What makes 30-something single Thai women to seek "guys from 18 to 40 y.o."

[elzach]

I see this on Thai dating sites very often, so I wanted to ask in this forum to see if we can have a genuine discussion and some thoughts from the ladies here (and hopefully and especially from Thai ladies). Moderators, please move if inappropriate here.

 

Now for some disclosures. I'm a late forties male, I am always told I look much younger than my age, plus I have lots of energy and I work out regularly, so dating women in their 30s, or even 20s, is never an issue. The thing is, I spend the biggest part of the year in China, where you'll never see the above-referenced title. For example, a 38 y.o. Chinese woman will always, generally, look for "guys from 37 to 45 y.o.", along those lines. The sought-after age group in China is well defined and rather narrow, since the aim is always to have a long-term relationship that leads to marriage, or marriage outright.

 

Which leads us to the crux of the issue. What could possibly 18 or 20 y.o. men have to offer to Thai women 30 to 40 y.o? If in the West we believe that men in their early 20s are still "babies", then in Thailand they may be considered "infants". Money and well-being is also probably not a motive, since many of these mid-30s Thai women probably have more money (and a car and a house) than any 20 y.o. in Thailand. Ability in bed is also (highly) questionable, but of course I'm not an expert on Thai men aged 18-25.

 

Again, let's stay on the specific issue and age group and nationality folks. A 20-year difference means much less to a 50 y.o. than to a 38 y.o. Also, a 38 y.o. Thai woman could very well have a son 20 y.o.

 

And again, no trolling please.

 

Edited July 8, 2017 by elzach

[metisdead]

Quote

 Moderators, please move if inappropriate here.

 

Discussion of this nature is not intended for the Ladies in Thailand forum, moving to the General forum. 

[seajae]

many thai women prefer older western men because they are more mature than thai males(in most cases), thai men are still adolescent until their 30's and beyond. Thai men also find it hard to commit to one women, all this is from many female friends of my wife, I was amazed at how they all agree about thai males, there are some that are ok but they are as scarce as rocking horse sh*t.

[KhaoNiaw]

Quote

Which leads us to the crux of the issue. What could possibly 18 or 20 y.o. men have to offer to Thai women 30 to 40 y.o? ..... Ability in bed is also (highly) questionable, but of course I'm not an expert on Thai men aged 18-25.

Questionable maybe, but it's probably the perception. I know a few Thai women who are basically doing what their husbands do. From what I can make out, they no longer have a physical relationship with the husband and a younger guy seems physically more desirable. And unlikely to expect to develop into a full long-term relationship. 

 

I used to live opposite a family where the husband and wife almost seemed to alternate between bringing their younger others home. They managed to avoid their three daughters and it almost seemed coordinated. They could also function as a perfect-looking family going to school events etc. 

[bill59]

In 26 years of my immigration law practice I just haven't seen these kind of couples from Thailand applying for visas to the US so likely not long term situations. I see a lot of older guys with a much younger gf or wife but that's not just common to Thailand.


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[starky]

I dont know what makes 50-60 year old men look for 18-25 year old Thai girls? Haha also loving the I'm late 40's very young looking with lots of energy and I work out so girls in their 20's no problem (hansom man syndrome?) yeah right mate. Try that with a 20 year old girl back in your own country and tell me how you go not with a prostitute or a disadvantaged farm girl who would go with any geriatric for a little financial "assistance". While we are on the topic what is your opinion on the many falang here that choose partners who are not only young enough to be their daughters but more likely their granddaughters?  Any views on that? So I guess what your saying is that it's fine for hansom falang to look for much younger women but not for Thai women to be interested in much younger men as they couldn't possibly have anything to offer.. Racist and hypocritical much?

Edited July 8, 2017 by starky

[samsensam]

 

and vice versa.

[jerojero]

Mai pben rai. To each his own. Stick to minding your own business. Whatever makes two people happy together. Next...

[Bang Bang]

17 hours ago, elzach said:

Now for some disclosures. I'm a late forties male, I am always told I look much younger than my age, plus I have lots of energy and I work out regularly, so dating women in their 30s, or even 20s, is never an issue.

Tip to the OP : don't say things like this unless it's relevant to the topic. Which it isn't. Otherwise, you come across as insecure. Which then causes people to wonder if the rest of your post is a serious query or expression of yet another personal issue.

[Rc2702]

All that for one very simple question.

 

Ok so the question amongst that soundbite is simply. 

 

Do older thai birds 35-45 go for young guys 18-24?

 

Answer. The need to be with a youthful man may be the reason and of course; vice versa.

