) When house is fully paid off, you will then find out if it is true love or not.

Edited October 15, 2016 by khunpa

[scorecard]

1 hour ago, Gecko123 said:

Your girlfriend's 400K price tag for a house brought back a flood of memories. That was the same estimate that my wife gave me when I asked her how much a house would cost. The truth is that 400K won't get you much, especially if construction labor isn't provided by family members. Maybe a cinderblock structure, fiberglass tile/galvanized tin roof, maybe one bedroom, wooden shutters for windows. Suffice it to say that in the end, my house ended up costing substantially more than that.

 

Getting back to your question, if your primary concern is being able to continue living in the house you paid for after a breakup, my advice is DON'T DO IT. If the house is to be built on the family plot of land, all the family relatives are going to be there. In the event things go south, there will no way to force a sale, or recoup your investment in the house, and it will be virtually impossible to continue living there surrounded by the family.  Better to lease land in your name away from the family plot, and build there. If you really want to guarantee your right to stay in the house, your best bet is a condo in your name. If you decide to build the house on family land, you have to go in thinking of it as a gift, and with the understanding that you'll have to leave if things go south. 

 

"... all the family relatives are going to be there."

 

On this point I hope your aware that in many cases extended family just turn up;  they don't ask first, they don't wait for an invitation, and long-stay / permanent stay could be part of the story. Turning them away is pretty much impossible, and demanding that your wife /gf tell them to leave won't work, she will never do that. 

 

They often expect that they can just walk in and dump boxes of fruit and whatever everywhere including stacked all over the living room and kitchen furniture etc., and make the yard a total ugly mess, they often have no hesitation to move the TV without asking, and turn up the volume to very loud, change the channel without asking from your CNN show to a Thai joker show, etc. And they will expect food and drink to be laid on.

 

All part of traditional Thai family stuff and it's not going to change quickly.   
 

[Phatbeets]

I believe they typically ask for that as a kind of insurance in case the relationship breaks up so that they don't end up with nothing.

 

Same same with my wife after 8 years of marriage in Europe. Imo its understandable and justifiable.

 

+ Most Issan girls dream about returning in their village in their old days

 

I was wondering if it would be possible to get an agreement with a letter of renunciation related to marriage assets and savings?

Means you buy her a house ONLY IF she agrees that she wont claim anything else in case of a divorce.

 

I have no marriage settlement . Luckily my relations is in a very good shape but you never know what the future brings...

[oz457]

I think the OP (original poster) has the right to get a very clever answer.

If your girlfriend is willing you to buy a house for her, she needs to earn it. Or even better earn it together. I suggest not to give in and talk with her. Tell her that in our Western standards, if you as a couple want to get something, you both have to work for it.

Tell her to put about 5.000 to 10.000 baht of savings aside and start to get to the 400.000 baht.

Imagine, 5.000 baht each, 1 year is 60.000 baht per peson, thus 120.000 baht for both a year.

After 3 years, you have the amount and you can start build the house.

If you just give her the money, she will not feel like she has earned it. And let me tell you a story so you understand me better. You better give this example to your girlfriend, because this is the truth.

When I was working for a company about 17 years ago, I got a car for free, the fuel card for free. It was all offered by the company. Well.. I drove like a madman with this car. Not taking care of it at all.

But when I started to work and I had to earn my car myself, believe me, the day I bought my own car with my own hard earned money, I was taking so much care of the car, because I was working for it for 3 years.

Well, what I want to tell you, is that love is not to be measured on how much she gets or what she gets. Love is measured in what you realize together and if you are worth both sacrifices on doing so. If she is not open for the idea, i'm sorry to say to you, but she is only interested in the money, not the relationship.

In Thailand, and Thai culture, the misperception of a Thai lady with a Farang is: why hasn't she received a car/house/nice skirt, etc. from her rich bf.

I have had many conflict situation about this and this is an area of conflict in many relationships in Thailand. We can respect their culture, but they have to respect ours too.

[connda]

1 hour ago, brianinbangkok said:

Simply answer is do not do it.
Buy a condo in your name.
Invite her to move in with you.
When/ If things go wrong and the relationship ends she has to leave the condo and its all yours. Build a house on her family land and regardless of legal protection you will not want to stay there anyway.

Lets say you are in same situation in your home country.
You have to pay to build a house on your local gf's land. Would you put the house on her name ?

Only do it if you can afford to walk away from the money.

 

 

If you're not married and holding a Usufruct on the house, I'd have to agree with brianinbangkok.  As a single guy, buy a condo and have her move in.  If after 7 years you haven't committed to a marriage, then neither of you are completely committed.  If she is 10 years younger than you, you're maybe building her a house for her new bf/husband.  Well, imho.  I've been married 8 years, I have a better relationship with my Thai family than my family in the US,  I'm well known in our village, my wife is post-menopausal and close to my own age, and I have a Usufruct.  If you can say that, then build a house.  Best of luck.

[Mekong Thunder]

"my gf want me to buy her a house."

 

When was the last time somebody bought you a house?

[Mekong Thunder]

Why would anyone put themselves into this position,where all the risk is on their side AND they are the ones paying the money out,with none on the side of the person not paying a single penny piece it just makes no sense whatsoever?
If you are together forever with no problems and how likely is that?It may just work out for you yet if anything goes wrong you forfeit everything and the house takes all,it is one of the most unevenly-weighted bets to take in the history of betting wake up man!

[kannot]

11 minutes ago, Mekong Thunder said:

"my gf want me to buy her a house."

 

When was the last time somebody bought you a house?

1996, £42k  did it up sold 3  years  later for £175 k, split  the  profit............repeat =£££s         (ex  girlfriend)

[Mekong Thunder]

Just now, kannot said:

1996, £42k  did it up sold 3  years  later for £175 k, split  the  profit............repeat =£££s         (ex  girlfriend)

Was this in Thailand?

[Naam]

4 hours ago, jonw8uk said:

but whatever legal protection you may have, do you think that if you do break up, you'd still be living in the house with your ex and her family?

 

Sounds like an awkward living arrangement that you'd soon walk away from

there's a sister to fall back if...

[Deepinthailand]

4 hours ago, pumpjack said:

 

yes !!   i agree with kawasaki  !!!

 

now listen to reason please,   first thing do not jump in,  think long and hard about this,  

can you afford it ?    

is your relationship strong ?    

will you be back and forward to thaialnd and be here enough to enjoy living it this house ?

can you really live in an isaan village ? 

 

i have built my wife a house in isaan 10 years ago,  at the time we were in strong relationship but now we are finished,  at the time i had a little money but now i have none,  at the time i thought i could live in isaan village but now i could never live life there.  

 

now my house is lying gathering dirt and probably her family living in it ,  probably resembles a pig sty too.

 

best of luck to you 

Am I missing something !!! Where in the op was Issan mention? ???.

[nottocus]

After 7 years you should know what to do. If you are writing on some online forum asking for advice then I don't like your chances