 

 

[Berkshire]

9 hours ago, seajae said:

many thai women prefer older western men because they are more mature than thai males(in most cases), thai men are still adolescent until their 30's and beyond. Thai men also find it hard to commit to one women, all this is from many female friends of my wife, I was amazed at how they all agree about thai males, there are some that are ok but they are as scarce as rocking horse sh*t.

These kinds of comments never make any sense to me when you consider that something like 90%+ of Thai females are in fact with Thai men.  But I do concede that many Thai women in relationships with farangs--and those desperate to find ANYONE to "take care"--may say such things.

[robblok]

5 hours ago, starky said:

I dont know what makes 50-60 year old men look for 18-25 year old Thai girls? Haha also loving the I'm late 40's very young looking with lots of energy and I work out so girls in their 20's no problem (hansom man syndrome?) yeah right mate. Try that with a 20 year old girl back in your own country and tell me how you go not with a prostitute or a disadvantaged farm girl who would go with any geriatric for a little financial "assistance". While we are on the topic what is your opinion on the many falang here that choose partners who are not only young enough to be their daughters but more likely their granddaughters?  Any views on that? So I guess what your saying is that it's fine for hansom falang to look for much younger women but not for Thai women to be interested in much younger men as they couldn't possibly have anything to offer.. Racist and hypocritical much?

That is the whole point Thai woman just want real good looking guys too the reason they settle for older fat white guys is money. No need to sugar coat it.. but independent woman can make their own choices. I had a Thai friend who made quite nice money and had older white guys hitting on her and she told me she could never live with an ugly old guy for money.. and was happy she did not have too. Many don't have that choice. 

 

Personally I have dated a few girls in their early 20ies but found them a bit too young for a relation.. Great for sex though. 

[Berkshire]

5 hours ago, starky said:

I dont know what makes 50-60 year old men look for 18-25 year old Thai girls? Haha also loving the I'm late 40's very young looking with lots of energy and I work out so girls in their 20's no problem (hansom man syndrome?) yeah right mate. Try that with a 20 year old girl back in your own country and tell me how you go not with a prostitute or a disadvantaged farm girl who would go with any geriatric for a little financial "assistance". While we are on the topic what is your opinion on the many falang here that choose partners who are not only young enough to be their daughters but more likely their granddaughters?  Any views on that? So I guess what your saying is that it's fine for hansom falang to look for much younger women but not for Thai women to be interested in much younger men as they couldn't possibly have anything to offer.. Racist and hypocritical much?

Valid points.  The OP said "What could possibly 18 or 20 y.o. men have to offer to Thai women 30 to 40 y.o?"  Many 30-40 yr old women can say the same about men seeking 18-20 yr old females.  And the men's answers will never make any sense to said women.

[Peterw42]

Interesting observations OP,  I think there are some basic Thai cultural things that come into play. Thailand basically has a respect for elders thing built into the culture, language etc, in general they are less ageist. Big age differences in relationship are reasonably common, trust security etc being more important. 

 

There appears to be a magic age of 34 where a Thai woman seriously thinks she has missed the boat, and while 20 years older was always an option, 20 years younger gets added to possible partners. 

 

I experienced this in Australia 4-5 years ago, on dateing sites etc, most women were listing a preference for 10-15 years younger, at age 50 this meant I would have been dating 60-65 year old woman.

Edited July 9, 2017 by Peterw42

[wildewillie89]

11 hours ago, seajae said:

many thai women prefer older western men because they are more mature than thai males(in most cases), thai men are still adolescent until their 30's and beyond. Thai men also find it hard to commit to one women, all this is from many female friends of my wife, I was amazed at how they all agree about thai males, there are some that are ok but they are as scarce as rocking horse sh*t.

Really? Many of my Thai female friends (20-35) who I had when I was living back in Melbourne were with, wait for it, other Thai males that also lived in Melbourne. Ones seeking serious relationships anyway. Funnily enough the Thai males were usually one or two years younger than them. My wife is also 2 years older than me. 

The 'mature' talk is just some spill they give to the man to make him feel better. We have all met these 'mature' Western men haha. The reason they prefer 'older' Western men is due to the fact they have something they want. The same way the exact 'young' Thai women also have 'older' Thai men too (something people forget). They are getting financial security, or a car paid off each month, whatever. Which is completely fine too, but your generalisation is I think way off. Otherwise 100% of Thai woman would be seeking a 'older' farang, not probably less than the 1% of the country that actually are. 
 

Edited July 9, 2017 by wildewillie89

[Zyxel]

3 hours ago, Berkshire said:

Valid points.  The OP said "What could possibly 18 or 20 y.o. men have to offer to Thai women 30 to 40 y.o?"  Many 30-40 yr old women can say the same about men seeking 18-20 yr old females.  And the men's answers will never make any sense to said women.

 

Edited July 9, 2017 by Zyxel

[stephenterry]

I guess anyone resorting to a Thai dating site would, in the first instance, look for a younger partner whether male or female. but in the main it would be individual taste if looking for a long-term partner rather than a few quickies.  It might come as a surprise, but 40+ year old females citing young as 20 as a dating partner enjoy sex, and what better than a young stud to supply it. 

 

IMO, go with the flow, and if you're both happy then go for it.

 

[Zyxel]

6 minutes ago, stephenterry said:

............ It might come as a surprise, but 40+ year old females citing young as 20 as a dating partner enjoy sex, and what better than a young stud to supply it. ................

 

 

 

[dotpoom]

My wife says it's because ladies that age are tired working and are looking for somebody to take care of them.

    Sounds about right to me.

[connda]

Amazing.  It's OK for a 80 year old guy to hook up with a 20 year old, but, but, but, "what is it with this women preying on younger men."  

Maybe women are looking for younger guys for the same reason that the Nov-January guys are looking at younger women.  Ain't no difference.  

[pumpjack]

SIMPLE ANSWER   -    MONEY !!

[abrahamzvi]

10 hours ago, starky said:

I dont know what makes 50-60 year old men look for 18-25 year old Thai girls? Haha also loving the I'm late 40's very young looking with lots of energy and I work out so girls in their 20's no problem (hansom man syndrome?) yeah right mate. Try that with a 20 year old girl back in your own country and tell me how you go not with a prostitute or a disadvantaged farm girl who would go with any geriatric for a little financial "assistance". While we are on the topic what is your opinion on the many falang here that choose partners who are not only young enough to be their daughters but more likely their granddaughters?  Any views on that? So I guess what your saying is that it's fine for hansom falang to look for much younger women but not for Thai women to be interested in much younger men as they couldn't possibly have anything to offer.. Racist and hypocritical much?

You are right, but may I point out that this attitude is not particular only to Thailand. Unfortunately the general mentality is such that it is absolutely fine for a 50 years old male to date or marry a 20-25 years young female. Few will express criticism. The other way around the male will probably be the laughing stock of quite a lot of people. The best example is the new president of France, whose wife is a super looking lady 24 years older than him. look at the jokes on FB. On the other hand nobody jokes about the US president (in this respect - there are many other reasons to joke about him) whose wife is 24 years younger than him. It is really high noon we change our mentality in this respect, worldwide!!!

[marko kok prong]

From the younger guys a hot time in bed,from the old a hot wallet.

[Beats56]

My thai wife was 37 when I met her. I am 20 years older. She told me she was old and said you are not old. But  by Thai standards in this country she was.

Been together 7 years and it has been great. No regrets.

 

[Saenchai]

I rather think the 18-40 is the preset value when registering and they just not understand to change it :-)

 

Kidding... But in fact I had this problem many many times in a company I worked for (I'm webdeveloper and create this forms a lot). Many customers complained about things related to date but failed to understand that they have to enter a real birthdate to make it work...

 

Doubtful that it's the case here of course hehe. On the other hand, there are for sure some women who think like "men men, where are the men. Just let me register." 

Edited July 9, 2017 by Saenchai

[Thingamabob]

Yawn. Next...

[williamgeorgeallen]

having a young man is a status symbol, older man lest desirable but hopefully comes with more money. thais dont like to narrow their window of opportunity.

[bkkrooftop]

This isn't rocket science here, Most dating sites, thai women are not looking for love, they already have their thai bf or simply not looking for one.

 

Most younger farangs have $ to dispose , just like the older farang. If you are gonna get between the sheets and get some cash, food, or fun.. My opinion is their is no limits on age when it comes to making $ or just having a fun night out at an expensive restaurant, which is hard for them to do. .

 

China is a much more conservative country when dating for the most part. Always exceptions but thai is def more liberal with sex, and just having fun.

[fordguy61mi]

6 hours ago, Beats56 said:

My thai wife was 37 when I met her. I am 20 years older. She told me she was old and said you are not old. But  by Thai standards in this country she was.

Been together 7 years and it has been great. No regrets.

 

Same here. She was 36 and I was 18 years older. Been a few years for us and it's been great. Of course women look for security and men look for someone to take care of them. That's human nature and the same all over the world and a lot of these posters on here make out like it's a bad thing and only in Thailand. We all have needs and yes, sometimes love is even involved. (Gasp!)

[realenglish1]

I have lived here for more than 15 years  I can tell you Thai woman in the 20s are just looking to have fun for the most part same as Thai men Its when they hit their 30s they realize what life is and start looking to settle down with someone stable 

Its going to be hard for them since Thai men want younger girls So they are limited to their choices This is one reason Thai woman like farang Another reason is Farang treat a thai woman with respect for the most part